by Max Barry

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by The Republic of Melenavenia. . 97 reads.

A Note From Yours Truly, The Aggressive F-250 Driver

I saw someone ask, why would you want to vote for someone like me?

Someone who craves the fear of every other driver on the road?

Someone who laughs in the face of death with every radical maneuver I make?

Someone who's tail pipe alone accounts for more than three times your carbon footprint?

Someone who could run over a small crowd and only feel a little bump?

Someone who cares not for the life of those around them?

Someone who will kill to arrive at their destination a few seconds sooner?

Someone who will casually run you off the road for driving "too slowly"?

Someone who's truck bed could overflow with my victims, and would still not care?

Someone who is very real (*tail pipe sputter*--Fan Fiction) and can crash through your room's wall at any moment--killing you instantly?

Because the road is my domain, just as the sky is the domain of the bird.

I own it, it is mine.

I choose who gets to share it with me.

And maybe, if you vote for me--I will spare you.

Just one more time.

This is your decision to make, my hands are off the wheel.

The Republic of Melenavenia