by Max Barry

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by The Impeccably Arranged Snark of The West Pacific Master Dispatch. . 167 reads.

Treaty of the Pirates' Den

All your chocolate belongs to Darkesia

Treaty of the Pirates' Den

Casual Language Version

Lone wolves paradoxically united as a pack and a pyramid of hermit crabs led by a platypus decided to make a pact with the pack.

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Article 1 - There Will Be Pings

We’re going to make sure we talk to each other on RMBs, forums, and on Discord. We’ll ping each other accordingly.

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Article 2 - Crab Packs and Wolf Pyramids

We’re going to party together a few times a year to celebrate our cultures. There will be crabs in packs and wolves in pyramids. We’ll both feast on Vara’s onion creations.

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Article 3 - Protecting Our Dens

We promise not to encroach on each other’s territory and that we won’t assist anyone in doing so.

Updating can be messy. We agree that if a crab finds a lone wolf united with another group in someone else’s territory, we won’t break our bestie bond.

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Article 4 - No Crying Wolf, Big Game Hunting

We promise not to cry wolf or make trouble. If either group discovers sensitive information that poses a threat, we will share such info with each other in order to protect the pact between our packs.

We will, however, do some big game hunting together when we can. If one is not game for that hunt, it’s OK.

Article 5 - The General Laws of the Pack

This pact takes effect when our proper alphas say so. It can evolve over time like crabs do, so we’ll be open to amending the treaty and will update it together.

We’ll talk before we decide to become dispersers. We prefer to keep the bond together as best as we can.

However, if it is time to cut ties, we will inform each other of such intent by talking with the proper alpha or beta wolves or crabs.

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You found Bigfoot!

Formal Language Version

Desiring to recognize, formalize and strengthen the close ties between the West Pacific and Lone Wolves United, hereafter referred to as the signatories, the leadership of both regions agree upon this treaty.

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Article I - Diplomatic Relations

The signatories will maintain diplomatic relations with one another, and will furthermore strive to keep their fellow signatory updated on their regional happenings.

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Article II - Cultural Agreements

The signatories will agree to encourage and support cultural exchanges and joint cultural events. The signatories agree to fully commit to promoting joint cultural events, and are encouraged to collaborate on the organisation of such events.

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Article III - Mutual Defense

The signatories will not invade or assist in a third-party invasion of the other signatory's home region or territories. The signatories also agree never to support, encourage or engage in any attempted subversion against the other.

It is agreed upon that participating on the opposite sides of a battlefield in a third-party region will not violate the treaty.

Should a signatory come under attack by hostile forces, the other signatory will agree to assist in the defense of their fellow signatory.

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Article IV - Intelligence & Military Cooperation

Both parties agree never to engage in any form of espionage, infiltration or other subversive activities against each other. Should a signatory come into possession of important information that may threaten the other signatory's interests or security, they will share it. Information that does not threaten the security or interests of the other signatory may be shared when deemed beneficial.

The signatories are encouraged to engage in joint military operations to further mutual interests. Both signatories agree that the other may choose to decline participation in a military operation, and agree to respect that decision.

Article V - General Provisions

The treaty will come into effect once it has been ratified by the relevant authorities of both parties. It may be amended when both parties agree to an amendment.

Should a signatory be concerned that the other party may have broken the alliance, they agree to reach out and attempt to resolve the issue through diplomatic channels before taking any further action.

A signatory may choose to withdraw from the agreement when deemed to be in their best interests. They must inform the other party through the relevant diplomatic channels of their intent to withdraw in advance, following which the treaty will be considered cancelled.

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Lone Wolves United, represented by:
A Bloodred Moon, Khan

The West Pacific, represented by:
Dilber, Delegate of the West Pacific
Giovanniland, Minister without Portfolio
Fuentana, Minister without Portfolio

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