Regions of the DSA as defined by the Commonwealth Bureau of Security and Intelligence
The Commonwealth Bureau of Security and Intelligence, famous for their World Factbook and sadistic sense of humour, has posted its biannual report on the state of the DSA, both in the realms of security and politics. The report as tabled before l'Assemblâ Naçonal by Minister of Defence Martin Jacova is below.
Nations covered: Aeoliland, Free Canary Islands, New Andureo, Nydaria, Ritchardville, Tomes, the United Low Countries
Leadership in Preface celebrate "secant plate" in Minister of "Pole Clay" election. CBSI remains puzzled.
Ritchardville officials still preparing to found The WA Delegate of Ritchardville III.
Nations covered: Kujan-Bulak, Marijuanalahara, Mettia
Leadership in Vapobongpipensmokhen still high. Nothing else to report.
Nations covered: Arcomo, Daishama, Herrebrugh, New Bazlantis, Xingal
Deposed King Jozef III "thinking about taking up hunting." Commissariat yet to respond.
Pretty unicorns spotted puking up rainbows in Daishama; unicorns managed to evade capture by CBSI.
Nations covered: Giraffe Republics, Pays de Paix, Teriyaki-Barbecue Chicken Wings, Terlibe
Teriyaki-Barbecue Chicken Wing exports continuing as normal, despite declining giraffe populations.
Pays de Paix and Terlibe remain at war. Terlibian President Theodore Franklin last seen in Brightsea, Gervase, "enjoying the view."
Nations covered: Horgr, Huntertopia, Kandorith, Kiptoke, Ruselia, Sarameui
Kiptokian leaders have lost their marbles. A complete search of the Kiptokian National Congress chamber is underway.
Kandorese Emperor still divine; CBSI still bored.
Ambassadors from Horgr and Transalpine Republic caught snogging in the men's toilet of the DSA Congress building.
Nations covered: Arahu, Epicion, Javandria, Lemur Isles, Sodankyla
Epicion's Emperor still trying to convince himself that it's all a dream.
Sodankylan phone books smelling of urine; overturned litter boxes strewn across the nation.
Nations covered: Fishing Boat Proceeds, Gervase, Grobladonia, Karu Islands, Pisces Meridian, the Saint James Islands, United Federation of Canada
Three humans found bound and gagged in a janitorial closet in the People's Assembly building in Groblaburg.
Chester Pearson's mouth still the size of Serinago.
Prime Minister Hennessey asks Gervasians "can't we just share" Chamangol before being laughed off the phone line.
Nations covered: Banished Zone, Caravaggio, Europaea, Royal Usha, Sariterres, Verince
Royal Usha still ridiculously big.
Nations covered: Capitol of the DSA, Crito313, Fyrossarian, Haltari, Hot Skitty on Wailord Action, Jotunland, Laevendell, Liossalde, Opalaland, Ratateague, Rutannia
People of Jotunland freaking out as nation descends into anarchy; bush fires still being put out.
Hot Skitty on Wailord Action still incapable of doing anything.
Nations covered: Corujea, Marxhaven, the Remean Lordship, South Jarvis
Owlbears sighting in the forests of Corujea. Only two CBSI agents escape; rest hugged to death.
Nations covered: Cluj Napocea, Djubrovnikov, Onirianc, Suceavija, Vlazniczek, Zolkorovanka
Benevolent Dictator for Life still certifiably insane, insists that saki monkey is foreign minister.
Nations covered: Fridathebulldog, Gallifrax
CBSI agents get lost at sea attempting to approach Gallifrax coast; cause unknown.