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by 
The King of All Wild Things.
.
1,188 reads.
Wild Rumpus Book of Records
Welcome to the Wild Rumpus Book of Records, the official record book of Wild Rumpus games.
These are predicated on dedicated (and medicated) athletes, coming in their legions from all regions, from all stations in all nations, to raise their game to new heights of fame (and shame). The achievements of these benchmark-setters are duly recorded in letters, so that in future years we can recall their fears, their blood, sweat and tears, that brought out our awful jeers and awe-filled cheers.
You know your nation can compete at this level, so please send a representative to Where the Wild Things Are, and demonstrate your prowess on the RMB.
Can't post on the RMB? Send All Wild Things a telegram.
Please Up-Vote!
Shameless to ask I know, but please up-vote this dispatch. Up-voting raises the profile of the games and the Book of Records. A higher profile encourages more nations to take part, and then the whole thing will start to look a little less lame!
Contents
How Long Can You Hang From a Tree by Your Fingertips?
How Long Can You Hang From a Tree by Your Fingertips?
In honour of the original Wild Rumpus, where Wild Things swung from trees and howled at the moon, every nation is asked to try this event on their first visit to Where the Wild Things Are. Only the first attempt counts!
How to compete
The dice score shows your time in minutes. Post your score on the RMB!
The scores so far
Nation | Region | Date | Time (minutes) |
31 Mar 2018 | 12 | ||
31 Mar 2018 | 7:31 (11 really) | ||
19 Dec 2018 | 11 | ||
30 Apr 2017 | 10 | ||
22 May 2017 | 10 | ||
16 Jan 2018 | 10 | ||
29 Nov 2020 | 10 | ||
6 May 2017 | 9 | ||
20 May 2017 | 9 | ||
24 February 2018 | 9 | ||
Star Wars Day 2017 | 8 | ||
18 June 2017 | 8 | ||
6 December 2017 | 8 | ||
25 January 2018 | 8 | ||
26 January 2018 | 8 | ||
Wandering around NS | 20 September 2020 | 8 | |
12 March 2018 | 7 | ||
1 May 2017 | 6 | ||
Where the Wild Things Are (I suppose!) | 28 Sep 2017 | 6 | |
21 Jun 2018 | 5 | ||
26 May 2017 | 4 | ||
1 Dec 2020 | 4 | ||
11 June 2017 | 2:23 |
*TG player from non-embassy region
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Following a public consultation about sports promotion, the town of Roi became home to a new shiro styled Sumo stadium. In the space of a week, Roi-jo was built from flatpack by untrained Roi-tonians. Here, sumo wrestlers face each other in the dohyo (ring), with the aim of rising up the banzuke ranks.
How to compete
See the Inari Sumo guidelines.
The Banzuke so far
Banzuke | Name | Nation | Fought | Won | Win Ratio |
Sandanme | Hiromatsu | 4 | 2 | 50% | |
Jonidan | Totatari | 3 | 1 | 33% | |
Sandanme | Totoro | 3 | 2 | 67% |
Need News? Visit The NewsStand.
To celebrate the 2017 World Games in Wroclaw, we went orienteering. Unfortunately, nobody could find the starting point! (It was in Wroclaw 2017). Hopefully our next event will be more successful.
Need News? Visit The NewsStand.
Eleven nations accepted this year's invitation to sponsor donkeys in the Royal Ass Côte. Dignitaries from sixty-one nations arrived to show their support.
As always, commentary was provided by a leading sports journalist.
And the Royal Ass of 2020 is... Mother of Mojave! Congratulations to Hermes Express 123.
Donkey Name | Nation | Distance ran (furlongs) |
Dat Ass | 1 | |
Earthbound | 8 | |
Grand Galleass | 1 | |
Kamehameha | 16 | |
Maksim the Moscow Mule | 2 | |
Mother of the Mojave | 21 | |
Okey Donkey | 2 | |
Omega | 4 | |
Salad Ass | 5 | |
The Wild Behind | 1 |
Need News? Visit The NewsStand.
Eleven nations accepted this year's invitation to sponsor donkeys in the Royal Ass Côte. Dignitaries from eighty-five nations arrived to show their support.
As always, Commentary was provided by a leading sports journalist.
And the Royal Ass of 2019 is... Lazy Ass! Congratulations to Smiley Bob.
Donkey Name | Nation | Distance ran (furlongs) |
Ass eater | 5 | |
Gregory | 11 | |
I have a big butt, and I cannot lie | 12 | |
Kim Kardashian | 8 | |
Lazy Ass | 14 | |
Moonsplash | 2 | |
Novaturient | 1 | |
Short Muffins | 13 | |
so basically im donky | 10 | |
Wild Ass | 9 |
(Oops! It's June 2020, and I realised I missed posting the 2019 results here!)
Need News? Visit The NewsStand.
Eleven nations accepted this year's invitation to sponsor donkeys in the Royal Ass Côte. Dignitaries from an astounding one hundred and eighty-eight nations arrived to show their support.
As always, Commentary was provided by a leading sports journalist.
And Royal Ass of the 2018 is... Ruthien! Congratulations to Glacikaldr.
Donkey | Sponsor | Distance ran (furlongs) |
Ruthien | 62 | |
Snickerdoodle | 56 | |
My Wife Knows Everything | 18 | |
Eeyore | 14 | |
Hercules | 9 | |
Daunè | 7 | |
⧸S͈̬̖̝͍ͬ̊ͫ̆̎̕e̟̥̹̻̩͉͖ͮ͆̉̊̉c̱̳̣̰͂̐̽̏͒͒̓ṟ̻̝̍̅ͣ̅́e̵̯̤̤ͩ̄̌̊ͧ̀ͫt̆͒̏a̼͉͈̺̗͍̟ͧͫ̂ͩ͗̂r̲̐͑i̯͍̝̐̌ͣạ̱̃̆̽̚̚͝t̮̲͛ͪ⧸ | 7 | |
Mikael | 5 | |
Dan Quayle | 4 | |
Lorde | 3 | |
Red | 3 |
Many thanks go out to the nations who supported this event. They are listed below next to their favourite ass.
Dan Quayle (Terre Australes)
Mommabear, 
Danelaw Scandinavia, Terre australes, Im not against raider against fake fenda
Daunè (Lihone)
Ambelviser, Erbersia, 
Cansilica, Joushiki nante iranai, Shady middle man, Lihone, Neue geldborse
Eeyore (Sanjikurisa)
Morocco mole, 
Sanjurika, Please understand, The bears, 
Western Vapia, New haudenosaunee confederacy, Doggor, Jaxon, Severely suppressed serfs of salutations, Queens port, Cataclistal, 
Zombie Minion, Vooperias, Meralicia
Hercules (Earthbound immortal squad)
Earthbound immortal squad, 
Finmany, 
Gypsy Lands, 
Little St Nick, Deuchstland, Cindy lou who, 
Kamina and Simon, Havadar, The hundred acre wood
Lorde (Ijebu State)
Rejectionville, 
Crazybloxian Empire, Fortis draco islands
Mikael (Blue Ice)
Zaila, 
Blue Ice, 
Santo Lat, Tiny utopians, Hynx krivelte
My Wife Knows Everything (Please Understand)
Smiley Bob, United christian, New ducklands, 
Taralania, 
The Universe World, Democratic empire of romania, Pakistani india bangalore and ceylon, 
The Sands Casino, 
Aerilia, Downrightcirclesquare, Oldaman, Prussian polish commonwealth, El chupacabras, Freilibre, Divine skye, 
Making Catgirls Real, Stilia, Techpan
Red (RBBF)
Rbbf, Couch fort, Chadargul
Ruthien (Glacikaldr)
Drop Your Pants, 
Severisen, 
Xoriet, 
Waffia, Libetarian Republics, The grim reaper, Escade, Duckling squire, Pergamon, 
Canton Empire, 
Novaya Equestria, 
Zazumo, 
Larnion, 
Orange Creek, 
Imperium of Josh, 
Ienovo, Erinor, 
T-ara, 
Malphe, Marilyn manson freaks, 
Glacikaldr, Weastern libraria, The quakers, Sassoon, Westberg empire, Cormactopia prime, Alkasia, Xialta, 
Jar Wattinree, Fauxia, Invader unit 1, Altinsane, 
Socialist Communist States, 
Founder-Chan, Drazina, Chervil, 
Arkadia Universalis, Jodi samsinak, Black-eyed heathens, 
Wiranath, Kozmix, Otaran, Grossvietnam, Lorigia, Xzoardyyn, Alpha centauri ii-a, 
Feradia, Kostrorleauny, Liberarus, Latman, Green africa, 
Comia Noracon, The Air Force of South Asians 19, Protector eorum 9, Calalin, Margiboof, The nod corporation, Dogeius, Hydra Dragon, Monarchial law, The rainbow raider agenda, Genvatera
Secretariat (The Marsupial Illuminati)
Livensola, Auphelia, Pythagoras trousers, 
Canaltia, Empire of elysium, 
Midasia, United Amerikana
Snickerdoodle (Apple-Loosa
Frenequesta, The democratic nation of unovia, 
The Stalker, Altius, 
Tripartite Empire, The church of satan, The kingdom historia, Apple-loosa, 
Eastern Denmark, 
Canovia, 
Almira, Fractured minds, Emerses, 
Vando0sa, 
Gurkland, Ivesi, Australia minor, 
Bycrest, 
Duxverdale, Oglician, Illrian, 
Penguania and Antarctica, 
Ormenea, The fields of asphodel, Hardenburg, 
Princess Miyu, Carlos menem, 
Zombie Penguins, Artonin, Limpbizkit, 
Samudera, Wild pooh corner ambassador, 
Sanjikurisa, Mr manson, 
Wild Puppet, Seltzer boy, Turbeaux, 
Yodoshi, Of arian hellas, Aquias, 
Fahran, Transonlatria, 
The Hanzanburg Union, Clavonian empire, Greater Hindia, 
Beepee, Red foxia, Ekkab, Communistico, Devi vytherin, Noniala, 
Duechland, The operators order, Iahselene, Soswana, Sakhemi
Need News? Visit The NewsStand.
Nine nations accepted our invitation to sponsor donkeys in the Royal Ass Côte. Dignitaries from ninety-nine nations arrived to show their support.
Commentary was provided by a leading sports journalist.
And Royal Ass of the 2017 is...
Donkey Name | Nation | Region | Distance ran (furlongs) |
Bear Ass | 33 | ||
Dingbat | 20 | ||
Get thee behind me | 16 | ||
Screw Beaverton School District | 8 | ||
Stoned off His Ass Hippy | 7 | ||
Rolax | 6 | ||
Uselessjunkandnuclearwaste.co.uk | 4 | ||
No Black Hawks! | 3 | ||
Assy McAssFace | 2 |
Many thanks go out to the nations who supported this event. They are listed below next to their favourite ass.
Assy McAssFace (Aelicia, The Affiliation of Allied States): Sharoxffl and Landform.
Bear Ass (The Bears, The Bear Country): Bitlia, Xarion, Bajor Prime, Arlum, Ursalia, Truxol, Megadeathia, Spanish Africa, Roosevetania, Zen Shia Federation, Democratic-ish, Norrisanada, Lesbian Piraters, Autsch, Infidel State, Ursulvania, Ace Pride, Exotic Lemon, Gyuamno, Untoreragarekinae, Valenceria, The Bears, Omniscientia, Ursaheim, Great East Prussia, Ramen And Noodles, Kenzoland, Picenis, Senpato, The Rolling Hills of Ever Expanding Land, Vault 391, Playball758, and PR Furlan.
Dingbat (Mount Seymour, Forest): Mount Seymour, Atsvea, Shidar, Froenburg, Vuoto Amore, Lord Dominator, Bee, Drasnia, Hoochlandia, Uan aa Boa, Demopolitania, The Aldurfens, Dest Oritio, Frieden-und Freudenland, Touhou, Bubblegum Soviets, Rybeck III, Montmorencia, Caracasus, and Chilledsville.
Get thee behind me (Almonaster Nuevo, Canada): Die All, Ubique, Maple Islands, Innuendo, Wild Mustanges, Richard, Almonaster del Norte, Parkplace, Almonaster du Canada, Stormaen, Craptastica, Almonaster, Devil Heart, Almonaster Nuevo, E1evenll, and Auq.
No Black Hawks! (A Dank Military, The Great Universe): The Universe World, Pasovo-nacoBo, and Rol Geo Dia.
Rolax (Kangaroo Hierarchy, Where the Wild Things Are): Yeffin, All Wild Things, Treehuggers, Port Starboard, Orzile, and Wild Pooh Corner Ambassador.
Screw Beaverton School District (New North Cascades, RGBN): Sikh federation, Sotzial, The NewsStand, Hospiria, Minor North West Ko, New North Cascades, Greater Cesnica, and The Horseland.
Stoned off His Ass Hippy (Orange Pomander, Hippy Haven): 45 R P M, Tiguana, St Stephen n Critters, Aethelia, Free RelaxNation, NovaTora, and Flomtana.
Uselessjunkandnuclearwaste.co.uk (Honeydewistania, Sikhi Empire): Aspernic, Indian Armed Forces, Honeydewistania, and Republic States of Killerpinkpanda.
Need News? Visit The NewsStand.
Our casino ran from 13th to 19th June 2017. Twenty-one nations gathered to place their bets at our roulette table. The atmosphere could be cut with a knife as the wheel of fortune was spun. We waited with bated breath until that ball came to a stop. Red four!
Congratulations to Liberalus evilus, who walked out the casino nine hot $uppers richer!
Well done to The Universe World and A dank military who each won one hot $upper.
And commiserations to 
Haarmony, 
Honeydewistania, Bobcat28, The rolling hills of ever expanding land, Bapple senate, Pigus lantia, Xin-hua-hua, Kangaroo hierarchy, Landform, Dunno doh fart, Ha ha har, 
GeodesicDragon, 
Mount Seymour, 
Aethelia, Duh duh, Brol, New armenian union, and Hawaiian tropical melon, who all walked out with empty pockets. Better luck next time!
Our casino has since been licensed out to The Sands.
Need News? Visit The NewsStand.
Our 'Round the World in 80 Days' prize goes to our short-lived resident, Marshian nation36.
Marshian nation36 is on a whirlwind tour of NationStates, putting Phileas Fogg to shame with their collection of visa stamps. We look forward to seeing them back here soon, where we'll catch up on their exploits over a hot supper. All the best with your travels - we wish you a safe journey!
Here is an extract from Marshian nation36's journal, dated 17th May 2017.
7 hours ago: Marshian nation36 relocated from Where the Wild Things Are to Storm Wolf Haven.
1 day ago: Marshian nation36 relocated from La Unified angeli to Where the Wild Things Are.
1 day ago: Marshian nation36 relocated from Where the Wild Things Are to La Unified angeli.
1 day 5 hours ago: Marshian nation36 relocated from The North East South Atlantic to Where the Wild Things Are.
2 days 1 hour ago: Marshian nation36 relocated from La Unified angeli to The North East South Atlantic.
3 days 7 hours ago: Marshian nation36 relocated from Thanksgiving to La Unified angeli.
Think you can you beat that? Please don't - we like having you here!
Need News? Visit The NewsStand.
Our bookies set up stalls outside nine Russian stadiums: Luzhniki Stadium, Spartak Stadium, Mordovia Arena, Nizhny Novgorod Stadium, Samara Arena, Kazan Arena, Kaliningrad Stadium, Ekaterinburg Arena, and Saint Petersburg Stadium
Well done Zoterik, our real winner who predicted lots of correct results. Bonus prize to The Universe World who only got two (I think) right. And lucky me, who bet against Brazil simply because no-one else was, and won!
Thanks to all who played, especially those who stayed with it right through the competition. I hope you enjoyed it! It's been great to watch your fortunes go up and down as the matches finished.
Paid books:
Group Stage:
Who will go through from Group A?
Who will go through from Group B?
Who will go through from Group C?
Who will go through from Group D?
Who will go through from Group E?
Who will go through from Group F?
Who will go through from Group G?
Who will go through from Group H?
Matchday One
🇷🇺 Russia 5-0 🇸🇦 Saudi Arabia
🇪🇬 Egypt 0-1 🇺🇾 Uruguay
🇲🇦 Morocco 0-1 🇮🇷 Iran
🇵🇹 Portugal 3-3 🇪🇸 Spain
🇫🇷 France 2-1 🇦🇺 Australia
🇦🇷 Argentina 1-1 🇮🇸 Iceland
🇵🇪 Peru 0-1 🇩🇰 Denmark
🇭🇷 Croatia 2-0 🇳🇬 Nigeria
🇨🇷 Costa Rica 0-1 🇷🇸 Serbia
🇩🇪 Germany 0-1 🇲🇽 Mexico
🇧🇷 Brazil 1-1 🇨🇭 Switzerland
🇸🇪 Sweden 1-0 🇰🇷 Korea Republic
🇧🇪 Belgium 3-0 🇵🇦 Panama
🇹🇳 Tunisia 1-2 🏴 England
🇨🇴 Colombia 1-2 🇯🇵 Japan
🇵🇱 Poland 1-2 🇸🇳 Senegal
Matchday Two
🇷🇺 Russia 3-1 🇪🇬 Egypt
🇵🇹 Portugal 1-0 🇲🇦 Morocco
🇺🇾 Uruguay 1-0 🇸🇦 Saudi Arabia
🇮🇷 Iran 0-1 🇪🇸 Spain - bets cancelled due to bookmaker error
🇩🇰 Denmark 1-1 🇦🇺 Australia
🇫🇷 France 1-0 🇵🇪 Peru
🇦🇷 Argentina 0-3 🇭🇷 Croatia
🇧🇷 Brazil 2-0 🇨🇷 Costa Rica
🇳🇬 Nigeria 2-0 🇮🇸 Iceland
🇷🇸 Serbia 1-2 🇨🇭 Switzerland
🇧🇪 Belgium 5-2 🇹🇳 Tunisia
🇰🇷 Korea Republic 1-2 🇲🇽 Mexico
🇩🇪 Germany 2-1 🇸🇪 Sweden
🏴 England 6-1 🇵🇦 Panama
🇯🇵 Japan 2-2 🇸🇳 Senegal
🇵🇱 Poland 0-3 🇨🇴 Colombia
Matchday Three
🇸🇦 Saudi Arabia 2-1 🇪🇬 Egypt
🇺🇾 Uruguay 3-0 🇷🇺 Russia
🇮🇷 Iran 1-1 🇵🇹 Portugal
🇪🇸 Spain 2-2 🇲🇦 Morocco
🇦🇺 Australia 0-2 🇵🇪 Peru
🇩🇰 Denmark 0-0 🇫🇷 France
🇳🇬 Nigeria 1-2 🇦🇷 Argentina
🇮🇸 Iceland 1-2 🇭🇷 Croatia
🇲🇽 Mexico 0-3 🇸🇪 Sweden
🇰🇷 Korea Republic 2-0 🇩🇪 Germany
🇨🇭 Switzerland 2-2 🇨🇷 Costa Rica
🇷🇸 Serbia 0-2 🇧🇷 Brazil
🇸🇳 Senegal 0-1 🇨🇴 Colombia - book wasn't opened
🇯🇵 Japan 0-1 🇵🇱 Poland - book wasn't opened
🏴 England 0-1 🇧🇪 Belgium - book wasn't opened
🇵🇦 Panama 1-2 🇹🇳 Tunisia - book wasn't opened
Round of Sixteen
🇫🇷 France 4-3 🇦🇷 Argentina
🇺🇾 Uruguay 2-1 🇵🇹 Portugal
🇪🇸 Spain 3-4 🇷🇺 Russia
🇭🇷 Croatia 3-2 🇩🇰 Denmark
🇧🇷 Brazil 2-0 🇲🇽 Mexico
🇧🇪 Belgium 3-2 🇯🇵 Japan
🇸🇪 Sweden 1-0 🇨🇭 Switzerland
🇨🇴 Colombia 3-4 🏴 England
Quarter Final
🇺🇾 Uruguay 0-2 🇫🇷 France
🇧🇷 Brazil 1-2 🇧🇪 Belgium
🇸🇪 Sweden 0-2 🏴 England
🇷🇺 Russia 3-4 🇭🇷 Croatia
Semi Final
🇫🇷 France 1-0 🇧🇪 Belgium
🇭🇷 Croatia 2-1 🏴 England
Play Off
🇧🇪 Belgium 2-0 🏴 England
Balances:
Nation | Rubles |
1606 | |
1328 | |
527 | |
432 | |
431 | |
397 | |
375 | |
317 | |
272 | |
230 | |
166 | |
166 | |
162 | |
149 | |
145 | |
129 | |
129 | |
114 | |
100 | |
64 | |
59 | |
57 | |
42 | |
42 | |
41 | |
33 | |
33 | |
30 | |
20 | |
5 | |
-21 | |
-58 | |
-60 | |
-63 | |
-100 | |
-100 | |
-100 | |
-100 | |
-100 | |
-100 | |
-100 | |
-100 | |
-100 | |
-100 | |
-100 | |
-100 | |
-100 | |
-100 | |
-100 | |
-100 | |
-100 | |
-100 | |
-100 | |
-100 | |
-100 | |
-200 | |
-200 | |
-239 | |
-245 | |
-270 | |
-368 | |
-443 | |
-603 | |
-1015 | |
-1790 |
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