LilyBoard

By Tiber and Rione, Delegate of Lily

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Proposing legislation to the fancy institution of international law that is World Assembly, then having it pass, is always a huge deal for whatever person who wrote the legislation. They get admitted to the figurative "I wrote something cool" club, their nation gets a shiny badge identifying them as the author of some proposal in the General Assembly or Security Council, and the dynamic value of their nation's playing card goes through the roof. Amidst all of the proposals that have been put to vote however, obscured by all the proper formatting and intellectual ideas, are a collection of proposals so epically foul or stupid that the hand of GenSec moderation itself had to come down upon them and swipe them into the Shadow Realm, where they are then washed, sterilized, and burned in a pit. I'm talking about the cream of the crop of illegal WA proposals and more, written by the noobs of the NationStates world and discarded by everyone as soon as possible. The phrasing and terms are all wacky as frick, but the humor extracted from these precious little diamonds are so legendary that they should be archived for everyone to see. The list just keeps getting longer. Here we go.

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An Architectural Revolution
By Fictiobourg
To the General Assembly
January 31, 2024

Uh oh, it looks like somebody submitted their middle school English essay to the General Assembly instead of Google Classroom, because this certainly isn't a piece of legislation. The only enforcement that this offers is probably just tugging on people's heartstrings about how wonderful traditional architecture is, and this falls kinda flat even in that aspect. Don't get me wrong here, I'm a massive traditional architecture fan, but justifying your so-called legislation with "modern buildings can be really ugly" is super shakey because traditional designs can appear the same way to another person. Modern architecture fans can read this proposal, say "nuh uh, I don't think so", and they likely wouldn't be any less correct than this author. The quality of architecture at its highest levels is mostly subjective, as are English essays. However, seeing as this essay-like proposal is not written at the highest levels, it definitely gets a failing grade.

Writing that we'll be "bringing back beauty" twice in the conclusion won't help. I know people strive to reach that minimum essay word count, but it's the content that matters first. Do better on the next essay and remember to submit it to Google Classroom, not the General Assembly.

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All We Want for Christmas Is You
By Simone Republic
To the Security Council
December 30, 2022

There's actually a startling amount of conflict over this resolution, which is pretty clearly meant to be sort of a jokey fun thing but has for sure fallen flat on its attempt to be lighthearted, all because of its introductory paragraph specifically.

To start off, this piece of legislation had 2 drafts of it submitted, and this was a result of something funky that already happened with the legality status of the first submission. Basically what happened was that the resolution moderator who reviewed Simone Republic's submission first declared the proposal as legal, but then changed the ruling to illegal after another close look at it because of a certain wording issue in the draft that broke rule 2a of writing resolutions. The same moderator then changed the ruling back to legal, then finally settled with declaring it illegal again. The reason for the second legal ruling was that the ruling that stated the proposal as illegal before that citied the rule violated as 4a instead of 2a, rule 4a being a rule about putting linked text in submissions and therefore having nothing to do with the violation. Maybe moderators have to switch the ruling first in order to edit the text of previous rulings, resulting in the third ruling mentioned above, but regardless, the first draft had the insanely unusual status of having its legality changed 3 times.

After the circumstances mentioned above caused the draft to be thrown out, Simone Republic submitted a second draft to the Security Council, and it was at this point when a couple of people began noticing a big problem with the preamble of the proposal. It's the contents of the preamble, and not the legality situation of the first draft that qualifies this legislation for inclusion in this lovely list. Here's the giant oopsie. In the preamble, the author wrote "using the term "Christmas" to include all festive seasons across the multi-verse regardless of culture or religion" as one of its terms, doing so "for convenience". I think you probably understand where I'm going with this. Christmas is a holiday of Christian origin and deeply rooted in its traditions. People of various other religions and cultures mark their own very different respective holidays around the same time as Christmas in what could be considered "the festive season". The way that the resolution tries to categorise festivities like Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Omisoka, and more all under "Christmas" is just completely absurd, and it just ruins the flavour what is otherwise a super creative proposal. There were concerns raised about the rhythm of the song that follows if "Christmas" is not used, but I honestly think there are 2 straightforward solutions to this. Simone Republic could just take out the "encompassing all festive seasons regardless of whatever details" part and make the legislation Christmas specific. After all, that's what the original song "All I Want For Christmas Is You" does. Another solution would be to replace "Christmas" with "Maxxmas", a name that is already widely used as the replacement for Christmas and has the same amount of syllables.

To finish this one off, I just want to make it clear that I'm NOT trying to go against Simone Republic personally. Usually what I do with this list is laugh at both the submission and its author for their idiocy, but in this case this is just about that one crazy term in the preamble. Everything else that Simone Republic has written here is wonderful stuff. The edited lyrics flow incredibly well, and I have a great deal of respect for Simone as a legislative author. It's just nasty how that one sentence about "the holidays = Christmas" can make this entire draft bite the dust. So that's that, bye.

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Puberty of the Animals
By Brazzilian-german navy
To the General Assembly
December 21, 2022

This collection just started and we already have a doozy. The first thing I think about when I read this marvel is the type of document that my teachers when I was in 3rd grade used to get when they assigned homework to the class trying to teach them how the government works. The writing on this thing just pure gibberish. It's no surprise that GenSec struck this one down under the understandable English rule.

Let's look at the title. This is the only part of the proposal that doesn't really look like it was written by a kid in elementary school, it's more like something that your average guy in middle school would write when they just got taught Human Growth and Development a day before. The instructor said some of the no-no words that they say and this fella here goes mad over it. It's just a crazy title for a WA proposal, especially when they put the word "the" before "animals". Yeah that's right gang, we're talking about the animals here. What animals exactly though? No idea.

It only goes downhill from there. People always say to me that "first impressions matter". The first sentence you see when you start reading talks about some guy named Coj'al Neub planting "an tree" on "an Thursday", and then it asks about what's after the numbers 2, 3, and 6, which already makes no sense. This man here just linked the numbers 2, 3, and 6 to planting a dang tree, and then continues with Coj'al Neub saying "the world is finishing" and talking about stopping carbon dioxide. That's the entirety of the first paragraph.

Okay, we've started off incoherently, but at least it mentioned putting a halt to the phantom menace that is carbon dioxide. So now we'll see this man's plan to stop CO2 pollution, right? NOPE. They're talking about how a Scandinavian stopped industry now. So I guess the goal of the proposal is to stop industry- the sentence after is about Coj'al Neub in the hospital with pneumonia. "Pneumonia" formatted in bold text, and then they quickly jump to microorganisms, then "the die", and then back to pneumonia with "MICROBOTS". Then 50 percent of the Earth was green! We end with the big, brave question that is whether or not pneumonia caused our brave hero Coj'al Neub to have depression. Intriguing. The best part is that nowhere in the contents of this document is there any mention of animal puberty.

11 lines of ridiculous, unactionable content that we can all chuckle at for its absurdity, and what's more? The author tagged a random guy as the co-author, even though they had no fricking idea about the proposal. C'mon man.