It has been 3 hours since the Symyano sent their message, and a build-up of energy in the orbiting objects has been detected, which has led many military commanders to believe that they are preparing an attack.

"I agree with Mr McLean," said Admiral Guy Bates. "Every message we have sent, we get the same reply. They demand the unconditional surrender of Sargvilosahnah - and they state that they will attack unless we do what they demand. It is clear that force is the only means of opposing them."

"NUKE 'EM!!" cried McLean again.

"Yes, yes, we heard you the first time," replied Prime Minister, Sam Houselion. "We should prepare to attack them with everything we have, including our nuclear missiles. We must, beforehand, get every nation on Sargvilosahnah onboard. We need to stand together. I want Jeff Goldblake to send a message to every nation, asking them to work together with each other to create a united plan."

Houselion's intelligence adviser, John Dulles, emerges from the shadows. "I believe we should accept their demand."

"What?!" cries McLean. "Give in to their demands? NEVER!"

"The Symyano are more powerful than humans. Humanity should give in to their demand. The human race will die futilely if it resists." Dulles replied, coldly.

"I would rather die with a rifle in my hand, than on my knees!" spat McLean.

"I think the General's words represent the feelings of most people of Sargvilosahnah." stated Houselion, "We must make a stand!"

Dulles whispered to himself, "Pathetic!"

"Ladies and Gentlemen," announces Minister of War, Commander Rockem Sockem. "This is a crisis, the likes of which has never been seen before in anyone's lifetime. It is true what these... 'aliens' say. They are planning to take over the planet - wiping out civilization as we know it. It is true that these things have infiltrated the government and some of our major scientific institutions, but luckily most of these moles have been recognised and... disposed of. This includes our Trade, Internal Affairs, Defence, and Science Ministers, along with several top scientists in the Glerican Institute for Science."

A hiss of muttering and whispering sweeps through the room, shocked that the loveable Defence Minister, Hessy Shielding, was one of "them". A sigh of relief followed when they realised that the Foreign Minister, Miles Kilometre, was unharmed.

"They also got 22 out of the 24 Splort Commandos, so we only have two left. I won't mention their names for security. Luckily they're ready to get these bastards out of here!"

He dramatically (some say too dramatically) turns and presses a rather large red button, and two black-suited Splort Commandos are raised up through a trapdoor. They nod to the Commander and begin typing commands into the suit computer. The Commander then raises his hand...

"Splort!"

He slams down on the button, only for it to be met with a high pitched whine and then the sound of a computer failing. Nothing happens.

"Oh, err... See you later, folks!"

Well... after the extraordinary announcements today, I - for one - welcome our new Symyano overlords!
May they rule over us with benevolence, mercy, and increased funding for national news reporting.

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That's right - 25% extra protection when you order any shelter from our bunker range.

Our bunkers are guaranteed to withstand any nuclear bombardment... or your money back!

Exalted Fleetmaster! The infiltrators have been reporting in!

Excellent - have they all been successful in their missions?

It would appear so, most exalted one... but...

But?

Please! I beg your forgiveness! We still have not received word from a handful of our agents - indeed, reports from the others suggest some of them have been out of communion for some time.

Hmm. This is not unusual - agents are lost through mishap, on occasion.

You speak only truth, your exaltedness!

Get me a list of those who are missing. In the meantime, what messages have we received from the primitive beings on the planet below?

The typical mix of puzzled queries, outright defiance, and one or two would-be collaborators, seeking to save themselves at the expense of their fellows, your exaltedness.

Ah, yes - the pitiful, grovelling collaborators - every race has them! Let us see what this crude world has offered up!

At once, exalted Fleetmaster!

DS: You knew they were coming, Malachite! How???

CM: I take it you're referring to our Symyano visitors, Agent Spicerack?

DS: Don't play games, Malachite! What are you? One of the infiltrators they mentioned? hm?

CM: I'm really growing quite bored of your questions, Agent Spicerack. I have lots of things I need to be doing, so I believe I'll be leaving now.

*sound of chair scraping backwards*

DS: Oh no you don't!!!

*click of a safety catch*

Sit right back down!

CM: Agent Spicerack, you already know that will do little more than inconvenience me!

DS: Perhaps, but have you forgotten the armed squads behind the mirror and in the corridor?

CM: No, no I haven't. In fact, I already arranged for this facility to be seeded with some of my GBI-2 operatives - I'm sure there are enough among the staff to cover my escape.

DS: You're bluffing, Malachite!

*suddenly the sound of close combat erupts from behind the mirror*

DS: You can't have!

CM: I'm afraid so, Agent Spicerack... Agent Snowshovel - hold Delores here until I've departed... I would hate to see such an attractive woman come to harm while attempting some futile heroics.

RS: Sir!

DS: Robby! No! Not y-ugh! Get... off! Nnngh!!!

CM: Good day, Delores, it was a pleasure to make your acquaintance - perhaps we'll meet again in the future!

*sound of the door swinging open and distant sound of more close combat - and even a pistol being fired - down the corridor*

Good evening, viewers. The time is twelve o'clock and I'm Trent Butterknife bringing you the news all across Sargvilosahnah, thanks to the Rhanukhan OrbiTech satellite communications network!

Tonight's main headlines:

Terror in the Sky!: The question that has been asked since the dawn of time has been officially answered. We are not alone in the universe. The arrival of the Symyano fleet over Sargvilosahnah yesterday has confirmed not only this fact, but that The Empire of Nerrekhvasukhan was not merely the victim of a cosmic accident.

His Resplendence, the Supreme Chairman, made his official response to the Symyano demand for the complete surrender of ........

*static*

[Simultaneous broadcast on all of Sargvilosahnah's television and radio channels]

*static clears, revealing the wrinkled features of Fleetmaster Boohubalss*

THIS IS FLEETMASTER BOOHUBALSS OF THE SYMYANO HEGEMONY! WE HAVE LISTENED TO YOUR PATHETIC ATTEMPTS AT NEGOTIATION FOR ONE FULL TURN OF THIS WORLD AND STILL HAVE NOT RECEIVED WORD OF YOUR SURRENDER. IT IS CLEAR THAT YOU WISH TO TEST US. YOU WILL FIND WE ARE COMPLETELY SINCERE IN OUR COMMITMENT! WE HAVE DETERMINED THE LOCATION OF THE LEADER OF ONE OF YOUR INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE NATIONS. HE WILL BE DESTROYED AS AN EXAMPLE TO THE REST OF YOU! OBSERVE!

*static, followed by the return of scheduled programming*

[Communication from Commander Martin 'Buzz' Cheesegrater aboard the Rhanukhani State Space Station to Stars Reach Space Centre, Astahni]

Sir! Again, I can confirm that the Symyano have launched an attack! A projectile composed of a soft, brown substance emerged from the underside of one of their vessels. It appears to have been targeted on Mianertograditojikayhan, sir! I am attempting to get more precise details from the instruments now!

[Rhanukhani State News Network Midnight Bulletin]

...and I'm been informed - yes - we have reports coming in from correspondents in Mianertograditojikayhan of the first attack from the Symyano fleet! mmhm. ah... I'm told that an object fell from the sky and - wait! Apparently we have footage of the event!

(shaky night-time shot of a large city from an upper storey balcony. A blazing object descends from the sky, illuminating everything briefly before impacting on the horizon. The camera image is burned out for a few seconds by the brightness of the resulting explosion. Once everything clears, a raging inferno can be seen lighting up the sky. The camera vibrates heavily and then swings left to right, revealing large blobs of a hissing brown sludge hammering into nearby walls and smashing through windows. Suddenly the image is reduced to static.)

erm... we appear to have lost the picture there, but I can confirm that the attack was centred on the presidential bunker in Raspberry Fields, Mianertograditojikayhan. We can only hope, for the sakes of the citizens of Mianertograditojikayhan, that President Vershner and his staff survived that assault.

Incoming? From who?

"Greetings, Professor! I trust you've managed in my absence?"

Const- ah... Mr Malachite! What a pleasure to hear from you!

"All thanks to your GBI project, Professor - it was most thoughtful of you to infiltrate GBI-2s into the RNSA."

You'll be pleased to learn that isn't the only organisation with GBI-2 employees, Mr Malachite.

"That doesn't surprise me at all, Professor. *chuckle* Can you hold the fort a little longer? I have a small task to perform before I can join you."

Certainly, Mr Malachite - it will be good to see you again!

People of Mianertograditojikayhan, it is with great regret I must announce the demise of our great leader, General Vershner. The Symyano attack destroyed three city-blocks and damaged numerous buildings in the vicinity, but the fires are now under control and further damage is unlikely. Fortunately, the timing of the attack meant that few people were working in the offices surrounding the government buildings, but I can confirm that several other government ministers were attending a meeting at the time and are presumed lost. Among those are Vice President, Brink Mattrop, Chancellor Gorgon Brune, and Glerican diplomat Jennifer McAde.

As the highest ranking member of the government remaining, I am assuming command of Mianertograditojikayhan. All government departments and security forces now report directly to me.

It is clear to me that we cannot possibly fight such a superior and advanced race, and so I have immediately contacted the Symyano and offered our surrender. They were receptive to the offer and agreed to our terms.

As part of our agreement, police will be visiting every home, at around midnight tonight, and making certain minor adjustments to your living arrangements. I urge you to cooperate fully, and meekly, with the police, so as to minimise the level of pain suffered.

Yours victori... err... regretfully, Clarrents Vishni.

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"Hello and welcome to the "Ten to Three" News, I'm Jam Strawberry. Our main story tonight:- With a fleet of explosive and evil aliens hovering over Sargvilosahnah, several of our government officials killed and exposed as infiltrators for another race, Mianertograditojikayhan being attacked and their leader killed, and Splort Technology now redundant, crap certainly seems to be falling on all of us lately.... What do you mean, I can't say "crap"? I think there are more urge... ALIENS, PAUL! I DON'T CARE IF YOU’RE THE PRODUCER - HAVE YOU SEEN THE ALIENS? THE BIG FU-"

*Technical Difficulties!*

"Hello, I'm Mar Mite - Jam Strawberry has taken the evening off.

With Splorting technology being unresponsive, it is clear that this could mean the end to civilization as we know it. Many nations have already announced their surrender and with the King and some of his advisors being moved to a secret location for security, a new General - Chinston Worstill - has been put in place and he joins us here tonight. General, thanks for joining us!"

"Oh, no problem."

"What is Glerica's plan for this alien attack?"

"Well, there is no doubt that this enemy means business - I mean, did you see Mianertograditojikayhan?! Jees... Anyway, our main priorities at the moment are getting the Splorting System back online, training up a few more Splort Commandos, and engaging in several secret operations."

"And how long will that take?"

"Anywhere up to six months."

"Some would say that’s a smidge too long, don't you think? And, with some of our top scientists being exposed as infiltrators, is there any chance?"

"Well, the government has been strong on this one. We will not give up, even if every man, woman, and child is subjected to the most horrific torture and pain never experienced before by humans, we will not surrender!"

Mar Mite stutters, looking paler than normal, "T-Torture..?"

"Oh, quite right. I'd expect it anyway, you know? Horrible stuff."

"Err... Well, with civilisation as we know it collapsing into a harsh reality and feeling that all is lost, that everything we once knew and loved is at an end, we'd like to know what your thoughts are about it. Email in at..."

Leaders of Sargvilosahnah, it is with regret that I must inform you our former Prime Minister, Sam Houselion, brutally machine-gunned his entire cabinet nearly four hours ago. He then shot himself immediately after he engaged in this terrible act. His motives are not known.

I have assumed command, and my first act was to radio a message to the Symyano, offering the unconditional surrender of Nohvrakishnaplermta. I urge every other nation in Sargvilosahnah, who has not surrendered, to do so immediately.

Exalted Fleetmaster! The first nations of this primitive world have begun surrendering, either through their own choice or as a result of the efforts of our infiltrators and collaborators!

It is good to know there is some wisdom amongst these pitiful creatures - hopefully the remaining nations will see the futility of their continuing defiance and follow suit! Now, the infiltrators who have failed to report - you have assembled a list?

Your exaltedness, it is done! The following agents have all failed to report in since our arrival... Aknallaghdd, Bowlisqueff, Chonmiklatt -

Hold! Chonmiklatt? He was teamed with my old friend, Alrabustt... contact Alrabustt at once! He must know what has become of his partner!

Indeed, your exaltedness - it shall be as you say!...

*The Fleetmaster's aide consults a small device in his hand*

Exalted one! Alrabustt's communicator informs me that he is currently engaged in a mission - should I override?

No, we had best not disturb him - he is no doubt orchestrating the surrender of this... hmm...

*Fleetmaster Boohubalss studies a small flashing icon on a hologram of the globe*

...Rhanukhan?

[Palace of the Dedicated Worker, Rhanukhan - His Resplendence, the Supreme Chairman, Horatio J. Prism is concluding a teleconference with leading members of the military and intelligence services]

...and so, there can be no surrender, ladies and gentlemen - the workers and citizens of Rhanukhan will not submit to the rule of these outsiders!

*chorus of agreement followed by the monitors deactivating as the various officers return to their jobs*

Alien invasion! Who would have belie-

*The doors to the conference chamber suddenly burst open as foreign minister, Allistair Ballustrade, marches in, flanked by uniformed members of the palace guard*

Secure the room, men! My apologies for the intrusion, Your Resplendence!

Allistair! What is the meaning of this?

Your Resplendence, we believe one of the Symyano infiltrators is within the palace!

Here! Now? How on-

The doors and windows are all secure, Mr Ballustrade!

Thank you, then we can begin!

Allistair? What-

Silence human! I am in charge now!

*Several of the uniformed guards suddenly turn their weapons towards the Supreme Chairman*

You? Allistair! All these years!

Yes, pathetic creature! I have maintained the illusion of being your loyal and trusted servant long enough! Now it is my turn to give the orders! You will make an immediate broadcast announcing Rhanukhan's unconditional surrender to the Symyano Hegemony!

I will do no such thing, Allistair... if that is your real name...

Ha! I suppose this crude deception is no longer required - you may now address me as-

BADOOM!

*The doors to the chamber are blown off their hinges, flattening the guards placed by them*

ALRABUSTT!!! I KNOW YOU'RE HERE!

*Constantine Malachite strides boldly into the room, carrying a heavy pistol and leading a team of armoured GBI-2s in RNSA uniform*

Who?! How?!!

TAKE THEM ALL DOWN - I'LL SEE TO THE SUPREME CHAIRMAN!

No! You will not deny me, human!

*As a firefight erupts around them, Alrabustt draws a pistol of his own and fires an expertly aimed shot at Constantine's chest, knocking the business mogul back. He is unprepared, however, for the sight of Malachite simply rolling into a backflip and straight up onto his feet again*

Malachite! I saw the arrest footage - it's you!

Indeed it is, Alrabustt!

*Glancing desperately around, Alrabustt sees that his regular human troops are faring badly against the GBI-2s*

I don't know how you learned my true name, Malachite, but all the knowledge in the world won't prevent me from killing your beloved leader!

*Alrabustt swings his pistol around towards where the Supreme Chairman is slowly backing away from the conflict - Horatio freezes in his tracks and stares defiantly at the alien invader he believed to be a trusted friend*

Goodbye... Your Resplendence!

BLAM!

*The bullet is wildly off mark as, in a split second, Constantine crosses the distance between them and grabs Alrabustt's arm, crushing the bones*

GRAAAARGH!!!

You really haven't recognised me, have you... partner?

*Alrabustt's eyes suddenly widen*

-GASP!- CHO-

*With a sickening crunch, Constantine crushes the infiltrator's neck one-handed, choking off whatever he was about to say*

Hush now, you've said enough already.

*Constantine drops the limp body, turns to the Supreme Chairman and flashes one of his charismatic smiles*

Your Resplendence! It’s a pleasure and an honour to meet you, as always!

Malachite! You- How?!

There's no time for lengthy explanations, Your Resplendence - we both have work to do! My GBI-2s appear to have dealt with Ballustrade's little party, so-

He- he was one of them! All these years... who knows what he might have achieved in that time?

As I was saying, my GBI-2s will escort you to your command bunker, Your Resplendence - you will be safe from any further attacks, I assure you. Now, if you'll excuse me...

Wait!

We really don't have ti-

Then make time, dammit! I am the Supreme Chairman here!

...I remain your humble servant, Your Resplendence.

Malachite... it appears to me that you know more about what's going on than most - I could use a man of your foresight in this crisis.

You could indeed, Your Resplendence... and so could the rest of Sargvilosahnah! I have prepared as much as I could to protect you all from the Symyano. I'm leaving now to begin co-ordinating those defences with my followers. Expect to hear from me shortly - and tell your fellow world leaders that there will be no surrender and no Symyano conquest!

*Constantine spins on his heel and strides purposefully out through the blasted doors leaving a stunned Horatio J. Prism to be escorted to his bunker*

Good day, Mr Malachite - it’s wonderful to see you again!

Thank you, Professor - I’m glad to see you were able to continue the plan in my absence.

Indeed, Mr Malachite, your preparations have been very thorough.

What news do we have on the proceedings?

Operatives have been reporting in from various countries - it is almost certain that Symyano infiltrators are active in nearly every nation. It’s quite clear that the new leader in Nohvrakishnaplermta is a Symyano agent, however, the Glericans are claiming to have neutralised the agents in their country.

The Glericans? We can only hope that’s true. I’m certain that they were the hub of the infiltration operation here!

+++ATTENTION! MISSILE LAUNCH DETECTED+++

A missile? Where?!

+++MISSILE POINT OF ORIGIN: NOHVRAKISHNAPLERMTA, TARGET: SYMYANO FLAGSHIP+++

Somebody’s fighting back! Excellent!

+++ATTENTION! MISSILE NEUTRALISED+++

Neutralised? Damn them! How, computer?

+++SIGNAL CONSISTENT WITH SPLORT-BASED ATTACK DETECTED – ATTEMPTING TO DETERMINE ORIGIN+++

Splort? The Symyano are using splort technology! I knew the Glericans couldn’t have developed it so quickly on their own! At least they’ve dealt with the infiltrators in their-

+++SPLORT SIGNAL POINT OF ORIGIN: GLERICA+++

Good afternoon, viewers. The time is one o'clock and I'm Trent Butterknife bringing you the news all across Sargvilosahnah, thanks to the Rhanukhan OrbiTech satellite communications network!

Today's main headlines:

Battle in the Palace: RSNN has received reports of an attempt on His Resplendence, the Supreme Chairman’s life last night. In a statement released to the press, His Resplendence confirmed that foreign minister, Allistair Ballustrade, had in fact been a Symyano infiltrator, intent on gaining Rhanukhan’s surrender. Luckily - thanks to intelligence from a currently undisclosed source - agents of the Rhanukhani National Security Agency were able to rescue His Resplendence and terminate Ballustrade and his lackeys. Former education minister, Zoe Washbasin has been appointed as successor to Ballustrade’s former role. We’ll be joining Sophie Futon on the streets of Rhanukhan for public opinion on these events.

In other news- wait - I’m just been informed… yes - we’re receiving reports of an attempted missile attack against the Symyano. In spite of their leader’s apparent capitulation to the invaders, it would appear that somebody in Nohvrakishnaplermta is willing to fight back! I can confirm the launch of one nuclear missile against the- wait - I’m just receiving updated informa- oh no!

...It is with sorrow that I announce the failure of the Nohvrakishnaplermtans’ brave effort against the invaders. We can be certain the Symyano response will be swift and brutal. Our hopes and best wishes are with the people of Nohvrakishnaplermta.

The rest of the news, sport and tomorrow's weather will be coming right after this break...

Those accursed Symyano! They have Glerica completely under their control! It's the only explanation!

Surely not, Mr Malachite?!

It is! I was right about them! They're the hub of the infiltration! We have to take them out of the equation or any attack on the fleet will be worthless! You said the splort disrupter was fully functional, Professor?

Yes, Mr Malachite! The signal we intercepted, the body that appeared in Dariwhani - it had to have been a successful hit!

Good! I can see us needing it! Computer!

+++GOOD EVENING, MR MALACHITE - WHAT IS YOUR COMMAND?+++

Connect me with all our GBI-2 primaries in Glerica!

Good evening, viewers. The time is ten o'clock and I'm Trent Butterknife bringing you the news all across Sargvilosahnah, thanks to the Rhanukhan OrbiTech satellite communications network!

Tonight's main headlines:

Glerican Duplicity?: Following their splort attack on the missile launched by Nohvrakishnaplermta it is now clear that earlier reports from Glerica regarding the elimination of Symyano agents were false. A spokesman for the Rhanukhani National Security Agency stated today that they believe the Symyano infiltrators disposed of any Glerican government officials who weren't of their own kind and simply released reports that the opposite had occurred. This could potentially mean that the entire surviving government of that nation are Symyano agents, which would make Glerica the Symyano infiltrator hotspot of the world!

He's Not a Traitor, He's a Free Man!: Yes viewers, Lehpuhrtan governor, Constantine Malachite - sensationally arrested live on RSNN over the weekend - has been released without charge on the grounds of insufficient evidence! Upon being asked if he would be seeking compensation for his ordeal, the magnanimous Mr Malachite stated that there were far more important concerns in the world today and looked to the sky, clearly indicating the Symyano invasion; adding that the official apology he had received from the Director of the RNSA, Ignatius Lampstand, was compensation enough.

And finally: Curious lights were seen descending from the sky in the province of Loidisuria last night. Witnesses - including reputable members of the Loidisurian Law Enforcement Agency - claim that the lights were seen moving around in a co-ordinated pattern for up to five minutes before suddenly dropping groundwards. As can be seen from this amateur video footage, there were as many as seven of the lights visible at one point. Additional reports an hour later suggest that the same - or a similar - group of lights were seen ascending again. What could this mean? Is it connected to the Symyano in some way? Jonathan Spatula brings us the full report.

All the news, sport and tomorrow's weather coming right after this break...

Excellent news, exalted one - you will recall the missile attack earlier?

I do.

And that we utilised the remote command that Mlotarann was able to install in the teleportation machine he helped the humans of Glerica develop?

Yes... that seemed an almost treacherous move on his part... I wonder what he was trying to achieve?

Perhaps the result we observed today, exalted Fleetmaster!

Hmm? Which is...?

Infighting, your exaltedness! Many of the other nations are convinced the Glericans acted to protect us of their own accord! The seeds of distru-

*Boohubalss's aide is briefly distracted by the small device he always carries*

Exalted Fleetmaster! The recovery team has returned with Alrabustt!

At last! Where is he? Take me to him at once!

*Moments later in the ship's infirmary, Boohubalss comes face to face with his old friend. Alrabustt's shuddering, gangly, naked form is hooked to various machines by pipes and cables - clearly the only things keeping him alive. His hair is still slick with the fluids of the command womb from which he has recently been removed and his eyes are clamped shut against what he perceives as blinding light*

Alrabustt... my oldest and most trusted friend...

B-B-B-Buhblsss?

Yes, my friend, I am here.

*Boohubalss looks to the medical staff who nervously glance away, unable to meet his questioning gaze*

Th-th-thought h-he d-d-d-d-dead!

Who, Alrabustt? The one who did this?

Ysss!

Who was it?! Give me his name and that human and all he holds dear will pay for this crime!!!

N-n-n-nt h'man-n-n!

Not...?

T-traitor!!!!

A traitor?! It cannot be, old friend!

Ws! Th-th-thought h-he d-d-d-d-dead! Y-y-yrsss ag-g-go!

*Alrabustt spasms violently, tearing some of the cables from his body, Boohubalss looks up angrily at the medical staff who desperately try to calm his friend down and reattach the machines*

Who was it, Alrabustt? I must have his name!

Ws Cho! Ws Cho!!! Chn!! Nnnnn!

WHO?!!!!! THE NAME!!!!!

CHN-CHONMIKLATT!!!

*With one final shuddering spasm, Alrabustt collapses back onto the bed, the machines' displays all showing that he has expired. The medical staff all cower, expecting the worst. They are not disappointed. The Fleetmaster's rage is terrible - by the time his grief-stricken, flailing rampage is over, three of the medical team are dead and the rest in need of their colleagues' attention.*

The disinformation campaign is performing flawlessly, exalted fleetmaster! Even though the signal broadcasts are complete gibberish they are achieving the desired effect! The petty nations of this world squabble with each other even in the face of our fleet.

That is excellent news, but it does little to compensate for the loss of Alrabustt.

You speak truth, exalted one. It is unthinkable that there is a traitor to the Symyano Hegemony loose upon this world, and yet-

Yet, it is the only explanation for a number of incidents since our arrival... not least how much more technologically advanced this species has become since we launched the great yellow arc at this world!!!

I-it is as you say, your exaltedness! These primitive creatures could not possibly have been able to exploit the arc's technology without assistance!

Grr! Move this vessel into position over the city in which Alrabustt's avatar was destroyed! I will teach both Chonmiklatt and the verminous creatures of this world a lesson!

[Rhanukhani State News Network Late Night Bulletin]

Good evening, viewers. The time is nine o'clock and I'm Trent Butterknife bringing you the news all across Sargvilosahnah thanks to the Rhanukhan OrbiTech satellite communications network!

Tonight's main headlines:

Global Duplicity?: Evidence is coming to light that other nations around the world may also now be under the direct control of the Symyano Hegemony! Encrypted signals - which the Rhanukhani National Security Agency are still struggling to translate - are regularly being transmitted from ships of the Symyano Fleet to the government buildings of Glerica, Nohvrakishnaplermta, Mianertograditojikayhan, and Gamiatianekan Idiokrahtia, amongst others. Speculation is rife that the governments of these nations are collaborating - some more openly than others - with the invaders.

They're here!: Earlier reports have been confirmed that the Symyano vessel identified as Fleetmaster Boohubalss' flagship has moved into position over Rhanukhan Kaglakh within the last half hour. Why is he here? Wha...

*static*

[Simultaneous broadcast on all of Sargvilosahnah’s television and radio channels]

*static clears, revealing the wrinkled features of Fleetmaster Boohubalss*

THIS IS FLEETMASTER BOOHUBALSS OF THE SYMYANO HEGEMONY! I SEND THIS MESSAGE TO A SPECIFIC INDIVIDUAL! CHONMIKLATT - WE KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! I CAN ONLY BELIEVE YOU HOLD SOME AFFECTION FOR THESE PITIFUL CREATURES. I WILL NOW TEST THIS THEORY. IF YOU DO NOT SURRENDER YOURSELF WITHIN ONE TURN OF THIS WORLD I WILL COMMENCE BOMBARDMENT OF THIS CITY BENEATH ME AND CONTINUE UNTIL IT HAS BEEN WIPED CLEAN OF LIFE! I KNOW YOU HEAR ME, CHONMIKLATT!

*static, followed by the return of scheduled programming*

[Rhanukhani State News Network Late Night Bulletin]

...e back? We are?

ahem! Well, there you have it viewers - Fleetmaster Boohubalss himself providing us with the answer... and more questions! Who is this "Chonmiklatt" and what has he done? Why has Rhanukhan been singled out? Was it a random decision or is there a connection? Let's go to Sophie Futon on the streets of Rhanukhan Kaglakh for the opinion of the regular Rhanukhani citizen! Sophie?

"...uick! This way!!!"

Sophie? We don't seem to be getting any video... You're on the air... can you ask some passers-by for their opinions?

*background noises of what is clearly a terrified mob*

"Into the van!... Forget it! We can get another camera later!"

*sounds of doors slamming, the cries and screams become more muffled*

erm... Sophie? No?

um...

Sophie Futon, live from Rhanukhan Kaglakh! We'll be back with all the news, sport and tomorrow's weather right after this break...

[Somewhere in a secret location]

Mr Malachite! Have you seen the news? The Symyano have taken over several more countries!

No, they haven't... they couldn't have in such a short space of time - this is some kind of deception! Look - the signals are meaningless!

But... what? You've already cracked the Symyano codes?

Err... yes! The Simulated Intelligence Machine #1 is the most advanced computer on the planet - it didn't take it long at all! I'm transmitting the appropriate information to the countries we know to be free still. We need to be organised and cohesive in the face of this threat. Now, tell me, Professor - are all the GBI-2s in Glerica in position?

Yes - yes they are! The operation can go ahead on your command, Mr Malachite.

Good! We need to- what's this?

*Fleetmaster Boohubalss appears on the main monitor making his threat to Chonmiklatt*

Oh no! Alrabustt must have-

Alrabustt, Mr Malachite? Who is-

ah - nothing important, Professor - we need to do something about this threat to Rhanukhan!

Of course, Mr Malachite. And the Glerican operation?

It can wait a few hours, Professor - are we ready to fly?

You mean...?

Yes!

Well, the undermining is essentially complete... and we know that the Bananætherium is effective - the Starhawk tests proved that - but something of this size!

I've done the maths, Professor - there's no reason why not. Get everybody out of the mines - we're taking the fight to Boohubalss!!!

Glerican Splort Command

Having seen the news from Rhanukhan, General Chinston Worstill senses an opportunity.

"Okay, this is our chance, people! We can prove to them that we aren't under Symyano control!"

"Our chance? Doing what?"

"We can start Aid-Splorting! Doctor Rodgers! Evacuate the people out of central Rhanukhan Kaglakh by splorting them to the old Glerican Games City just outside Mattopia! Send relief workers there to provide food, comfort, and medical assistance if needed, OK?"

"General, I don't really know if splorting people instantly out of the blast zone to a nation hundreds of miles away is a great plan... Won't they be disorientated?"

"Maybe, but it's better than being, quote, 'wiped clean of life'"

"Well, good point... Starting splorting procedures. We should drop a line to the Rhanukhani Government too, letting them know what we're doing, so they don't get all confused about their population disappearing."

[Somewhere in a secret location]

+++ATTENTION - SPLORT INITIALISATION SIGNAL DETECTED+++

What? Now??!! Where is it computer?

+++SPLORT SIGNAL SOURCE: GLERICA, TARGET: RHANUKHAN KAGLAKH+++

Rhanukhan? What are they playing at? Computer - put me through to the Supreme Chairman!

+++COMPLYING+++

"Malachite?! How did you-"

It doesn't matter, Your Resplendence - the Symyano agents in Glerica are-

"Wait a moment, Malachite - I have another call coming through."

No! Your- hnn!

*looped recording of the Rhanukhani national anthem plays*

Computer - are the mines cleared yet?

+++ESTIMATED TIME REMAINING: 55 MINUTES+++

Why is everything so slow?! Professor! The generators?

They are all functioning at full-

+++CALL RECONNECTED+++

"Malachite! That was the Glerican King - he tells me they're going to start splorting people out of Rhanukhan Kaglakh to a safe loca-"

You can't trust him, Your Resplendence! He's clearly a Symyano infiltrator! It's all a ruse - you won't even know how many people he's taken once the flagship bombards the city!

"I know, Malachite! I do have intelligence advisors! But what can we do? There's no way to stop splorting!"

Actually, Your Resplendence - there is... Professor - transfer power from the levitation generators to the splort disrupter!

"Who are you talking to there, Malachite?!"

But, Mr Malachite - we won't be able to make the initial lift-off without full-

It'll have to wait for now! Hopefully the Glericans will stop trying before Boohubalss starts his bombardment! Computer!

+++AT YOUR COMMAND+++

I want the splort disrupter channelled through every OrbiTech satellite passing over Rhanukhan - don't let the splort beam through!

Glerican Splort Command

"General, something very strange is happening..."

"What is it, Doctor?"

"Well, for the first twenty seconds we were splorting fine and, given that splorting is instant and we have to wait for co-ordinates to be recalibrated, we were able to get quite a few people out before..."

"How many people? And what do you mean, before? Before what?"

"Well, by the Bio-Scans, it seems we got around 15,000 people out of central Rhanukhan Kaglakh before it just... stopped."

"Stopped? Those Symyano again?"

"Well, it's very similar to their ships' dampening fields if it isn't... You don't think that Rhanukhan has found a way to stop splorting do you?"

Professor George Concour looks up, mockingly.

"Of course not! It's impossible!"

Doctor Jane Rodgers skims through a couple of "Spyease" read-outs

"Obviously not, George. According to these, it seems that they've been aware of our Splorting since long before we announced it... In fact, they've got their own science investigating this whole 'Banana' business."

"What? Feeding it to monkeys to see if it tastes nice? Please. Glerican science is at the forefront. Always has been."

"Actually, some of this is very advanced... Genetics mainly, some sort of splicing DNA... human cloning... advanced humans..."

"Human cloning?! Advanced humans?! That's not possible!"

"Yeah, and neither was teleportation, George. What's a GBI-2?"

"Hang on, I've heard that before... GBI-1 are soldiers, remember? Rhanukhani elite troops. There were rumours that they were-"

"-Superhumans?"

"Yeah... This could be very, very bad. How did we get this information?"

"Well, before we started mass splorting, we got one of the Splort Commandos in there, just to keep check on the situation. Far too small to be picked up by anything, but she came back with all this information. Logs and commands of some sort of central computer. We haven't had time to read it through yet."

"Which agent?"

"That old captain... Kelli Irving."

[Somewhere in a secret location]

+++ATTENTION - SPLORT SIGNAL DETECTED+++

Why are they still trying? Surely they must be convinced it's useless by now!

+++ATTENTION - SPLORT SIGNAL NEUTRALISED+++

Hn! Professor! How are the power plants?

They're holding up fine, Mr Malachite, but while we continue to divert power into the splort disrupter we don't have enough for launch!

And if we divert all power into the levitation generators who knows how many more citizens we'll lose while we get airborne? It's a catch-22!

If we could only gain access to the Glerican's splort command and destroy it.

oh, for - I'm a fool! We don't even need to destroy it, Professor!

We - we don't?

Not necessarily - it just needs to be offline while we break loose! Once we're up we won't need the full capacity of the power plants anymore and can activate the disrupter again!

But-

All we need is to disable the power source of the splort installation... we'll have to pull the GBI-2s off the other mission, but this is more important right now! Computer - connect me to Agent Blue!

Glerican Splort Command

"Well, I'm stumped, I really am. For some unknown reason, Splorting is now not operational within the Rhanukhan Kaglakh borders or on the Symyano Ships. We've found out that Rhanukhan has some seriously dangerous genetic developments going on, half of our government and scientists have been exposed as aliens and terminated, and a group in Mianertograditojikayhan has contacted us asking if they could have some help making a stupid loop of some sort!"

"What?"

"I don't know, but I told them we're ever so slightly busy at the moment and can't possibly spare any time working out how to make a perfectly circular hoop of metal."

That moment, General Chinston Worstill walks into the room and dumps more files onto Jane's already overflowing desk.

"Doctor! Read these, they're the latest Rhanukhan computer logs that Irving swiped before coming back!"

Doctor Rodgers picks them up wearily, she hasn't slept for coming on 32 hours now and it's getting rather hard to concentrate.

"Splort signals... Glerica... targets... What is this?"

"Read the last couple of commands."

"Levitation generators? Splorting Disruptors? How were they able to track the Splort Signals? And what the hell is this about 'take off'?"

George looks up.

"It's rather easy to trace, Jane - the amount of energy needed for it."

"Still, I didn't think Rhanukhan was that technologically active..."

"Was that before you found out they've developed full human cloning?"

Worstill stands up and thumps his fist on the desk, sending reports and laptops flying. It hurts, but he isn't going to let anyone know about it.

"I don't like this at all! We need action! Get Irving in here, we need to get her moving!"

+++ATTENTION - SPLORT SIGNAL DETECTED+++

The GBI-2s must have failed! We're running out of time - I'm going ahead with this anyway!

+++ATTENTION - SPLORT SIGNAL NEUTRALISED+++

But, Mr Malachite! The Glericans will start splorting Rhanukhani citizens as soon as we deactivate the disrupter!

Then we'll just have to make this as fast as possible, Professor - I was hoping to make it a slow, controlled event... ah, well - I can apologise to those on the surface afterwards...

Mr Malachite?!

Shut down the splort disrupter - all power to the levitation generators!

Very well. Powerplants functioning at full capacity, Mr Malachite - all power diverted to the levitation generators.

+++ATTENTION - SPLORT SIGNAL DETECTED+++

I can't do anything about that now, Computer! Fire the charges! Let's see what the world thinks of this...

[Rhanukhani State News Network News Flash!]

Good evening, I'm Trent Butterknife. This news just in! Massive seismic activity in the province of Lehpuhrta! We go live now to Gillian Towelrail who's on the island - Gillian?...

"H-hello, Trent! I'm here on the island of Lehpuhrta w-where we're experiencing - Billy! Hold that thing steady!"

*camera swings side to side showing glimpses of terrified citizens running for cover*

"...where we're experiencing a major earthquake r-right now! It's certainly the strongest I've eve-AAAH!!"

*a nearby shop window shatters*

"...ever been in, and I can certainly sa-"

*static*

er... We appear to have lost Gillian there, so we take you instead to Dwight Alabaster in Kharanwhari Kaglakh - just across the strait from Lehpuhrta - Dwight?

"Good evening, Trent! I'm here on the shore at Kharanwhari Kaglakh and even though it's dark you can still see the distant lights of Lehpuhrta and the waves crashing behind me. These waves have been getting steadily bigger for the last few minutes... in fact, we're just going to move up here, behind the seawall... indicating quite severe activity out on Lehpuhrta. I have local seismologist, Donald Sugarbowl, with me now - Donald, just how big a quake is this?"

"Well, Dwight, it's certainly the biggest to hit the area in many a year! In fact I'd say it... it... oh... shirking... SKIVE!!!"

*Donald stares wide-eyed over the camera, which swiftly pans around to see what has shocked him so badly*

"Donald, what?... uh... ooh... um... I... I can't believe what we're witnessing here, viewers... it-it's like something out of a science fiction movie!"

*With the sound of thunderous underground explosions finally reaching them, Dwight, Donald, and the crew stare dumbstruck at the sight of the island of Lehpuhrta as it severs its ties with the world and rises slowly and majestically into the night sky. A lambent yellow glow shrouds the underside of the landmass, allowing the watchers to see enormous waves crashing beneath it as the sea rushes in to fill the space it has just vacated.*

"This... this is truly amazing, viewers! I really can't find the words to describe this..."

*The island, still rising, begins to travel towards the camera, its sheer size making it appear to move ponderously slow when, in fact, it is already travelling at over one hundred miles an hour.*

[Constantine Malachite's command centre, Lehpuhrta]

+++LEVITATION GENERATORS FUNCTIONING AT OPTIMUM, MAINTAINING ISLAND STABILITY+++

Yes!!!

Oh, Mr Malachite! You did it!

I knew this would work! The "Banana" left more than enough of its propulsion material in the crash site!

Propulsion? Wait - you mean you knew what Bananætherium was all along? How?

I, erm...

+++ATTENTION - SPLORT SIGNAL DETECTED+++

Quickly - return power to the disrupter!

+++ATTENTION - SPLORT SIGNAL NEUTRALISED+++

Alright, computer - let us show Boohubalss what happens when he threatens the good people of Rhanukhan! Manual control!

+++COMPLYING+++

[Twelve hours later, aboard the flagship of the Symyano Fleet]

*Fleetmaster Boohubalss and his aide are overseeing final preparations for the bombardment of Rhanukhan*

There is not long left now - if Chonmiklatt thought I was bluffing he is a bigger fool than I took him for!

It is so, your exaltedness.

*Boohubalss' aide has his attention caught by the small device he always carries*

-GASP!- E-e-e-e-exalted F-f-f-fleetmaster!

What is it now?!

I-I-I... er... y-you sh-should really s-see it f-for yourself, exalted one!

Humph! Main Projection! This had better be- What is this?!!

Ah - scanners c-confirm that the landmass is from the yellow arc's impact site, your exaltedness! It appears to held aloft by the same technology that propelled the yellow arc... a-a-and it is heading this way!

Unbelievable! These miserable creatures really are- wait! They couldn't possibly have come up with this!

Then who, exalted fleetmaster?

Put me in communion with them!

[Constantine Malachite's command centre, Lehpuhrta]

+++LEVITATION GENERATORS FUNCTIONING AT OPTIMUM, MAINTAINING ISLAND STABILITY. GRAVITY FIELD INTACT, NO APPRECIABLE LOSS OF ATMOSPHERE. CURRENT SPEED: 90 KNOTS, ALTITUDE: 50KM+++

Excellent! With any luck the launch didn't cause too much damage on the surface. Hopefully the citizens will forgive me this minor disruption once this is dealt with, eh, Professor?

Let's hope so, Mr Malachite.

+++ATTENTION - SPLORT SIGNAL DETECTED+++

The Glericans are still trying to kidnap Rhanukhani citizens, Mr Malachite!

+++ATTENTION - SPLORT SIGNAL NEUTRALISED+++

They can try all they like, Professor, the disrupter will keep them out. We have more important matters to attend to right now, such as-

+++INCOMING COMMUNICATION+++

Who-?

"CHONMIKLATT! I know that is you approaching!"

Exalted Fleetmaster! I would say it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance... but it's not. I'm Constantine Malachite - I'm sure you study our news broadcasts, so I expect you've seen me befo-

"You try my patience, pitiful creature! I am certain that traitor, Chonmiklatt, is responsible for your new toy - where is he?!"

I honestly have no idea who you're talking about, Boohubalss. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you and your friends to leave now.

"You believe you can threa-"

[Aboard the flagship of the Symyano Fleet]

*Fleetmaster Boohubalss is suddenly distracted by his aide, pointing at the contents of a display and urgently whispering in his ear*

What?! Ah, I see... interesting...

*His lips part in a broad grin*

I want a global broadcast - this should certainly generate an interesting reaction!

[Rhanukhani State News Network Early Afternoon Bulletin]

Good afternoon, viewers. The time is two o'clock and I'm Trent Butterknife bringing you the news all across Sargvilosahnah, thanks to the Rhanukhan OrbiTech satellite communications network!

Today's main headlines:

Castle in the Sky: The island of Lehpuhrta - which spectacularly took to the air last night - is on a final approach towards Rhanukhan Kaglakh and, presumably, a conflict with the Symyano flagship currently overhead! Although nobody knows who is at the controls, speculation falls on the provincial governor, Constantine Malachite, largely because he is one of the few people who could afford such an extravagance! What he hopes to achieve against the Symyano is anybody's guess, but if he has the resourcefulness to pull something like this off then I, for one, believe that Boohubalss and his cronies may just have bitten off more than they can chew! Gillian Towelrail has re-established a connection and will be bringing a report live from the flying island!

Stock Market U-turn: Since his release from custody and now the current speculation regarding Lehpuhrta, shares in companies under the Malachite Evolving Enterprises umbrella - particularly those involved in arms development and manufacture - have been steadily rising in...

*static*

[Simultaneous broadcast on all of Sargvilosahnah's television and radio channels]

*static clears, revealing the wrinkled features of Fleetmaster Boohubalss*

THIS IS FLEETMASTER BOOHUBALSS OF THE SYMYANO HEGEMONY! CREATURES OF THIS WORLD, I KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN OBSERVING THE FLYING ISLAND WHICH, EVEN NOW, APPROACHES MY VESSEL. YOU BELIEVE IT IS UNDER THE CONTROL OF A HEROIC MEMBER OF YOUR PITIFUL SPECIES, HERE TO DESTROY ME AND SAVE YOU ALL. WELL, THIS IS THE FACE OF YOUR 'SAVIOUR'!

*Recent news footage of Constantine Malachite*

WE HAVE OBSERVED YOUR BROADCASTS. THIS CONSTANTINE MALACHITE CREATURE HOLDS A POSITION OF GREAT POWER AMONGST YOUR PRIMITIVE SELVES. YOU ALL KNOW I SPEAK TRUTH!

*The image of Boohubalss is replaced with the file of a Symyano Agent. Although dressed less flamboyantly, the alien looks similar to Boohubalss, with his wrinkled skin, large ears, flat nose, broad, flexible lips and furry body.*

AND NOW, WORTHLESS CREATURES... THIS, IS CHONMIKLATT. ONE OF MY INFILTRATORS SENT HERE SEVERAL ORBITS OF YOUR WORLD AGO IN ORDER TO DISRUPT YOUR SOCIETY AND PREPARE FOR OUR ARRIVAL! IT AMUSES ME GREATLY TO INFORM YOU THAT CONSTANTINE MALACHITE AND CHONMIKLATT ARE ONE AND THE SAME! MY AGENT HAS SERVED ME WELL AND IS NOW RETURNING IN HIS FEARSOME FLYING FORTRESS SO THAT WE MIGHT PURGE THE CITY BELOW TOGETHER!!!

*static, followed by the return of scheduled programming*

[Constantine Malachite's command centre, Lehpuhrta]

Mr Malachite! Say this isn't so!

I... I... curse him! Yes, Professor, I am Chonmiklatt of the Symyano.

But... I l-

Five years ago, when I first established Rhanukhan ArmaTech, I wasn't just new to your country - I was new to this world! Firstplace is so much more than just my original head office.

All this time... the mission... it was all a deception in aid of your Symyano masters!

No!!! Lucy! Everything I've done since we met was because-

Silence! You forget, alien - I am a GBI-2, just like you - I can and will stop you!

*Lucy launches herself at Constantine*

[In his command bunker, His Resplendence, the Supreme Chairman, Horatio J. Prism has been called by Ignatius Lampstand, Director of the Rhanukhan National Security Agency]

"I knew it, Your Resplendence! We have to take Lehpuhrta down immediately!"

I can't order such an attack, Ignatius - the island is covered in Rhanukhani citizens!

"Rhanukhan Kaglakh is full of Rhanukhani citizens too! One group of them won't be seeing out the day at this rate!"

Gn! Malachite! I can't believe you've done this to me!

[Aboard the flagship of the Symyano Fleet]

Exalted Fleetmaster! It has worked exactly as you planned! Observe! These news broadcasts from around the globe, denouncing Chonmiklatt and the Rhanukhanis!

Indeed! By betraying us, Chonmiklatt has actually provided us a greater service than he would have achieved by staying loyal! Where is his island? As soon as it gets close I wish to commence the bombardment!

It has been holding position since the broadcast, exalted one. Perhaps Chonmiklatt has realised his failure?

After he has gone to all this trouble - I doubt that very much! What is he doing over there?

Exalted Fleetmaster! We have received an urgent communion from the infiltrator, Ojundasll! He appears to be having difficulty maintaining control of the nation he has claimed in our name. The one calling itself Nohvrakishnaplermta!

Then this Nohvrakishnaplermta will be the first to feel the might of our ground forces! It is about time we commenced this invasion properly.

As you command, exalted one!

...And I grow bored of awaiting Chonmiklatt's arrival - commence final procedures for the bombardment of the city below!

[In his command bunker, His Resplendence, the Supreme Chairman, Horatio J. Prism is about to make possibly the most difficult decision of his career]

Your Resplendence, the nuclear missile is targeted on Lehpuhrta. The island is currently over Harghattoria province - the whole place is just desert and uranium mines - it's the least occupied area in Rhanukhan. Any delay and we'll be bringing it down over somewhere far more densely populated - we have to act now!

Malachite... you've left me no choice...

[Constantine Malachite's command centre, Lehpuhrta]

*Constantine Malachite and Professor Lucy Sideboard are unashamedly brawling, although Malachite is clearly holding back*

You... alien vermin! I trusted you throughout this!

Lucy! Please! Don't make me- gah!

What?! Kill me?! Like you're going to kill everybody else on this planet?!

I'm not!!!

I know you're not! I won't let you!

+++ATTENTION - SPLORT SIGNAL DETECTED+++

The -unf!- Glericans!

+++ATTENTION - SPLORT SIGNAL NEUTRALISED+++

See - why would I be working to st-ow! - stop the kidnap of Rhanukhani citizens if I was a loyal Symyan?!

I don't know - maybe the Glericans are free of your corruption and trying to save us! It wouldn't be the first thing you've lied about!

I... I've always been as honest as I could risk with you.

Your outrageous explanations for how you'd come by the information about the upcoming Symyano invasion... I never questioned them! I can't believe I let myself be led along just because- no!

Because what? What is it, Lucy?

Stop calling me that - all these years you've only ever addressed me as 'Professor'! You've never seen me as more than just an employee, even though I... ohhh... I loved you, Constantine!

I know, Lucy... I love you too. It's why I did this... all of this... betraying my people... preparing this world to resist... it was all for you - I couldn't bear to see-

+++ATTENTION! SYMYANO FLAGSHIP IS POWERING UP ITS PRIMARY WEAPON+++

No! Lucy! Please! You have to trust me!

I...

[Rhanukhani State News Network Late Night Bulletin]

Good evening viewers. The time is nine o'clock and I'm Trent Butterknife bringing you the news all across Sargvilosahnah, thanks to the Rhanukhan OrbiTech satellite communications network!

Tonight's main headlines:

And Finally?: The deadline has passed and we now await the inevitable. This will probably be my last broadcast from the RSNN studio, here in Rhanukhan Kaglakh, and I'd like to thank each and every one of you, devoted viewers, who have watched and listened to my colleagues and I since this station was established by our fine government just three years ago. Such a short space of time and yet so much has happened... and all of it covered by the RSNN news team! Hopefully, those of us still out on location - science correspondent, Jonathan Spatula; financial correspondent, Wendy Collander; our veteran newshound, Dwight Alabaster, and, of course, our newest team member, political correspondent, Gillian Towelrail - will continue to fly the RSNN flag alongside whoever replaces those of us here in Rhanukhan Kaglakh. I'd like to leave you now with this recording of our first broadcast - a cheerful reminder of happier times!

Goodnight and goodbye, viewers - this has been Trent Butterknife for Rhanukhani State News Network.

[Aboard the flagship of the Symyano Fleet]

Exalted Fleetmaster!!! Chonmiklatt's island has begun to advance upon us again!

At last! Is the primary weapon ready?

It is, your exaltedness!

Then be ready - I want the traitor to witness the destruction firsthand!

[Constantine Malachite's command centre, Lehpuhrta]

Computer! As soon as we're within range I want you to channel the entire output of the levitation generators into a single pulse targeted at the Symyano flagship!

+++WARNING! CANNOT COMPLY. LEVITATION GENERATORS WILL BE TEMPORARILY OFFLINE FOLLOWING DESIRED ACTION+++

I know that, computer - we're just going to have to hope they can be brought back online before we hit the ground! Override all appropriate safety procedures!

Constantine - you can't!

No - but you can, Lucy! I'll be too busy with the attack - I need you ready to save us all immediately afterwards... I know you can do it!

[Aboard the flagship of the Symyano Fleet]

Put me in communion with Chonmiklatt!

At once, Exalted Fleetmaster!

Chonmiklatt! I know you hear me - will you not open up visual communion? I would like very much to see your face as this city is destroyed!

[Constantine Malachite's command centre, Lehpuhrta]

You're not going to destroy Rhanukhan Kaglakh, Boohubalss - in fact, the only thing you'll do today is die!

"Ha! You think to threaten me!!! I have conquered other worlds, Chonmiklatt - you know this and yet you choose to defy me! We have scanned your flying island and there are no weapons of any note! How did you hope to defeat me? Purely with your charm?"

You'll see soon enough, Boohubalss.

"I tire of this - witness the destruction of your precious city, Chonmiklatt!"

My name, Boohubalss - is Constantine! Computer! Fire the gravity pulse, now!!!

+++COMPLYING+++

[Live Broadcast from Rhanukhani State News Network]

Helloooo and good evening viewers! I'm roving reporter, Sophie Futon, here on the streets of Rhanukhan Kaglakh, where it seems that miracles do happen!

For over a day now, the horrified residents of our national capital have lived in terror of the object in the skies above - the Symyano flagship! But, as you can see from this footage recorded just moments ago, it was joined by a second object - the flying island province of Lehpuhrta - which, if earlier reports are to be believed, was also here with destruction in mind!

And destruction it brought - but not to Rhanukhan! Although the footage is shaky, that alone can't account for the curious atmospheric distortion seen... just here... occurring between Lehpuhrta and the Symyano ship. I have no idea what it was - and I'm sure that scientists are speculating already - but its effects were phenomenal! The Symyano flagship was pretty much disintegrated, blasted eastwards as an expanding cloud of rubble where hopefully it will come down in the Shramortoghmuli Ocean, miles fro- waitaminute - the yellow glow under Lehpuhrta... Tim - get me a shot of the island! Oh... my... it's coming down!!!!

Sophie Futon, Rhanukhani State News Network (Rhanukhan - 21:10, 20/04/08)

[In his command bunker, His Resplendence, the Supreme Chairman, Horatio J. Prism is suddenly regretting the most difficult decision of his career]

Malachite! You're incredible - you've saved everyone! Abort that missile launch and get me in contact with him!

Y-your Resplendence, the nuclear missile is already away!

But...! Can't we call it back??!!!

[Constantine Malachite's command centre, Lehpuhrta]

+++WARNING! LEVITATION GENERATORS OFFLINE! GRAVITY FIELD OFFLINE! ISLAND SURFACE ATMOSPHERE LOSS CRITICAL! RECOMMEND DESCENT TO LOWER ALTITUDE! DESCENT RATE CRITICAL! IMPACT WITH PLANETARY SURFACE IN-

Shut... up... computer!!! Lucy! We need the levitation generators back!

I'm working on it, Constantine!!! That pulse wave completely burned out the generators at the eastern end of the island and I need to-

Just do it! Computer! I want full manual control ready for me the instant we have power!

+++COMPLYING+++

+++WARNING! INCOMING MISSILE ATTACK DETECTED!+++

Now?!!! What happened? Did Boohubalss survive?!

+++NEGATIVE. SYMYANO FLAGSHIP COMPLETELY DESTROYED. MISSILE ORIGIN: RHANUKHAN+++

Oh no! Prism must have believed Boohubalss' broadcast! Lucy!!!

[Live Broadcast from Rhanukhani State News Network]

This is Gillian Towelrail... on the flying - ha! On the falling island... of Lehpuhrta! Billy! Are....are you getting... all this?

The air... it's being sucked away by the speed... of our descent! It looks like everybody's... screaming... hard to hear... feeling... light-headed...

I hope... hoped to report everything... all the way down... what a story! Billy! Are... are you... Billy?...

Gillian Towelrail, Rhanukhani State News Network (Lehpuhrta - 21:10, 20/04/08)

[On board the Symyano vessel over Nohvrakishnaplermta]

Put me in communion with the Fleetmaster!

At once, Shipmaster Coohudalss!

Exalted Fleetmaster! The ground force is ready to descend - we await only your order!

Shipmaster Coohudalss! The flagship does not respond!

What?! Why not?

*Coohudalss' aide consults the small device he carries and suddenly looks up in shock before barking an order at a junior officer*

You! Confirm this at once! Shipmaster - there are reports from the primitive creatures below that suggest the flagship has been destroyed!

Impossible!!!

Glerican Splort Command

"We just don't have that kind of power available on short notice, Doctor!"

"But, whatever was blocking the splort signal has gone! You saw the news - Mr Malachite is a hero! We could save all of Lehpuhrta by returning it to the Eruhani Ocean!"

"Mr Malachite was probably the one who's been blocking all our efforts!"

"We can't let Lehpuhrta crash into Rhanukhan Kaglakh! Millions of people will die!"

A security technician runs in.

"It might not get the chance - we've just had reports of a nuclear missile heading for it!"

"A missile! Oh, my god!"

"Doctor... I think I've just come up with a way to kill two birds with one stone!"

[Constantine Malachite's command centre, Lehpuhrta]

+++ATTENTION! MISSILE NEUTRALISED+++

What the...? Neutralised? How, computer?

+++SIGNAL CONSISTENT WITH SPLORT-BASED ATTACK DETECTED – ATTEMPTING TO DETERMINE ORIGIN+++

Splort? It couldn't be...

+++SPLORT SIGNAL POINT OF ORIGIN: GLERICA+++

But... that must mean...!

+++ATTENTION! LEVITATION GENERATORS ONLINE, FUNCTIONING AT 91.7% CAPACITY. ATTEMPTING TO STABILIZE ISLAND. GRAVITY FIELD RESTORED, ATMOSPHERE CURRENTLY EQUALIZED WITH EXTERNAL PRESSURE AND TEMPERATURE - RECOMMEND DESCENT TO LOWER ALTITUDE! CURRENT DESCENT SPEED: 60 KNOTS AND SLOWING, ALTITUDE: 12KM. ESTABLISHING MANUAL CONTROL+++

Lucy! You did it!!! Come up here! Computer - take us down to 1 kilometre and see about restoring the island's atmosphere.

Constantine! I'm so sorry I doubted you! You've done it! You... you've saved Rhanukhan!

No, Lucy... we've taken out one ship - it won't be long before the Symyano shipmasters elect a new fleetmaster from amongst their number... and then the war will really begin!

But...?

Hush - that can wait until tomorrow! I've waited a long time for this moment...

Constantine?

Lucy.

*The two lovers finally enjoy their first kiss... and probably whatever follows, but you'll never know because - just like the best cheesy films - the camera fades to black...*