by Max Barry

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by The Sierlijke Wonder Supermacht of Valentine Z. . 6 reads.

Weapon of Mass Pacifism - Meow Missile - Info and Sale Ledger

The Valentian Defense Industry is proud to present our latest offering for nations with pacifism in mind... The Meow Missile!

* Large Cat not included.

What is it?

It is basically a refurbished ICBM with all the explosives taken out and instead is jam-packed with telecommunications equipment.

How does it work?

When launched to a designated target, its sharp point will poke onto the ground. Given the nature of the sharpish tip, it's still a good practice to launch it at desolate places, lest you ironically killed someone with its landing. After it landed successfully, the transmitters inside will broadcast a video clip on all frequencies, hijacking equipments included but not limited to: Televisions, PDAs, Cell phones, Radios, Smartphones, Laptops, Desktops. The video lasts 30 seconds, with the first 20 seconds being randomised series of clips of cats and kittens, ranging from playing with their toys, to purring and meowing. The last 10 seconds will show a personalised message "[YOUR NATION NAME] would like to negotiate with you peacefully!". After the 30 sec clip is over, all the affected devices will went back to normal, without a trace of the clips being inside.

Is it safe?

Other than the dangerous nature of a missile landing on someone unfortunate, it is pretty much safe. The transmission will not affect medical devices, and emergency calls being made at the time of transmission will not be intercepted through a series of algoraithms and program accompanying the transmission (e.g. if a cell phone is making a call to an emergency service, the transmission will arrive on the phone, but will delay the interception until the call is over. The transmission deletes itself if it detects that it's inside a medical device.)


Length: 30 meters
Radius (largest cross-section): 3.35 meters.
Cruise speed: 4000 km/h.
Overdrive speed: 8000 km/h, uses fuel twice as fast.
Power: Hydrogen Fuel Cell.
Range: 20000 km.
Material: An alloy of Titanium and Aluminium.
Transmission Range: User-Adjustable, from 1 km to 2000 km.
Cost: 100,000 Valentian Credits per missile (207,000 NSD, at 1 Valentian Credits = 2.07 NationStates Dollars).
Reusablility: Yes, but due to the impact and force of the landings, it's good for 100 uses before it gets horribly inaccurate with its landings. Dismantling and Recycling guide provided.

** The message is pre-designated of the form "[YOUR NATION NAME] would like to negotiate with you peacefully!", with only the name being customisable. For example, "Valentine Z would like to negotiate with you peacefully!"

*** We are NOT responsible for deaths that are caused by missile landings. It is meant to be free of explosions, chemical, or biological hazards, but the nature and location of the landing is still your responsibility. Make sure that the area is clear before launching.

**** We strongly DISCOURAGE retrofitting it with explosives, chemicals, or biological hazards. The hidden onboard sensors and spectrometers will know when it has these items inside the missile.

Order form:
Nation Name:
Purchasing Contractor / Organisation:
Name of Representative (if any):
Purchase Quantity:
Nation Name to be Displayed on Message:

Purchase Ledger:

Nation Name / OOC, Long Form

Nation Name / IC

Purchasing Contractor / Organisation

Name of Representative (if any)

Purchase Quantity

NSD Overall Cost

Nation Name to be Displayed on Message

The Sultanate of AL-Hind Indus

Al-Hind Indus

Royal Indusian Airforce

Al Mansoor


NSD 4,140,000.00

Al-Hind Indus

The Confederal Alliance of Pilarcraft

Confederal Alliance of Pilarcraft

Confederal Remnants

Chief Lawbringer Astrid Hoag


NSD 4,140,000,000.00

The Alliance to restore the Federation