All MLB Mascots Ranked Worst to Best

Mascots, Everybody Loves Em.

Some even say their the best part of baseball!

Well, atleast somebody said that at one point, idk.

Anyways, here’s my opinion on every MLB mascot ranked from worst to best.

IN MY TOTALLY UNBIASED OPINION!

Number 28 is the New York Yankees.

Their mascot isn’t around anymore, so their isn’t much pictures about him.

His name is Dandy.

Get it? Like Yankee Doodle Dandy?

*ba-dum-tiss* 🥁

…

I DIDN’T COME UP WITH THAT JOKE, OKAY!?

He also has a Mustache, which makes no sense due to the No Mustache Policy the Yankees have.

and it to turns out Dandy is a bird.

i give up 😭

Although if this mascot still existed, I’d like him.

Number 27 is the Mets with Mr. Met

Now, Mr Met is very Popular, and in most rankings he’s put towards the top, I’m not sure why though.

He’s just a baseball head, he’s not that funny, and he came up with the same ideas many other mascots came up with.

Or maybe those mascots copied Mr Met.

Whatever.

Im too lazy to check.

Either way, they’re not that good ideas.

And there’s also Mrs. Met

…

GYATTTTTT- i mean uh..

She’s another baseball head, and is a little funny, but not too funny.

womp womp

but their still a pretty nice couple

Number 26 is the Orioles.

And moving past the fact that I HATE the orioles with EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING!

Their mascot is an.. oriole bird.

duh

I mean, it makes sense, it would be weird if it was something else.

And it’s the only mascot that’s head is the official logo.

But it’s name is…

The Oriole Bird.

If you’re making such an uncreative mascot, atleast make a creative name.

It should be something like…

Well, I’m not the one whose job it is to come up with names for the oriole mascot.

But whoever’s job it is though that they hired to come up with the name for the mascot should be fired IMMEDIATELY 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

So anyways..

wait what does that flag say?

“Orioles division champions”?

EWWW

how old is that photo??

Number 25 is the Texas Rangers with Captain Ranger.

Wait- it’s rangers captain?

You gotta be kidding me! Captain Ranger sounds so much better..

Okay.. anyways, he’s a horse..

That’s it.

He’s pretty funny, but you don’t hear much about him.

here’s him doing funny stuff

Number 24 is the Cardinals with Fredbird!

So his name is Fred and he’s a bird..

His name is Fred and he’s a bird…

And yeah.

his name is fred and he’s a bird

Now, I dug deeper into Fredbird and realized that “Fredbird” is a play on Redbirds, a nickname for Cardinals. (also the name of their AAA affiliate in memphis.”

Besides that, he’s not really that funny, he just walks around, and just dances and eats people

Now that’s a little funny, but not TOO funny, knowing some Mascots do the exact same thing.

There’s also the Rally Squirrel.

I also dug deeper for the Rally Squirrel, and it turns out how it originated was when a Squirrel ran on the field during the 2011 NLDS.

But I find it pretty stupid, knowing people can smuggle squirrels into the ballpark and put them on the field.

Some other teams stole that idea too.

The tigers have Rally Goose, The Royals have Rally Cat and the Nats have rally Pigeon.

What should the Orioles have..

Like rally Bigfoot?

:O

When Bigfoot walks onto the field, THEN the Orioles will start doing well.

Number 23 is the Detroit Tigers with Paws.

First of all, his costume isn’t very elaborate, as if they were like “we need a mascot!” so they ran to the thrift store and bought a tiger costume.

He did used to have a very active twitter account though.

He posted stuff outta there like every day!

but THIS GUY GETS PAID TO DRESS UP AS A TIGER, SIT IN A AIR CONDITIONED ROOM AND TWEET

I WANT YOUR JOB

im just kidding though, he posted some pretty funny tweets, but he should spend more time being funny on the field than on the internet.

Number 22 is the Blue Shjays! Muy gosh it sure is fon to talk like this!

(pretend im using a canadian accent)

Their mascots name is Ace! And at furst you’re like “oh, he’s cool”! But then, things about him don’t make any sense!

Like what are those, pants?

Last time oi checked, Blue Jays dont woear ripped pants!

And you would think the logo would look a little like the Mascots head, NO! They look nouthing alike!

There was also Ace Junior, which is just like Ace but just a Little Bit Shorter and Stumpier..

There used to be a female version of him named Diamond, but they got rid of her..

Damn misogynists..

Anyway, his name is Ace, just like Ace Pitcher.. and there’s gambling down there.

But it’s pretty sad how you realize how much people lose their money betting on this team!

Number 21 is the cubs with Clark The Cub!

Here’s a little song I made up!

Stop cubs Stop! Stop Cubs Stop! Hey Chicago Whaddya say! Cubs are gonna lose today!

If you don’t already know,

I HATE the cubs.

Even if I did like the cubs though, their mascot is still pretty mid.

They don’t got the power they don’t got the spee-ed!

nana na

Their gonna be the worst in the National League!

duh uhnun nuh nuh nuh

This isn’t the year that the cubs are i i-n!

ah nanana nana

So don’t come down to Wrigley Field!
nana nana

Stop Cubs Stop, Stop Cubs Stop! Somebody go grab a mop because Joe Madden just Threw up!

Clark doesn’t try to be funny, he just takes picture with people.

Although I do like his sense of humor.

Number 20 is the Royals With Sluggerr..

i think he spelled it wrong

Compared to some mascots, that’s a hilarious pun!

Sluggerr.. isn’t funny at all.

And SLUGGERRR’s costume is lame, he just has a head and arms!

All Sluggerr does is just wave the flag when the Royals win.

Although I feel like the only thing cool about Sluggerr is just the crown built into his head.

i also think i have a baseball card that has Sluggerr on it

i do actually

i also have honus wagner

the one that costs 3 million dollars!!!

im just kidding it isn’t worth anything

i dont want anyone breaking into my house for it lolol

Number 19 is the marlins with Billy T. Marlin.

he does look different now due to derek fricking jeter who bought the marlins a long time ago.

Before Derek Jeter

after derek jeter

Before Derek Jeter

after derek jeter

DEREK JETER, WHY MUST YOU GET RID OF EVERYTHING GOOD!

Derek Jeter: because i can >:D

Anyway, the NL East has some really good and Popular Mascots, but i feel like Billy is an exception.

he has a plastic head and these weird hands just gloves and shoes?

yeah they could’ve done a little better with than that

and the only thing he’s pretty much know for is that time a warmup pitch hit a truck he was riding in

but i dont wanna make him sound terrible

he’s okay

Number 18 is the Twins with T.C Bear.

He’s a bear because there’s bears in Minnesota i guess.

idk 🤷

but i feel like he totally copied clark the cubs design.

Or clark copied him??

Either way, both mascots aren’t even that good.

I could think of a MILLION different mascots instead of T.C, like maybe he could have a twin or something? Y’know, since their called the Minnesota Twins

So he’s not really the best mascot

BUT

he did catch that baseball in his mouth one time

now that

that’s pretty impressive when you’re in a mascot head

so that’s why he’s here

Number 17 is the San Francisco Giants With Lou Seal!

It makes sense that it’s a seal because it’s in San Francisco, and the mascot is pretty big because they’re literally called the “Giants”.

He’s pretty funny, but not too funny where you can literally burst out laughing.

Like is it a boy named “Loo Seal” or a boy named “Lou seal”

like

WAAAUGHHH

but im gonna be flat out honest

i miss the crab

Number 16 is the Chicago White Sox With South Paw.

His name is Southpaw because it’s the south side of Chicago or something.

But I have no clue what he is.

Is he like a monster or an alligator???

Im kind of on the fence here, so that’s why they go right here

speaking of the white sox, you’d think they would have WHITE SOCKS

but no

THEY WEAR BLACK SOCKS

THINGS LIKE THESE DRIVE ME CRAAAAZYYYYY

Number 15 is the Padres with the Swinging Friar!

they should’ve kept the chicken though

the chicken was a way funnier mascot 😭

if they kept the chicken they would be higher on my list

BUTT 🍑

I gotta admit, the swinging Friar is pretty cool too

it’s like this “singing friar” but it’s the swinging friar

*ba-dum-tiss* 🥁

And in addition to that, he’s unique.

He’s funny

…

and funny looking..

I still like him though.

Number 15 is the Mariners with Mariner Moose!

He’s a moose because there’s Mooses in Seattle i guess.

It’s Moose Not Mooses!

THATS WHAT I MEANT MOM

she’s an english teacher

but i like how the mariners mascot is a moose.

although i also feel like the mariners mascot should be something like a fish

yknow

because the mariners kinda sounds aquatic so i dont really know

maybe it can be a side mascot or something

either way i like the moose.

he has a fuzzy head, he’s funny and wholesome

They did pull a Oriole Bird with that name though, whoever came up with it should be FI- wait did i already use that joke

Number 13 Is the Guardians/Indians with Slider.

The reason he’s up here is NOT because i love the Indians the most, it’s because he’s funny.

And if you’re wondering what he is if you’re blind, he’s a pink monster.

But is he “Slider” like the pitch, or is he a “Sliiider”?

*ba-dum-tiss* 🥁

aha im SO funny

although i WANNA hate this mascot, there’s nothing bad to say about him.

So you know what? Nevermind.

I love him.

They also have the Racing Hotdogs, why not?

Number 12 is the Athletics with Stomper.

First of all, the “Athletics” is the worst name for a team EVER.

And second off all, why is their Mascot an Elephant?

The A’s have always had an obsession over Elephants, it was in every logo and stuff.

WHAT THE HECK

their like the least athletic animal you can think of, they can’t even jump!

But I like Stomper, he’s funny.

And I mean, i dont not like stomper.

Either way, i like this mascot.

11 is the Rockies with Dinger!

He’s a purple triceratops because they found a lot of Dinosaur Fossils near there, and I just love this mascot.

Why you may ask?

i just do

He’s wholesome and funny, and also cute.

Time for the top 10.

Number 10 is the Diamondbacks!

First we’ve got Baxter the Bobcat.

Some people think it’s kinda weird they’re called the Diamondbacks when their mascot is a Bobcat.

well probably it would be kind of hard to make the mascot a snake when they don’t even have arms or legs.

But I think he’s cool, and he does actually do some funny stuff.

And he also Harasses the players, which not much mascots do.

They also have the Luchador, hes kinda creepy so I’m just gonna ignore him.

They also have the racing legends!

They’re kinda full of themselves, but I like the idea.

It’s Luis Gonzalez, Matt Williams, Randy Johnson and Mark Grace.

They’re kind of cool to watch.

And I like the fact how each of them have different Diamondbacks uniforms so you can tell which one is which from each era.

Number 9 is the Reds!

Now, there’s a few mascots the reds have.

First, they have Mr. Red, remind you of anybody?

Then they have Rosie Red.

And Mr. RedLegs..

And Gapper!

A red monster.

I mean, why not?

They are the reds, why not have a red monster as one of their mascots?

I like the fact how it’s a whole family of mascots.

And best of all, they race!

Yep, the reds have good mascots!

By the way, i know what i was saying about baseball heads, but i was referring to Mr. Met.

Mr. Met is different.

Number 8 is the Tampa Bay Rays with Raymond!

I’ve always liked Raymond, you might think it would be kind of hard to make a ray into a mascot when rays aren’t fluffy and don’t have arms or legs.

But you can still tell what he’s supposed to be.

I like Raymond, he’s one of my top ones

The Rays also have DJ Kitty

Nothing says Tampa Bay like a DJ Cat!

Heck, im a cat Person!

wait where’s my pet cat

GARFIELD NO DONT MESS WITH THAT

NOOO-

Number 7 is the Pirates.

They used to have Captain Jolly Roger, but my friend told me he didn’t exist anymore.

So now their main mascot is pirate parrot.

It’s a green parrot who wears lipstick for some reason.

But that’s not who I’m talking about right now.

I’m talking about the RACING PIEROGIS!

It’s Cheese Chester!

Jalapeño Hannah!

Sauerkraut Saul!

The Highly Intelligent Oliver Onion! 🤓

And My Personal Favorite, Bacon Burt!

Yep, they’re one of the best racing mascots in baseball! They’re almost as good as the racing presidents, but not quite.

For a sponsor, it’s very amusing!

Number 6 is the Nats with Screech Bird!

Now this mascot isn’t the funniest, but is still pretty funny.

He has a birthday once in a while..

Puts on a rain coat when it’s raining…

And puts on pajamas when there’s an extra inning.

Which is understandable, knowing how much extra innings the Nats have to do knowing their defense is horrible.

But Screech isn’t the only mascot I’ll be talking about here.

Im also gonna be talking about the RACING PRESIDENTS!

Packed with funny moments!

Packed with betrayal..

And many more!

Presidents Including!

George Washington! 👨‍🦳

Honest Abe! 😱

WHT! 🎉🎉🎉🎉

Theodore Roosevelt! 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

And last but not least…

THOMAS JEFFERSON

Number 5 is the Red Sox with Wally The Green Monster!

Since we all know the Green Monster in Left Field..

Their mascot is a..

You guessed it!

Green monster.

There was also Teresa the Green Monster..

And Righty and Lefty!

Y’know.. since there’s the right and left of socks?

yeah those are some nice mascots

if i was a red sox fan

actually no i would never wanna be a red sox fan

either way the mascots are good

Number 4 is the Braves!

La, La-lala… lalala.. lalala.. hmmm..

DAMN IT! I HATE IT WHEN I CATCH MYSELF SINGING THAT!

Now, the Braves have a brief history of Mascots.

Firstly they had “Chief Noc-A-Hama

That was pretty controversial, so they released a baseball head named “Homer”.

Like “Homer, The Free And The Brave!”

And around 5 years ago, they made the most recent mascot called Blooper.

Some people say he’s a somewhat hybrid between Shrek, Beaker The Muppet and Odie From Garfield, while others believe he copied the Phillie Phanatic entirely.

idk, he’s pretty funny.

Here’s a time where he asked Manny Machado for his Autograph, but was actually a check for 300 million bucks!

They also have the Freeze!

A Jamaican Track star who races fans in between innings, which is pretty easy for him, knowing half of the fans are drunk.

He gives the fan a head start, but always manages to catch up.

wow, can’t beat the freeze.

such a good original idea

i think i can beat the freeze though

without a head start.

Theres also the Racing Tools, but I don’t wanna get deep into that.

Number 3 is the Brew Crew!

They have a lot of mascots, but I’m starting with the nice and original Beer Barrel Man.

Other people think he’s kind of lame, but I think hes cool.

I’ve always liked this mascot, hes very unique, and even if the Brewers JUST had beer barrel man, I’d still put him towards the top.

But there’s more.

Like the racing sausages!

It’s a race between a Polish Sausage, an Italian sausage, a Hot Dog, a Chorizo and a Bratwurst.

And their so fun to watch!

But best of all is Bernie Brewer!

He goes down this huge slide above the stadium each time a brewer hits a home run.

gosh it would be SOO much fun to be bernie brewer

id get to go down that slide

the only hard part would be pretending to be happy when the brews win 😐

Number 2 is the Phillies, and I hope you know this one!

The Phillie Phanatic!

now i love the Phillies

and the reason i love the phillies is because of this goofy mascot

let me explain

He does some pretty crazy stuff.

He’s gotta be drunk.

He rides around on a tractor.

(dont attempt that)

He shoots hotdogs into the crowd.

And pours popcorn on Mets fans!

I LOVE IT ALL!!

wait..

im going to a mets game…

There’s also the Galapagos Gang.

They dance!

They scare away kids!

And they eat people!

Now all of that is pretty cool, but I don’t get what Galapagos have to do with Philadelphia. 🤷‍♂️

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST!

NUMBER 1 IS THE HOUSTON ASTROS WITH ORBIT!

HES SO FUNNY!

How is he funny you ask?

PFFT!

HOW IS HE NOT FUNNY!

Twin fight! >:D

Let’s go Houston!

If only I was as funny as orbit..

If I had a life.

Wait, if I didn’t have a life I’d be dead.

nevermind!

Right in the kisser!

Gee… i could watch orbit videos all day!!

*passes out*

Mets factbook coming soon!

honorable mention: youppi!