by Max Barry

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DispatchAccountDrama

by Squirreltopia. . 17 reads.

Tragedy at the Squirreltopian Border! [OLD]

BREAKING NEWS:

At the border Squirreltopian border leading into Silver party squirreltopia revolutionary territory, a group of squirrel civilians (about 8) fleeing Silver party squirreltopia were found by soldiers on border patrol, and out of fear, the civilians attacked the squirreltopian soldiers, believing that they were soldiers from Silver party squirreltopia that would force them back into their country, or worse, be executed. As soon as they attacked, the soldiers were ordered to fire at the civilians, killing all but one, who was badly injured after being fired at, believing the civilians were enemy soldiers attacking, after being captured, the sole survivor stated that they were civilians fleeing Silver party squirreltopia. After the tragedy, Sir Squirrelington officially apologized to the sole survivor, offering a free home and also offered 50,000 nuts, the sole survivor of course agreed, but would not forget the event, the leader of the border patrol group was fired and fined 80,000 nuts. Sir Squirrelington addressed the issue, and apologized publicly to the sole survivor, stating that Warfare as well as Paranoia is to blame, if there hadn’t been a revolution within squirreltopia, this wouldn’t had happened. And ended his statement in the now popular phrase “What has the world become?” Indeed, Sir Squirrelington, what has the world become?

The Bigtree Times

Squirreltopia

Edited:

RawReport