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by The King of All Wild Things. . 1,013 reads.

Wild Rumpus Book of Records


Welcome to the Wild Rumpus Book of Records, the official record book of Wild Rumpus games.

These are predicated on dedicated (and medicated) athletes, coming in their legions from all regions, from all stations in all nations, to raise their game to new heights of fame (and shame). The achievements of these benchmark-setters are duly recorded in letters, so that in future years we can recall their fears, their blood, sweat and tears, that brought out our awful jeers and awe-filled cheers.

You know your nation can compete at this level, so please send a representative to Where the Wild Things Are, and demonstrate your prowess on the RMB.
Can't post on the RMB? Send All Wild Things a telegram.

Please Up-Vote!

Shameless to ask I know, but please up-vote this dispatch. Up-voting raises the profile of the games and the Book of Records. A higher profile encourages more nations to take part, and then the whole thing will start to look a little less lame!



Contents

How Long Can You Hang From a Tree by Your Fingertips?

Inari Sumo

Orienteering

Royal Ass Côte 2020

Royal Ass Côte 2019

Royal Ass Côte 2018

Royal Ass Côte 2017

Roulette

Round the World in 80 Days

World Cup - Russia 2018



How Long Can You Hang From a Tree by Your Fingertips?

In honour of the original Wild Rumpus, where Wild Things swung from trees and howled at the moon, every nation is asked to try this event on their first visit to Where the Wild Things Are. Only the first attempt counts!

How to compete

LinkRoll two dice.

The dice score shows your time in minutes. Post your score on the RMB!

The scores so far

Nation

Region

Date

Time (minutes)

Nuclear Wastelands

The Dank Meme Alliance

31 Mar 2018

12

Naetopiam

Where the Wild Things Are

31 Mar 2018

7:31 (11 really)

British london

Where the Wild Things Are

19 Dec 2018

11

All Wild Things

Where the Wild Things Are

30 Apr 2017

10

Geodesicdragon

My Little Pony Equestria

22 May 2017

10

Quantilia *

Yarnia

16 Jan 2018

10

Missisquoi *

CISB

6 May 2017

9

Honeydewistan *

Sikhi Empire

20 May 2017

9

Kissinger-Monroe

The Bar on the corner of every region

24 February 2018

9

Wild pooh corner ambassador

The House at Pooh Corner

Star Wars Day 2017

8

Treehuggers

Where the Wild Things Are

18 June 2017

8

Vegaslovakia

Misanthropic Bloc

6 December 2017

8

Duxverdale

Avadam Inn

25 January 2018

8

The Fields of Asphodel

Avadam Inn

26 January 2018

8

Wandering Marsupials

Wandering around NS

20 September 2020

8

Lowersian gambler

Where the Wild Things Are

12 March 2018

7

Kangaroo hierarchy

Where the Wild Things Are

1 May 2017

6

The 21 Hot Air Balloonists

Where the Wild Things Are (I suppose!)

28 Sep 2017

6

Sanjikurisa

Coristno

21 Jun 2018

5

Almonaster

Where the Wild Things Are

26 May 2017

4

The rolling hills of ever expanding land

Where the Wild Things Are

11 June 2017

2:23

*TG player from non-embassy region

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Inari Sumo

Following a public consultation about sports promotion, the town of Roi became home to a new shiro styled Sumo stadium. In the space of a week, Roi-jo was built from flatpack by untrained Roi-tonians. Here, sumo wrestlers face each other in the dohyo (ring), with the aim of rising up the banzuke ranks.

How to compete

See the Inari Sumo guidelines.

The Banzuke so far

Banzuke

Name

Nation

Fought

Won

Win Ratio

Sandanme

Hiromatsu

Almonaster

4

2

50%

Jonidan

Totatari

Honeydewistan

3

1

33%

Sandanme

Totoro

All Wild Things

3

2

67%

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Orienteering

To celebrate the 2017 World Games in Wroclaw, we went orienteering. Unfortunately, nobody could find the starting point! (It was in Wroclaw 2017). Hopefully our next event will be more successful.

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Royal Ass Côte 2020

Eleven nations accepted this year's invitation to sponsor donkeys in the Royal Ass Côte. Dignitaries from sixty-one nations arrived to show their support.
As always, commentary was provided by a leading sports journalist.

And the Royal Ass of 2020 is... Mother of Mojave! Congratulations to Hermes Express 123.

Donkey Name

Nation

Distance ran (furlongs)

Dat Ass

Feoras

1

Earthbound

Finmany

8

Grand Galleass

Jehovahs Witness

1

Kamehameha

ScotlandSerenity

16

Maksim the Moscow Mule

Drunkndisorderly

2

Mother of the Mojave

Hermes Express 123

21

Okey Donkey

Mathuvan Union

2

Omega

The Red Society

4

Salad Ass

Caduceo

5

The Wild Behind

New Bergslagen

1

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Royal Ass Côte 2019

Eleven nations accepted this year's invitation to sponsor donkeys in the Royal Ass Côte. Dignitaries from eighty-five nations arrived to show their support.
As always, Commentary was provided by a leading sports journalist.

And the Royal Ass of 2019 is... Lazy Ass! Congratulations to Smiley Bob.

Donkey Name

Nation

Distance ran (furlongs)

Ass eater

Anacin

5

Gregory

Terrusya

11

I have a big butt, and I cannot lie

GoodKingWenceslas

12

Kim Kardashian

Aglore

8

Lazy Ass

Smiley Bob

14

Moonsplash

Elysium forests

2

Novaturient

Wolfram Von Richthofen

1

Short Muffins

Padfootia

13

so basically im donky

Evokice

10

Wild Ass

Nudistonia

9

(Oops! It's June 2020, and I realised I missed posting the 2019 results here!)

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Royal Ass Côte 2018

Eleven nations accepted this year's invitation to sponsor donkeys in the Royal Ass Côte. Dignitaries from an astounding one hundred and eighty-eight nations arrived to show their support.
As always, Commentary was provided by a leading sports journalist.

And Royal Ass of the 2018 is... Ruthien! Congratulations to Glacikaldr.

Donkey

Sponsor

Distance ran (furlongs)

Ruthien

Glacikaldr

62

Snickerdoodle

Apple-loosa

56

My Wife Knows Everything

Please understand

18

Eeyore

Sanjikurisa

14

Hercules

Earthbound Immortal Squad

9

Daunè

Lihone

7

⧸S͈̬̖̝͍ͬ̊ͫ̆̎̕e̟̥̹̻̩͉͖ͮ͆̉̊̉c̱̳̣̰͂̐̽̏͒͒̓ṟ̻̝̍̅ͣ̅́e̵̯̤̤ͩ̄̌̊ͧ̀ͫt̆͒̏a̼͉͈̺̗͍̟ͧͫ̂ͩ͗̂r̲̐͑i̯͍̝̐̌ͣạ̱̃̆̽̚̚͝t̮̲͛ͪ⧸

The Marsupial Illuminati

7

Mikael

Blue Ice

5

Dan Quayle

Terre australes

4

Lorde

Ijebu state

3

Red

Rbbf

3

Many thanks go out to the nations who supported this event. They are listed below next to their favourite ass.

Dan Quayle (Terre Australes)
Mommabear, Danelaw Scandinavia, Terre australes, Im not against raider against fake fenda

Daunè (Lihone)
Ambelviser, Erbersia, Cansilica, Joushiki nante iranai, Shady middle man, Lihone, Neue geldborse

Eeyore (Sanjikurisa)
Morocco mole, Sanjurika, Please understand, The Bears, Western Vapia, New Haudenosaunee Confederacy, Doggor, Jaxon, Severely suppressed serfs of salutations, Queens port, Cataclistal, Zombie Minion, Vooperias, Meralicia

Hercules (Earthbound immortal squad)
Earthbound Immortal Squad, Finmany, Gypsy Lands, Little St Nick, Deuchstland, Cindy lou who, Kamina and Simon, Havadar, The hundred acre wood

Lorde (Ijebu State)
Rejectionville, Crazybloxian Empire, Fortis Draco Islands

Mikael (Blue Ice)
Zaila, Blue Ice, Santo Lat, Tiny utopians, Hynx krivelte

My Wife Knows Everything (Please Understand)
Smiley Bob, United Christian, New Ducklands, Taralania, The Universe World, Democratic Empire of Romania, Pakistani india bangalore and ceylon, The Sands Casino, Aerilia, Downrightcirclesquare, Oldaman, Prussian polish commonwealth, El chupacabras, Freilibre, Divine skye, Making Catgirls Real, Stilia, Techpan

Red (RBBF)
Rbbf, Couch fort, Chadargul

Ruthien (Glacikaldr)
Drop Your Pants, Severisen, Xoriet, Waffia, Libetarian Republics, The grim reaper, Escade, Duckling Squire, Pergamon, Canton Empire, Novaya Equestria, Zazumo, Larnion, Orange creek, Imperium of Josh, Ienovo, Erinor, T-ara, Malphe, Marilyn manson freaks, Glacikaldr, Weastern libraria, The quakers, Sassoon, Westberg Empire, Cormactopia prime, Alkasia, Xialta, Jar Wattinree, Fauxia, Invader Unit 1, Altinsane, Socialist Communist States, Founder-Chan, Drazina, Chervil, Arkadia Universalis, Jodi samsinak, Black-eyed heathens, Wiranath, Kozmix, Otaran, Grossvietnam, Lorigia, Xzoardyyn, Alpha centauri ii-a, Feradia, Kostrorleauny, Liberarus, Latman, Green Africa, Comia Noracon, The Air Force of South Asians 19, Protector eorum 9, Calalin, Margiboof, The nod corporation, Dogeius, Hydra dragon, Monarchial law, The rainbow raider agenda, Genvatera

Secretariat (The Marsupial Illuminati)
Livensola, Auphelia, Pythagoras trousers, Canaltia, Empire of Elysium, Midasia, United Amerikana

Snickerdoodle (Apple-Loosa
Frenequesta, The Democratic Nation of Unovia, The Stalker, Altius, Tripartite Empire, The Church of Satan, The Kingdom Historia, Apple-loosa, Eastern Denmark, Canovia, Almira, Fractured minds, Emerses, Vando0sa, Gurkland, Ivesi, Australia minor, Bycrest, Duxverdale, Oglician, Illrian, Penguania and Antarctica, Ormenea, The Fields of Asphodel, Hardenburg, Princess Miyu, Carlos menem, Zombie Penguins, Artonin, Limpbizkit, Samudera, Wild pooh corner ambassador, Sanjikurisa, Mr manson, Wild Puppet, Seltzer boy, Turbeaux, Yodoshi, OF Arian Hellas, Aquias, Fahran, Transonlatria, The Hanzanburg Union, Clavonian Empire, Greater hindia, Beepee, Red Foxia, Ekkab, Communistico, Devi vytherin, Noniala, Duechland, The operators order, Iahselene, Soswana, Sakhemi

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Royal Ass Côte 2017

Nine nations accepted our invitation to sponsor donkeys in the Royal Ass Côte. Dignitaries from ninety-nine nations arrived to show their support.
Commentary was provided by a leading sports journalist.
And Royal Ass of the 2017 is...

Donkey Name

Nation

Region

Distance ran (furlongs)

Bear Ass

The Bears

The Bear Country

33

Dingbat

Mount Seymour

Forest

20

Get thee behind me

Almonaster Nuevo

Canada

16

Screw Beaverton School District

New north cascades

RGBN

8

Stoned off His Ass Hippy

Orange pomander

Hippy Haven

7

Rolax

Kangaroo hierarchy

Where the Wild Things Are

6

Uselessjunkandnuclearwaste.co.uk

Honeydewistania

Sikhi Empire

4

No Black Hawks!

A dank military

The Great Universe

3

Assy McAssFace

Aelicia

The Affiliation of Allied States

2

Many thanks go out to the nations who supported this event. They are listed below next to their favourite ass.

Assy McAssFace (Aelicia, The Affiliation of Allied States): Sharoxffl and Landform.

Bear Ass (The Bears, The Bear Country): Bitlia, Xarion, Bajor Prime, Arlum, Ursalia, Truxol, Megadeathia, Spanish Africa, Roosevetania, Zen Shia Federation, Democratic-ish, Norrisanada, Lesbian Piraters, Autsch, Infidel State, Ursulvania, Ace Pride, Exotic Lemon, Gyuamno, Untoreragarekinae, Valenceria, The Bears, Omniscientia, Ursaheim, Great East Prussia, Ramen And Noodles, Kenzoland, Picenis, Senpato, The Rolling Hills of Ever Expanding Land, Vault 391, Playball758, and PR Furlan.

Dingbat (Mount Seymour, Forest): Mount Seymour, Atsvea, Shidar, Froenburg, Vuoto Amore, Lord Dominator, Bee, Drasnia, Hoochlandia, Uan aa Boa, Demopolitania, The Aldurfens, Dest Oritio, Frieden-und Freudenland, Touhou, Bubblegum Soviets, Rybeck III, Montmorencia, Caracasus, and Chilledsville.

Get thee behind me (Almonaster Nuevo, Canada): Die All, Ubique, Maple Islands, Innuendo, Wild Mustanges, Richard, Almonaster del Norte, Parkplace, Almonaster du Canada, Stormaen, Craptastica, Almonaster, Devil Heart, Almonaster Nuevo, E1evenll, and Auq.

No Black Hawks! (A Dank Military, The Great Universe): The Universe World, Pasovo-nacoBo, and Rol Geo Dia.

Rolax (Kangaroo Hierarchy, Where the Wild Things Are): Yeffin, All Wild Things, Treehuggers, Port Starboard, Orzile, and Wild Pooh Corner Ambassador.

Screw Beaverton School District (New North Cascades, RGBN): Sikh federation, Sotzial, The NewsStand, Hospiria, Minor North West Ko, New North Cascades, Greater Cesnica, and The Horseland.

Stoned off His Ass Hippy (Orange Pomander, Hippy Haven): 45 R P M, Tiguana, St Stephen n Critters, Aethelia, Free RelaxNation, NovaTora, and Flomtana.

Uselessjunkandnuclearwaste.co.uk (Honeydewistania, Sikhi Empire): Aspernic, Indian Armed Forces, Honeydewistania, and Republic States of Killerpinkpanda.

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Roulette

Our casino ran from 13th to 19th June 2017. Twenty-one nations gathered to place their bets at our roulette table. The atmosphere could be cut with a knife as the wheel of fortune was spun. We waited with bated breath until that ball came to a stop. Red four!

Congratulations to Liberalus evilus, who walked out the casino nine hot $uppers richer!

Well done to The Universe World and A dank military who each won one hot $upper.

And commiserations to Haarmony, Honeydewistania, Bobcat28, The rolling hills of ever expanding land, Bapple senate, Pigus lantia, Xin-hua-hua, Kangaroo hierarchy, Landform, Dunno doh fart, Ha ha har, Geodesicdragon, Mount Seymour, Aethelia, Duh duh, Brol, New Armenian Union, and Hawaiian tropical melon, who all walked out with empty pockets. Better luck next time!

Our casino has since been licensed out to The Sands.

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Round the World in 80 Days

Our 'Round the World in 80 Days' prize goes to our short-lived resident, Marshian nation36.

Marshian nation36 is on a whirlwind tour of NationStates, putting Phileas Fogg to shame with their collection of visa stamps. We look forward to seeing them back here soon, where we'll catch up on their exploits over a hot supper. All the best with your travels - we wish you a safe journey!

Here is an extract from Marshian nation36's journal, dated 17th May 2017.

7 hours ago: Marshian nation36 relocated from Where the Wild Things Are to Storm Wolf Haven.
1 day ago: Marshian nation36 relocated from La Unified angeli to Where the Wild Things Are.
1 day ago: Marshian nation36 relocated from Where the Wild Things Are to La Unified angeli.
1 day 5 hours ago: Marshian nation36 relocated from The North East South Atlantic to Where the Wild Things Are.
2 days 1 hour ago: Marshian nation36 relocated from La Unified angeli to The North East South Atlantic.
3 days 7 hours ago: Marshian nation36 relocated from Thanksgiving to La Unified angeli.

Think you can you beat that? Please don't - we like having you here!

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World Cup - Russia 2018

Our bookies set up stalls outside nine Russian stadiums: Luzhniki Stadium, Spartak Stadium, Mordovia Arena, Nizhny Novgorod Stadium, Samara Arena, Kazan Arena, Kaliningrad Stadium, Ekaterinburg Arena, and Saint Petersburg Stadium

Well done Zoterik, our real winner who predicted lots of correct results. Bonus prize to The Universe World who only got two (I think) right. And lucky me, who bet against Brazil simply because no-one else was, and won!

Thanks to all who played, especially those who stayed with it right through the competition. I hope you enjoyed it! It's been great to watch your fortunes go up and down as the matches finished.

Paid books:

Group Stage:
Who will go through from Group A?
Who will go through from Group B?
Who will go through from Group C?
Who will go through from Group D?
Who will go through from Group E?
Who will go through from Group F?
Who will go through from Group G?
Who will go through from Group H?

Matchday One
🇷🇺 Russia 5-0 🇸🇦 Saudi Arabia
🇪🇬 Egypt 0-1 🇺🇾 Uruguay
🇲🇦 Morocco 0-1 🇮🇷 Iran
🇵🇹 Portugal 3-3 🇪🇸 Spain
🇫🇷 France 2-1 🇦🇺 Australia
🇦🇷 Argentina 1-1 🇮🇸 Iceland
🇵🇪 Peru 0-1 🇩🇰 Denmark
🇭🇷 Croatia 2-0 🇳🇬 Nigeria
🇨🇷 Costa Rica 0-1 🇷🇸 Serbia
🇩🇪 Germany 0-1 🇲🇽 Mexico
🇧🇷 Brazil 1-1 🇨🇭 Switzerland
🇸🇪 Sweden 1-0 🇰🇷 Korea Republic
🇧🇪 Belgium 3-0 🇵🇦 Panama
🇹🇳 Tunisia 1-2 🏴 England
🇨🇴 Colombia 1-2 🇯🇵 Japan
🇵🇱 Poland 1-2 🇸🇳 Senegal

Matchday Two
🇷🇺 Russia 3-1 🇪🇬 Egypt
🇵🇹 Portugal 1-0 🇲🇦 Morocco
🇺🇾 Uruguay 1-0 🇸🇦 Saudi Arabia
🇮🇷 Iran 0-1 🇪🇸 Spain - bets cancelled due to bookmaker error
🇩🇰 Denmark 1-1 🇦🇺 Australia
🇫🇷 France 1-0 🇵🇪 Peru
🇦🇷 Argentina 0-3 🇭🇷 Croatia
🇧🇷 Brazil 2-0 🇨🇷 Costa Rica
🇳🇬 Nigeria 2-0 🇮🇸 Iceland
🇷🇸 Serbia 1-2 🇨🇭 Switzerland
🇧🇪 Belgium 5-2 🇹🇳 Tunisia
🇰🇷 Korea Republic 1-2 🇲🇽 Mexico
🇩🇪 Germany 2-1 🇸🇪 Sweden
🏴 England 6-1 🇵🇦 Panama
🇯🇵 Japan 2-2 🇸🇳 Senegal
🇵🇱 Poland 0-3 🇨🇴 Colombia

Matchday Three
🇸🇦 Saudi Arabia 2-1 🇪🇬 Egypt
🇺🇾 Uruguay 3-0 🇷🇺 Russia
🇮🇷 Iran 1-1 🇵🇹 Portugal
🇪🇸 Spain 2-2 🇲🇦 Morocco
🇦🇺 Australia 0-2 🇵🇪 Peru
🇩🇰 Denmark 0-0 🇫🇷 France
🇳🇬 Nigeria 1-2 🇦🇷 Argentina
🇮🇸 Iceland 1-2 🇭🇷 Croatia
🇲🇽 Mexico 0-3 🇸🇪 Sweden
🇰🇷 Korea Republic 2-0 🇩🇪 Germany
🇨🇭 Switzerland 2-2 🇨🇷 Costa Rica
🇷🇸 Serbia 0-2 🇧🇷 Brazil
🇸🇳 Senegal 0-1 🇨🇴 Colombia - book wasn't opened
🇯🇵 Japan 0-1 🇵🇱 Poland - book wasn't opened
🏴 England 0-1 🇧🇪 Belgium - book wasn't opened
🇵🇦 Panama 1-2 🇹🇳 Tunisia - book wasn't opened

Round of Sixteen
🇫🇷 France 4-3 🇦🇷 Argentina
🇺🇾 Uruguay 2-1 🇵🇹 Portugal
🇪🇸 Spain 3-4 🇷🇺 Russia
🇭🇷 Croatia 3-2 🇩🇰 Denmark
🇧🇷 Brazil 2-0 🇲🇽 Mexico
🇧🇪 Belgium 3-2 🇯🇵 Japan
🇸🇪 Sweden 1-0 🇨🇭 Switzerland
🇨🇴 Colombia 3-4 🏴 England

Quarter Final
🇺🇾 Uruguay 0-2 🇫🇷 France
🇧🇷 Brazil 1-2 🇧🇪 Belgium
🇸🇪 Sweden 0-2 🏴 England
🇷🇺 Russia 3-4 🇭🇷 Croatia

Semi Final
🇫🇷 France 1-0 🇧🇪 Belgium
🇭🇷 Croatia 2-1 🏴 England

Play Off
🇧🇪 Belgium 2-0 🏴 England

Final
🇫🇷 France 4-2 🇭🇷 Croatia

Balances:

Nation

Rubles

All Wild Things

1606

Zoterik

1328

Aethelia

527

Rbbf

432

Lightford

431

The liamese empire

397

G-a

375

Cymiopolis

317

224

272

Blue Ice

230

Chingis

166

Glacikaldr

166

Lambdaland

162

Lihone

149

Please understand

145

Gelug

129

The Greater Nordics

129

Voljundok

114

Salviatotalia

100

Terre australes

64

Sanjikurisa

59

ROC Union

57

Bodhidharma

42

The Hanzanburg Union

42

Entwood

41

The Fer

33

Corprolia

33

Minoa

30

Hertisiana

20

The Grand Puffle Republic

5

Adryvia

-21

The Armed Republic of Dutch Coolness

-58

Empire of speedio

-60

Hooverus maximus

-63

Bexley

-100

E-I-E-I-DOH

-100

Eschayon

-100

Elladesia

-100

Empress Helena

-100

Kirgizhia

-100

Lashnakia

-100

New wikola

-100

Pakistani india bangalore and ceylon

-100

Rynese Empire

-100

Saint Thomas and Prince

-100

Slashdot

-100

South St Maarten

-100

St Saratoga

-100

The alex islands

-100

The Antarctic Empire

-100

The autonomous region of helsinki

-100

The Sands Casino

-100

Vooperias

-100

Wolflandil

-100

Yahlia

-100

Pend Oreille

-200

The Poland-Lithuania Commonwealth

-200

Equalibertyjustice

-239

Zombie Penguins

-245

Veleyria

-270

Fauxia

-368

Ijebu state

-443

Territorio di Nessuno

-603

Louis20

-1015

The Universe World

-1790


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The King of All Wild Things

Edited:

RawReport