17
Dispatch → Bulletin → News
by 
The Holy Empire of Kay Pacha.
.
143 reads.
Next Week in the World Assembly: Sept. 30th, 2024
Town of Ridgefield ⌂
To:Leader
From:Office of the World Assembly Ambassador of Ridgefield
CC:Thmobosia Betmet Turpir Hoes DiRito-Opolis Happiness- The Ysion Die Riech Crionadh Baptistae The Byrdlands W1nky United Hungry Kongindia Aurelia Belka South Poopistan Castellovania Salvador Rebels Slovakastan Norlamstoc Reichengrad United Federation of Arctur Ubangaram Gunkee Phoeniciaa TesGay Hihihihihiiiii Haymarket Riot Iblis Woodwinx Pangzalia Nekotan Elugria Echothesis Eire Cill Dara Sidika Landchadia United people of common sense Saint Spartacus Soviet Some Retilect Mist Haven HuaweiTelecom Wabbitss Zenitheia Alazararia Pepperjack The chiropteran feast MeowMrrpNya Komtenia Linwa Solflavo Sussanistia Baltic Seastate Slavonya Frankenstan Girthland NYC but worse Magdala Nunnaya Qusanistan Far Marchen Eclitropica Trotskylandia Gnor Megthalidia Sangal Syldis Estados Unidos de Taiwan Kay Pacha Huloima Tillikum Duchy of Greater Pomerania Sharkhandadinsstan Lanias Sigma town Greater karshland Harperwilde CANERIO Lana2 Gremmelshe Dominion of Transantarctica Malacrea Celtic Commonwealths HMNZSSR Ritolandia Sapphica Sororitas Viperi Trulalu Tlaxtl Pomerus Silima Nezali
Date:Monday, September 30th, 2024
the wasteland to which
GA342 was banished,
never to be seen again.
In Queue
Civilian Air Compact
It's a blue moon over the General Assembly, and this week we will have the exciting privilege of putting all 18,145 of our absolutely massive brains together to determine what will become of the final chapters in two thrilling resolve-repeal-replace trilogies. And if you thought the General Assembly was already exciting, buckle those seatbelts and place your tray tables in the upright position, because this airline safety discourse is so hot the bathroom smoke detectors might’ve been tampered with.
Imagine a resolution: a good resolution; decent length and quality of writing for its time. It sets out to accomplish something, and it goes and does just that; track civilian airplanes, give them weather reports, and don’t blow them out of the sky. Awesome, the world was improved one resolution at a time for sure. Now, here’s an idea: repeal it for absolutely no reason. Wonderful! Someone’s gotta argue for deregulation in this liberal and liberal-in-denial political ecosystem. Despite how tragic it was to see such a good piece of legislation go to waste, it’s alright because at least both ends of the 1-2 could have a political justification. But hear me out one last time: let’s replace it with the first resolution, but worse.
Allow me to lay out the revolutionary geopolitical format of the 2020s for you: the catalog is parsed for a good, normal, sufficient resolution who suffers from being written in the unattractive pre-GenSec style → a sophist without an honest bone in their body repeals it using flimsy, flummoxing argumentation so it can bump up the GA badge number that nobody will ever check → this august body replaces it with a convoluted mess of text lengthening definitions and redundant stylizations that makes itself seem like the author knows what they’re talking about because it’s longer than the original.
After absolutely mashing that scroll bar with definitions that would never need to be provided in any other era of GA nonsense, the Civilian Air Compact dishes out regulations for civilian aircraft traveling through conflict zones, and accomplishes absolutely nothing that was protected under the repealed GA342, nor does it correct for the inane criticisms that were levied by its preceding meme repeal. It warms my heart to see newcomers in the GA adopting the practices of the charlatans who would love to be called the élite whose gimmick relies on being the benefit of the doubt and not having their proposals even skimmed by the majority of voters.
Criticisms of this proposal include this entire newsletter.
Ambassador's Recommendation: Slight Against. With every drop of confidence I’ve secreted in my one month as the Ridgefield WA Ambassador, I will assert that this proposal is a microcosm of everything that’s wrong with 2024 GA culture. I am not recommending a strong against because I don’t want to dignify the author with my ire after having to read their syntax soup justifications to my criticisms in the forums. I will match tepidity for tepidity; I’m not a sadist after all.
Compliance Commission,
if you say so ... 😍😏
In Queue
Right to Exit a Member State
Ramblers, amblers, and offshore gamblers will be pleased to learn that the World Assembly is considering a proposal that would let them spread their wings and take a gander at what lies beyond the event horizon of /detail=trend/censusid=3.
All repeals and replacements have a tale to tell, but this one inherits a particularly contentious legacy from its forebears. GA279 thrived in the tomes of international law until it was repealed by GA728, a rather unfortunate tenth birthday present. The archaic text, which began with the mournfully earnest “Committed to improving the world, one resolution at a time,” was expunged from the record on account of the breadth of its exceptions for the right to emigration by ongoing legal proceedings, as well as the uneven application thereof due to variable judicial systems in the disparate member nations of the World Assembly. In a 1-2 exchange of terse, to-the-point resolutions spanning cosmic eons of NationStates time, one would expect that a replacement from the same author as the repeal would at least attempt to keep within the parameters set by the repeal’s criticisms, right?
Right To Exit A Member State’s forumside thesis is to patch up the legal loopholes that were the downfall of GA279 by expanding protections to include those who are party to civil judicial proceedings. The rest of the text is mostly just a flex by avoiding a subordination clause (and yes, I will make fun of this, and yes, I am also extremely critical of subordination clauses, and yes, I am the website’s biggest hater, and of course I will adjust my standards based on my opinion of the person I’m analyzing).
Criticisms of Right To Exit A Member State tend to address the implementation of the proposal, rather than the topic of emigration itself.
‣ The reliance on national designations for criminality leaves considerable room for inconsistency.
‣ Touching on the similar weakness that spelled the end for the utterly deranged International Criminal Apprehension Accord, these protections will likely only reach the nations with liberalized domestic policies that would permit citizens’ exiting anyway.
‣ High profile civil cases may need to ensure that its participating parties are inside the nation and able to attend relevant matters. This could be approached from either a NatSov or a judicial efficiency perspective.
Ambassador's Recommendation: Slight Against. This is a badgehunt and a contemptuous waste of the General Assembly’s time. The replacement does not meaningfully improve the repealed target beyond a single parameter that is dishonest at best. The rest of the text is stuffing to lengthen the page by not using a subordination clause. While the case for enabling freedom of emigration can be made, a far more effective resolution needs to be put forward to accomplish this than what we’re faced with today. This paper tiger would only set back the cause it claims to enshrine.
commendation afterparty,
BYOB, there will be bridge
and shuffleboarding.
At Vote
Commend Philosophers
I approached this proposal with some pretty low expectations. Ah yes, time for this retirement home to cash in on its clout and replenish its vampiric essence from the international glaze-doner bank, I thought. Turns out I was exactly right, but the text was able to convince me that this might be a rarely justifiable visit by the suspiciously youthful WA commendation scouting interns to a region whose membership rolls match the local Cracker Barrel regulars. And y’know, after last week’s politicking which I narrowly avoided having to write a full report on, maybe some low energy self-congratulatory sensuousness between NS retirees is what the world needs to moisturize our thoroughly salted and desiccated souls. Let’s hope they don’t start asking for antiquity badges again.
Philosophers is the internationally recognized successor of the Philosophy 115 assisted living facility, founded in 2004. “Some of you are younger than this region,” I haughtily sneer from my 2 years and 7 months older than NationStates pedestal, “and the importance of this proposal may be lost on you.” Well, allow me to ease the taxing computations that this Cambrian discourse must be burdening your barely functioning skibidi-addled brains with. Back in my day, Philosophy 115 was in fact a region, and it had nations and also a World Factbook Entry and WA Delegate; a very accomplished community indeed. This is a boomercore discoverable-only-by tag cloud / globally ranked stat trophy region, a very specific class of harmonious social order that describes the likes of Zhaucauozian Friendship and Wysteria, all of whom were easily graced by the gameside automated soft serve glaze mechanics. I am painting this picture of Philosophy 115 to contextualize the arguments that this proposed commendation is putting forward.
This is not only a 20 year old community, but we are going on 20 years of this community acting like a community. Although they’ve had their peaks and troughs over the years, the P115 rotary club has maintained an active RMB with continued interest in not only philosophical subjects, but discussions of any topic that are prone to partisanship, whether it be politics, religion, history, science, or art. And most of it happens good faith! Flexing an active RMB means more now than it ever has; gone are the days of ten new posts per refresh, when Skype was only for weird tryhard gameplaycels, long before Discord vacuumed up every type of user interaction under the sun. P115’s gameside persistence in its mission is a treat to rediscover, and most randomly selected forum-view pages will yield an earnest dialogue about any given topic. The proposal continues to make the rounds under the bingo tables by applauding two community leaders that placed a considerable amount of personal investment in the region, as well as supporting gay rights in the 2000s, a position that only brave activists like Dick Cheney were willing to adopt at the time.
Criticism of this proposal usually attack the provided justifications for a P115 commendation rather than whether or not the community is worthy of this award.
‣ The community-driven angle of the proposal is lost by solely focusing on the founder and high-profile individuals that have come and gone throughout the region’s history.
‣ The founder in question had very partisan Defender tendencies that are completely omitted by the proposal, however there is some 
nuance behind the how’s and why’s of this position.
Ambassador's Recommendation: Slight For. The proposal accomplishes what it sets out to do, however it doesn’t achieve this with very much confidence. Its clauses, while all valid, don’t have the spine of a thesis to operate from, and are centralized in a very narrow scope of relevant personalities. That being said, I think that these flaws are contained to the rhetorical quality of the proposal, but do not necessarily make these any less valid reasons for P115’s commendation; quality goods in bad packaging.
Declaration proposals,
kept fresh until R/D
voting ends.
In Queue
On Embassy Collection
I was wondering when we’d get to see a declaration put to vote for declarative sake. I was pleasantly surprised to see that we weren’t dealing with a lazy, unceremonious, and disrespectful weaponization of a serious topic like slavery to delay defender resolutions. Given how dangerously close On Embassy Collection’s final days of drafting were to the most recent libjunction, I regret that we missed a top 10 SC all-time funny moments compilation spot if it wound up as an accidental ensnarement of TBH’s 1-2 in the delegate approval stasis chamber.
As for the declarative declarations declared by this proposal, the Security Council is being asked to take an official stance against the practice of embassy collection. I’m sure that many of my readers can relate to the experience of receiving or bearing witness to the exchange of unwarranted embassy requests from regions that seem like
lazy impressionistic façades of what the average low-to-medium sized community should look like. But if the eerie page-lengthening list of embassy processing notifications didn’t tip you off already, you might get the hunch that you’ve just been solicited by an embassy collector if the RMB feels like a ghost town with occasional punctuations of animation provided by dropdown menu flags, among which the only user that demonstrates definitive sentience is the creepy regional greeter who prowls the grounds for new nations to convince that the peak of this website’s user experience is issue answering and silent WA participation. Sorry Mike, I didn’t mean to throw NationStates under the bus with these criteria.Embassy collectors come and go in tides, and the presence, disappearance, and fluctuations in activity of these groups make a pretty good method for periodizing our history; right now we are living in the Early Pecan Sandies Horizon. The charges that this proposed declaration brings against the ambitious amassing of ambassadorial embarrassments of embassies are largely concerned with their social ramifications in the interregional ecosystem; they’re annoying, they do not foster healthy embassy diplomacy, they’re annoying, they’re extremely mercenary with the types of regions they affiliate with, they’re annoying, embassy collection mirrors raider trophy collections, they’re annoying, and also because they’re annoying. Further justification is provided by a hypothetical of embassy collectors legitimizing the existence of politically radical regions, or by citing incidents in which collectors have pestered those who did not agree to establish embassies with them.
Criticisms of On Embassy Collection often address the role that the Security Council is assuming by passing a resolution of this nature.
‣ There is no inherent value to the gameside embassy mechanic, and it is irresponsible for the SC to assign a moral weight to the usefulness of a region’s embassies.
‣ The charged vocabulary of the proposal assumes that the voterbase has already achieved a consensus about embassy collectors, even though this angle has been criticized by users both affiliated and unaffiliated with said regions.
‣ There is nothing inherently wrong about embassy collection; even if it is an unpopular way of engaging with the website, attempts to describe it as a harmful practice are concocted to justify people’s preexisting annoyances with them.
Ambassador's Recommendation: Slight For. Personally, I don’t find embassy collectors to be as annoying as some of the stronger voices backing this proposal do. I will readily agree that they are a shifty lot who harbor both idosyncratic gameplay philosophies and overall creepy vibes, but I also believe that if these people find themselves called to a life of greater tediousness than card farming, that’s within their right ... in theory. Politics won full custody of my soul from Ethics in the divorce, and I am positively giddy to assist the expansion of the Security Council’s jurisdiction. It is the belief of your Ambassador that the SC’s primary function is to assign moral weight to otherwise neutral game functions; raids are just updates after all! If this meme council is going to even come close to the first semester law school standards of the General Assembly, it needs to be absolutely confident that it can police the manner in which the embassy buttons in regional administration pages can be clicked. Ridgefielders, this could be your opportunity to participate in the Cluniac Reform of the Security Council. Who knows, some day we could produce our very own Gregory VII who will have every region’s ROs appointed directly by the SC.
Thank you for reading!
~ Kay Pacha, World Assembly Ambassador of Ridgefield
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