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Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

March 30th, 2017
Issue XXIV. Thunder On The Mountain

Index
I. Heaven falls to Hell
II. Spotlight News
-New York Reopens Borders
-Kyraina Wins War RPer of 2016!
III. Ask Fredd!
IV. Mixed media on canvas, 1996 Gottfried Helnwein
V. Artwork of the Damned
VI. Wetwork's History Unconvoluticized

Heaven falls to Hell
Article by, The Stalker

The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make a heaven of Hell, a hell of Heaven.
~Paradise Lost

Mewahaha, that’s right dearys, Heaven now belongs to the beloved Devil of NationStates, the Mad King of Hell The Stalker.

How did the devil conquer Heaven? To become the first King of Heaven and Hell. It’s simple, voodoo witchcraft magic. Out with the old God, in with the new, but with the old Gold still there cause the Devil and him are buddies.

With the fall of Heaven comes a stir in the air. The voices know what comes next. A new scripture for the people, delivered by the prophets. It is time for the Mad King to claim his birthright, the entire realm of NationStates. Together I truly believe we can all be Mad.

Rumors circulate that Heaven will soon be passworded to secure Heaven for all time in the name of Satan.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7, All good children go to Heaven.

Spotlight News
Compiled by, The Stalker

New York Reopens Borders!

Start spreadin' the news, New York the demonic state of the Kingdom of Hell reopens its borders to the public! Having been closed with a password in a similar fashion as Hell for roughly 9 months due to the inactive founder and becoming the target of regular tag raids. Upon the return of the founder Gell, wa delegate access was closed and the password removed.

New York is one of the few free state regions, while the majority being left as trophies region of the United States of America.

I want to wake up in a city that doesn't sleep
And find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap
These little town blues are melting away
I'll make a brand new start of it, in old New York
If I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you , New York, New York
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Kyraina Wins War Role-players of 2016!

Kyraina won War Role-player of the year in the Best of P2TM 2016 Awards.

Kyraina recently became head of The Department of Sloth in Hell, AKA our Rpg department, with the intention of hopefully getting a new Hell themed war RPG.
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(Hell's Bells welcome submissions for future Spotlight News articles, contact The Stalker for details.)

Ask Fredd!
Advice Column by, Freddland

Dear Fredd,
Is that bearded dude on Stalker’s flag really a picture of Stalker?

Curious

Curio,
That’s a common misconception. The bearded dude on Stalker’s banner is actually Stanley Karzowski, a plumber and sock model from Hoboken. Stalker actually looks almost exactly like Abe Vigoda in his Barney Miller years.

Fredd
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Dear Fredd,

Do demons celebrate Saint Patty's Day? If so what is your favorite kind of brew? Have you ever met Dionysus (God of Wine)? Love to meet that guy!

Sincerely,
Alcoholic

Alky,
Demons don’t celebrate St. Patrick’s Day any more that they celebrate Saint Hildegard’s Day or St. Elmo’s Fire. Demons don’t need an excuse to get rip-roaring drunk. So, everyday is St. Patty’s Day down here. Favorite brew is almost any IPA or a good thick stout. Dio happens to be a buddy of mine. Throws hellacious parties.

Fredd
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Have a question for Fredd you'd like to see answered in the next issue of Hell's Bells? Submit here via telegram to Freddland.

Mixed media on canvas, 1996 Gottfried Helnwein
Article by, Zen beatitudes

Welcome to the new Google Adsense friendly art review, brought to you by website technical considerations.
And so boys and girls, lets start with searching for- Gottfried Helnwein, Adoration of the Magi
Now click on Images in your results, click on the first one and select View Image. Throw that bad boy up half screen and make the other half this wondrous issue of Hells Bells.

BAM! Adsense is mollified and we can continue apace. I now humbly present for your consideration an analysis of this thought provoking piece.

Helnwein has taken a subject of religious reverence and dogma which hardly varies from one portrayal to the next and has not just turned it on its head but severed its roots in the mono-culture of Christian belief. The arrangement of the figures clearly relates to motive and iconography of the adoration of the three Magi, such as were common especially in the German, Italian and Dutch 15th century artworks.

Personally, I find this a powerful piece. Helnwein forces us to reconsider that much of the historic religious and military imagery we have been exposed to is just as manipulative as his modern re-appropriation. It seems to speak of the inherent desire of both religion and government to control absolutely. Once there was “ONE TRUE GOD”, there was killing in His name. As long as there is power to be had, there are those who would covet it, and as long as there is sacrifice, there will be those who gain from it. In particular, Catholicism and the third Reich have many parallels. Both would rule as the state and as religion, both would supplant the other in the religious and secular realms unrivalled and unchallenged, and both would happily rule Absolutely as the monarchs of old did, enjoying total control over every aspect of the lives of their subjects. As with all our modern governments, fear is an important weapon, and in this context THE most important. Where would God's carrot of an afterlife be without the stick of sin and hell? Fear of not just punishment, but Divine punishment keeps people in line. With the National Socialists there is the same pattern. Fear of death, punishment, of the punishment of one's family and descendants, kept people in step with the Prussian jackboot, and the rewards of a party that controlled everything may as well be God's grace bestowed.

Then there is the philosophical similarities. Joseph Goebbels could have happily taken much of the bible and used it quite effectively with little change, and quite probably did. Both the Christians and the Nazis were great believers in the idea of a Satan. This word originally meant 'adversary' and the role was played by angels of the lord to test the faithful, but was included as a single independent source of evil by the council of Nicea around the 3rd century a.d. Ironic that a council of learned Jewish elders would put on paper in a book of faith the idea of a single being and race (demons) being responsible for all the ills of the world. Just goes to show that the Nazi party was making use of tried and true ideas, as when they created the modern equivalent of the pogroms against the Jews that the ancient world was also so fond of.

This may seem off track, but to me it is subtly implied and acknowledged, particularly as the figures remain in the pose traditionally illustrated for this particular subject matter. The major difference is that usually Mary is taller and the wise men are kneeling to her. Jesus often sits higher than Mary, who holds him as exalted above all others, or he sits on her lap beatified. Here, it is the Magi who have ascendancy, but not power. They are respectful, acknowledging a debt or kinship to those that blazed the trail they would now walk, or to the instrument that will lay their path bare. The aspect of their veneration has changed, but it is still veneration or at least the subservience of need. A passing of the old to the new, and a balance of power.

The entire picture is washed out in a blue tinge. This device is often used to give character and definition to emotional states. The matrix made use of it by washing the world with green, and then the real world with a blue color. Blue tones are also used to symbolize something sinister, as well as sterility. Both ideas have some merit in the context of this artwork. The almost black and white of the picture gives greater contrast to the shades, with the most obvious being the white of the woman's dress and the black uniforms of the Waffen SS officers. Polarised opposites in so many ways, yet bound together by something powerfully intangible.

The positioning in particular is of note inferring much but explicitly saying little. The most interesting feature is the lit central area encompassing the officer behind her, the woman herself, and the baby Jesus-Hitler. Of the officers, only he mirrors her pose. He seems to respect that it is she that holds the power, and she could even be quietly acknowledging his deference. The child actually stands on his own outside the light. Definitely a he, as the officer on the right can attest to. This could easily be a reference to circumcision, and brings to mind further Jewish associations. The focus here however is definitely the woman. Hers is the only face that is lit in a balanced way, and she is the center of attention. Interestingly, the angle of her head infers she is aware of the attention being given yet still retains a classic poise and dignity. Her right hand seems to be presenting the child but her left has a firm grasp, retaining possession of him. Those in attendance look to be waiting for his release, or at the least making sure that he is suitable to become their messiah-fuhrer. Baby Jesus-Hitler is the only one looking at the audience; the ever changing present. He seems in that respect to belong more to us than to the other characters that surround him.

The woman's dress accentuates her femininity, with the draping over her shoulders of a cloak adding to the overall effect. She is beautiful, but the attitude of the officers seems to be in deference not to her beauty but to the intangible power she embodies. The three of them in the middle also harks to the pagan myths of old, a cycle of rebirth and sacrifice where the goddess has a consort who is born with the season of renewal. The consort dies after impregnating the goddess with what will become the vessel of his resurrection. The woman seems to be almost acknowledging his role, now that the finished product is held in her hands.

Finally, in an emotional context, the image speaks as all good art does, to another part of the mind entirely. Not the part that connects meanings and draws conclusions, but something deeper.. A dimly sensed meaning that refuses to be treated with reason, and that is the purpose of art. To translate experience and emotion into a physical representation that words alone cannot encompass.
Jean Cocteau said it well-”Children and Lunatics cut the Gordian knot which the poet spends his life trying to untie”
To Children and Lunatics we could almost add the artist.
~wetwork

Artwork of the Damned
"Creep"
11x14 Oil Painting by, The Stalker

Wetwork's History Unconvoluticized
Article by, Zen beatitudes

One great deed attributed to this 'person' is written in a work published at St. Omer, in 1625 by John Heigham and has the story read thusly.

"One day as the Saint sayd masse in the sayd church, a sacrilegious magitian, the child of perdition, stood without, and with a rodd put in at the window, cast down the chalice, and shed the holy sacrament, but God without delay severely punished so wicked a sacrilege, for the earth opening his mouth after a most strange manner, devoured the magitian, who descended alive downe to hell."

A clear and cogent argument against tarot cards, abortions and pap spear testing, but what of the unrevealed history I know you yearn to bask beneath? Fear not good people for I shall baskerize the lot of ye!

The being known as St. Patrick, patron Saint of homebrew and winter tolerant gange, was in fact the first Venutian to set foot on Earth, choosing Ireland due to the linguistic similarity between his native tongue and the weird sh*t the Irish speak. After hearing about yet another a peaceful new religion sprouting up in the slums of Irrenhaus, capital city of the Naked Venutian Empire he decided enough was enough, he didn't enjoy being naked (having a fetish for robes) and hated that he was expected to suppress his urge to kill things, especially people. He left his native planet in search of something more, something nurturing of the spirit as it was, not as it was thought it should be, something with wicked cool robes and big stick for whacking asshats and possibly some buggery on the side. Once he contrived to journey here, he discovered two things of import; The Creature and Druids. Depressingly these despisers of man made calendars and a modern building code looked to nature as the measure of time instead of imposing upon the universe whatever made them sleep well at night, just like those damned ancient space weirdos he'd run away from. Talk about unlucky. On the plus side though, the Gods themselves have never created a thing as wondrous in quality as the Dark Elixer.

But while the future saint did tour the fields of green budness accidentally grown from the finest Venutian stock he had inadvertently seeded from detritus in his clothes, he had a revelationary hallucination much like the ever tripping St Paul. He crafted a stick for which to beat people's bodies and crafted words for which to beat their spirits and set about demolishing respect and harmony for division and discord but not in the illuminating Erisian fashion. No, this was the way as revealed to him by his own galactically stoned unconscious to eliminate the Earth hippies and usher in a self sustaining rule of power hungry amoral stick wielding hypocrites. And lo it came to pass, and verily did the young boys of Ireland weep for their buggered future.

And so after much battering of spirit and cajoling of mind... and with more sacred ultraviolence of course (as is traditional when dealing with religious conversion), the successful "Patrick" was enshrined as a living Kahuna of Deep Thought by those who partook of the sacred Venutian Herb, and as a Saint by those not fortunate enough to blaze the sticky space herb. He was canonized by the Pope who agreed that du hexen hase was one cool cat and bringing him into the fold could only make sense. Apart from that he'd single handedly brought low a functioning social order and that was all the resume the pope needed to see, proof that you can still occasionally walk in of the street and talk your way into a job. In later years, P2 would consolidate laundering of the worldwide funds made from trafficking alien marijuana, but alas, that is another story still being held in reserve.

For this reason is green the colour of His day and the Irish the favoured of His people. The whole business about snakes arises from the hectic period of about a month when the vast majority of alcoholic Irish did transfer chemical loyalty from the Guinness to the Gange and a national period of DT's was endured. Many were the imaginary snakes whacked and yet more were the heads of actual cynics and surviving free thinking people that were accorded the same honour. Ever thus has the word of Gods been spread amongst the unworthy and recalcitrant. Clearly it didn't take and people soon returned to swimming in pools of viscous beverage, which goes to show you that leprechauns cannot live on donuts alone.

So there you have the seriously abridged version as the constraints of reader attention span, publishing deadlines and space combine to limit our special time together. But take heart dark souls, for next month we shall slice and dice yet another sculpture of truth from the convoluted mess of history. Salut!

We hope you've enjoyed our twenty-fourth issue of Hell's Bells. Remember April Fools Nuclear Apocalypse starts in 24hours be ready!! Nations interested in contributing to future issues should contact The Stalker for details.

Important Note: In payment for having enjoyed our Newspaper you are expected to up arrow this factbook. Failing to up arrow this factbook means you are willing choosing to forfeit ownership of your soul to The Stalker for all eternity instead (I have lots of souls now thanks to this). Thanks for reading.