by Max Barry

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«12. . .4,1824,1834,1844,1854,1864,1874,188. . .4,2634,264»

East Lodge wrote:Drowning your food doesn't make it better; it makes it salty and gross

Only if you use salt water, which makes everything gross. Add some pickling spices and make it brine--that'll improve the flavor.

The Grimm Reaper wrote:YES, I TRY TO MAKE SURE THAT MY JOB IS DONE, AND DONE RIGHT, SO THAT THERE'S NO COMEBACK.

And you're so darned good at your job.

Songs you dont understand wrote:As an A-POP fan, where's the AK-47?

We're out. The cockroaches checked them all out of the armory ... ah, storeroom last week when they tried to stage a coup in the kitchen. Who knew the lunch special would take an army of heavily armed cockroaches as a challenge? Plenty of cockroach carnage ensued. Last I saw, the special was using the AK-47s as toothpicks.

Arcticfoxxo wrote:wow, you're in the wrong bar then mr thanatos

No, ze's in the right establishment. Just take a look at the bodies of former employees and customers stacked in the meat locker. Of course, now and then a few don't stay there--but statistically speaking ...

Brocklandia wrote:Transmission received. Hello? Hello? Are you there? Damn this new-fangled technology!--Nothing has worked right since Windows 95.

Yo, Duncan the Delivery Doggo!--Get your spacesuit prepped. We're sending you to The Planet X to deliver this crate of peppermint schnapps. Planet X, as intrepid Looney Tunes fans will remember, is the last remaining source of the shaving cream atom, so we've arranged for Duck Dodgers and his faithful cadet Cadet to accompany you. May the gods have mercy on your soul.

Oh, all right. For those of you who have no clue, here's a YouTube link to a partial clip.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0D9ISBc2ss&list=PLDl4hFxbVYRPWUsk_7EjGUxWMcvQVhGcZ

*Physically teleports into the bar this time because the “incoming transmission” text is a hassle

Oh thank the cosmos, our precious peppermimt schnapps!

I will report back to The Controller of Planet X immediately regarding this fantastic news.

But, uh, in the meantime, can I maybe have a swig of the schnapps? You know, better test the product in advance to ensure quality.

Better yet, maybe just crack open the whole bottle.

*slaps his transporter beacon on the bar

Well, looks like I am gonna be here awhile.

Brocklandia wrote:Oh, you don't want to know my opinions. Several of them involve mass barbecuing of lemmings. Orange marinade. Yum.

Meanwhile ... Yo!--Calling Duncan the Delivery Doggo! Order up for delivery to Lemon 2. And don't drool in the shot glasses this time, please.

wooooooooF woo FFF WOOF (Translation)Duncan was asleep for a while but he is awake now! *Duncan takes the glasses (Without drooling in them) over to Lemon 2

Duncan the Delivery Doggo wrote:wooooooooF woo FFF WOOF (Translation)Duncan was asleep for a while but he is awake now! *Duncan takes the glasses (Without drooling in them) over to Lemon 2

Ah, thank you! do you want a slice of ham I have had in my pocket?

Earth Allies wrote:*Walks in with something that has a ban hammer and nazis on is banned*
When I made this list of not likeing memes, I was wrong about its power
Nazis: Hello there
ME: Hm?
Nazis: Time to make nazi colony here
(A few mins later)
*When I found out there was a nazi spaming in the UNP*

Me: Not to day Nazis
Nazis: We will push you off this time
Me: nope........

Huh never heard this? Also........ can someone get me tea?

Lemon 2 wrote:Ah, thank you! do you want a slice of ham I have had in my pocket?

Where did you get that ham? Calisto?

Brocklandia can I posses you....

Please
...
*puppy dog eyes*
*whimper*

I want your soul
*flowey laugh*

East Lodge wrote:Brocklandia can I posses you....

Please
...
*puppy dog eyes*
*whimper*

I want your soul
*flowey laugh*

*Has his lightsaber on his hand*
NO

SpenZerous wrote:Well, looks like I am gonna be here awhile.

As long as you keep your bar tab paid, you can stay as long as you like.

East Lodge wrote:Brocklandia can I posses you....
Please
...
*puppy dog eyes*
*whimper*
I want your soul
*flowey laugh*

In case you haven't noticed, I work here, which means my soul was physically, mechanically, and/or spiritually removed some years ago. You're just plain out of luck.

Duncan the Delivery Doggo wrote:wooooooooF woo FFF WOOF (Translation)Duncan was asleep for a while but he is awake now! *Duncan takes the glasses (Without drooling in them) over to Lemon 2

"Asleep"? Is that allowed?

Earth Allies wrote:Huh never heard this? Also........ can someone get me tea?

Here you go, one glass of iced tea--because, really, is there any other kind?

Earth Allies wrote:Where did you get that ham? Calisto?

It's probably the preserved remains of some previous Bar patron. Does it smell like anyone you know?

Earth Allies wrote:Where did you get that ham? Calisto?

Na just found it in my pocket... No clue where it came from :P

Brocklandia wrote:In case you haven't noticed, I work here, which means my soul was physically, mechanically, and/or spiritually removed some years ago. You're just plain out of luck.

Oh, soorry, eh. That's probably my fault, a few years back I did this "mass-possession" thing where I attempted to consume about 700 million souls simultaneously (it's one of my many powers as a ginger and possibly a Canadian) when I was bored one day. Yours probably got sucked into the mix by mistake. It's probably buried somewhere in one of my many freckles, if you can find it you can have it back.

Maple Hockey Canadia wrote:Oh, soorry, eh. That's probably my fault, a few years back I did this "mass-possession" thing where I attempted to consume about 700 million souls simultaneously (it's one of my many powers as a ginger and possibly a Canadian) when I was bored one day. Yours probably got sucked into the mix by mistake. It's probably buried somewhere in one of my many freckles, if you can find it you can have it back.

Nah. My soul was a dirty, tattered little thing, not even worth wiping the bar with, so no one has missed it.

Hey, wait a minute. Is "mass possession" something that involves the Pope?

here is the flag waifu source

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6r6dYuFhvc

Timestamp 1:35

Brocklandia wrote:As long as you keep your bar tab paid, you can stay as long as you like.

Note: The Planet X does not assume financial responsibility for the debts incurred by SpenZerous .

The Controller of Planet X wrote:Note: The Planet X does not assume financial responsibility for the debts incurred by SpenZerous .

Belches loudly

... (proceeds to slur speech) Don’t worry, I’ve got it covered.

Reaches into his pocket to find only a few bottle caps

Maybe I can sweep the place up a bit and feed the zombie to cover this tab?

Brocklandia wrote:"Asleep"? Is that allowed?

Shh, let the good boy sleep. We don't pay them, so being lazy is their form of payment.

The Controller of Planet X wrote:Note: The Planet X does not assume financial responsibility for the debts incurred by SpenZerous .

Yeah, we'll let the debt court judge decide that.

SpenZerous wrote:Maybe I can sweep the place up a bit and feed the zombie to cover this tab?

Well, our Zombie Penguins usually eat fish but, hey, maybe they're looking for a change of diet. Go ahead and feed yourself to them.

Tercania Islands wrote:Shh, let the good boy sleep. We don't pay them, so being lazy is their form of payment.

Works for me. Or, uhm, not working, I mean.

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