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Dispatch → Bulletin → News
The Petrosyan Legacy
Also, this dispatch uses the MM/DD/YY format. Liberal non-Americans owned!
(Theme: Clown, Nameless chess copypasta)
(Theme: San Francisco Giants vs Los Angeles Dodgers)
(Theme: 2021 Callistan PM Election)
(Theme: Card farming)
(Theme: Barlyy vs Isle of Wooloo Kingdom)
(Theme: Spam)
(Theme: Baloominati vs Mathuvan Union and Poskukune)
(Theme: Grammatically correct)
(Theme: Baloominati membership)
(Theme: God vs me)
(Theme: Callista vs The Vincence Empire's Minecraft Realm-based SMP)
(Theme: 2020 US Presidential election)
(Theme: Cleveland Guardians vs San Francisco Giants)
(Theme: Card farming)
(Theme: Wesley So's perspective)
(Theme: Hamilton)
(Theme: Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise copypasta)
(Theme: Quality posting)
(Theme: Manliness)
(Theme: Halo)
(Theme: Hamilton)
(Theme: Barlyy vs Spam)
(Theme: Haruhi Japan vs Barlyy)
Translations have been left out. Sorry Ari and Sori. But at the same time, owned!
The History of the Tigran Petrosian copypasta, in Callista
Some Backstory
In late September of 2020, the world Blitz championships were being held on Chess.com due to the Coronavirus. The finalists were Armenian Tigran L. Petrosian (the alive one) and Filipino-born American Wesley So. During the match Petrosian was continuously looking down at his desk during his play, suggesting that he might be using a chess engine to calculate his best move, yet no one seemed to care. After the round, which Petrosian won, So hinted in a comment that his opponent was cheating, referencing two other Armenian players who had been banned about six months prior. After seeing this, Petrosian responded in a broken, copypasta-esque rant saying the opposite:
In the rant, Petrosian not only made several grammar and spelling mistakes, but also officially invited So to an over-the-board blitz (standard chess) match with a prize fund, to which So agreed. However, such an event is yet to take place. Later that year, an investigation was heled and Petrosian's account on Chess.com was banned for violating the Fair Play policy.
April 2021 and Barlyy
On April 12, 2021, one of Callista's most... um, influential members, AKA Barlyy "Charisma God" "Sad Turkish Man" High Pacifism Man" Loaves (John 6:9) sent me a DM on Discord of the rant. I was originally confused, as I was then not intrested *wink* in the chess world at that time. He explained what happened and linked me to a Reddit post. Later that day, Barlyy posted the copypasta on the RMB:
Of course, the word 'PEE' is used as a substitution for 'PIPI'. Later that day, Barlyy explained what PIPI meant, in a post that has to be translated (don't worry, I did it for you):
These two posts marked the start of the copypasta on the Callista RMB.
July 2021
In mid July, Barlyy, under his alter-ego Quclington, posted the first line of the copypasta, to which I soon followed:
This here is officially the start of my interest in chess and mechanics.
August-November 2022
Not much really happened here regarding the copypasta, or at least anything that was worth putting in the dispatch. Honestly. Nothing happened. Nothing happened. Please scroll now. I beg you. Why are you still reading this? Are you a sick idiot??? Get treatment, crazy. Shoo! Oh wait, I'm supposed to stop typing? Okay then.
December 2021
On December 6, 2021, amidst the "Great Spam" as Arisyan calls it, I, AKA the Charisma God God, posted a modified version of the copypasta, from the perspective of the San Francisco Giants of MLB, against the Los Angeles Dodgers, citing Jose Altuve in the post, a reference to the 2017 World Series:
The variant, somewhat differing on the side of grammar from the original copypasta, sparked numerous other parodies and reportedly made Barlyy go PIPI in his pampers as well. Other subjects of the copypasta variants included the 2022 PM election, card farming, worshipping Baloo, Baloominati propaganda, Baloominati membership, Mitt Rhombus, Wesley So's perspective, and also a gramatically correct version of the original copypasta. This also sparked many references to liers and Alireza Firouzja who is mentioned in the original copypasta as well. In a post,
Sorianora, AKA Baloominati hater stated in a post that the copypasta must get old at some point:
The post, of course, eventually, was suppressed by Barlyy. On December 14th, I had reached my 11,000th post on the site. I decided it would be only fitting to have such a milestone post like this as the original copypasta translated into Turkish, then back to English. Since Google Translate is not completely accurate, and since there were already many errors in the original comment, the copypasta was not 100% perfect.
January 2022
The copypasta still lives on, however. Barlyy and I are the ones who quote it most often, however. Who knows what the future might bring? Will it die? Will it suddenly make a great reappearance? It's up to you. I encourage people to spread the notion of this copypasta throughout the multiverse, and show it to everyone you can! Make sure to upvote this if you liked it.
Special thanks to Barlyy to introducing me to the copypasta and reintroducing me to chess. It's honestly a fun sport (yes, I said it).
Anyway, that's it. I know it is quite short, but I hope you enjoyed the dispatch. And while we're at it, why don't you check out the dispatch on which this one is based?
Current word count including BBCode: 13,186. Upvoting the dispatch is a privilege.
Announcements
Because of my resignation from the PM position from Callista and following my departure from Callista, the history portion of the dispatch will never be updated again.
Introduction, The Baloominati & Its Core Beliefs
Hello, and welcome to the official Baloominati dispatch. This dispatch is where we will add our latest announcements, the latest developments in Balooist history, our newest promises, our current goals, etc. I hope you enjoy the dispatch - lots of work went into it, I can tell you that. The dispatch's contents, formatting, etc. are all handled by Barlyy, the current co-owner and the Pope of the Baloominati.
Now, it's time to talk about the Baloominati & its core beliefs. The Baloominati could be considered a mix of serious and sarcastic - comedic propaganda such as memes are utilized heavily by the Baloominati. When it comes to being serious, however, the Baloominati's core doctrine could be summarized by the following sentence:
The implementation of this policy & its success is easily proven by Callista's current success. The Tsardom of Callista is currently a small/medium UCR with a member count of around ~65 at the moment and has around 80 or more posts posted on its RMB per day. Callista is known for being a very stable and rather peaceful and laid-back region, and this success could be attributed to the Baloominati and its monopoly over Callistan politics. The regions that came before Callista, namely Bluecrown Keep and The Vincence Kingdom are known for being unstable regions that were both short-lived compared to Callista because of the rapid changes that commenced in them and their radical political systems (TVK suffered from authoritarianism and autocracy while BCK suffered from insufficient checks & almost non-existent policing on the RMB). This core belief, along with the charisma the leaders of the Baloominati display, has kept the Callistan people united for more than a year. The Baloominati's honesty, transparency, realism, and efficiency could also be included as other factors to Callista's success. This core doctrine "small reforms over radical revolutions but there are some exceptions" could easily be implemented in other regions as well, which shows the universality and the compatibility of the Baloominati's policies with regions that are different than Callista.
It cannot be said that the Baloominati is "conservative" (or "centrist") since the Baloominati is open to reforms (and revolutions if need be). This is a common misunderstanding of the Baloominati's policies and this misunderstanding should be avoided at all costs. The Baloominati has no distinct "political standing" (such as "leftist", "rightist", "authoritarian", etc.) since its policies adapt to the current situation at all times. The Baloominati aims for a suitable, compatible, and beneficial status quo - one that the majority of the population can be satisfied with - and it will do everything it can do to reach that status quo. That's the reason that the core doctrine includes "[...]no rapid revolutions unless necessary". If the population is not satisfied with the current status quo, it shall be changed. Those are the Baloominati's beliefs.
The Baloominati Branches & Members
The Callistan Baloominati ("The Baloominati Stronghold")
The Callistan Baloominati, officially called "Stronghold", "the Stronghold" or "the Baloominati Stronghold", is the oldest & the most influential branch of the Baloominati (hence the name). It was founded on 03.12.2020 (the same date that the Baloominati as a whole was founded) by Baloo Kingdom and is currently led by Baloo Kingdom and Barlyy.
The Stronghold was the only branch of the Baloominati until recently when different branches started to be founded.
The Stronghold currently controls all positions in the Cabinet in Callista.
The Stronghold has won four elections in a row in Callista.
The Stronghold is made up of the following nations: Baloo Kingdom, Barlyy, Nooooooooooooooo, Caesar Von Bingen, Haroldiaistan, Dominioan, Blitzton, Messenger A, Poskukune, Milt the Hippo, Sorianora, Underfallen, Cormoe
The IOC Baloominati ("The Baloominati Polka")
The IOC Baloominati, officially called "Polka", "the Polka" or "the Baloominati Polka", is the second-largest branch of the Baloominati. It has officially been founded on 18.01.2022, more than a year after the original founding date of the Baloominati, and is currently led by Barlyy and Zarbik.
The Polka is the most controversial branch of the Baloominati, and has never won an election but is currently campaigning for PM in the 02.02.2022 elections.
The Polka has seen the most backlash out of any other branch of the Baloominati after proposing some controversial policies in the 02.02.2022 campaign.
The Polka is made up of the following nations: Briteannia (a puppet of Barlyy), Zarbik, Socialist States of Ludistan, Sorianora, New Ryansville, and The Joeanian Republic.
The Just Relax Baloominati ("The Baloominati Hammock")
The Just Relax Baloominati, officially known as "Hammock", "the Hammock" or "the Baloominati Hammock", is rather undocumented and a minuscule branch of the Baloominati. Its official founding date could be considered the time this dispatch is written, 2_.01.2022, and is solely handled by Zarbik.
The Hammock currently handles WA Affairs in Just relax.
The Laraniem Baloominati ("The Baloominati Hexagon")
The Laraniem Baloominati, officially known as "Hexagon", "the Hexagon" or "the Baloominati Hexagon", is a relatively new and small branch of the Baloominati and could be compared to the Baloominati Hammock. Its official founding date could be considered 15.01.2022 (the release of the Laraniem-Callistan collaboration event dispatch) and is solely handled by Jp morgann (who is a puppet of Barlyy) and Hagston.
The Hexagon currently handles foreign affairs and diplomatic relations between Callista and Laraniem.
The Baloominati: Current Goals & Promises
(DISCLAIMER: This dispatch only includes the current goals and promises of the Callistan Baloominati ("the Baloominati Stronghold") and general policies of the Baloominati. The other branches' individual promises will be included in their own, separate dispatches. X.P means that it is a promise, X.G means that it is a goal.)
1. P.) Start using APIs
APIs are automatic scripts that allow you to send telegrams, perform other actions, etc., and are the only legal way to automatically send telegrams to certain groups of people (except welcome telegrams). After discussing APIs with Cerata, a person who is somewhat experienced with APIs, we have decided that it is a good idea to start using APIs in order to recruit people without having to spend money on recruitment telegrams (most of which get ignored anyway). This is also the only policy that was promised in Barlyy's 01.01.2022 campaign that has not been fulfilled yet.
2. G.)Gain more influence in Institute of Cellulose
IOC could be considered the region that the Callistan government is the friendliest with which makes it an attractive place for the Baloominati to expand its influence. There are already plans in action to further our influence in IOC, most notably the founding of the Baloominati Polka and its 02.02.2022 PM campaign. Several other plans could work as well such as getting a nation in Parliament or the Cabinet.
The Baloominati's History, Month-For-Month
Some Backstory
It could be said that the Baloominati's history starts in Bluecrown Keep. In Bluecrown Keep, there was a very strong and influential political party called The Democratic Torch (but usually shortened to "TDT"). It was the strongest party in the region, and it had almost never lost an election until I, Barlyy, came. The party included lots of then-influential names, such as Sorianora, Plus Nova Imperii, and most relevant to this story, Baloo Kingdom. TDT was a monarchist party that believed in some sort of centrist constitutional monarchy. However, things started going south for the TDT when I joined the political stage.
October 2020 - TDT won the closest election in Callistan history. November 2020 - TDT lost the election to The Prosperity Party (which was led by me). That was the very first loss that TDT has faced in a long time, and it somewhat contributed to Bluecrown Keep's collapse- and, in turn, led to the Baloominati's creation.
November 2020 ---> Turmoil in Bluecrown Keep
After losing the election, Sorianora, the TDT candidate for the November 2020 election, decided to execute "Order Callista", which was something that he apparently was planning on executing for a very long time, and left Bluecrown Keep in order to found his own region, Callista. This led to further instability in BCK, and after some unfortunate events, Barlyy decided to resign as Prime Minister and leave the region. This caused even more instability in BCK, but after a while, Barlyy returned and everything seemed like it was returning back to normal until Barlyy decided to leave BCK once and for all - and this is where the Baloominati starts.
After Barlyy left BCK for the second time, the Cabinet decided that they needed a new Prime Minister and so a "snap election" was held. Baloo created the first iteration of the Baloominati, the "Baloo Party", in order to have a better chance at winning - and he won indeed, but it was too late. Later that day, Dominioan announced that he would completely close down Bluecrown Keep. This made many players grieve over the loss of such a memorable and active region, but after a while everyone calmed down. After being ejected from the region, most members decided to move over to Callista since that's where the majority of BCK immigrated to. Baloo, however, did not join to Callista right away. Baloo did "a tour around the NSVerse" in order to explore other regions but moved to Callista after the tour ended.
December 2020 ---> The Reborn Phoenix
On 08.12.2020, Baloo Kingdom decided that he would make the Baloo Party into a meme and created "the Baloominati" - its logo was, and still is, the Illuminati triangle with the arms and legs of Baloo from the Jungle Book, and Noooooooooo instantly joined the party. People absolutely LOVED the meme - everyone was already talking about how they should expand its influence, make it so that it is mandatory, etc. During this time period, MU and Rome started arguing and after they kept telling each other they should resign one of them resigned (go check Baloo's history dispatch if you want more details), which led to some instability in the region - but nothing too major, thankfully. Barlyy created his own joke party called the "Mafia Party" where the whole premise was that you "had to give Barlyy all of your cards or else you'd be banned". The Baloominati officially proposed an alliance between the two parties, and Barlyy accepted, thus marking the beginning of the Baloo-Barlyy friendship.
January 2021 ---> The Hell Is Going On??
The Baloominati was still a rather small party compared to the Tsarists, the strongest party during that time period which was lead mostly by Plus Nova Imperii - but the Baloominati was certainly growing larger thanks to all of the memes and Baloo getting people to join the party "as a joke" ;). Baloo's cult of personality was also growing thanks to all of the credit he got for not leaving Bluecrown Keep alone during its darkest hours and also for just being a likeable person overall. Folks like Arisyan believed that Baloo was "by far the best regional officer" at the time, and the polls prove that. At the start of January, another election was held which was won by Haruhi Japan... but some of the things here are confusing. According to the waybackmachine, Baloo was instated as Haruhi's LPM, but on the "list of political leaders in Callista", it says that Mathuvan Union was the LPM during Jan 1-Jan 20. I have decided that I will trust the waybackmachine, and I'm just going to say that "Baloo became LPM during January", which certainly contributed to the Baloominati's rapid expansion in Callista. Sadly, the Baloominati was still considered a "joke party", which meant that Baloominati members were not allowed to run under the Baloominati party.
February (and maybe some January) 2021 ---> The Hell Is Going On, Vol. 2 & The Lord And Saviour
Early Callistan politics were absolutely chaotic, and this is just another proof of that. After Haruhi Japan left Callista because of some form of argument and moved over to The Vincence Empire, Mathuvan Union was elected as Prime Minister while Baloo was instated as his Deputy. After some disagreements between then-Judge Arisyan and PM Mathuvan Union, Mathuvan Union suggested that Arisyan be impeached, but this was rejected by literally every citizen in Callista except for Mathuvan Union himself. However, after some disagreements on the dilemma about the embassy Callista had with Old Zealand, and with both the Tsar, Sorianora, and Haruhi Japan, leader of TVE, publically disaggreeing with Mathuvan Union on this dilemma, Mathuvan Union resigned from his position as Prime Minister in Callista, but chose Baloo Kingdom as the PM to replace him - his "interim prime minister". With Baloo finally inside the room where it happens, the Baloominati had all the power in its hands. Baloo Kingdom appointed Caesar Von Binger as his Deputy after a short time passed; however, the beginning of the term is one filled with inactivity in the government. After some sleepy Joseph action, Baloo decided that he would add "sub-ministries" - ministers who are not regional officers but instead deal with smaller affairs such as cards, recruitment, roleplay, etc., and the proposal won a landslide victory even though we never really got to see the sub-ministries in action (except the Cards Council). It was also during this period that Barlyy started personally giving advice to Baloo and telling him how he should deal with particular issues; plus, the cards aspect of the game started getting much more popular here in Callista. February was hard to research, but all you need to know is that Baloo became PM.
March 2021 ---> "Only Here For The Ending"
This might be one of the most boring months for the Baloominati except for the elections which were held on the very last day of March. There were lots of telegrams sent between Baloo and Barlyy over who Baloo should appoint as his DPM - Barlyy or Nooooooooo? After some discussion, Barlyy suggested that Baloo do a coin flip and choose his running mate that way, and Nooooooooooo won the coinflip. On the 31st of March, the elections were held, and Baloo won the election against Plus Nova Imperii - a rather influential candidate. This win meant that Baloo was going to be Prime Minister for 3 more months, a rather large time period. (Apologies for the short section, but March was very much boring for the Baloominati except for the discussions between me and Baloo.)
April 2021 ---> Sleepy Joe! Sleepy Joe!
Another boring month for the Baloominati yet again. Not much happened in the political stage in Callista in April except for the Head Justice elections. Poskukune won the head justice elections with zero opposition - the biggest landslide in Callistan history, all-0. Other than that, not much happened. Again, I apologize for the short section, but March and April really were not interesting from a political standpoint - just the Baloominati gaining more power by passively sitting there.
May 2021 ---> The Hell Is Going On, Vol. 3
May is, unlike the two months that came before it, incredibly chaotic. At around the 9th of May, some (respectful) arguments about roleplay could be seen. There was an attempt to revive roleplay in Callista, and it turned out that some people were actually willing to join the roleplay - however, after a shaky start, it started to fade out.
On the 19th of May, an election for the new Minister of Culture position was held which was won by Arisyan. The Minister of Culture's main duties were promoting culture (duh) and policing the RMB. Arisyan's win was crucial because it meant that an opposition member was in the Cabinet.
May was a very spammy month for Callista because of certain members (e. g. Cerata, maybe Noooooooo, Swedish-Norwegian Kingdoms, etc.) constantly spamming the RMB. Nooooooooo came under some fire on 19.05.2021 because he was "encouraging spam" and Plus Nova Imperii commented that "making Nooooooooooo LPM was a terrible idea". There were some OOC arguments as well between Plus Nova Imperii and Arisyan, but we will not talk about those here, but here is the post that ignited the political arguments that started on 19.05.2021:
Needless to say, the populace was dissatisfied with the government and the government was dissatisfied with the populace.
Responses to this post quickly followed.
Arguments ensued between Baloo and the rest of the populace, even including the Head Justice:
It's clear why Baloo faced so much backlash during May: the populace did not like how the Baloo-Noooooooooo administration handled the spam situation and thought that the Prime Minister should be more active instead of "sitting around all day".
Even the Tsar, Sorianora, started getting involved after a while:
After all of this arguing, Baloo decided to "formally apologize":
Some people such as Plus Nova Imperii and Barlyy were not happy that people forced Baloo to "apologize" stating that Baloo had nothing to be sorry for:
Also, Cerata was getting on a lot of the ROs' nerves:
Things seemed to calm down after the above post, with the RMB turning back to normal (or so we thought...)Barlyy made his beliefs clear with a couple of posts stating that he "wanted quality, not quantity" and said that he "did not care about the population of the region" but instead wanted to "keep the number low but keep the friendships strong" - also, the populace was already preparing for the June elections in which Baloo would be running for Prime Minister (again). The Tsarists party, led by Plus Nova Imperii, endorsed Baloo's campaign which further proved that the Baloominati was much more influential than the Tsarists.
We all thought the RMB calmed down but then Cerata started becoming spammy once again (with a nation called "Isle of Waifu" as their sidekick) which made Arisyan give out even more warnings:
This period could be considered the most oppressive period of Callista because of regional officers such as Barlyy and Arisyan cracking down on "spam" mercilessly by suppressing anything & everything that they considered spam (and their definitions of spam were very broad - anything that wasn't relevant to the current conversation was "spam" for them).
It could easily be said that they were both going insane. :P
Things seemed to calm down again, and after some government meetings the following rules were put in place:
All current warnings that have been issued to previous spammers will be cleared.
Almost all spam will lead to suppression and a warning (check Arisyan's dispatch for more details).
All members are allowed 3 warnings before they receive a one-day RMB ban.
After this one-day RMB ban, if the mentioned member spams one more time, they will receive a seven-day RMB ban.
After this seven-day RMB ban, if the member still continues to spam, they will be banned/banjected INDEFINITELY.
During this time period (oh my goodness, it's still 20.05.2021??) Plus Nova Imperii's party, the Tsarists, and the Baloominati decided to form the Tsarist-Baloominati Coalition. The Tsarist's voice was not heard that much in this coalition, I must admit, because of how loud and influential the Baloominati was.
With more warnings being handed out to Cerata, Nooooooooo, and Isle of Waifu[1][2], people became rather disillusioned with the government's handling of the spam situation, an old-time member decided to leave the region[3]. This caused Barlyy to interrogate them on the matter[4]. Cerata also received another warning which meant that he only had 1 warning left - if he received that warning, he was going to get banned. Barlyy warns LPM Nooooooo as well[5] and Barlyy suppresses so many posts that it ignites even more arguments:
More people leave:
The arguments eventually get to Arisyan, and following this post, Arisyan leaves the region...
...but the arguments continue:
Eventually, people start suggesting that everyone takes a break from posting for a while:
After a small break, everyone goes back to arguing:
The arguments continued... After a while, on 21.05.2021 (wait, it's STILL the 21st?), Barlyy lodged this post on the RMB and then left Callista to move over to Bluecrown Keep:
This could very much be considered the "climax" of the late-May Callistan crack and was certainly a surprise to many people. People did not expect Barlyy to get this angry and to leave the region, but hey - it happened. This instantly caused a lockdown in the RMB[6] and the RMB went quiet for a little while. After some silence, the Baloo administration came up with a new spam policy which was passed rather quickly and won a landslide. Things calmed down a little more, and even though Barlyy told people that he "would not rejoin Callista", this turned out to be incorrect [Barlyy did indeed create his own region (called "Bar Vegas"), but this region did not last and Barlyy joined Callista not too long after]. Callistans remained strong through the rest of May, Barlyy made a campaign for the June 30th PM elections for Baloo, and everything went back to normal.
This was by far the most chaotic and unstable period of time that Callista has ever faced, but thanks to Baloo's charisma the region did not collapse. Needless to say, the late-May cracks boosted Baloo's popularity.
June 2021 ---> Some Peace At Last & Cerata v. Callista
After the chaotic month of May, June (aka Pride Month) started off with chaos as well. On the 2nd of June, Poskukune made some OOC comments that will not be mentioned here for your eyes' sake. All you need to know is that he was expelled from the Callistan Prosperity Party, lost his Head Justice position, and left Callista for a little while. Plus Nova Imperii was appointed Head Justice until the next election. Poskukune came back around a week later, though, so this was not that big of a deal - but it is safe to say that this event somewhat tarnished Poskukune's reputation in Callista.
After this, on 10.06.2021, Cerata was banned again from Callista by Barlyy. This was carried over to the Head Justice, Plus Nova Imperii. Barlyy represented Callista, so the case's official name is Cerata v. Callista. The following quotes are from the court case. Churchill 1 is Cerata and Barlyy represents Callista:
After all of this going back-and-forth, the Head Justice finally ruled a decision:
This meant that Cerata was going to be banned forever unless someone decided to overrule that decision (spoiler alert: Cerata gets unbanned).
The rest of June was a peaceful period for Callistan politics. Barlyy promised that he would write a brand-new constitution and that the new constitution would be implemented if the Baloo-Barlyy/Arisyan campaign was victorious in the June 30th elections. The Baloominati did indeed win the 30.06.2021 elections - with Baloo as PM and Arisyan as his LPM - and a new constitution was implemented in July.
July 2021 ---> Peace At Last!
The month of July was rather peaceful. The constitution written by Barlyy was implemented and this new, updated version greatly improved Callistan politics. Barlyy reentered the Baloominati after a short hiatus from Callistan politics which meant that the Baloominati would continue being active in governmental affairs thanks to his charisma (totally not biased writing, folks). Other than these constitutional changes, and the Head Justice elections which concluded with Plus Nova Imperii winning.
August 2021 ---> Peace At Last, Vol. 2
August, too, was a peaceful period for the region. It was so peaceful that I was unable to find anything that's worth putting in this section, and I must admit I am getting a little tired, so this section will be super short. There is not much that happened in August except the slow and steady deregulation of the RMB - this is somewhat important as deregulation originally started right after the late-May arguments reached their climax but started getting more and more apparent in August and the months after it.
September 2021 ---> The Status Quo
September started off with Arisyan, the LPM at the time, telling the region that he'd be logging on less frequently than before (the promise was only once per day but he never really kept that promise :p)... and nothing else really happened. Once again, the apathetic population was not getting any less apathetic. With the October elections coming up, Barlyy created yet another Baloominati campaign with Baloo running for PM and Barlyy running as Baloo's running mate. The CPP put forward Yes Humans Are Recyclable as their candidate against Baloo - unlike the previous elections, this one was not going to be an uncontested win for the Baloominati. The deregulation of the RMB continued in September as well.
October 2021 ---> Banishment of YHAR, Puppet Fraud Stikes Back, Baloominati 2.0
September was certainly more exciting than July or August. To start things off, The Baloominati won 75% of the vote in the PM elections but voter turnout was super low for this election. Just a few days after the election, the Callistan government (namely Barlyy and Sorianora) started to realize that a new member, 8000, was acting rather... odd. This was made very clear by Barlyy who led the investigations against 8000, and after some investigations, concluded that Yes Humans Are Recyclable and 8000 were led by the same user. This meant that the user behind Yes Humans Are Recyclable not only lied in their citizenship form(s) on two separate occasions, it also meant that he attempted puppet fraud in the elections - both of those were unforgivable. After some discussion, the government decided that it should be a 3-month ban, and so he was banned for 3 months:
This shocked some people - they did not expect such a veteran member to do something this reckless about the community's future - but what had to be done was done, and it was too late. This meant that the opposition lost one of its only members - a big blow to the CPP, this was.
After that was done with, on 08.10.2021, the Head Justice elections were held which was another landslide victory for the Baloominati with 80% of the vote. Plus Nova Imperii was instated as the Head Justice after their victory.
On 11.10.2021, Komahina (AKA Haruhi Japan) announced that they were going to create a new party called the Regional Triumvirate Party. This was the very first party to be founded in a long time ever since the Baloominati's founding. On 13.10.2021, Dominioan's new "Centralist Meritocratic Party" was also founded - it was clear that interest in politics was on the rise in Callista. Some debates about the current political system were held with some differing opinions: Barlyy defended the current status quo, Komahina wanted to make it so that all officers were to be elected democratically, and Dominioan proposed that the whole governmental structure is scrapped and people start being chosen & appointed by the Tsar. During this time period, foreigners (namely Zarbik) started joining the Baloominati and were appointed as "prophets" whose duties were to promote Balooist culture in foreign regions (namely IOC). Respectful debates continued to be held during the following days which meant that, for the first time in a long while, politics were actually generating lots of activity. On 14.10.2021, the CPP, the CMP (Dominioan's party) and the RTP (Haruhi's party) decided to form a "coalition" in order to have a better chance at toppling the Baloominati. - but after some... ahem... secret deals between Barlyy and Dominioan, Dominioan decided to leave the coalition and announced that he'd be running by himself with the Baloominati backing him.
It was certainly a shock to some folks - why would the Baloominati endorse Dominioan? Why doesn't the Baloominati simply run on its own platform? Well, there were some secrets that the public did not know yet - and that was the fact that something completely unexpected was on the horizon, and Barlyy (and the Baloominati as a whole) had to adapt. Here is the big revelation:
Yes, you heard that right - Baloo was not going to run for PM in the 01.01.2022 elections. This completely shocked some folks - well, can you blame them? Baloo has been so strong for so long and it just seems nonsensical that they'd surrender all of that power to someone else - but hey, he did what he wanted to do, and we cannot change that as observers. This certainly ignited interest in politics ever more since people realized that they finally had a chance. There were discussions between Barlyy and Dominioan and the two concluded that Dom should run for Prime Minister in the 01.01.2022 elections (certainly nothing sketchy here lol :P).
November 2021 ---> He'll Be Back..?
To start things off, on 08.11.2021, two things happen:
Dominioan announces that he won't be running in the 01.01.2022 election and that the Baloominati "needs to find another candidate". This was a surprise to some, but not to Barlyy.
Cerata is dubbed "forgiven" by Barlyy and is unbanned from Callista. Thankfully there was not a lot of backlash that spawned from this decision.
On 11.11.2021, a new amendment is added to the constitution:
Even though it was "signed by Baloo, Sorianora, and Barlyy", it could be said that Barlyy was the man who came up with the idea. This sparked some controversy, as expected:
Despite all the backlash, the law was still passed - a huge victory for the Baloominati.
On 14.11.2021, Barlyy made a dispatch telling people that he would be taking a break from NationStates due to personal issues. I'll spare you the details of my departure, but this basically meant that
The Baloominati will have no candidate for the 01.01.2022 election unless Barlyy comes back
The government needs a new LPM this instant
The second bulleted point is what we'll be talking about; since, as you'll see later, the first bulleted point will be deemed irrelevant after Barlyy's return. On 15.11.2021, Baloo chose Plus Nova Imperii to be his new LPM, and held a poll on the same day asking the populace whether or not they approve of this decision. However, this decision caused some arguments:
Once again, despite the small arguments, Plus Nova Imperii won the poll - another win for the Baloominati. A problem was on the horizon, however - now that the Head Justice is the LPM, the region needed a new Head Justice - so ANOTHER flash election had to be held.
Cerata announced his candidacy:
...and so did Haruhi Japan/Komahina:
Komahina was endorsed by the opposition (CPP-RTP merger, AKA "UCO"):
After the poll lasts for a little while (I cannot find the poll since it probably was deleted), Haruhi Japan concedes and Cerata wins:
...though some people are somewhat opposed to this:
After all the arguments, Cerata was instated as Head Justice. Plus, Barlyy said "I'll be back" [inspired by the Terminator] to Cerata:
December 2020 ---> He's Back!
After a rather silent start to December, on 04.12.2021, I, Barlyy, returned to NationStates - and needless to say, I was bustling with atmosphere. I felt pretty bored after not checking in on the RMB, I got bored after not talking to those online strangers. I thought that NS was a burden when I decided to quit but then I realized that I was incorrect - NS was not a burden to me. So instead of trying to fix family problems that I am absolutely unable to fix no matter how much I try and thinking that almost completely disconnecting from the Internet is somehow good for me, I returned. I had a thirst I needed to quench - I had not talked to anybody for a long while after my departure, and needless to say, I missed all of you lads. I did not want to make anybody feel upset near me - I did not want to, and still don't want to, be a burden to others in any way, shape, or form.
Instantly after my arrival, Cerata resigned from their Head Justice position (because I'm too intimidating :P):
So now we have to go through yet another election. I made a dispatch right away but this dispatch was not serious since everybody already knew what my beliefs were - however, my eyes were not really set on the Head Justice position but rather pm the Prime Minister position. After some discussions with Baloo, he told me that he would be my running mate and that I should run for Prime Minister - and I started writing like we're running out of time. On 05.12.2021, just a day after my arrival, I published my PM campaign dispatch which was completed in almost no time. I won the Head Justice elections with no opposition.
Other than some secret discussions between me and Baloo about how the Baloominati should approach the 01.01.2022 election, the rest of December was rather sleepy.
January 2022 ---> ?????
????????
Closing Statements
Wow, that took a long time to write. I've been writing this dispatch on a secret Baloominati account but that account shall not be leaked. There are some Hamilton references here and there, so if you know the songs, you'll be able to enjoy the dispatch a little more. The dispatch has been both fun AND exhausting to write - having to scroll through basically the ENTIRE RMB was not fun, but putting little references here and there and scrolling past some funny jokes certainly helped improve my mood over the past week. I decided to write this dispatch after writing the Baloominati Polka 02.02.2022 election campaign since that was fun to write and I am glad that I did it. People called me insane for doing this, and that is true, but I do not care. By the way, if you didn't read it fully, I will personally hold you accountable for anything negative that happens to the Baloominati in the future. Go and read the whole thing, a lot of effort went into this abomination.
I'd like to give a shoutout to Baloo Kingdom and Dominioan for helping me write this, and I would also like to thank every single one of you that are & were friendly to me in NS. Y'all are the best, especially the Callistans. <3
The dispatch will get updated monthly (or maybe even more frequently depending on whether or not there is an announcement to make) and the history section of the dispatch will be updated on the first week of every month unless I am super busy and/or unable to update it.
Peace out,
-Barlyy
Cheers, Nooooooooooooooo