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by The Impeccably Arranged Snark of The West Pacific Master Dispatch. . 521 reads.

The Western Post - July 2021


  • Join in the drafting and voting of the latest Regional Commendation, Commend Westwind! And if you join after the vote, you can participate in the process of choosing the next nominee and then drafting a Regional Commendation for them. You can get involved in the Hall of Nations by becoming a citizen Linkhere!

  • In addition to our regional commendations, our region is currently supporting a draft in the Security Council to commend The Holy Principality of Saint Mark! Please support the proposal and lodge any comments you may have.

  • Stay tuned for several events happening during July! Some of them are Spades, Casseroles, and RP Sportsball, but there will be others as well. As always, they will be announced in our Regional Message Board and listed in our World Factbook Entry, so keep an eye on these places so you can participate and have fun!

WAR Update
By Teralyon, Minister of World Assembly Recruitment

This past month the WAR ministry has been busy on a variety of projects some straightforward, some convoluted and dreamt up by the WAR Minister and his aids. One of our goals is still to get Dilber’s endorsement count up, we acknowledge that the summer CTE wave is upon us, and Dilber’s count has slowly been eroding but that has never stopped the West in the past, and it won’t stop us now. Apart from telegrams, we have other things we are currently cooking up so stay tuned!

Speaking of telegrams, we have started sending out new ones to WA nations and plan to send even more to not only them but to the entire West! We are always on the lookout for potential talent to join our amazing citizens and to fill government positions and the hope is with some of these telegrams we can find them, maybe that can be you, dear reader?

Lastly, the WAR cycle has started in UTWP this last month and the WAR ministry has been happy with the remaining students who have all have shown they are willing to put in the time and effort to do the work and are proof of the West’s meritocracy at work. We will watch your careers with great interest.

Card Club Update
By Giovanniland, Card Czar of the West

It is time for another Card Club Update! There are some interesting things to announce, and you can read them right here.

Firstly, Punday Monday card awards! Just like in previous months, they were announced sometime after the last winning pun of the month was chosen by our Delegate. Three residents received legendary cards, though the other winning pun of the month was authored by myself so I made the decision to not give myself a card. If you want to possibly get those prizes, the key is to participate in upcoming Punday Mondays! If the Delegate chooses you as the winner, you will win a legendary card, and your pun will be added to our Big Book of Puns.

Secondly, a subforum for the Card Club has been created in our regional forums! It has technically existed for over a month, though just now the essential threads were finished and then published for everyone to see. This includes forum copies of our Trading Cards Introduction and Glossary, a thread for suggestions, and more! LinkClick this link to check the subforum out, although a registered forum account is required.

Finally, the other major happening related to cards this month was the TWPride Card Contest, uncontestedly won by Aluminum Oxynitride. Read more about it in our TWPride Retrospective article! Anyways, these are all the major card-related news in TWP for now, even though there might also be other events to be announced soon. Stay tuned for another update in the next edition of the Western Post.

Questions & Branswers
By Bran Astor

Let's get to know Zoran, TWP's younger LinkFlorida Man.

What is the best sandwich?
It would have to be a LinkCuban Sandwich, nothing quite beats the taste of it for me. It is a perfect mixture of various cultures and is just delicious.

Miami, Tampa, or Key West's Cuban mix?
Never have a Key West Cuban but I have had a Tampa and Miami one before. For me, it would have to be the Miami Cuban due to the influence of Little Havana, never had a better Cuban anywhere than in Miami. The food in Miami is the one thing I like about the city.

What is one region you really want to purge?
Hmmm…that is really tricky but I would have to say I would want to purge Chicken Overlords. I don’t like the look of it and I think they could do with a good purge to have quality members over there.

Who's the scariest guardian?
Giovanniland, he is too friendly at times…you can never trust the friendly ones.

Sheesh! What do you youngsters have against the classics?
I have nothing against the classics, what you guys are capable of is known and on the books of purging history, thus I know what to expect from you veteran purgers which reduces some of the fear. Gio on the other hand is new and rising, a wild card if you will. If I were to ever break the rules of the RMB or of TWP, Gio would be the one to keep me on edge because I don’t know what to expect from him. Whereas for Bhang Bhang Duc, for example, I know it would be a trebuchet ride followed by some snarky comment on the RMB.

Apples or oranges?
Oranges, I prefer the taste and texture of an orange over an apple. Plus I like citrus fruits.

Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?
No, I don’t really care if someone is famous or not they are a person like everyone else and their signature is nothing special.

Hear that, Dilber? No need to sign Junior's paychecks.

What do you think happens when we CTE?
I think we are sent to some cyberspace purgatory until our nation name becomes available for someone else to reincarnate as us. What is in that purgatory, I can’t say but it must be something pretty boring.

Favorite action hero?
This one is a tough one for me, I have a lot of favorites. But if I had to choose one then it would have to be LinkJohn Rambo.

Who else makes the list? Round out your Top 5.
My top five would be John Rambo, LinkJohn McClane, LinkThe Terminator, LinkIndiana Jones, and LinkDominic Torretto.

Do you have a favorite smell?
No, not really. Are there smells I like? Sure but I can’t say there is one that is like “ah yes, this is the best thing I have ever smelled”.

Do you have a least favorite smell?
I don’t have a least favorite smell either. There are a lot of smells that I hate but my least favorite always changes depending on how I’m feeling and the strength of that smell.

Sure like riding those fences, don't ya?
I would make a joke about riding fences but it’s not exactly PG-13. Instead, I wouldn’t necessarily say I like riding the fences, it is more I don’t think about favorite or least favorite scents often enough to really have any.

That explains liking The Fast and the Furious franchise. Moving on...

Pineapple: Does it pizza?
I think my response here is going to be obvious to those in TWP but I am very much opposed to pineapple on pizza. I have nothing against those who like it but I just hate the taste of it, it just ruins a perfectly good pizza for me.

Do you suppose it would improve a perfectly bad pizza?
Good lord no, it would just make it worse. It would just make a perfectly bad pizza even worse due to the potential flavor clash whether it be by odd mixture of toppings or the pizza being poorly made, adding pineapple onto it would make it worse for me.

So you admit there's such a thing as a bad pizza and The Fast and the Furious is good. Noted.

Flat or sparkling?
Flat, the carbonation of the sparkling water always kind of stings my tongue for some reason, and it doesn’t even taste good. So I prefer a nice refreshing bottle of flat water over a slightly painful bottle of sparkling water.

Most used app on your phone?
As of recently, Discord. But for a longer period of time, it was an app called Hosted Games. It is an app that is a collection of text-based choose your own adventure stories. New stories come out every month or so made by people in a community and I enjoy them, some of them are series that I am in suspense for, which is fairly rare for me in terms of reading. But that aside, for the past month it has been Discord.

You get one never-ending pasta bowl for the rest of your life, what is it?
Oh lord, this one is definitely going to form another mob against me. You see, I don’t care much for pasta. I will eat it and I don’t dislike it but it isn’t my favorite food and I find myself getting tired and sick of it very quickly. But if I had to choose one for the rest of my life then it would be spaghetti.

What number am I thinking of?


Describe your TWP experience in seventeen syllables.
A lot of fun, very interesting, and a whole lot of trolling.

WA Condemns ARA For Possessing Dangerous Levels Of Freedom
By Y. Trebil of Podium

The Allied Republics of Acirema are no strangers to controversy on the world stage, a point now officially enforced on the legislative level in a condemnation statement released by the World Assembly just hours ago, its main concern being the hegemon's unabashed, uninterrupted promotion and celebration of liberty for all who seek it. "The very fact that the AR has outwardly espoused the values of freedom, democracy, and prosperity, uninterrupted for nearly 250 years without thought or care towards our ironclad grip on our citizens' self-determination, should signal to this assembly its failures in successfully containing such dangerous thought", opened Zhung Jan, Permanent Representative to the World Assembly of Nawiat Tsew, a nation well-renowned for its history of disregarding personal freedoms, from ethnic genocides against Natebits and Ruhgyus to the systematic elimination of dissent in Gnok-Gnoh and Nemnanait Circle. "Why action against this flagrant breach of WA policy has not been taken seriously sooner eludes me," added the Aibara-Iduasian representative on behalf of the Outmost Western member-nations, who pride themselves on dogmatic religious fervor dictating their national policy of sexual discrimination and the public stoning of LGBT people among others, as well as having served a cumulative 48 years on the World Assembly Human Rights Council since its inception in early 2006.

Though the AU and Fujai had prepared a joint statement on the matter as well, the address was canceled in fear that reciting it could potentially constitute a violation of their own hate speech laws, not to mention a weapons regulation violation, seeing as opening the manilla envelope it was held in would result in unregistered possession of a knife. While the condemned state was expected to respond within regulation, the primary AR ambassador simply started playing "Acirema, F*** Yeah" on his boombox while handing out cold beers to nearby representatives, tending to the charcoal grill, and fiddling with the box of fireworks stashed beneath his desk. While the condemnation had passed unanimously (on account of the Acireman delegation voting "yes" as well), a motion to dismiss it is reportedly already in the works, on the basis that "Jeff does a hell of a mean steak, and I'd hate to miss it if he leaves," according to an anonymous source within the assembly.

TWPride Retrospective
By Giovanniland

Pride Month is a celebration of the LGBTQ+ community that happens during the month of June to honor the Link1969 Stonewall Riot, a very important for the history of LGBTQ+ rights not only in the United States but also worldwide. Here in the West Pacific, we stand with the people fighting for equality, a fight that doesn't just happen during this month but rather goes on throughout the entire year, and that each day gains strength. Therefore, each year our region creates several events in June in order to honor this celebration. Our Pride events—collectively called TWPride—mix the LGBTQ+ part of Pride with a TWP-themed touch, in order to make it unique and inviting for anyone to participate. You can read more about them in this article!

A big part of our TWPride events was through engagement in the Regional Message Board (RMB). After all, the RMB is the place we post our daily Today in the West prompts, so they were adapted with Pride-related questions for anyone to answer. Throughout the month, not only did newer Regional Guides like Wymondham10, Santos-Dominius and Blue Bubble offer to run these activities, but also members of other regions came into our RMB to share their opinions on various matters about Pride!

This activity was deemed Pride Post Wednesday and included the participation of people like Erinor (Seraph) from The South Pacific, and several of our friends from Karma: including but not limited to United Calanworie, Solmheim, Takura, Ghad, Kayestha, Nova Vandalia, and more! Furthermore, residents of our region were also free to chime in and contribute their own views on these questions. Some who actively participated were Adaia, Blue Bubble, Willow Gate, and Santos-Dominius. By the way, while talking about this, I'd like to thank everyone—residents and foreign friends alike—for their participation, even if I did not directly mention you.

Of course, our other weekly RMB events were also changed in a way to fit with the theme. This means that we had people post songs about Pride on Karaoke Friday, themed haiku on each Haikuesday. The two last Punday Mondays were even specifically themed on Pride, one won by myself (Giovanniland) and the other by United Adaikes who, by the way, was later awarded a special Pride-themed legendary card—Season 1 Galway-Dublin—together with the other award winners of the month. And while we're on the topic of cards, we also had a special TWPride Card Contest during the latter part of the month, open for anyone to join from the 14th until the 30th. Aluminum Oxynitride was the uncontested winner of said contest, with their collection in one of their puppets mixing the usual Pride symbols with a nice TWP-themed touch. They also received the Galway-Dublin card, just like the chosen Pride-themed pun.

There were also a few contributions to the overall event made together with the Sasquatch Republic, a close allied region to the West. Firstly, former delegate Bran Astor sent his yearly Dad Hug telegram, encouraging everyone to be proud of who they are. This is the 3rd telegram from this series that started in 2019, and the full text of all these messages in this dispatch. Secondly but certainly not less important in any way, both regions also hosted the Dali Drag Race event together, a contest in which participants must do their best in challenges created and judged by Dalimbar and Bran. Just like previous editions, it was an event so memorable that deserves its own article—which you can read later in this edition of the Western Post.

Now, what about the TWP-themed touch? Throughout the month, we also had questions pertaining to, for example: why residents chose TWP as their home region or, if founded here, why did they join NationStates; or what were their most memorable moments in their entire history of playing NS. The former question earned a number of answers so high that a poll with the most common answers was also crafted, making it clear that, within the 57 nations surveyed, the most common reason is searching for "create your own nation" or similar. Hopefully, they can't say that they were disappointed upon finding this game!

Furthermore, we also celebrated our region through variations of our regional flag. Firstly the region flew the original flag, which is the first one that TWP can claim as its own, and also an icon of the region that has survived for over a decade. In the second week, we switched to the current standard flag, and in the last two weeks, players flew variations of it—first their own variations, and then the official Pride version of the TWP flag.

The Pride version of the standard TWP flag.

All in all, TWPride was a month full of celebrations and acknowledgments that LGBTQ+ equality is a cause worth defending and one that TWP will always stand for. And just like Blue Bubble said on the last Today in the West post of the month, "Pride Month may be over, but the push for LGBTQ rights is not." So thank you for reading, and let's hope that each day the movement for recognition of LGBTQ+ rights and equality gains strength around the world.

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Culture in Focus
By Fhaengshia

Introduction by Giovanniland: Hello there, dear reader! Culture in Focus is a column inaugurated by me on the May edition of the Western Post, focusing on various real-life cultures that one or more members of this region experience in their daily lives. I wrote its first edition by talking about my home country of Brazil, in the second edition Qapaq Suyu described Peru, and then I again called for other residents of the region to use this space to talk about their own culture. And now, I am proud to say that Fhaengshia volunteered to participate! We continue the series by traveling to another country in the Southern Hemisphere, but I won't talk about it further and instead give Fhaengshia the floor.

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Hi everyone, I live in Australia, which is more than just spiders and kangaroos—there are also snakes, dingos, and even birds that will attack you. But beyond just some of the wildlife lies a country rich in diversity with the oldest parts of land in the world.

A map of the States and Territories of Australia.

Australia has a long history of human settlement. Human fossil remains date back 40,000 years, and scientifically accepted evidence of shelters go back 65,000 years. There are even ongoing investigations of sites that could potentially push this to 120,000 years. Countless examples of ancient rock art paints the landscape of Australia as a vivid home of many distinct and related cultures that survive into today. Millenia of interaction with the people of what is now Papua New Guinea and more recent trade with people from Indonesia happened before European colonisation began in 1788. Unfortunately, a lot of oral history has been lost due to the tragedies that came out of this colonisation.

There are over 250 Australian Aboriginal languages, though less than 50 have more than 100 speakers left and even fewer have children learning them. But with so many languages come a lot of different features, concepts, and interesting cultures. For example, the Warruwi Community on South Goulburn Island has about 500 people speaking 9 different languages from 6 different language families, with the people of the community being able to understand many of the languages but only speaking their own for the most part. This is for cultural reasons as different areas belong to the different clans and speaking the language is a big part of who belongs to each clan. With just a tiny glimpse like this, you can begin to see the diversity of Australian culture.

Over the millennia there have been features that permeate through many of these cultures. Alcheringa, the Arrernte word for the Dreaming, is the cultural-religious origin of time and land, though stories vary throughout different regions. There are other concepts such as Moiety, Totems, and Skin Names which describe the social organisation and kinship systems not just to each other but to the land itself. The systems together interweave responsibilities for members of communities as well as wildlife. Someone with a specific totem is responsible for caring for that totem, just as members of the same moiety look after each other as family no matter the blood relation.

On the 26th of January, 1788, the 11 ships of the First Fleet began to arrive in what would become Sydney. Carrying about 300 sailing crew, 300 marines including their family, and 750 convicts (over 200 women and children). With 1000 people on a Second Fleet soon to depart (and another 2000 on a Third Fleet), a clash of cultures was imminent. Over the next century, 5 more colonies were founded, developed, and began to discuss federation to form a single national government to standardise trade, defence forces, and other government functions. With many of the migrants being political dissidents forced out of Great Britain, Australia in the 19th century was a hotbed of political movements. This is especially so with labour unions toward the end of the century, with the 1891 shearer’s strike being instrumental in the formation of the Australian Labor Party.

Outside of the settlers from the British Isles in the 19th century, there was also immigration from China and Germany in the Victorian goldfields and around Adelaide respectively. Later waves of immigration came from Greece and Italy, after the Second World War, and Vietnam in the 1970s. More recently there have been arrivals from throughout Africa, the Middle East, and South and Southeast Asia. Australia is one of the most multicultural nations partly due to a high standard of living driven by economic stability. Like many developed nations, a falling fertility rate means most population growth is from immigration which in turn becomes a driver of the economy.

Fish and chips with a dim sim.

Having a multicultural society, variations of traditional foods have been a mainstay of Australian cuisine. From the early Chinese settlers, dim sims are meat and vegetable dumplings with thicker skin, and come in a variety of shapes and sizes, while the more recent Chiko roll is like a mix between a dim sim and a spring roll. Lamingtons are slices of sponge cake covered in chocolate sauce and desiccated coconut, sometimes with jam and cream in between 2 slices. Sausage rolls and meat pies are popular savoury baked goods, with a variant being the pie floater (a meat pie placed in pea soup). Another popular snack is the varieties of biscuits (filling the gap between cookies and crackers, not the American definition), with Tim-Tams and Anzac biscuits being some of the most well-known internationally. The pavlova, a meringue cake topped with whipped cream and fresh fruit, is a hot dispute, with both Australia and New Zealand claiming its creation. And with over 50% of the population within just 7km of the coast, seafood is a significant part of Australian culture. Seafood caters to a range of budgets from regular fish and chips to barbecued tiger prawns, oysters, and abalone. Often eaten for special occasions, regional crustaceans like mud crabs and Moreton Bay bugs are highly prized.

Despite being probably most known for its beer, Australia is also a significant wine producer. Focused mainly in South Australia, vineyards have developed a strong reputation internationally. While you may have heard of Fosters Lager, it’s really only for export; with VB, XXXX, Carlton, and Tooheys being the big 4 local beers that are most widely drunk. Notably, in 2006, New South Wales police started imposing a limit on the amount of alcohol brought in for the Bathurst 1000 (the premier Motorsport event that runs 4 days), with each person limited to 24 cans of full strength, or 36 cans of mid-strength beer per day, or one 4L cask of wine for the wine-lovers. This led to rumours of attendees burying beer in advance and going on drunken treasure hunts to find their extra stash. On a non-alcoholic side, Milo and Akta-Vite (powders typically added to milk) are iconic Aussie beverages that have spread overseas and into snack forms such as bars and cereals.

Australia has had an automotive industry notably centred on utes or utility cars. While there was originally a difference on where the tray would be integrated within the rest of the body, modern usage blurs with pickup trucks, as both are called utes in modern Australia. Reportedly, in 1932, a farmer’s wife sent a letter to Ford Australia to request a vehicle suitable to drive to church on a Sunday, and that could carry pigs to market on a Monday. With Holden also manufacturing utes from 1951, there were utes built in Australia from 1941 to 2017, when local factories were shut down. Driven by anyone from farmers to tradespeople to someone who just wants an easier time moving furniture, utes are ubiquitous all around the country. With a strong customisation culture, owners add toolboxes, camping and off-road equipment, kennels, spotlights, bullbars, larger tires, custom exhausts, and just about anything to either make work easier or to stand out.

A pub with patrons wearing stubbies and thongs, and two utes.

An aspect of Australia that’s unavoidable is the concept of the bogan. Generally used to describe someone/something with/of poor taste, it’s typically used to refer to something that’s Australian but might be looked down upon. Sometimes criticised as a form of class division, the term is rather too nebulous to be such, as bogan stereotypes vary by location. A typical bogan example may be someone who exclusively wears trackies and uggs in winter and stubbies and thongs in summer. To be unashamedly bogan is to be free of fear of judgment and perhaps with a mindset stuck in the ’70s. Honestly, ask any Australian what they think is bogan, and they will end up telling you what they would be embarrassed about.

Australian cinema has had its ups and downs, and with most talent leaving for Hollywood, local productions have tended more to niches. If there’s a film that encapsulates the Aussie spirit (bogan and all) then I’d say it’s a toss-up between “The Castle” from 1997 and “Muriel’s Wedding” from 1994. Both feature outsiders as the main role and are feel-good comedy dramas. On the smaller screen, soaps such as “Neighbours” and “Home and Away” have grown international audiences. Reality TV tends to dominate local viewing, particularly with cooking shows winning the ratings year after year. However, the music industry likely gets the most international attention, with artists ranging from AC-DC to Kylie Minogue to Tame Impala, as well as popular country musicians Lee Kernaghan, Slim Dusty, and (New Zealand born) Keith Urban.

I hope this helps give a bit more of an understanding of Australia as a nation. If you have questions I’m happy to help point you in a direction for more info! Big thanks to Giovanniland for organising this column! And if you liked this column, then maybe YOU could talk about your own real-life country's culture in upcoming editions of our newspaper—please contact Giovanniland by telegram or Discord at Giovanniland#8272 if you are interested.

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Blue's Reviews: Assemble with Care
By Blue Bubble

Welcome to the newest column of the Western Post! Blue's Reviews is where I (Blue Bubble) speak about things that have caught my eye, and this month, it is this charming game called "Assemble with Care." This column is a break from what I have done at the newspaper in recent editions—during the discussion of what we will be writing about this month, I knew I wanted something different. And when I started up "Assemble with Care" on my PC a few moments later, I knew immediately I wanted to tell the world about it.

The banner of Assemble with Care.

This game is beautiful. It enchanted me immediately as I opened it. It first attracted me when it popped up on my steam store: “From the studio that brought you Monument Valley”. I am a mobile gamer (don’t shame me!), and Monument Valley is a special favourite of mine, so I knew I had to play it. But I was not expecting the whimsical feeling of Assemble with Care, nor the life lesson.

The story takes place in a small sunny town of Bellariva, whose imagery has a quaint "small southern France" feel to it, due to the impressionist style of art. It is set in the lead-up to the town’s food festival, and you are Maria, an antique restorer who has traveled the world. You work on saving the town’s inhabitants’ belongings and end up repairing things beyond the objects you are given.

The puzzles are intricate but simple—entering the game, I was unsure of how I could repair a vintage camera, an antique watch, a vinyl player, and a projector. But this game leads you in gently. It offers a peaceful experience, where you aren’t left scratching your head, but you feel like you have achieved something as you play. The story of the game lets you just ease into enjoyment, with beautiful art and vocals. The music is fun too, with 80s vibes but fitting into the gameplay and feel of the game. The feeling is nostalgic and very relaxed, but I continuously felt excited about what would happen next.

A screenshot of the gameplay.

There is a minor downfall to this game—I felt like there wasn’t enough content (14 levels currently) to justify the £5.79 price tag it has on steam. Luckily it had 40% off until July 8th, so it is priced at £3.47, more reasonable if you understand it is an indie game. I genuinely hope that there will be more added on in the future, and not as a DLC, so that price is more like an investment, but I am not holding out for such luck.

Although I played this game on PC, if you have an Apple product with a touch screen, I highly recommend playing it on there instead. The controls for PC almost scream at me that this game is better on mobile, and I wish I could feel different from that. I don’t even own any Apple products, and I can tell. The controls are manageable, and once you understand how to do things, it is easy to work with them. I understand that a game on mobile and PC will have these issues, but I wish this was handled better.

Overall, this game is a masterpiece, just hidden behind a curtain of minor let-downs. I cannot fault its contents and its graphics, but the controls and that price just stares me down. And that part is truly a shame.

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Season 3 is Here: Dali's Drag Race
By Giovanniland

The event graphics made by Bran Astor.

Season 3 is here! Oh, did you think I was referring to Season 3 of cards? I'm afraid that's not the case. Instead, the topic of this article is Season 3 of Dalimbar's Drag Race, an event jointly hosted by the West Pacific and the Sasquatch Republic this time around, due to the fact that the organizers Dalimbar (Lady Anastasia) and Bran Astor (Tracy martel) are currently the delegate and founder of the latter region, respectively. This event has had three editions since 2019 and already crowned two queens as the winners of previous seasons—Amanda flaughertmi for Season 1 and B-coochie for Season 2—but how does it exactly work and what took place during this edition? Read the article to find out!

Dalimbar's Drag Race (or simply Dali's Drag Race) is a yearly event in which participants must do their best in challenges created and judged by Lady Anastasia and Tracy martel. Winning a challenge involved answering issues to increase world census rankings, changing the custom fields such as flag, motto, national animal, and currency to fit with the given theme, and also posting something in the Regional Message Board. The contestants were ranked after each challenge according to their performance, and the bottom ones' census rankings were compared, so that Lady Anastasia could make a decision on which one to trebuchet, i.e. eliminate from the tournament. After four episodes, the twelve initial contestants were whittled down to four and had to go through a final challenge so that the Season 3 Winner could finally be found.

The full list of participants goes alphabetically as follows: Carb queen, Cloud queen, Dame Ophelia Beaverhousen, Eduizz, Gioprideland, Greta gartergaard, Lady dang goose, Miss chaos neutre, Proud marina, Sugarbomb-donut, Vita mean dee and Wauka Mountain. They all entered the region between June 17 and 20, the period of time during which the gates to the region were open for everyone. After this date, Lady Anastasia again set a regional password and announced the first challenge.

The first episode saw the twelve initial queens tasked by Lady Anastasia to represent themselves as pin-up models and find the best way to challenge rigid cold patriarchal views of what women should look like. Judging took place the day after, and Vita Mean Dee and Miss Chaos Neutre were both declared the winners, while a staggering total of five queens were up for elimination. After the last chance to impress the judges, three were saved—myself (Gioprideland), Lady Dang Goose, and Proud Marina—while Carb Queen and Cloud Queen were both eliminated. Separately, Eduizz was also trebucheted from the competition even earlier due to not changing any of their custom fields in time.

In the second episode, the remaining nine queens had to research deep into herstory and pay homage to historically important drag queens. Some of the examples brought up by contestants were example: Princess Seraphina (the first English drag queen), William Dorsey Swann (the first to be born in slavery and to defend the LGBTQ+ right to gather), Arthur Blake (who performed as the Former First Lady of the US, Eleanor Roosevelt), José Julio Sarria (first openly gay candidate to run for public office in the US), and Julian Eltinge (a crossdressing vaudeville star). The winner of this episode was myself as Gioprideland, after mentioning the history of José Julio Sarria. Meanwhile, three queens were placed in the bottom—Greta Gartergaard, Sugarbomb-Donut, and Proud Marina—and only Marina saved.

After researching a lot about herstory, the remaining seven queens had to show their freakiest costumes in the third episode and see who would scary Lady Anastasia the most. Wauka Mountain was the winner of this episode, while Proud Marina was not saved unlike on other occasions, and thus was trebucheted along with Miss Chaos Neutre. This meant that only five contestants were left for the fourth episode, whose prompt was to present the most angelic drag they could think of, and which was won by Vita Mean Dee. However, both Wauka Mountain and Lady Dang Goose weren't lucky this time and were placed up for elimination. After a close Census For Your Life, Wauka Mountain was saved and joined the three other remaining queens for the final challenge, while Lady Dang Goose had to fly straight to the Rejected Realms.

Finally, the four remaining contestants were tasked with another challenge for one last time—Dame Ophelia Beaverhousen, Gioprideland (myself), Vita Mean Dee, and Wauka Mountain—were all asked to display their best drag that included beards. After the judges split hairs (from the contestants' beards of course), the results were announced. Firstly, Vita mean dee was declared First Runner-Up, meaning that they would be available to snatch the crown in the case an incident with the winner occurred. Secondly, I (Gioprideland) was named as Season 3's Miss Congeniality, "for being absolutely congenial" and "exuding positivity to everyone" in Lady Anastasia's own words.

Thirdly, and the moment everyone was waiting for, the winner of Season 3 of Dali's Drag Race was announced to be... Wauka Mountain, a.k.a. our delegate Dilber! Wauka Mountain then joined the previous winners, Amanda Flaughertmi and Boobsie Coochie, in the Winner's Circle, while the other contestants and viewers alike celebrated and congratulated the winners. This marked the official end of Season 3 of Dali's Drag Race, even though the memories will last for quite some time. In a closing note, I make sure to thank Lady Anastasia and Tracy martel for their awesome job as judges, and all the other contestants for participating and spending time to celebrate this part of LGBTQ+ culture. Here's to another great season next year!

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Crabby Tunes: Crustacean Faves

By Sir Chesapeake Blue, with Fuentana, Poet Laureate of Haiku

On behalf of all of those raving in the crab pyramids of the West Pacific Crab Sanctuary, I am happy to share some of our favorite crab rave bops. Special shoutout to caretaker Fuentana, who was ready in a pinch to help out with transcribing my voice notes.

Songs to Seas The Moment

Nothing gets us to wave our claws in the air quite like the OG Crabrave by Noisestorm. The main melody reminds us of the beaches of Trinidad and Tobago and the great steel melodies we hear whenever we migrate there. But we crustaceans also get enchanted by Back to the Future iconic tune Power of Love. Love is indeed tougher than diamonds and stronger than steel… but not as strong as our pincers. As for Daft Punk? One More Time is our favorite marching song when we migrate in pyramid form.

Songs To Make You Less Crabby

Did you know that Rock Lobster was Linklisted as one of the 500 greatest songs of all time by Rolling Stone? Jay-Z listed it higher than songs by Weezer, Justin Timberlake, and Bruce Springsteen. We're crusty that it didn't make the top 10, but the top 150 is pretty good company. It’s quirky, but so are crabs and their caretakers. Remember not to confuse rocks with our cousins. P.S., kids, please don't do drugs.

When you’re feeling shellshocked, blast some Disney. They’ve written some of the happiest songs in history. Who doesn’t get cheered up by Under The Sea or even the land-based song Hakuna Matata? We prefer the former for obvious reasons. Stay hydrated, my friends. And who doesn’t love to dance? That’s why we love Abba, though we hear some TWPers are not so hot on this classic bop.

Songs To Pump You Up

Crabs are experts at lateral movement, and we love blasting this tune as we get our lateral lunges in. We have a top-secret version where you substitute the word “crab” whenever you see the word “man.” Why? Well, a few reasons. First, the original was not gender-inclusive, and we believe in gender inclusivity. Second, the whole world is Linkevolving into crab—Wikipedia never lies. And in case you’re not convinced, LinkPopular Mechanics doesn’t lie either. Also Linkif Oxford University Press publishes it, it’s true. Mic drop. Game, set, match. Checkmate.

So let’s get down to business. Embrace. The. Crab.
Also, hi Dilber! All hail the crab king!

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Hall of Nations Update

By Zoran, Speaker of the Hall

Regional Commendations

July was a calm month for the Hall, but not one without activity! Discussion on the Regional Commendation of Westwind is still ongoing and can be found Linkhere. I encourage members of the Hall to contribute information or critique on the most recent draft of the regional commend. And if you have an idea for a nominee for the next regional commendation, you don’t have to wait for the current regional commend to be voted on, as you can still nominate people in the Linkmaster thread! Any nomination put there that is seconded by another member of the Hall will be next on the queue after the current one is voted on and passed.

The TWP Inquisition Strikes Again! (Government AMA)

Once again the TWP Inquisition has turned its curious head to a government member. This time it was our resident quark, Varanius, who is the region’s Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs (DMoFA) as well as being a Guardian on numerous occurrences in the delegacy of Bran Astor and the current delegacy of Dilber. While they are one to usually ask questions, they were willing to answer questions Hall members wanted to ask them. Here are some of the highlights from the thread:

Q: What has been your favorite moment since starting the game? Also, do you have any questions for me? :)Fuentana

A: Well, I’ve had a fair bit of really great moments in my relatively short time in the game, but I think my favorite would be the first time I was given BC for a week in TWP back in…oh wow that was last June. It was a joke, sure, but I enjoyed it quite a bit! Was fun, and inflated my ego a smidge at the time XD. And shouldn’t I save questions for you for your eventual AMA? :p

Q: How do you determine which regions/organisations/people are worth your time for planning events? And how frequently has “IC/GP drama” gotten in the way of things you’ve planned?Fhaengshia

A: Well, while I’d like to branch out more, most of the events I’ve tried to do so far have been with treaty allies. Sort of makes that easier. Only exception I can think of to that is the one I tried to hold with TSP. It’s also the only event I can recall not exactly going as planned, and that wasn’t because of GP drama.

Q: What is your favorite part of being Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs, and what do you consider the most important lesson you've learned in this job?Giovanniland

A: My favorite part is probably the fact that I can be a sort of “ambassador to everywhere”. My favorite part of being a diplomat was usually being able to meet new people and engage in a region I might not have interacted much with otherwise, and now I can do that in so many more places. There have definitely been a few moments where me forgetting to pay attention and remember basic details lead to…odd situations, so that’s probably what I’d put down as most important lesson.

Q: What do you think is your best moment in TWP and in NS?United Adaikes

A: Hmmmm. My best moment? Probably when I became DMoFA. Not only was it really enjoyable in the moment, it lead to a continuing period in my relatively short/bordering nonexistent NS career filled with learning and exploring.

Q: Favourite NSer? What is something you've not yet tried in NS that you'd like to have a go at?Wymondham

A: Depending on what you mean by the first one, there are a few answers. If you mean players who I interact with quite a bit that I really like as people, Dilber, yourself, and Xor all come to mind. If you mean players whose NS resume I really like and I admire from a more IC point of view, Dali, Dark, and Durk are options. The first two for their ability to somehow always be “the bad guy” no matter their region or position, and the last in part because I find the chaotic nature of his playstyle to be intriguing. And for something I haven’t tried I’d like to have a go at…well, triggering seems like a pretty good choice there XD.

Q: Who will serve as your minions when you coup?Darkesia

A: I assume the first one means I could choose anyone at all in TWP to serve as my minions. If so, Fuentana and Tera definitely. Fhaeng too. Gio also has some nice influence. Not at all willing to even hypothetically try to unretire the older players.

Q: What would you do if you were elected Defender of the Year?Zoran

A: Join LWU.

On behalf of the members of the Hall of Nations, I would like to thank Varanius for being willing to answer the questions Hall members had!

Hall Member of the Month

The Hall Member of the Month is an award created two months ago, at the beginning of my term as Speaker, to recognize and praise members of the Hall for their work. Those who are selected have shown their commitment to the region by going above and beyond what is expected of them as a HoN member by contributing to the region's culture, taking initiative in performing something in the region, and participating in the region in meaningful ways. I have decided to start announcing these people in these updates as well as on the discord server. We have had two members be nominated for this since I was elected, and those two members were Blue Bubble and Santos-Dominius. This month I would like to recognize and applaud United Adaikes for their efforts this month for their work in the region outside of their position as HoN Guardian for updating the Manners of Governance and the Etiquette with Giovanniland. Since Gio is a minister, which is a result of the work they have done in their time in the region, they were not eligible to be Hall Member of the Month. Adaikes did this on their own initiative and clearly went above and beyond what is expected of them, which is what earned them the award.

Finally, for those wondering how to participate in all that has been discussed in these updates: If you want to be able to participate in TWP government, ask questions during AMAs, or contribute to regional commendations then consider applying for the Hall of Nations on the offsite forums Linkhere. Be sure to read the instructions there, join our Discord server, maintain your HoN citizenship by making at least one forum post a month, and get involved in the region! I hope you consider joining us!

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The Haiku Review: A Special Issue

By United Adaikes, Fhaengshia, and Fuentana, Poet Laureate of Haiku

By Fuentana

All season long the
Poets never cease—even
When on hiatus

Rolling hills adorned
Swirling gold, green, purple, blue:
A much needed rest

By United Adaikes

While Haiku Review
Will be on hiatus, please
Don't forget these things

Join WA and please
Endorse Dilber and our strong
And mighty guardians

Hang out every day
In our RMB as we
Have many in store

But make sure you won't
Post spam and nonsense as you'll
Be reprimanded

Off-site, we have our
Very own Discord server
Link on WFE

We have different
Channels for everyone's craft
And likings, see you!

Want to engage more
With TWP's ins and outs?
Click this link right now!

By Fhaengshia

Gracing June each year
Audacious Queens compel us

Want to get more involved? Contact any of the authors to join our work as members of The West Pacific Fine Arts Society, a branch of The West Pacific Cultural Trust.

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Thanks for reading! Tell us about your favorite part on our RMB!
All your chocolate belongs to Darkesia
The Western Post Staff - Delegate-in-Editor-in-Chief: Dilber Editors: Fuentana, Fujai, Giovanniland – Staff: Aluminum Oxynitride, Blue Bubble, Bran Astor, Fhaengshia, Gryphonian Alliance, Nieubasria, Overthinkers, Podium, Qapaq Suyu, Recuecn, Teralyon, United Adaikes, Zoran, and YOU
All your chocolate belongs to Darkesia
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