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by The Nation-Sized Disco Party of Funky Goats. . 30 reads.

Regional Justice Day 2021 Events

Preamble: I know this is very scuffed, but I unfortunately had some other things going on in my life around this time (i broke a toothpaste dispenser, among other things), so this is what I could write with the limited time I had.
Hopefully it still gets the message across.


During Regional Justice Day 2021 (the 28th of November 2021), there will be a few events happening, in addition to a speech from the incumbent Chief Justice Ventus Prime.
I will be hosting a games session (with a courtroom/law theme where at all possible) within the General VC of the region's Discord server at around 5 pm UTC time.
Another one may also be hosted at some point during the 27th, but this is not a part of the festivities on the day itself.

A quiz will also be released, for people to answer and enjoy during the weekend. The winner of the quiz will be announced on the day itself, and there may be something special in store for whoever does well.

BREAKING NEWS REPORT

At 9 am on the 27th of November 2021, the quiz that was supposed to be a part of the Regional Justice Day festivities was found dead in an alleyway beside the Department of Internal Affairs building, split in half horizontally and with multiple gashes across their body.

This is still a developing story, more details will be released as the NWIPD and the DIA investigate this tragic event.


THE QUIZ CASE

An innocent quiz has been murdered, and the police are stumped. Without any blood or internal organs, figuring out what killed the poor thing is next to impossible.
But that's where you folks, the wonderful people of the NWI, come in. Perhaps you can look through the clues, and figure out what happened, and who the culprit is?
Or at least make up a funny story as to how the crime
could've happened.

These four individuals were the only ones present in the DIA building when the murder occured, and are therefore the prime suspects for the crime. They all knew the quiz to some degree beforehand, and also appear to know each other.

1 - A maintenance worker and gardener for multiple institutions across the NWI, but particularly the DIA. Appears to be a Coniferan immigrant, but finding his history from that time has proven difficult.

2 - Employee at the DIA offices, supposedly the janitor there. Has previously worked as a salesman, peddling highly advanced brooms often referred to as "lightsweepers".

3 - An agent for an office supply company contracted by the Secretariat, who was present at the office due to helping out with a delivery. Attempted to give us signed copies of a novel she was writing as evidence. Offer was rejected.

4 - Another employee at the offices, working as a liaison between the DIA and the Secretary-General. Finding clothes that fit him proved to be very difficult. Health records show a speech impediment, which is apparent in the recordings as well.

All four suspects were questioned and were asked, among other things, a handful of questions about the evening of the murder and their previous relationships with both the victim and the other suspects. Some dialogue not relevant to any of the questions has been removed from this log. The four conversations will be listed in order.

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Suspect 1

Where were you when the crime happened?

I was on the first floor at that time, doing some maintenance work. Then, some minutes after when this all went down, I went up to the second floor and saw that someone had knocked over a plant pot.

Did you see anything out of the ordinary?

Other than the plant? Nah, nothin’. I did hear something, though. Someone was shouting on the second floor. And then I heard some footsteps on the... third floor, I think it was?

What is your relationship to the victim?

Never knew them that closely, honest. All I know is that they were good friends with that bird… better than me at least. From what I knew of them, though, they seemed to get stressed around these times.

Do you carry any animosity towards the other suspects?

Don’t hate any of them, but the bird stole my keys to the janitorial closet at some point. It was awkward, and it made even work on the second floor hard to do without tools.

Do you have any other useful information?

Not really. I’m actually feeling a little sick… you guys should really get some openable windows here. Only having them on the third floor back at the DIA building is bad enough, you know?

Very well. Thank you for your time.

No problem. I wonder if the building’s still open right now… I saw that bottle sticking out of that crate of cleaning supplies… and I need to find my keys, anyway.

------

Suspect 2

Where were you when the crime happened?

Ahhh, yes, you see… I was… cleaning! I am a janitor by trade… ohoho, indeed. I was on the third floor, sweeping away some dirt when I heard this… horrible scream…It sent chills down my spine.

Did you see anything out of the ordinary?

I saw that… lady with the ears… carrying a box! How dastardly, I must say… ah, but she usually carries multiple. Later, on my way out… I saw a pair of scissors splayed out on a table on the second floor...

What is your relationship to the victim?

I am not… particularly fond of the victim. We have had conflicts in the past, which have left me scarred and deformed. In a metaphorical sense, of course… ah, but I would not dare kill them over it.

Do you carry any animosity towards the other suspects?

I try to avoid such childish things. I much prefer focusing on my work… Although that delivery girl is always making accusations, something I do not find pleasant.

Do you have any other useful information?

Ow… wha- huh? Oh, my apologies… I sprained my ankle. I do not have anything else...

Very well. Thank you for your time.

I do hope you are able to catch the culprit. It would be a shame for them to run free.

------

Suspect 3

Where were you when the crime happened?

I was just, y’know, doing some deliveries. Three boxes of various… things. There were scissors in one of them, I think. But, of course, wouldn’t you know it, some creep stole one of them when I placed them down and looked away! You said the quiz was cut apart, right?

Did you see anything out of the ordinary?

Yeah, sure I did! Haven’t I already said someone stole one of my very valuable boxes of office supplies? Hmph!

What is your relationship to the victim?

We talked a few times, but I didn’t have that close of a friendship with ‘em. Swear they were drunk at times too, the prick. Shame something like this had to happen, though…

Do you carry any animosity towards the other suspects?

I’d like to think not, but I can’t trust that tree right now. I know he’s always carrying some garden shears, real big ones. Not saying he did it, but...

Do you have any other useful information?

Nah. I’ve said my piece. I’m just worried about my poor box...

Very well. Thank you for your time.

Okay, can I go now? I’m starting to fall behind, and I need to get some gavels to the courthouse ASAP.

------

Suspect 4

Where were you when the crime happened?

That, caw, is a very good question. So you claim it happened at around 7 last evening, yes? I must have been doing some last-minute work at that point, caw. It was overtime.

Did you see anything out of the ordinary?

I saw someone running up the stairs between floors two and three as I was passing by, caw. I cannot tell you who it was, though. I did not get a good look, caw.

What is your relationship to the victim?

I backed them up after they had an argument with the janitor, caw. Since then we have been drinking buddies. We may or may not have had a secret stash of our favourite wine on floor two, caw.

Do you carry any animosity towards the other suspects?

I have already stated any relevant info I have on that matter, caw. My occasional thieving antics may have led to others disliking me, though. Caw.

Do you have any other useful information?

As far as I know, only two people have access to the janitorial closet, caw. The Secretary may have access, but he has no reason to go there, caw. And he isn’t a suspect, anyway.

Very well. Thank you for your time.

Time truly flies, caw. Now, if you will have me excused, caw, I must go purge that secret stash. That does not exist.
...caw.

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Notes:

- The DIA building is on the right. Building on the left is not relevant to the case, as we know of, but the first floor has very nice Italian food.
- Victim's body was slightly crumpled upon discovery. Body has not been straightened back out, although that may not be apparent within this picture.
- The alley is empty, for reasons we are not sure of. A dumpster was found in the alleyway on the opposite side of the building.

If you have any tips about this incident, please contact the NWIPD or the Secretary of Foreign Affairs, Funky Goats, who can be contacted through NationStates telegrams or through Discord DMs.


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