by Max Barry

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DispatchBulletinCampaign

by The People's Republic of The Communist Warden. . 805 reads.

Wehraboo 2 Electric Boogaloo


WORKERS! Despite having cleansed the disinformation and ignorance of wehraboos once before, we are saddened to report that the gross mistreatment of the German language continues to this day. As such, we, the grammar and spelling commies, are forced to reignite the forges of correction yet again and show the proletariat the counter-revolutionary spelling and grammar!


MISTAKES IN ABUNDANCE


Comrades, a new low has been reached. With great despair, we watch the struggle of the German language against its oppressors. The previously correct application of the prefix "Reichs" has now been replaced by this abhorrent combination of "reichlich", attached to whatever noun pleases them. Unfortunately for them, that word means "sufficient, abundant". One thing is for sure, the only thing KAISERREICH has "reichlich" of are german mistakes.


A CASE FOR CASES


The singular genitive, which is the correct and most stylish way of writing, would be "des". There is also another, more informal, way: Use "von" and the dative pronoun. What they created, a bastard between the two ways roughly translates to "of of the Freikorps". Also, there is no way to know if the singular form of Korps was meant. Since the nominative case would be either "das" for singular, or "die" for plural. We just assume they intended it to be singular because KAISERREICH is, as we know, singularly bad at German.


GERMAN SKILLS NOT OPERATIONAL



And yet we find another travesty in their usage of German. It's almost as if they are doing this on purpose to scare away us german spelling commies — too bad, despite their best efforts, it would take a lot more to scare our spelling consciousness away. "Operativ" is an adjective meaning "operational", not a noun or a title. If we use the same root word, the correct noun would be "Operateur", meaning either a surgeon (raping the German language with surgical precision) or a movie projector operator (shining a light on the depths of their inadequacies).


ADVERTISING FOR A CLASSLESS SOCIETY


Even hybrids between English and German are not safe! According to the imperial law, there are three "Stämme" (the correct plural form of "Stamm"). However, if you write "All Stamm", you are implying that there is in fact only one. "Each Stamm" would be the logically correct form, or alternatively "All Stämme". But "All Stamm" could, at best, be translated to "the trunk of outer space", which we suppose adequately expresses that their german is rooted in abject outlandishness.



Probably referring to the record number of misspelt German words and broken grammar rules.

Co-authored by Roavin and Kurnugia with the support of Pergamon.

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