by Max Barry

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by The Good Morning Friendos of Tiralta. . 129 reads.

The SILLY LAWS Act, 2022

This was written for the 2022 Refugia Factbook Writing Competition

The Summarising Irrelevant Longstanding Legislation of Yesteryear Legalised After Widespread Support, or SILLY LAWS Act, 2022

PREAMBLE: The Good Morning Friendos of Tiralta, understanding that democracy and progress require the legislation of this nation to be a living document, and therefore that laws must also change with the times we find ourselves in,

Wishing to reduce the pressures on the judicial system, in part caused by the multitude of outdated and archaic laws passed by previous generations of Tiraltan governments,

Acknowledging the countless letters, phone calls, and emails that representatives have received from their constituents on the matter of such laws, as well as protests across the nation from various communities, including the now-famous Pigeon Dropping Protest staged in Balideena by the pupils of St Colm's High School,

Hereby repeals the following legislation:

The Handling of Pigeon Droppings Act, 1832
This legislation was introduced after an outbreak of Pigeonella, a now-extinct disease affecting spruce trees. Originally thought to be caused by improper disposal of droppings from homing pigeons, this law made it illegal to leave pigeon droppings within 30 feet of a spruce tree. This had the unfortunate consequence of people who happened to walk past wild pigeon droppings within this range of said trees being prosecuted if they did not immediately pick them up. As a side effect of this legislation being repealed, Bird Dropping Identification will also no longer be a compulsory subject choice as part of the National Curriculum.

Concerning Propriety and Ghosts, 1409
This legislation which was supposed to be called Concerning Property and Ghosts was intended to ensure that potential buyers of a residence or other building were informed if the structure had, or was likely to have ghosts. Due to the spelling error in the title however, it was widely misread and taken to mean that buyers of a property had to greet potential ghosts through a series of intricate and confusing rituals, whether they existed or not, upon making an agreement of a sale. As a result, prospective buyers will no longer be required to follow these rituals in order to complete a purchase.

The Border Agreement of 1596
This border agreement made it illegal to cross from Tiralta into Chacapoya "by foot or on horseback, else ye shall be stoned." As many eagle-eyed legislation fans noted in countless letters to representatives, newspapers and popular blogging website Mid when the SILLY LAWS Act, 2022 was initially proposed, Chacapoya is an island not connected to Tiralta by any structure and so this law is among the most unnecessary in Tiraltan legislative history. It had also lead to some people avoiding travelling to Chacapoya out of fear that stepping off a boat could be construed as crossing into the country by foot. This government is pleased to confirm that Tiraltan citizens may freely travel to Chacapoya by all methods except air, as per the Chacapoyan Airspace Sovereignty Accords.

The Gallium Straw Act, 1972
This act was passed in a hurry after public outcry following rumours that gallium straws were being handed out with the traditional drinks given to children on Griya's Day. This horrified the nation when it was discovered that gallium's melting point is below the typical human temperature range and it was believed that children were being intentionally poisoned by straw manufacturers in an attempt to sell plastic straws which were cheaper to make, and so manufacturers were banned from including gallium in their straws. Although these rumours still persist, no evidence has been found to suggest that this was ever true. Additionally, more recent legislation such as the Safer Materials Act 2003 is satisfactory to prevent such a thing from ever occurring in future.

A Right and Excellent Dress Code for Girls, 1488
A Right and Excellent Dress Code for Girls, 1488 has long puzzled keen fans of Tiraltan governmental proposals, and much debate has raged in universities and indeed this chamber as to its purpose. The legislation, written in the style of a dressmaking pattern for reasons previously unknown, has finally been decoded and has been revealed to have been a plan by spies within the government at the time to revolt against a planned treaty on import tax. The code was accidentally submitted by one of those spies as a legislation proposal, and, due to a poorly-timed fainting episode by one member of the government, managed to be passed as such. Since the treaty which this plan concerns was scrapped 6 months later anyway, and this legislation has no relevance, nor indeed has it ever, it has been rescinded.

A Treaty on Violet, 1523
Within the context of the time, A Treaty on Violet, 1523 was a necessary agreement between the government of Tiralta and the head of the Violetist Church, which outlawed the dying of the Tiraltan flag with violet dye by those who followed Violetism. The dye, which was highly toxic, ended up in the water systems when the flags were washed, causing widespread illness and death. In the Modern Era, however, we now have access to non-toxic dyes, and so as a symbol of this nation's commitment to freedom of religion, the flag may once again be dyed violet for reasons including but not limited to public protest, religious belief, or aesthetic preference.

The Colour Radio Council of 1966
This legislation, inspired by a negative perception of the mass adoption of colour television and heavily lobbied for by Big Radio, the leading radio production company in Tiralta in the 1960s, sought to establish a council whose sole purpose was to encourage research into the possibility of colour radio in order to encourage sales of radios among younger people. This government now wishes to repeal this act and revoke the existence of this council, and apologises for the use of taxpayer money to fund such biased research into an impossible subject. Citizens will no longer be randomly selected to the Colour Radio Council.