by Max Barry

Latest Forum Topics

Ad From Max

Providence: The new novel by Max Barry, creator of NationStates

5

DispatchBulletinNews

by The Garden of Earthly Delights of Jabberwocky. . 68 reads.

The Mad Surfer, December 2020

THE MAD SURFER
The Official Newspaper of the 10000 Islands
December 2020

November 2020 | October 2020 | September 2020 | August 2020

"Reading someone else's newspaper is like sleeping with someone else's wife.
Nothing seems to be precisely in the right place, and when you find
what you are looking for, it is not clear then how to respond to it."

– Malcolm Bradbury

Weather: sunny
Water temp: perfect!
Waves: nice medium swell

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

Whether the season means Kris Kringle or Kwaanzai or Krampus, TMS will go out on a limb and risk offending the overly sensitive by hoping you have a great holiday season...even if you don’t believe in such humbug!


POLITICS
The Council of Nine
Last Updated: November 2020

Chief Executive: Markanite
Delegate: HumanSanity
Minister of Labor: Free Las Pinas
Minister of Immigration: Thedairos
Minister of Education: Grea Kriopia
Senator for New Republica South: Controlitia
Senator for Himes West: Wille-Harlia
Senator for Blue Canaria North: Wischland
Senator for Lyonnesse East: Aschente

-Deputy Minister of Education: Kohnhead
-Deputy Senators for Himes West: Central Russia, Margaux

The month in between elections is often quiet as our dedicated public servants keep their noses to the grindstone of public service. But the Capital Building on Taco Island is abuzz this December. Our beloved Chef Executive Markanite has announced the first 10000 Islands Review, giving citizens a chance to offer their opinions on many weighty matters, such as What Should the Delegate do? What would you like to see the WAS do? How to develop Taco Island? What would you like to see the Chief Executive do more of? This is your big chance to complain to our government officials the way you claim to want to do when you're down at the pub with the boys. The way you kvetch to your BFFs. People, this is better than a census, because you get to speak. Let them, and us, know how you feel, what you think, here:
Link10000islands.proboards.com/board/260/10000-islands-review. The review runs throughout the month of December.

The departure of THX1138 resulted in an opening for the Minister of Immigration. We welcome the newly appointed Thedairos as MoI.


PAID ADVERTISEMENT

It's time to rediscover the LinkXKI Casino and a whole new level of entertainment! Come and experience all that's new at the LinkXKI Casino. It's a whole new game!
You're gonna need a bigger wallet...

PAID ADVERTISEMENT


BUSINESS NEWS

Exciting news for those who invest in individual stocks! The Regional Reserve has announced the inception of three new stocks, representing three nations with whom we are in very good standing: Forest, Europe, and The Union of Democratic States. This good work is due to the behind the scenes machinations of Louisistan. However, it is not our intent to steal RR's thunder. Here's the official announcement: Link10000islands.proboards.com/thread/40513/new-stocks-available.

Those who fail to understand the interrelated aspect of virtually everything will never comprehend the intricacies and complexity of the stock market. Events that occurred months ago, such as an earthquake, may yet have rippling effects that are felt today. Fortunately, we have The Regional Reserve to give us a primer in causality:

Last month, there was a huge uptick in shipbuilding (click here) due to October's underwater volcano and resulting tsunami (click here). Well, as one might expect, if you build a lot of ships, you've gotta use them for trade in order to recover the cost of their construction. As a result, those with the shop item Container Shipping realize a 250 taco bonus for each of those ships. 

Mortimer Printout - December 2020
Economic Outlook
Sector: 3 - Regular Economy
Item: Container Shipping
Bonus: 250 Ŧ
Mitigation: N/A
Adjustment: N/A
Stock Market:
From 01-November-2020 to 30-November-2020
Average Change: -87 Ŧ
Percent Change: 0%—Stocks Decline
Average Dividend (Base/Dividend): (305/305)

Performance of individual stocks can be found here: Link10000islands.proboards.com/thread/40476/decembers-ship-traffic-increases?page=1&scrollTo=1801508.


BEHIND THE NATION

This month's guest was recently elected to serve as Senator of Lyonesse East, Thedairos, who recently moved up as the new Minister of Immigration.

TMS: What country are you from?
- I'm from Germany.

TMS: What’s the grossest food you ever had to eat to be polite?
- When I was in France, I once had some mash made of corn or grain and it tasted awful, but I still had to eat it because it was the main dish and I was hungry.

TMS: Who is your favorite musician?
- I don't have a favorite musician. I mostly listen to rock and metal music, especially bands like System Of A Down, Sabaton, Linkin Park and Skillet.

TMS: What afterschool activity did you quit as a kid, and why?
- I used to play handball for a long time, but I eventually quit because it became boring and I wanted to try something new.

TMS: If you could turn the ocean into a liquid other than water, which one would you pick?
- I would probably pick ice tea.

TMS: What is your favorite conspiracy theory? And do you believe in it?
- There is a conspiracy theory in Germany that the town of Bielefeld actually doesn't exist. It is more of a joke, but it has even gone so far that the mayor offered a prize to the person who could prove that Bielefeld in fact doesn't exist.

TMS: Do you have a favorite author? If you could make them write for any TV show which TV show would it be.
- My favorite author is Markus Heitz, a German Fantasy-, Horror- and SciFi- author who often includes actual historical happenings in his stories. I don't really watch TV a lot, so I don't have any preferences there.

TMS: If you could ban 1 food from the face of the planet what would you ban?
- I don't think it's necessary to ban food when you can just decide not to eat it, but if I had to choose one, I would say olives.

TMS: What is your favorite hobby?
- I really like Kendo. It is something I got into only recently and I haven't had the chance to try it out myself yet, but I'm already looking forward to when the COVID-19 pandemic is over and the dojo will be open again.Apart from that, I regularly ride my bike, read books and play video games.

TMS: Who is your favorite comic book character?
- I never really read comic books.

TMS: What vice could you never give up?
- Cheesecake

TMS: If you could be any animal, what animal would you be?
- I would like to be a duck, then I could move on water, the ground and in the air and people would feed me bread in parks.

TMS: What will be the title of your autobiography?
-'There is nothing to read here'

TMS is asking its readers to donate their used comic books to the Senator in order to overcome what is clearly a cultural deficiency.


WA SCENE

It is with a heavy heart that we publish today the last of the popular articles covering the World Assembly. Our close friend and comrade in arms, THX1138, has made the decision to leave the 10000 Islands. His peculiar and highly idiosyncratic perspective on WA affairs will be sorely missed. Here is his final column.

This will be my last installation of WA Scene, and I wish to extend my gratitude to The Mad Surfer for the opportunity to contribute to this underappreciated regional gem. Thanks as well to the editorial staff for indulging me in my various riffs, rants, and repartee over the last year.

This week's entry will be a bit pedestrian, as I'm in something of a somber place, but I would like to thank all who took the time to read my monthly ramblings, and hope they have been enjoyable.

Finally, an appeal to support your regional newspaper. The Mad Surfer takes time and effort to create each month, but without readers, it will simply cease to be.

For November then, and one last spin around the sun…

GAR#520 "Landfill Regulation Act": Mainly dealing with landfill management, regulations around their placement, and operating standards to minimize environmental impact to adjacent areas and the water table. Well constructed, and passed with 79% support, but destined for a quick repeal down the list.

SCR#329 "Commend Moreover": Well known WA author and bon vivant, Moreover, was acknowledged for their work in both the SC and GA, and regional contributions in TNP and TRR. 84% voted for.

GAR#521 "Repeal 'GMO International Trade Accord'": A few flaws in the original were highlight in the repeal, including some vague language around language and some vulnerable definitions. 80% agreed that the target should be repealed.

SCR#330 "Repeal 'Commend Wintony'": This repeal cited some limitations in the target's contributions, which were mainly regional in nature, and offset to some degree by some controversial behaviour. 83% of voters supported repeal.

GAR#522 "Protecting Sites of Religious Significance": With many instances of religious sites being subject to desecration and destruction from other sects, this proposal seeks to protect them and passed with 65% support.

SCR#331 "Commend Sierra Lyricalia": Another heavy-weight in the community, ongoing Gen-Sec, and contributor to the forging of dozens of resolutions through that role. An overdue commendation that passed with 90% of the vote.

GAR#523 "Patient Travel Freedoms": A framework for the provision of and allowable restrictions on medical care to those seeking it across international boundaries. 81% support.

SC "Commend Ariusgrad" (did not pass): Written under nom de plume by an author you just might know; this one met some resistance from voters. A lesser known target, and perhaps a scope of accomplishment that didn't range widely enough to wow led to 68% opposition

GAR#524 "Repeal 'Supporting and Valuing the Humanities'": If at first you don't succeed in repealing a resolution, making the next attempt 25% more condescending seems to do the trick. 85% for.

SC "Commend Twobagger" (did not pass): Contentious, a bit of a political football, and with some glaring omissions and inaccuracies, this one failed to pass with 53% against.

GAR#525 "Repeal 'Landfill Regulation Act'": The aforementioned repeal, which wasn't all that strong, but environmental legislation tends to meet the same objections time after time. Those who feel this sort of resolution overreaches and interferes with the conduct of business find a way to bring them down, and 62% of voters did just that.

SCR#332 "Commend Kenmoria": Prolific WA author Kenmoria was celebrated for their many resolutions written and co-written, as well as their ongoing contributions through the WA forums. 81% support.

GAR#526 "Land Reclamation Regulation": As defined by this legislation, reclamation represents the manufacture of land areas in existing marine areas and provides regulation around the practice to protect marine ecosystems. Passed with 77% of the vote.

SCR#333 "Condemn The Free Joy State": A really nicely written IC Condemnation, citing Issue authorship and nefarious national character simultaneously. 70% support

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

As the door closes on Mr.T, yet another door has opened. Next month we feature a new columnist to cover the WA. Stay tuned!


JOURNALISM

While TMS prides itself as being among the vanguard of Regional newspapers, we recognize both that we are not alone in the world of journalistic publications, and that there is a far larger world that we do little to cover. Fortunately, there are those who do operate in arenas to which we do not attend. One of that ilk is La xinga, who seems to pick up a large portion of our slack. We urge our readers to stay abreast of NS affairs by reading this sterling global newspaper, The Nationstates News. The November issue is here:
This is an NS News
SPECIAL EDITION

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NATIONSTATES NEWS

Free of bias since August 9th 2020!

NUMBER OF NATIONS:

Place Region Yesterday Today

#1 Chicken overlords 11,080 11,030
#2 The North Pacific 10,621 10,630
#3 The East Pacific 9,762 9,751
#4 The South Pacific 8,734 8,742
#5 Lazarus 7,432 7,305
#6 Osiris 7,397 7,276
#7 Balder 7,334 7,196
#8 The Rejected Realms 6,831 6,869
#9 The Pacific 6,844 6,812
#10 The West Pacific 6,123 6,117

WA RANKINGS:

In the GA, "Land Reclamation Regulation" is up for the vote, and it is ranked SAFE FOR.
In the SC, "Commend Kenmoria" is up for the vote, and it is also ranked SAFE FOR.

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening. We have not posted an NS News Dispatch for over 6 weeks. And with Z-day and an election in the US, I have decided to declare this our first SPECIAL EDITION. So let's get to it!

Z-day was a mess in most regions, but especially in the Sinkers. Those regions were the provinces of Zombiania. Forest and NationStates undoubtedly did the best this time around, as well as last time. Kyupaa, the nation with the most people in the entire game, had the most survivors this time, as well as last time! The percentages of Z-day had more infected than last time in the end result, and survivors and dead had less percentage wise than last time. All in all, amazing Z-Day.

Then the US election. *sighs* As Trump was leading in the polls, NSers began to predict a Trump Electoral victory, but as Biden began leading, the majority of them predicted a Biden one. All in all, a poll found that the majority of NSers thought the election results to be "A Little of Both Good and Bad," with the majority of others saying that the results were either "Mostly Good" or plain and simple "Good."

There is extremely sad news in Moderation now, Issues Moderator Ransium has resigned as a Moderator and Issue Editor. The NS community wishes Ransium luck on whatever his/her next step will be. Also, Game Moderator Crazy girl seems to have appeared out of nowhere while I wasn't looking and somehow became a mod? I cannot find any sources regarding Crazy Girl's appointment, so...........I guess the name fits.

It was a bad day for most of the Top 10 in NoN', although it was an especially bad day for the sinkers, where they all lost more than 100 Nations. The Rejected Realms overtook The Pacific, and Big Farma overtook the Allied Nations of Egalaria. We will also be changing how we do NoN' next edition. Instead of comparing yesterday's to today's, we will compare Last Edition's to This Edition's.

And the South Pacific is furious at The Black Hawks for "violating their sovereignty." The South Pacific has reported that TBH nations created puppets to highly influence their RMB debates on World Assembly proposals. They have it that there's proof for it too. (Read Article.)

Anyway, The Kingdom of Great Britain was Europeia's region of the week, TNP's Vice-Delegate Weekly Update is out, It seems Enadia had elections, and the Layem Times put out another issue, and TSP put out another delegate address. The featured region today is Dreamtime, congratulations!

OPINIONS:

Should Moderators be elected?

By La xinga



I created an election game on the forum some time ago, and one candidate suggested that if he was elected, he'll make mods be elected. Whether he actually wanted this or not, it raises an interesting question. So let's look into it: Should Mods be elected? Let's see the Pros and Cons.

First the Pros: Everything good about Democracy. Also, it could strike the rumors of Moderator Brutality. Think so and so Mod has been unjust? VOTE HIM/HER OUT! It can also make the average NSer more interested in Moderation and how the sight works.

Then there are the Cons. Some may worry that if Moderators need to fear of losing reelection, they might rule "Not Actionable" on cases in order to win support among NSers. There's also a fear of nations finding ways to rig the system. Then there's also a fear of electing people who don't know how to mod. If you don't have good mods, then it's like there's no mods, and if there's no mods...............yeah.

So what do you think? Should moderators be elected?

STORIES:

What is your favorite part of being delegate?

By La xinga



We asked a couple of delegates what their favorite part of being delegate is. We will not be mentioning the delegate names or regions, although we will mention what they said:

  • As a large Delegate, I would have to say waiting for the clock to tick over and the update to start before a new proposal I'm personally against comes to vote, just so I can crush the author's hopes and dreams by throwing a whole bunch of votes against it. Something something lemming effect.

    I think this is a guilty pleasure of any large Delegate, really.

  • Hi there La xinga!

    Um ... I think I would say being able to crush the WA vote by voting first haha ^_^

    Cheers,
    *NATION*

  • I get to do my part in helping *REGION* stay stable and fun.

  • My favorite part of being delegate is creating an orderly system that everyone can agree to. There is something to be said about installing fair rules and uniform organization, I didn’t run because I wanted to be in charge, I ran for delegate because I saw improvements that could be made to benefit everyone.

    Not to mention the aesthetic part. Making a region look professional and simple makes it look much more enticing, seeing new people interested in out region is always heart warming, and seeing them stay because of the system I took a great part in is even more heart warming.

    I must say I always enjoy the feedback and help I get from fellow *REGION*ans, seeing people take interest in our region beyond RMB and the people that are inside it. I am still working hard to organize my region, and fulfill the promises I made in my campaign.

  • having power xd

  • Frankly? Being "in charge" of the most awesome region and wholesome community. Being free to give it all a direction.

  • In *REGION* the Delegate is traditionally in charge of our efforts in the assorted NS events like N-Day, Z-Day, and the April Fool's events. I think those are certainly the best part, helping everyone work together so *REGION* can shine on a world stage!

And that's it! Which one of these messages do you think were the best?

I will also try to make NS News more often.

Read dispatch




FEATURED NATION

Our Deputy Minister of Education, Kohnhead, has appointed the newest 10000 Islands Featured Nation, Astrobolt, nation=astrobolt.

The Council of Astrobolt is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Chairperson Flame with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and national health service. The compassionate, democratic population of 2.806 billion Astros hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Galactus. The average income tax rate is 87.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

Naturally, there's more to it than that, and you can find it here: Link10000islands.proboards.com/thread/40379/10000-islands-featured-nation-astrobolt?page=1&scrollTo=1800170.[/i]



EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES

The Mad Surfer is looking for highly qualified, motivated, dedicated writers. But maybe you would like to try your hand at it, too. And now WE CAN PAY YOU! Yes, we actually now have a payroll department! Pay commensurate with talent and ability to ingratiate oneself with Editor. Stringent job examination includes placing a mirror in front of your mouth to see if it fogs up. Please notify Jabberwocky or The Mad Surfer to apply.

Ministry of Labor is seeking an artist to render six Knight statues. For details, read this: Link10000islands.proboards.com/thread/40289/sextuple-knight-statue-designs-needed.

There is currently an opening for an Emissary to Europe. Apply here: Link10000islands.proboards.com/thread/40514/hiring-emissary-europe.




You, too, can be one of the lucky few. Have TMS delivered right to your virtual door: Linkhttp://10000islands.proboards.com/thread/35671/subscription-sign-list.

The Mad Surfer is:

Staff Writers: THX1138, Sandy Shoals, Jabberwocky.
Associate Editor: Grea Kriopia
Editor in Chief/Circulation/Advertising: Jabberwocky

RawReport