Average days in MV&OR Countries (1991)

Note: Anerocern, Tahainea, Basement Attic and Ligmian Republics, Sernaxia, Third Capanese Republic, and First Capanese Republic didn’t exist in 1991. All except the latter were formed after 1993, with the latter ceasing to exist in 1986. However, they will have their own section at the end of this dispatch.

All of this was written by humans. No AI was used in the process of making this
Inspiration

The Astrocatish faith doesn’t recognize marriage so this is why there isn’t a “wife” but a “girlfriend”

Astrocatia
Character: Uthmæn

Your buzzer goes off. It is exactly 7 am. You stand up and make breakfast. You live in a Soviet-like brutalist panel apartment, 122 square meters, with 8 children, a pet cat, and a girlfriend who lives in the apartment building next to yours. By the time you’re in the kitchen, your children are already watching cartoons and playing pool. You make breakfast and eat the classic cheese sandwich. After breakfast, you get into your ŹyćkaśR 100 car and drive your kids to school, after that, you go to work. You work in the same factory as your father, as you live only 5 minutes from his apartment. While working, in the same industrial machinery, you notice him with his friends, you joke about politics and the current state of the world. One of your friends makes a joke that Astrocatia is a country where everything is reversed (the punchline is that in the 90s socialism was being replaced by capitalism, while Astrocatia chose to be even more socialist), you all laugh. At lunch, nothing changes from your grandfather’s lunch. When driving home, you buy carbonated lemonade, some cheese, meat, a carbon dioxide bottle, some mint powder, and a kebab wrap. You also stop at a Wzgæć and buy a copy of N.W.A’s album “Straight Outta Compton”, you heard everyone is listening to it and loving it. And Astrocatish rappers are sampling the album so much that there’s its own term for it. You pick up your kids from school and do some push-ups on your balcony. You also play pool. You make dinner, watch cartoons with your kids, and feed your cat. They all fall asleep. At 9 pm you drive to your best friend’s garden plot. He is hosting a night party there, with a swimming pool. It lasts 2 hours and you have a lot of fun. You return home at 11 pm. You are reminiscing about life, how much your country has changed and how much are you proud of it. You quietly sing the national anthem and fall asleep at 11:57 PM, 3 minutes before the Scary 0 wakes up.

Bobotsyi (Boboś)
Character: Hankki

You are woken by the guards at 4:00 am, as you live in a massive room shared with 18 other people. Your wife is separated, living outside your camp with your 2 children. You first salute portraits of the leader of your country, Uum, and wish him luck after he returned. You also stomp portraits of Vietnamese, a leader who restored normality for 9 years, before being overthrown by the Uulumnists. Deep inside, you like Vietnamese. But you are too afraid to say it, as if you say it, you will be immediately executed. Your workday starts at 6 am, guarded by security to ensure you don’t start a rebellion. You work at a farm, and all industrial machinery is banned. You work hard, very hard, in fact, you work harder than your grandfather did at the mine when cities were still legal. While working, your friends are taken away, never to be seen again. Lunch is at 2 pm, dried bread and dirty water. You continue working until 10 pm, when the workday ends. You get no pay, since money was abolished. After the workday, you have to go to the party meeting of your local town, if you don’t, you will be severely punished. You’re too tired to understand anything said there. At 1:30 AM, it is time to go to sleep, the guards check your belongings to ensure you have no Western literature or anti-government plans, after the check, at 2:00 AM, they go to their rooms. While you should sleep, as the government only allows 2 hours of sleep. You and your homies then in secrecy talk about the regime and how life was before Uum, and in the intermission between 1980 and 1989, when the Vietnamese ruled. You fall asleep at around 2:15 AM.

Brekevecya
Character: Teylækar

You wake up, the first thing you hear is your buzzer. It's 8:45 AM. You live in a concrete panel apartment similar to these in the Soviet Union. Your apartment is 68 square meters, 2 rooms with a massive kitchen merged with a living room. You have a wife and 2 children. After waking up, your wife makes breakfast, 2 bread slices with lettuce and cheese. At 9 am, you go to the factory, your car has broken down, so you unfortunately have to take the bus. You arrive by 10 am, you work in a steel mill. And work hard. Your workday ends at 4 pm with lunch, mashed potatoes with pork and beans served with compote. At lunch, you talk with your friends about the current state of the world, how Brekevecya is staying socialist, and discuss the new military partnerships with Astrocatia. Hopefully we’ll live like the Astrocats one day, says one of your friends, you nod. At 5 pm, you take the bus to your cooperative to buy groceries for the next week. The shelves are mostly empty, but there is some food. You buy the groceries and take them home. And go to your garden plot to relax after work. You return home at 7:30 pm, dinner’s ready. Bread with jam. After dinner, you relax by watching TV, first a cartoon with your kids and then some evening news. You fall asleep at 10 pm.

Brzydolka States
Character: Josséffef

You are hit with a baguette, that is the call you have to wake up. It's 5:45 am. You are a slave for a local countess. You live in an ugly gothic revivalist tenement in a room with 15 other people. With no bathroom. They were seen as out of style by a countess in the 19th century, so she ordered their destruction. Your routine is simple, suffer, suffer, and suffer even more. Your first job is to dress up the countess, who lives in a Maison-Bloc. An ugly gothic tenement with slaves like you living below her, and her living on the top floor in luxury conditions and a private dining room on the 4th floor. An army of 200 slaves, in chains, including you comes to her maison-bloc. You are punished for not coming in style, when all your clothes were dirty today. She orders you to dress her. You put on the dress she wants while her army of 17 dogs bite you. After dressing the countess up, you go to work on her farm. Because she is too lazy to do anything there, you work there every day from 8:40 am to 9:30 pm. Picking up plants and flowers. You are treated like a sub-human, constantly beaten, punished, and made fun of. While the countess throws balls in her maisonbloc. At 9:40 pm, your workday ends, and you have to go to the ball and pick someone to dance with. The dance lasts for 3 hours, during it, there is a slaves' fashion contest, in which you have to participate. After the stupid ball, you have to sing lullabies for the countess and tell her stories about knights and princesses, because the countess is such a crybaby. You return home at 3, and fall asleep minutes after.

Dzatupye
Character: RURHRJRURJ NISCZYMY PRALKI RERRRRRR Krew długopisu LICZ DO 100 Gupi Gupol

You are woken by Tung Tung Tung Sahur alarm. A security guard dressed as an anthropomorphic wooden log with a baseball bat hits you. You live in the Most Serene Republic of Dzatupye, the craziest nation on earth. You live in a small, cramped microapartment with 5 square meters in a collapsing, ugly minimalistic glass and wood apartment building. You used to have 3 children but the government confiscated them because it sees children as “not modern”. You get up and are instantly forced to do yoga for 3 hours straight. After that, you are forced to watch complete nonsense. You get to work by 12 pm, riding the bus because cars are seen as “not modern”. There, you work a job of sitting at a group table and making group projects about literally nothing. You return home at 5pm. To relax, you turn on TV. Just in time for the biggest show in Dzatupye, Daily Demolition, where a random building is selected every day to be destroyed. An apartment next to yours is gonna get destroyed. You switch the channel and land on a random channel with conspiracy theories and astrological omens. After watching these lies, you realize that it's time to buy groceries. So you go to the nearest store, which is an hour away, even though it's in the same city. You buy the groceries, Brawndo isotonics, Tung Tung Tung Sahur cereals, Tralalero Tralala candy, and 67 Labubu Skibidi Toilet cake. You return home by 10 pm. And fall asleep to a TV show about a guy being hit by random things. While falling asleep, you know that life in Dzatupye is literally the movie Idiocracy.

Forilda
Character: Merkilkem

You wake up, lying on a mat in the street. Next to you, your wife and a child. Because Forilda limits the maximum number of children to one. You live as a crook. Part of an oligarch-owned gang. You basically rob whoever you see, for the whole day. You do it because you do not have another option to survive, since you lost your job and you were evicted from your apartment. You are also armed in case another crook would like to steal your plundered assets. And that happens. While your wife is taking care of your kid. Another crook from a rival gang takes an AAA battery you robbed the other day. You grab your Glock and shoot him. He is severely wounded. But night is approaching, and you have to be careful. You are glad that you survived yet another day. Even though you know that when you starve and must rob to survive. The elites are partying hard. You close your eyes and fall asleep.

Fukuronia
Character: Meytfey

You are woken by the government-installed bell in your apartment at 6 am. A 40 square meter apartment in a 6-story building. You have a wife and a child. Breakfast is made by your wife; it's just a simple bread slice. Before you can go to work, you receive a mandatory bulletin about the BTJP. You know that the government is lying and that they are just Astrocats rescuing buildings from destruction. But you read it anyway, because you don’t really have a choice. After reading this false propaganda, you go to work. You work in an office, your job is long, tiring, and boring. And every 10 minutes your woke manager talks about her work-life balance or something like that. You don’t get lunch at work because you didn’t pay for lunch, which would cost you 75% of your monthly income per month. So you go home and decide to stock food for the next month. While shelves are full, everything is out of purchasing power for you. You settle on a single lettuce and some bread, and return home. You turn on the TV, and you hear racist propaganda and misinformation against the Frankish people, you turn the TV off and cuss lightly. For dinner, you get basic bread and vegetables. After dinner, you think about Fukuronia. You hate the government, but if you are vocal about it, you know you will be imprisoned. You also notice how a new 228 is being built next to you, which will be destroyed soon. You are hopeful that Astrocats will escape the forced relocation to it. And close your eyes.

Gogoja
Character: Erkić

The buzzer hits off at 6 am, it isn’t an electric beep, but an 8-bit instrumental of the Gogojan anthem. The tone lasts 15 seconds until you turn it off. You live in a panel apartment similar to those in the Soviet Union, with a wife and 4 children. You make yourself breakfast, simple and traditional beef stew. After breakfast, you take your suitcase and leave your apartment. But before you go, your wife wakes up, she warns you about major traffic, you thank her. You enter your KarinatorAT 360G, and start your car, which is on an Astrocatish license. What your wife said is true, there is a lot of traffic, but you manage to get past through it. You arrive at 7:45. You work in an office of a technological services company, that business has beem booming recently. You are a tester of BirdOS, a state-sponsored GUI operating system for computers, which are popping up more and more in homes, even in yours. You work until 3 PM, when you receive your pay and lunch. A dozen of meat dumplings. While eating, you talk about the company and how computers might be used in the future. After lunch, you drive home. You are tired, and your eyes hurt due to the constant looking at the screen. So you grab your deckchair, slide down the elevator and go with your kids to the playground. While they play, you lay down and think about what the future holds for your nation. After your kids play, you go to your cooperative, Todoiya. There you buy some horse milk and beef. You return home and make dinner, while eating dinner. Your children watch television. After you finish dinner, you switch the channel to news, some crazy dude was destroying things in a cooperative near the sea. After watching the news. You think about life, while you are anxious about the fall of the soviet bloc. You think that life would probably continue on as normal, as your country wasn’t particularly aligned with it. You close your eyes, and fall asleep.

Gogolia
Character: Haśeerhk

You wake up, its around 8 am. You live in a small yurt with 5 children and a wife. After waking up, you make breakfast, a beef stew with horse milk. After breakfast, you immediately go to your farm, next to your yurt. You milk the cows and horses, collect eggs, feed your pigs, while your cat eats rats. While collecting raspberries from the nearest raspberry bush. You run into a conflict with your neighbor, he says that the bush is his and he has the goddamn right to use it, you say its yours. Then your son runs to you and says that it is state-owned, due to Gogolia being socialist. So you pat him on the head and you and your neighbors shake hands and agree to divide the bush between yourselves. You have enough animal feed anyway. In the afternoon, a caravan arrives. You sell some of your goods after pasteurizing them. You continue working until dinner, some meat dumplings with cheese. After dinner, you take a moment to relax. While your kids go to the yurt in front of yours to watch TV. You are happy from your agricultural lifestyle, and you don’t need much else. You know that the nearest city is 46 km away, the nearest fire, police, and voting stations 22 km away, and the nearest hospital 15 km away. But you rarely need to go there. You fall asleep at 10pm. Confident that tommorow you’ll get even more goods.

Guugugaga
Character: Gerkoś

You open your eyes, its 9 am. You stand up, and dress yourself. You live in a 10 square meter microapartment, austerity pushed you to it. You had 4 children, but they were taken away by the government. You make yourself breakfast, which is just white goo, an unhealthy product from Dzatupye. But you couldn’t afford anything else. After breakfast, you drive your car. You are stopped by activists who say you should use public transport, they start hitting you with baseball bats. But you have a gun, and shoot them in self defense. You continue your commute to work while being chased by 30 police cars and a special car from the anti-dissent armed squadron. You manage to get to work. You work in an office job, as a sales clerk. But just in time for lunch, the police catches you. The trial ends with you imprisoned for 5 days, even though you didn’t kill anybody and you were acting in self-defense. You are thrown in a cell with 5 other people, but one of them makes a hole in the wall. He bribes the guards and you all escape. You walk home on foot, as your car is confiscated. You manage to get home, there, you fall asleep to watching TV, at around 9pm.

Hernedistan
Character: Jannukh

Your buzzer hits off. Its 7 am. You live in a 100 square meter apartment, sharing it with a wife and kids. After getting up, you make breakfast and wake your family. After breakfast. You take your kids to school, which is on the end of your block, you then come home to work. You work in a state-owned farm, next to your apartment building. You water the crops, mow the lawn, harvest grown crops, and repeat the same for the garden. You work until 4 pm. Where you go to a shop close to your apartment and buy meat for lunch. You eat lunch with your family, beef kotlet with potatoes. After lunch, you go outside and relax with your friends. Your younger son is playing soccer with his homies while your older son is drawing graffiti. You then make dinner, and relax by watching TV. After that, you take a bath, and you close your eyes.

Igusiogusland
Character: Todo Jokoś Ninoś

You wake up at 6 am. You brush your teeth with a Todo Max XX toothpaste and make breakfast, cereal. You have a wife and 9 children, and live in a newly built Todobloczek apartment, 68 square meters. Before starting the day at work, you play some video games. You go to work, you work at a state-owned agricultural field. Your job is to plant and take care of crops, and then sell them to poorer people and nationals. For lunch is meat with bananas, you eat it with your friends. While returning home, you go to the store, in 35 years, your children will be standing in front of these shelves buying a new phone, but you buy some classic igusian popcorn. After work, you play soccer with your friends and have a good time. You then go home and eat dinner. After dinner you listen to the radio, some rock songs and news about the Brzydolkan-Todusian war, with Todos capturing a Brzydolka town. At 11 pm, you close your eyes and fall asleep.

Ipaark
Character: Darudkhan

You wake up at 4:30 AM, an hour before dawn. You live in a 50s rowhouse built like the traditional ones. One single bedroom, and a floor for a living room another floor for a bathroom and storage. Overall, it has 78.66 square meters. You have 5 children. While you wake up, your wife is already in the kitchen cooking breakfast. She calls you to wake the kids and you do just that. Before you eat, the muezzin starts calling for prayer. You pull out your prayer carpet and position it in the direction of Mecca, praying with your whole family. After the prayer, you go eat breakfast and take a nap before leaving and going to work at 8:15 AM. Your kids will walk to school today so there isn’t a need to drop them off. You arrive at 9 AM, you work in a gun factory, exporting guns to allied countries such as Astrocatia, Igusiogusland and The Frankish Governorates. There is a break for prayer at noon. After the break, you return to work. Lunch is at 3 PM, mashed potatoes and steak. You eat it, and drive home. You return at 3:45 PM. Today your friends are coming over, but before that, you once again pray and wait for them to come. While waiting, you and your wife take care of your kids. You also make some moonshine for the party, and buy groceries for tommorow. Most of the shelves are already empty by now, but you still find steak and poultry. Your friends arrive at 9 PM. You have a great time playing card games and drinking beer. You also listen to American gangsta rap on a CD. The party ends at 11 PM, you turn on the TV and see that Ridolkassf and Ipaark are in border skirmishes, you are a bit worried. But you pray and go to sleep.

Khadishtan
Character: Kahraldash

You are woken right before dawn. The muezzin wakes you up for morning prayer. You wake your family, place a prayer mat, and pray in the direction of Mecca. You live in a 57 square meter apartment, with 2 wives and 4 children. You go make breakfast, some beef you bought in the cooperative recently. You watch TV while eating breakfast, the imam of your mosque you go to is on TV today. He is talking about the geopolitical state of the world and commending the socialist government of Khadishtan. You think to yourself that he said it well, as you support the Traditionalist Progressives-led socialist government. However, your second wife, a strong supporter of the Islamist Party rages into the living room and tells you that this imam betrayed god. You argue for a few minutes, before your first wife calms both of you down. You leave your apartment building, somewhat frustrated, but you think about what the Imam said. You work in a logistics company, transferring food from the crop-rich northern regions to major cities like the one you live nearby to. You drop off your kids to school in your civilian car, and then enter your Truck. A Kadisah Mecca 560, made on the license of the KarinatorAT 560M. You go in the truck, and drive 4 hours to get to the crop-rich regions. You arrive at 11:55 AM, And wait until your truck loads with fresh crops. While you wait, you realize its noon and take out your prayer mat, pointing it in the direction of Mecca. After the prayer, your truck fills up and you drive to your local cooperatives. They pay you for your work, your salary is 2300 Khadish Dinars, roughly 347.36 US Dollars. That is enough for you tho, as you can buy almost everything the stores offer. Not to mention you have a special discount for all products due to shipping goods to the cooperatives. You decide to buy some fish and rice. After that, you drive home and park your truck. It is by now late afternoon, so you enter your apartment, wash yourself. And go to your closest mosque to start praying. After that, you go home and watch TV to relax yourself. The TV is playing films, some dramas about families like yours, then soviet tv shows, and the news. The latter is your favorite show of all. And your whole family comes to watch it. It lasts from 6:15 PM to 6:45 PM, ending just in time for the sunset. After the news, you take your mat out and the whole family prays in the direction of Mecca. After the prayer, you and your family eat dinner, and after the children finish and start watching cartoons, you start talking about the news. Your first wife starts pessimisticly about the Eastern Bloc collapsing, worrying that Khadishtan might fall. Your second wife interrupts her and starts talking that the collapse of the Eastern Bloc is one of the best things that have happened, and that she is waiting for a Liberal Conservative - Islamic Party coalition. You interrupt her and tell her that the Liberal Conservatives are terrible, corrupt. And that the Traditional Progressives and the Pragmatic Radicals are the only option to not make Khadishtan a poor and corrupt dictatorship. The argument explodes into a war, that ends a few hours later. You wash yourself, pray, and go to sleep. Waiting for the muezzin to wake you up tommorow.

Liaszania
Character: Kujamah

You are woken up by the sound of your electric alarm clock. You stand up and go to your kitchen to make breakfast. You live in a 58 square meter 10-story panel apartment, with a wife and 2 children. After making breakfast, you wake your kids and your wife, the meal is eggs and horse cheese. After breakfast, you wash the dishes and go downstairs. You tie the horses on the communal farm next to your building to your carriage. A Thiyælkær Dilraba 789I with an artificial speeder, allowing for speeds exceeding normal horses. You get in, and start driving. You first drop off your kids and then drive to work. You work in business services, providing help and assistance for state-owned companies such as the National Road Company or ministries such as the Liaszanian Ministry of Tourism. Some of your friends use computers, which are new to Liaszania, since the Liaszanian Computer Corporation was created in 1980. But you don’t use them. You finish work with lunch at 4 PM, its meat dumplings with a serving of lemongrass, broccoli and horseradish. You drive home, while driving, some dude with a car decides to race with your carriage, you almost win, but he overtakes you at the last minute. Before arriving home, you also stop to buy groceries, you buy horse cheese, poultry, beef and peanut butter. After the shop, you arrive home. You untie your horses and put them in a farm where they can run freely. Then, you go upstairs and reach your apartment. You put the groceries into the fridge and decide to relax. Grabbing a saddle and just riding your horse across the neighborhood. You return to your building, eat dinner, and go to sleep at 10:30 PM.

Mumunia
Character: Mumusahur

You are woken by an electric buzzer at 7:45 AM. You turn it off, and grab your stick. You live in a 20-story tower, in a 90 square meter apartment, you have a wife and 3 children. At 8 AM, all of your family is up for the national anthem, played by the radio-node loudspeaker installed in the living room. You stand with your sticks and hit a punching bag with it. After that, you and your wife start making breakfast, and your kids loudly play the game of Tung Tung Tung Sahur. One of them pretends to be Tung Tung Tung Sahur, a legendary and possibly real figure from antiquity who was the first king of all Mumus, and the other pretend to be his enemies. Just in time for their game to end, breakfast is ready. Fish sticks and chocolate in a stick form. You eat it with your family. After that, you leave your apartment, drop off your kids, and drive to work in your newly bought MumuAT 160 car. You arrive there in 15 minutes. Your job is to produce wooden chairs, which will be sold to nearby countries like Pyatroliania, Dzatupye, or Trakyatania. Since you work on an assembly line, you don’t do much other than just installing things every 3 seconds. The workday ends with 3000 Sahur Banquets, about 1511.38 US Dollars, and a voucher for a new, state-provided vacuum cleaner. Before you go home, you and your mates eat lunch. Chocolate sticks, broccoli, and a loaf of bread. You drive home and return at 3 PM, you’re tired, so you decide to watch TV. Some new company has been nationalized and the government signed an arms deal with Astrocatia and Ipaark. After that, you go to your garden plot, nearby from the building you live in. You take a stick, and start balancing on it, some girl is impressed by you, but you tell her you’re married. Its late now and the sun is almost setting, you go to your cooperative, looking for fish sticks and chocolate sticks. The latter is now outsold and will be tommorow, but you manage to find the last fish sticks, you buy it and go home. Instead of dinner, you all salute to a drawing of Tung Tung Tung Sahur, and tell yourself stories about Mumu and sticks. Its now 10 PM. Your children watch cartoons, your wife reads a book, and you wash yourself, and go to sleep.

Nainthi
Character: Jaremir

You are woken by your electric buzzer at 6 AM, you get up, put your clothes on. And start playing some punk rock music in your room quietly. You live in a 120 square meter high-rise panel apartment, similar like these in Yugoslavia, with 5 children and a girlfriend who prefers living alone. After having a good time, you make breakfast, which is a slice of bread with tuna on it. You also wake your kids for it. After breakfast, you check the paper issued by your industrial cooperative, it says that the cooperative is doing well, but it needs to do better. With optimism, you drive to work. Since your eldest son will take your kids to school. You arrive there at 7. And start working hard, assembling the newly-globalized machine called the “Personal Computer”. You put the processors in the case on the assembly line. You work that shift from 7 AM to 11 AM. Then working another shift where you check if the computer is working properly from 11 AM until the end of the workday. You return at 3:30 PM, eating lunch at home. Some classic pork chops and cheese with your family. You go to your bedroom and relax for a while, before turning on your computer you received from your own factory. You write a program for it for fun, a simple drawing app. At 5, your neighbors come in. You are good friends with them, as they were your homies in high school. They start telling you about their vacation in Astrocatia, how technologically advanced it is and how it all feels too good to be true, and yet, it is true. You nod, since you know the experience being there on vacation last year. It is now 8 PM, you go to your cooperative to buy groceries for tommorow. There isn’t much left by now, but you buy a turkey and some cheese. You stop at a foreign products export store, hoping for more groceries. But you mostly just see empty shelves, since everything has been bought out by now. You return to your apartment, place the food in the fridge. And shortly after, go to sleep at 10

Novotecya
Character: Kamuturhini

You open your eyes, the first thing you hear is your electric buzzer waking you up at 7 AM. You get up, and go downstairs. You live in a 2-story apartment in a 6-story building, 96.4 square meters, you have a wife and 2 kids. You eat your breakfast, which is oatmeal on water. You then waste no time, grab your suitcase and go to work. While exiting your building, you see your neighbors’ car. A Polish Fiat 126p he got from his brother, who works in Poland. You don’t have a car, so you are a bit jealous. But you promised to your family that when you earn enough money. You’ll buy a Tecan 5500. You have no choice but to take the trolleybus, almost missing it. You arrive at work at 8:30 AM. You work in a communal services company, you schedule the time for garbage trucks to arrive, and control water and electricity supply of the whole city. Working until 4:45 PM. After work, you eat lunch at work, its fish sticks, broccoli and rice. You go back home to your apartment, you see your kids playing on the staircase, you tell them to come home. At home, you relax by watching TV. You got expanded satellite TV after 2 years of hard work. But you also remind yourself that you need to buy groceries today. So you go to your local cooperative, you see mostly empty shelves. But you manage to find a chocolate bar, potatoes, rice. You pay, and go back home. It is now the evening, your wife makes dinner from the ingredients you bought today. After dinner, you read a book about Astrocatia. You’re a little bit jealous of them, but you know they have the highest standards of life in the whole world. And when you read book, it turns out that life in your country is good. While it isn’t the same as Astrocatia, it is way better than in some countries. With this thought, you fall asleep

Okran Republic/Sepedistan
Character: Igaturg

You are woken at 3:45 AM by a radio-node speaker calling you for a prayer to the illuminatis. You hear the High Priest of Goetha calling like a muezzin and then doing a high-pitched sound resembling “Oooooaa Aaaiiiii”. You barely stay alive during the prayer, because it is so terrifying to you. You live in a small studio apartment in the eastern district of Goetha. 14 square meters, and a bathroom that isn’t even enclosed. You have a pregnant wife. The prayer ends at 7:30 AM. You are tired and hungry, so you search your fridge for food. There is only a small loaf left from the monthly ration. You share it with your wife and eat it. After breakfast, it is time to go to the nearest illuminati church. You work there as a servant to the leader of the church, the same dude you heard shouting today. He is mad at you that you aren’t dressed well, even though you had nothing else to put on. He orders 10 lashes for you, which hurt very much. After the punishments. You receive a job, if you manage to repair 32 illuminati symbols that were broken last night. You will receive a full month worth of food and might even earn a promotion. You do as the priest orders, fixing all of the illuminati symbols. Its now 3 PM and you’re tired of work, you earn your prize, a coupon for a full month of food. You redeem it at the church bakery, but it turns out it only works for a day. And you will have to work 130 years to get your promise. You cuss quietly while eating a part of the food that you got. After that, you return home and come with the rest, and put it in the fridge. You have literally nothing to do, and the government has banned going outside without a specific reason. So you just start talking to your wife, about life. Fortunately, the government has banned most technology except surveillance cameras. But they aren’t installed in your home. So you both quietly diss and criticize the government. Its now 8:30 PM. The radio-node turns on again, with the priest calling for prayer again. A TV also turns on, the priest starts calling for the destruction of countries like Astrocatia, who are “Hiding from the illuminati”. The radio node turns off at 11:45 PM, and you fall asleep.

Pyatroliania
Character: Tredorik

You wake up at 4:30 AM in a slum, you hear a rooster wake you up. You live in a collapsing wooden house in the slum near Psiadenburg. It has 14 square meters, and 7 of it is taken by livestock. You have a wife and a child. You go make breakfast, milking the cows and grabbing eggs from the chickens. You have to share it with your family. After breakfast, you exit your home, and go to the farm on the other end of the slum, where you work. You take your son with you, school is too expensive to afford, so he helps you at the farm. You work at the farm. For the past year, harvests have been poor and the prices of grain so low that even garbage is more expensive. All due to an economic crisis lasting since 1967. At noon, your wife brings you lunch, 3 eggs and contaminated water from the well. After work, you sell what you harvested in the center of the slum, which at this time is overcrowded with almost everyone. After selling the grain. You see your father, who is also your neighbor. He tells you about times when Pyatroliania was rich and prosperous, and everyone had it good. But it was all ruined by king Ograa IV, he compares him to the devil. You don’t really know who he is, but you nod. After the conversation, your wife asks you to go to a cooperative store for necessities. You go there, but everything is out of your purchasing power, if the shelves aren’t empty. You walk back home. Its now the evening by now. Your father invites you to listen to the radio. Today’s broadcasts inform you about the actions of the government. After that, there is some music played. You fall asleep in your house at 11 PM.

Ridolkassfia
Character: Lasepemi

You are woken by a loud bell at 8 AM. They were installed since the fascist dictatorship led by the Liberal Progressive Party took office in the 1953 coup. You live in a deteriorating and ugly tenement built in 1957, with a wife. The apartment has 9 square meters. You had 3 children, but they were taken away from you. You take out bread from the fridge. Its moldy, but you have nothing else to eat. You share a single loaf with your wife. You know that while you eat moldy bread, the rich are partying and eating. You are unemployed, because you got too supportive of the Samarian minority. So you got fired and imprisoned, before being released after serving 3 years. At 8:35 AM, a radio node turns on, from it. A woman shouts insults at Ipaark and the Samarian population, which constitute the majority of them. It is like this everyday, and everyday you hear about Ridolkassfian troops being even closer to invading Ipaark. You do not understand why they hate the Samarians so much, but you remember your neighbor telling you its because the ruling class wants you to distract people. He was executed recently. You miss him, but you cannot show remorse. You spend the rest of the morning laying down, because you have nothing to do. Your wife falls asleep, you want to fall asleep too, but you are tempted to see how much money you have left. It turns out you only have 513 Nocturnes, barely 100 dollars. You decide to go to the shop and buy some food. The only thing you can afford is moldy bread, similar to the one you ate today for breakfast. You spend 50 nocturnes on it and go back home. You also take some water from the local well, its contaminated with bacteria, but you have no other choice. You return home at 2 PM. Your wife is sick and laying in bed, it turns out she has pneumonia. To entertain her, you play her a Dzatupyean ripoff of the movie “National Lampoon’s Vacation” you got for free on a dvd player you got from your cousin. Who managed to escape Ridolkassf before it was too late and find work in Brekevecya. The movie is only the scene where the Vista Cruiser car is crushed for 10 hours. It is boring, but you really have nothing else to do. Its now night, but you don’t go to sleep yet, you need to make a living by robbing a wealthy person who is going to come through your town today, because you have no other choice but to rob. You and your street gang manage to get him and steal a bag of money. While staying anonymous. At 1 AM, you fall asleep, hoping that one day you will get a normal job and won’t be forced to rob.

Second Capanese Republic (Capan)
Character: Taardnykmarjkopat

You are woken by a radio-node at 4:45 AM. It first plays the Capanese national anthem, then a propaganda broadcast about the success of the plan to rebuild Capan by the authoritarian government. You then wake up. At 5 AM, rations arrive to your home. You and your family rationed a can of Tuna. You live in a 56 square meter single-family home made out of wood in the west of the country. With a wife and 7 children. You eat breakfast and you start your workday. You work as a soldier for the army, your job is to supress the Anarchist Popular Return Army, a paramilitary wanting the old government of Capan to return. You battle them in a nearby town, after a long battle, you manage to defeat them. Your military shift ends at 4 PM, but it isn’t enough. So you also work a job as a newspaper delivery man. You return home at 8 PM, tired. You receive your rationed bread for dinner, and eat it with your family. Before you fall asleep you think to yourself about the old times. When you were a child, Capan was ruled by an Anarchist government which basically allowed everything and only represented the country diplomatically. You remember these times as full of crime and hard to survive. On the other hand, today, you are ruled by an authoritarian government which suppresses all dissent. At least there is some order, but you are still poor. You fall asleep at 9:30 PM.

The Frankish Governorates/Frankia
Character: Frank Arthur

Your buzzer kicks off at 5 AM. You get up, grab your water bottle and go to the balcony. The first thing you do is exercise, lifting weights and grinding. You live in a 60 square meter Tyrhetka panel apartment, strongly inspired by those built in Astrocatia. It more resembles a 1990s Polish apartment than a 1920s modernist apartment though. You live in Frankia with a wife and 2 children. Its now 6 am, you stay at the balcony because that’s where the kitchen is. And make breakfast, well-done steak with broccoli and cheese. You wake your family for it. While you eat, you and your wife talk about the imminent collapse of the Soviet Union and what it means for Frankia. You leave your home at 6:30 AM, and enter your Cæśuśśilniya 600L car. You worked very hard for it. You drive to work, you are employed in a vehicle factory. Which produces tanks, cranes, jet engines and also newly-invented GPS devices for cars like yours. You work hard, hitting screws with hammers every time the assembly line gives you the next machine to assemble. Your friends joke that you work like an Astrocat, you laugh (backbone: Astrocatia’s unofficial nickname is the “Hammers and Cheese Nation”, and almost all Astrocats love hammers, the country also has very high autism diagnosis rates, and hammers are a common hyperfixation among Astrocatish children with autism). Your workday ends at 4 PM, with lunch. You and your homies joke about stuff while eating lunch, pork chops with mashed potatoes and beans. After work, you decide to relax on your garden plot, you worked very hard today. So you just lay down and observe the sun. You return home shortly afterwards, before returning home, you also stopped to buy groceries. The shelves were full, and you bought meat and vegetables for tommorow. Additionally, you stopped at the foreign exports store and bought a kilogram of Astrocatish Cziz cheese. Its now evening, you decide to watch TV, you first watch foreign shows you bought on cassettes, and then turn on today’s news. The stories are similar to yesterday, some Fukuronian minister has offended Frankia and Astrocatia has condemned Fukuronia. At 8 PM, you and your family eat dinner together. Your son says that he wants to be a soldier and show the Fukuronians once and for all who rules. You tap his shoulder out of pride. Meanwhile your daughter tells you that she wants to be a medic, you point your thumb up. After that, you go to sleep at 9 PM.

Todocast
Character: Todo Kokośæthman Nikuś

Your electric alarm kicks off at 7 AM. You get up, and start work. You live in a wooden prefab hut on the Todyrka atoll, 90 square meters. You share it with your wife and 4 children. You go make breakfast, which is fresh coconuts you grabbed from the tree a few days ago. You eat it, drop off your kids to school, and go to work. You work in a state-owned boat rental service, as there are a lot of tourists coming into the country. Both on the islands and in the atolls. You mostly just sit around, wait for someone to come in, and finish the rental. You mostly interact with Astrocats, Todos, Franks and Noobs, as they are the primary tourists in Todocast. Your shift ends at 3 PM, by that time. You decide to go to your cooperative. You drive to the district with new, soviet-style prefabs and stop at the Dream cooperative. You try to find something from the foreign imports section, but everything has been sold out by now. So you buy coconut water, and leaves. You return home at 4:30 PM, and spend the next hour looking for Coconuts. You return home just in time for lunch, at 5:30 PM. At lunch, you tell your family about the people you’ve met today. After lunch, you decide to relax with your whole family. Luckily, you practically live on a beach. So you grab your swimsuits and just start swimming. After the swim, its now 8:30 PM, the sun is setting. So you grab your stuff, and decide to watch some television. The program is today’s news. The hotel on your atoll has earned a record number of guests and so have all the other atolls and islands. While Soviet Union is collapsing, your country thrives like never before. When your Great Grandfather grew up, Todocast didn’t have that much visitors, and was mostly just a colony by Astrocats and Todos. You are proud of your country, and how it went from yet another pacific nation to one of the biggest tourist hubs. Your children decide to watch cartoons on cassettes, and your wife promises takes care of them. Because you promised your brother that you’ll visit him today. You arrive in his apartment, and talk about Todocast, and what the future holds for your nation, while having a good time. You return home at 11:30 PM, and quickly fall asleep.

Trakyatania
Character: Kuba

Your electric alarm kicks off. Its 8:30 AM, you get up and put your clothes on. You live in a suburban house located in the north of the country, 4 floors, each 45 square meters, you bought it on a mortgage loan. You also have a pregnant wife. You waste no time, cooking some eggs for breakfast and devouring them. After that, you get in your car and drive to work. You work in a film studio, producing films and television shows. Today, a script is required for a new episode of the popular tv show “Cæwulty Ųamaabuh”, about a dude living in a soviet-like residential district in Ŵąųtamufh surving different moments and situations. At first, you struggle to think of anything, but then you think about anything, but then you remind yourself about school and teachers. You write a script that the main character’s biology teacher, who was very mean to him when he grew up sturms his apartment. Fighting between each other. You finish the script and grab today’s lunch from a tray. A giant chicken nugget. You eat it, and then drive back home. Before you can rest, you have to water the plants in your garden, as they are failing. You also go to the grocery store, most shelves are full today, so you buy eggs, meat and lettuce. You do that and sit down to watch the news with your wife, some crazy dude has decided to spit on the workers in the historical water district of Ųrathemēnn, the capital of Trakyatania. And Pyatroliania has once again called for sanctions against your country. You remember from a recent meeting with your father, that when he grew up, Pyatroliania and Trakyatania were good friends, but king Ograa IV of Pyatroliania destroyed everything. You turn off the TV and make dinner. After dinner, you go upstairs and just lay down, until you fall asleep at 11 PM.

Tubaka Confederation
Character: Greælthil

You wake up, a local rooster from your neighbor wakes you. You live in a wooden hut, 37.54 square meters, with a wife and 8 children. You go outside and make breakfast, there are no stores. So you grab some berries from the forest, meat you put in the newly-arrived fridge outside your hut, and start crafting a meal. After breakfast, your kids go to school, you take them there, because the forest is dangerous. You return to your home and start working on your farm, it is de facto state-owned. But you work on it, and that’s all that matters. You spend most of the day milking the cows and collecting harvests. Ending at sunset, you sell some of your harvest to your neighbor, who is a state worker, he sells the goods from farmers like you to Astrocatia. Your neighbor tells you that tommorow will be a council meeting, you nod and say that you’ll come. After work, you return home to make dinner. Your kids are watching some box called “Television”, the state gave it to you a few years ago for being a good worker. Some old Astrocatish cartoons about 2 brothers are running on the TV. After dinner, your kids fall asleep. You decide to check out the TV, a quick news bulletin tells you that Tubakan crops are doing well and that water is mostly safe. After that a documentary about Astrocatia, you are in shock when you see Astrocatia. Instead of seeing a forest and a hut, you see massive concrete towers, box machines through the streets, and concrete warehouses. Instead of being jealous, you are mainly suprised. But you think about life, and come to the conclusion that your agrarian, simple life is enough. You fall asleep, being happy that the crops are good and schools are open.

Ukleya
Character: Hubærtææćkærthmænth

Your buzzer goes off. It is exactly 8:30 am. You stand up and make breakfast, a cheese sandwich. You live in a Soviet-like brutalist panel apartment, 93 square meters, with 5 children, a pet cat, and a girlfriend who lives in the apartment building next to yours. By the time you’re in the kitchen, your children are already watching cartoons. After breakfast, you get into your Kotećæk 565 car and drive your kids to school, after that, you go to work. You work in a trout farming plant, you mostly just do nothing, just check if the trout collection machines work, and if the delivery system to the processing plant looks. So you just lay down and relax, since you’re near a lake, you go for a swim. At lunch, nothing changes from your grandfather’s lunch, its trout, tuna, with compote. When driving home, you buy carbonated lemonade, some cheese, meat, a carbon dioxide bottle, some mint powder, and a kebab wrap. You also stop at a Ukwægæć and buy a copy of N.W.A’s album “Straight Outta Compton”, You pick up your kids from school and do some push-ups on your balcony. You make dinner, watch cartoons with your kids, and feed your cat. They all fall asleep. At 9 pm you drive to your best friend’s garden plot. He is hosting a night party there, with a swimming pool. It lasts 2 hours and you have a lot of fun. You return home at 11 pm. You are reminiscing about life, how much your country has changed and how much are you proud of it. You quietly sing the national anthem and fall asleep at 11:38 PM.

Urinalia
Character: Rnąszekłeksuis

You are woken by an alarm, some angry Nosniy soccer fan tries to break into your apartment. You grab a baseball bat and defend your home. You live in a panel apartment, 48 square meters. You also have a wife and 2 children. You grab 3 tuna cans from your mailbox, one for breakfast, one for lunch, and one for dinner. Its too dangerous to leave your apartment, because of all the soccer fans fighting each other. You eat the first tuna can. It’s enough for your family, but its because you got used to it. After breakfast, you get to homeschooling your kids, explaining grammar rules, math concepts, animals and history to them. You end at 2 PM. You decide to go out on the balcony to get some fresh air. All you see is dead bodies, used weapons, and yellow or purple paint everywhere, all because some Nosniy player decided to physically attack a Sensei player in 1987. Like almost everyone else, you fully support Sensei, which is backed by the government, since its the Nosniy fans that took over the Laisuis and Itnililnip islands. However, you don’t want to join the Sensei fans, because you have a family to take care of. You’re bored and decide to watch TV. You watch programs until lunch, at 3 PM. After that, you decide to view an photo album, you see normal life, you playing soccer with other kids, running around, visiting your grandma, having a normal childhood. You’re a bit sad your kids can’t have the same life, but you digress, hoping that the war will end soon. You eat dinner, and go to sleep.

Zurahandia
Character: Kěristan

Your buzzer wakes you at 9 AM. You live in a 50s apartment similar to a soviet Khrushchevka apartment, 35 square meters. You have a wife and a child. You make breakfast, some ham. Because that was the only thing available. After that, you go downstairs, you want to drive by your car. But its broken, it has been that way for 2 weeks straight, and although you were promised quick help, nobody came. Frustrated, you take the bus. You work at a state-owned film studio, as an actor for a major TV series about a neighborhood full of milk, starring the role of a milkman. You cast pretty well, and end the day with some lunch. Your friends are annoyed at the government, which is doing practically nothing to stop the food and jobs shortages. After work, you return home. You try to scour the store for any product, but you don’t find anything. You return home late, and make dinner, just some lettuce and ham. After that, you turn on the news. The broadcast says that shelves are full of food and the economy is flourishing, you know this is a lie. And you turn off the TV, for the rest of the day, you just lay down and talk to your family, hoping for the better. You fall asleep at 10:45 PM, frustrated and angry.