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The weekend poetry contest is under way! Brocklandia is judgy... I mean judging.
A traveller rolls into the bar, the look on his face is happy
Tho' his eyes are cast to the ground
Last time he was here he didn't buy a round
Bartender drinks for all, a crocodile sandwich and make it snappy
Here's another poem from up north:
I have cookies
Canadian cookies
Which are somehow better than normal cookies
And they can be yours
In exchange for third place
Please?
Poetry contest shows
Prose is for the weak
Eh
More importantly, why would you want to? I'd take your trusting me as an utter failure on my part, since I've worked hard at being this untrustworthy. What, you think this level of laziness and corruption happens on its own?
I prefer "royally judgmental," thanks. Everyone should experience being royalty at least once in their lives ... Too bad mine is this.
I believe there's good in every person...nation whatever we identify as
Of course there's good in just about everyone, depending on how you cook 'em. Most people are delicious when barbecued. Or so Cheffy tells me.
Sprays, cleans, and polishes RMB, whilst muttering a long expletive-ridden tirade of abuse in Spanish...
Drops a couple soluble laxatives in her drink.
Lands on your shoulder, bob bob bobbing up and down...
CҺEEp cҺEEp chiяяup!
wooƒ wo⁰ƒ wo0ƒ ᛒᴀʀк ʙᴀяк!!!
Chases after the labradors...
wooƒ wo⁰ƒ wo0ƒ ᛒᴀʀк ʙᴀяк!!!
*𐌌Oʀє dogs descend upon the general melee centred around Brocklandia*
Zany Zanes and Rottweiler
Further maddened, the cats dig their claws into Brocklandia.
Absentmindedly polishes a glass vase, and doesn't get the medical box, because those cats and dogs certainly didn't exist, nor did they hurt Brocklandia - Am I right? - I mean the disneyesque bird on his shoulder was a clear indication of some mass hallucination...
Quickly stashes some boxes of coca leaves, 'Peruvian Marching Powder'™, compacted 'snow' bricks, 'glitter', 'sparkles', and other crystallised substances in the storeroom.
Ooo, baby! Hurt me harder! You know, some people pay extra for this service.
Quantum instability and Eurovision Song Contest
Misser Brock? - Uh, maybe you should check the 'supplies' in the storeroom?
Shhh! They'll sue. That's what happens when you have hundreds of lawyers on staff looking for something to do.
Nah. I'm not Catholic. I'm just a garden-variety hallucination. Technically I don't have a garden either, but if you're gonna go through the trouble of hallucinating me, might as well also hallucinate up a garden too, right? Right?
So that's where all the Bar's revenue has been disappearing to lately. TheOrc was blaming me, but apparently the real culprit has been revealed. I blame society.
Hey! Maintain social distancing until I see proof that you've all had your rabies shots and a recent flea treatment. I have enough fleas of my own already, dang it!
Hey, Cheffy, are you still looking for ingredients for that stew you were making?
We don't get holidays off here, so you two will have to do your jobs just like everyone else. Well, except me, of course. I delegated all of my tasks to Consuela de la Morrela.
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