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Dispatch → Factbook → Trivia
by 
The Corporate Bureacracy of Kancia.
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56 reads.
Ekhon Numik’s FREE Jet Rides!
Disclaimer: Jet rides have a 99.999% chance of killing you. Common side effects include: Drowing, Breaking 90% of your bones, Hyperthermia, Shock and in most cases, Death. Jet tours are not voluntary, when the KFSA knocks on your door, you will be thrown out of a plane in the next 36 hours.
Need a tour? Well look no further than Ekhon Numik’s Jet Rides! A guaranteed fun experience! Join the over 5,000 people have experienced this once in a lifetime tour, that was so good that none of them survived! Numik’s free tours go all across the world, be it Antarctica, Siberia, Alaska, The Pacific, The Atlantic, Caribbean, Mediterranean, Arctic or even The Himalayas! People such as communists, leftists, environmental activists, dissidents, journalists, political opponents and other suspected traitors have a 100% higher chance of getting these rides, so criticize dear leader to get a taste of what the Arctic Ocean really feels(it’s VERY cool). You can even find floating bodies in the sea if you’re lucky! The reviews are as high as the airplanes we drop our clients from! If you don’t believe us, then listen to how speechless our tourists are:
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-5,000+ suspected political opponents/dissidents
See, it’s a breath-taking experience, that LITERALLY takes your breath! The best part is, THEY’RE FREE! Communists love free stuff so our glorious leader gives them free rides! It’s a win-win! It is as simple as one can get. The process only takes a day or two, and there is no paperwork. Once the KFSA knocks on your door, you will be taken to a high speed jet to be thrown into some of the wonders of the world. It’s like sky diving without the parachute! All you have to do is be an enemy of the state to have a higher chance of being signed up for the once in a lifetime ride! Who wouldn’t love this tour?
This message was sponsored by the KFSA
