1. Drink a shot of vodka.
2. In a large bowl, mix together flour, salt, baking powder and sugar; set aside. Preheat waffle iron to desired temperature.
3. Cut the OCTOPUS into pieces. The size is up to you; however while frying, keep in mind that large chunks work better.
4. Drink a shot of vodka.
5. Heat a small amount of olive oil in a pan, with a larger amount of un-healthy regular oil and place it on a medium high heat.
6. Cook the octopus along with BACON to preference point; you may pour some vodka in the process.
7. In a separate bowl, beat the eggs. Stir in the milk, hazelnuts, crushed black-peppermint leafs, butter and vanilla. Pour the milk mixture into the flour mixture; beat until blended.
8. Drink another shot of vodka.
9. Ladle the batter into a preheated waffle iron. Cook the waffles until golden and crisp. Serve immediately.
10. Add a sticky bed of MARMITE and top with the octopus and bacon according to preference.
NOTES: Green-peppermint may also be used and you may drink brandy through the process if there is no vodka, but a capital ship of the glorious Rommandan navy may run out of fresh water but never vodka.