by Max Barry

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by The Guy who made jeff elite of Anxiety Cafe. . 626 reads.

The Global Trade Fair, 2023

It is a bright, sunny, slightly green-tinged new age in which we will awaken tomorrow, for the Sun Kingdom and her allies have prevailed over the insidious servants of Lilith and all other competitors in their quest to amass the largest uranium stockpile the region, nay, the universe has ever seen. Over the course of the Fair, the Jellyfish Elite Fighting Force fought zealously to deprive their opponents of every single lump of uranium possible, seizing upon newcomers and puppets alike to inspect the contents of their stockpiles. 

Through these brave efforts, the combined might of JEFF accrued the world’s single largest nuclear stockpile in history: 2,766 lumps of Uranium, over 600 more than their closest rival. JEFF also bested all but one in its sidequest to establish a monopoly over Coffee Beans; all but two (one of which being an ally) in its attempts to moderate the global currency with Gold Bullion; and again, all but two in its stash of Gas Centrifuges, which were stored suspiciously close to the Uranium stockpile.


It is thanks to the fearsome (and, according to some, rabid) members of JEFF and their allies that we can thank for these victories: [region]Democritus[/region], [region]Liberal Democratic Union[/region], [region]The Region That Has No Big Banks[/region], [region]InterLeft[/region], and [region]Liberty Democratic Alliance[/region]. A special shoutout to [nation]United Democratic Christian States[/nation] for organizing this behemoth of an alliance, and to our dearest Sun King, [nation]New Metropolitan France[/nation], for leading [region]Democritus[/region] into victory one last time. 

Long Live the Sun King! Long Live the Solar Autocracy!