by Max Barry

Latest Forum Topics




by Erasmognome. . 413 reads.

[TOP SECRET] Black Market WA Committee Abductions

[To any moderators or admins reading: This is a satirical factbook entry, and is not true to any extent.]

A gnome reduced to a number by the WA

As any member nation of the WA will tell you, committees within the World Assembly are staffed by gnomes that spring into existence after the proposal becomes law. Every player within the game has been systematically and purposely led to believe that these gnomes serve their life's purpose on this committee, being created as soon as the proposal becomes law and disappearing if it is ever repealed. This system has been so far ingrained into the mind of every WA nation by repeated statements of how the system works by mods and sympathetic players alike. In the topic, "GA Proposal Compedium: Rules & General Advice", by the prominent Moderator Kryozerkia, the system under which the committees work is explicitly stated: "Membership on the committee is reserved for mystical WA gnomes who spring into existence after the proposal becomes law". This system for the existence and functioning of the WA committees has been so pervasive in the NationStates psyche that any further questioning or investigation has been virtually nonexistent. We, as a community, wholeheartedly believe the story that WA committees truly are staffed by quasi-tangible gnomes that are only existent for the purpose of the act for which they were created.

This story is a lie.

The truth is simple: The Moderators steal the gnomes in a complex and insidious black market trade throughout ErasmoGnome. The conspiracy of the underground market runs so deep that even most Mods do not know of its existence, having long ago bought the woefully spun tale of the mystical WA gnomes. It happens very simply: Each time a WA Act is passed that creates or expands a committee, gnomes throughout ErasmoGnome are surreptitiously vetted based on their intelligence, political aptitude, and prominence in ErasmoGnomen society. If they are intelligent enough to be competent yet not prominent enough to be too noticed if they go missing, they are snatched with no warning in the night away from their families and lawns. From there, they are stripped of their identity and names and fully converted into the mindset and perspective of an internationally neutral gnome - not only a shadow of their former selves, but a hollowed husk of a gnome. All we know of this process comes from a lone escapee who returned to ErasmoGnome to tell and record his story. He survived three days before being assassinated by a Violetist task force, smashed to pieces by a hammer while he was reuniting with his pet flamingo. From then on, the ErasmoGnome government has launched a surveillance force to root out the cause that has thus far met no success in penetrating the deep veil the Moderators have cast over the committees of the WA.

The next time you see a committee being proposed in the WA, think of the gnomes. Think of the heartless destruction of so many lives just so the international community can get another petty regulation. Vote AGAINST on all resolutions with committees in them. And most importantly, help spread the word. If you fear Moderator repercussions for helping to spread the truth of these WA committees, simply denounce the resolution as "a blatant and excessive violation of national sovereignty" or "A meaningless regulation that only adds to the bureaucracy of the WA". It's the cool thing to do anyway these days. And remember, if you see a delegate denouncing a resolution for being too intrusive on national sovereignty, they might be trying to subvert a horrible fate for gnomes as well. Every time you see someone striking down a resolution for simply the reason of national sovereignty remember the gnomes - and support them.