by Max Barry

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by The Guy who made jeff elite of Anxiety Cafe. . 479 reads.

The Global Trade Fair, 2022

As the sun sets on the last day of the Global Trade Fair, his Holy Majesty Rex Solis Imperatorque Democriti stands ever stronger with the second largest nuclear arsenal in the world: a whopping 1,937 lumps of uranium. The Sun King's minions worked tirelessly throughout the entirety of the Fair, rushing from region to region, nation to nation, and puppet to puppet to inspect the contents of their belongings for even the slightest hint of uranium - not a single second of the Fair went by without a dutiful servant of the Sun King laboring towards the completion of His Divine Will.

His Solar Eminence left significant autonomy in the hands of his minions. Some carefully watched the entrance to the Fair, seizing upon all newcomers in their search for uranium. Others took a more indirect route, arming themselves with inspector uniforms and sticky labels to boost their own uranium operations. More still kept close watch on the activity logs, using immense skill, wit, and determination as they battled and counter-inspected competitors for every single lump of uranium they found. And some, in the final day of the Fair, registered themselves into the fair again and again under different aliases, hoping to chance upon some uranium to add to the Sun King's ever-growing stockpile.

These efforts, all complementary, all in the service of His Radiance, led to one of the proudest moments in the history of Democritus:

Democritus became the only region in the history of the Fair to roust the army of Suspicious from its #1 spot in any of the 12 categories, albeit temporarily. And although the Sun King's dedicated servants were ultimately defeated in this quest, Democritus exited the Fair with 1,937 lumps of uranium in total, over 1,100 more than the next-ranked region. What the Sun King intends to do with this amassed uranium is a mystery; perhaps to protect all from the Federalist threat, perhaps as food for the all-powerful ever-immortal forever-consuming Jellyfish—but all who serve Him rest assured that it will be used for the betterment of humanity.

Long Live the Sun King! Long Live the Solar Autocracy!

*Also, a big congrats to Suspicious for all their hard work and for keeping up the good fight!

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