by Max Barry

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by The Local Councillor of Melicorium. . 136 reads.

On Puppy Kicking - Melix 2021

Puppy kicking - it is widely regarded as a despicable, cruel, and inhumane act. It was popularized by Varanius, a West Pacifican also known for acting like and possibly even being a toddler.

In the previous Local Council elections, the Geriatric League organized a puppy kicking scandal against their opponents, but particularly targeted me, as I was competing with Beepee, one of their most important idols, for the third-place position. I revealed the truth that Cohuila Y Tejas, a friend of Vara, brainwashed me into kicking puppies. However, I still lost that election, as the Geriatric League’s cult misinterpreted my words and ramped up support for Beepee as a result. To this day, I respect Beepee for his genuinely charming and charismatic personality, and I considered him a worthy opponent.

With this new election, it is certain that new puppy kicking scandals will befall on the candidates. Since then, I have been indoctrinated to join Vara’s puppy kicking ring. Admittedly, once someone joins the ring, they will never escape from the temptation to kick puppies - thus, it is now too late for me to go back. Every time temptation pours in, I have to cut off my own wings and legs, but they can regenerate. As such, you might see me becoming maliciously excited whenever I am near a dog, but then behold me amputating my limbs several seconds later. If you are a dog, then I advise you to stay at least six feet away from me in case I do try to kick you.

In conclusion, I have kicked puppies before and still do, though I prevent myself from doing so most of the time. However, there is more to me than puppy kicking. If you want to find out more about me, feel free to read the dispatch below!

LinkWho should you vote for?

I want a Local Councillor that cares about the South Pacific's Regional Message Board. Someone who will keep the gameside engaged, will keep the rule-breakers in check, and will assist new South Pacificans! But who should I vote for?

*walks in from the shadows*
Why hello there, comrades. It is I, the one and only Stan Melix, Chairman of the United Socialist States of America Melicorium, but you can refer to me as my more widely known alias, "Melix". I am running for a position in the Local Council of the South Pacific.

Hello there! I'm glad to meet you, Melix. Do you actually fit in to all of the things I mentioned?

Of course I do!

  • I like to say hello on the RMB whenever I can, frequently engage in conversations, and sometimes make roleplay posts. According to Article 5, Section 1 of Linkthe Charter of the South Pacific, one of the duties of the Local Council is to encourage activity on the gameside, and I have the potential to do that.

  • It is widely known on the gameside that I greet literally every other new South Pacifican that shows up on the RMB. I will continue to do exactly that, giving new South Pacificans guides to help get them started and a fresh, cold can of Melicorian SPIT. This is one of the major reasons I won TSP's Lampshade Award for RMBer of the Year (of 2020), which you can read more about in the dispatch listed below. I will even recruit people for the Assembly or the South Pacific Special Forces, both of which I am a member of, every once in a while!

    • My high-quality hospitality towards new South Pacificans has inspired Taigama and Ipugao to also be generous towards newbies. I thank them for their help!

  • I regularly check the RMB to read through my missed posts. While I do that, I take note of rule-breaking posts, telling their posters about their rule-breaking. If the violations get bad enough, I poke the Local Council about it, and I then sit back and happily wait for the rule-breaker(s) to be hit with a Council on Regional Security member's banhammer.

  • This is not related to what you said, but in the past, I have made several interesting polls in various regions. In TSP, my polls could maybe be on par with Auphelia's famous polls.

Wow! It seems like you've been in the region for quite a while. Can you tell me more about your history?

I first played NationStates in 2016 as Melicoria, but I ditched it after about a week. Melicorium was created in the South Pacific on February 23, 2020, and I have been a resident of the region ever since. In the time between then and now, I became active on the RMB, made several friends, joined the regional forums and Discord server, ran a good campaign for the Local Council and lost (but I didn't give up hope), enlisted in the South Pacific Special Forces, made more friends, joined the Assembly, ran a better campaign for the Local Council and lost again (but I still didn't give up hope, thus resulting in the campaign that I am currently running), made even more friends, and more recently, started participating in another region. You can read a detailed account of my history on NS in the dispatch listed at the bottom of this page.

That's quite a bit! Now tell me, what are some of your thoughts on running the gameside?

The South Pacificans of the RMB will not have proper enjoyment on the RMB unless the rules are enforced - that's exactly why the rules exist. People don’t need to troll, but trolling can ruin the experience for others. Every South Pacifican has the right to freely converse and enjoy themselves on the RMB, as long as their posts follow the RMB rules.. I will ensure that I uphold my beliefs throughout my term by enforcing the rules.

What are some other things unrelated to your campaign that you believe?

  • As a soldier in the SPSF, I uphold the Defenderist ideal, and believe that regions, unless they promote hateful ideologies like fascism, Nazism, and extreme nationalism, have the right to determine their own government and appearance without foreign intervention, and that this right must be protected.

  • For years, there has been a trivial debate in TSP about whether cake or pie is superior. In reality, ice cream is superior to both of them. Hail the eternal Supreme Leader Amerion!

You seem really interesting so far! How about this - are you willing to open up about some of your weaknesses?

  • I feel like my most important weakness is opening up about my weaknesses themselves - but not discussing how I will deal with them. This is likely what caused Volaworand to launch a satirical puppy-kicking scandal against me in the previous LC election as part of his ploy to bring Beepee to power. I plan to deal with this weakness by, well, discussing how I will deal with my weaknesses.

  • This is very rare, but I can get extremely angry at something trivial - an example would be my reaction to the aforementioned scandal. Instead, I can talk it out with the person who provoked me, and we can eventually come to an agreement.

  • Sometimes, I cannot tell whether something is a joke or not - an example of this would be, once again, the puppy-kicking scandal. I can deal with this by simply ignoring or walking away from something if I cannot make it out as serious or a joke.

  • Earlier this month, I blatantly expressed my discontent with Taigama for their also greeting new TSPers and assistance in the enforcement of RMB rules, and saw it as a competition. After a little lesson, I plan to just let others be just as nice and helpful to their fellow South Pacificans as I am.

Thank you for being open with me. Is there anything else you want to say about your campaign?

Thank you for considering my campaign, fellow South Pacifican. I am glad that you want someone like me to be a Local Councillor. If you want a Local Councillor who will do his job well, can relate with the jolly people of the South Pacific, and distribute free SPIT to everyone, vote Melix in the polls!

Of course I will! One more thing before I go - how can I support your campaign, and how can I contact you?

If you want to support my campaign:

  • Change your national flag to this:
  • If you are able to change your national classification (pretitle), change it to "Melix 2021".

  • If you are on the TSP Discord server, change your nickname to "Melix 2021".

If you want to talk to me or ask me questions privately, you can telegram Melicorium or New Melicorium, or DM me on Discord (Hoy Vux#1391).

Thank you, and see you later!
You know what? Melix 2021!

See you, South Pacifican! Remember to vote Melix for Local Councillor!

If you want to ask me questions publicly, feel free to do so, and I will post your question and my response to your question here.

Concrete Slab wrote:Also/Your stance/on double posting/what is it

I support the current policy that allows one to double post as long as their previous post was made one hour or more ago.

Ipugao wrote:What is the origin of your name po?

I am still working out my new canon, so as of right now, it has no meaning.

On Puppy Kicking:
Poll Capability:
Conflict of Interest:


Purple Hyacinth - Revising and editing, media approval
FiHami - Media approval
Cohuila Y Tejas/Southern Shrekistan - Media approval
Concrete Slab - Revising and editing, giving me a little lesson about tolerance
Taigama - Assistance with my good deeds
Ipugao - Assistance with my good deeds

Read dispatch