» Favorite Issues & Quotes

Headlines:
»02/26/22: Following new legislation in Xana Arkadia, the question of 'what is X's favorite color?' has been given a priority rating of burnt-orange.
»08/07/23: Following new legislation in Xana Arkadia, police officers find government bureaucracy more terrifying than most serial killers.
»08/07/23: Following new legislation in Xana Arkadia, the government is ignoring the latest terrorist atrocities in Area X-3 for fear of causing a fuss.
»08/28/23: Xana Arkadia has been recently classified as an international menace after 'liberating' several nearby territories.
»08/30/23: Wars are filled with soldiers wielding machetes and chainsaws for safety reasons.
»08/30/23: Social networking sites have discussion groups devoted to planning terrorist attacks.
»10/02/23: The aims of top-secret Arcadian science projects revolve around designing the perfect robot woman.
»11/03/23: At least 1% of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs budget goes to X's wardrobe.
──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────

Misc. Newspapers:
»10/05/23: Man Dies in Hospital Waiting Room
──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────

Nation descriptions:
»00/00/00: Placeholder
──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────

Issue #:936 - Hackable Elections?
Option 4: “Folks, I’m very respectful of the XABI. But they’re whining idiots who’re making a big fuss over nothing,” pouts your Minister of International Trade, his toupee bobbing about as he talks. “We won, okay? We had a beautiful, flawless campaign. Now, everyone says Blackacre rigged our booths, but where’s their proof? And does it matter? We did the right thing from a moral standpoint. We got elected, no matter how. And Xana Arkadia is reaping the benefits. Bigly. We should boost our ties to Blackacre with a huge trade deal. If Blackacre did this, believe me, they’re like Arcadian patriots.”

Issue #:1244 - Mooning the Flag
After their successful moon landing, Dàguó astronauts have removed your nation’s flag from the satellite’s rocky surface and replaced it with their own.
Option 3: “H-h-hold on, X,” stutters Stephanie Cruz, your Minister of Cowardice. “Don’t we have more than enough problems to handle on our own planet? You should publicly congratulate Dàguó on their technological breakthroughs, and politely ask their ambassador for the flag back.”
[Headline: Astronauts take one small step for Xana Arkadia and one giant step backward from confrontation.]

Issue #:799 - A Political Cock-Up
“Don’t you think this is taking things a bit far?” queries the minister in question, nervously. “It’s a low-quality video and that could be anyone’s... Okay, it was me. But I don’t do it anymo— Okay, I still do it, but it’s biology that made me this way! Can you blame biology? X, you can’t deny that I satisfy you with the job I do, so why should it matter how I spend my leisure time?”

Issue #:1457
[...] your Census Director runs up to you in the parking lot, shouting that large numbers of people are putting false information on their census forms.
Option 1: “Orange Alert, X! We have a Level 3 census emergency!” Your confused look gives him pause. “Did you not memorize the color-coded Demographics Alert System that I sent you? Our census has a question about religious affiliation, but far too many people aren’t taking it seriously. [...]"
[Issue thrown out.]

Issue #:
Placeholder for format.