by Max Barry

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by The Magnificent Kingdom of Avaerilon. . 579 reads.

The Idiot's Guide to Avaerilon

Due to quite a large number of people making incorrect assumptions about Avaerilon (presumably because they either can't read or can't be bothered to read :P), this quick and easy little section should address these issues, providing a good, brief reference to use if you're unsure about the kind of place Avaerilon is.


    * We are in fact a kingdom, with a monarch as head of state. Although His Majesty is from the Royal Line of Avaerilon, we actually have an elected monarchy in-place.
    * We are in fact Fantasy-Tech AND Modern-Tech. So, expect magic alongside fighter jets.
    * We are primarily diplomatic and practical pacifist in our outlook.
    * We are an influential nation with some considerable diplomatic and economic clout. Not that all WA stats are accurate, but we are apparently the 70th most influential nation in NS...
    * We do have a practically unspoilt landscape, ranging from verdant oak woods, rolling hills and pleasant meads and meadows to snow-capped peaks, glaciers, volcanic wastes and tropical rainforest.
    * We do drink a lot of brandy, indeed, but not Armagnac; we've got our own regional versions, though they are very similar to Armagnac.
    * We do like to dress well; think an updated version of Regency and Victorian British dress for the men, and something a little more... liberal in terms of women's wear. And of course cloaks are very much in-vogue.
    * Yes, we are filthy rich, and currently have a massive budget surplus.
    * Avaerilon is a big country, in terms of landmass- just geographical Avaerilon alone is bigger than the EU.
    * We are largely a mix of Celts (Fereldics and Goidels, which are not too dissimilar to the Britons and Gaels respectively) and various kinds of Elf (Sylvan, Dunmer and Daelish), but our native population also includes Nords, largely in Solsteim.
    * Yes, our people rather do like swords, and many know how to use them.
    * Yes, we do produce tea, and enjoy it too, but we produce (and drink) far more coffee than tea.
    * Yes, we do produce a lot of very fine and excellent wines, comparable (location depending) with the wines of the Rhone, Burgundy, Bordeaux and Italy, for instance


    * We're not anything to do with Wales, short of the primary language also being a Celtic language (not Welsh, as someone familiar with languages will tell you) and around half the native population being Celts.
    * In fact, we're not even on Earth, or the same plane of existence.
    * Just because some of the fashion is based in the 1800s doesn't mean we have anything to do with the Regency or Victorian Britain.
    * We're not socialist; we're social-liberal, with a solvent market economy.
    * We're not Communist. Yes, some people are silly enough to assume that.
    * We're not dragons; the dragon is our symbol, and there are plenty of dragons in Avaerilon, but the population is mostly made up of humans and elves.
    * While we're on the subject, these are not the little elves of fairy tales, but the elves akin to LOTR and TES. More Galadriel than Mustard-seed.
    * And no, we're not only comprised of elves- didn't you see the part about the Celts?
    * We're not Medieval. Just because we have a longer history than some nations, and have preserved things rather well, doesn't mean we're stuck in the past. Mind you, don't expect to see any brutalist architecture anywhere.
    * We don't forgo having a military; some 358,906 personnel comprise our armed forces.
    * We're not hippies. Hippies are not usually well-dressed people that have a fondness for sports and GT cars.
    * We're not some old former imperial realm struggling to adapt to the modern era.
    * No, it isn't spelt 'averlion, aeverilon, averlon, avaelinilon' or anything like that. If you're not confident you'll actually spell it right, just CTRL+C the nation name.
    * We don't wear tartan (or kilts); that's a largely Scottish thing that got romanticised to hell.
    * Few people actually take drugs in Avaerilon, though we have more liberal laws than many, so we're not all drugged out of our minds.
    * We don't export things like crude oil, firearms or nuclear materials.
    * Our population is not several billion- currently it stands at just under 55 million people.
    * Our capital doesn't look anything like Edinburgh or Caerdydd. "Minas" not ringing any bells? Seriously? Have you not read Tolkien?!
    * No, we don't eat dragons, nor do we hunt them or export them.
    * Don't expect us to export dragon bones or scales, either. Dragons live... well, for a very long time, and I'm sure their kin wouldn't appreciate their remains being sold. While you do find armour made of that stuff, it's almost always extremely ancient.
    * For the last time, we don't have a silly 100% tax rate. Think of a sliding one based on income like any socially progressive place would have instead.

If you didn't assume anything in the latter section, you get a free bottle of brandy for being awesome.