by Max Barry

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by The I'm an issue writer now of Lansaka. . 5 reads.

Last Week's News: 6/28/2020 to 7/1/2020

Hello, Lansaka! You are listening to FM 96.6 Lansaka National News!

This is our Thursday weekly rundown.

Thursday, June 25th:

Chaos broke out after 75 Cobra Rattlesnakes were released at a dinner party in Gyrod City. 3 people were killed, and dozens more were in critical condition.

Acting President Rodney Gyrod released a transcript of a conversation he had with Gregory Husef back in April. The transcript showed Husef's threats of killing him to remove his title.

Lansaka was devastated when Brogan Hiro, the first President of the Republic of Lansaka, died of a heart attack.

Friday, June 26th:

A mass funeral for the victims of the Lansaka National Seashore shooting was held just days after the death toll was risen to 87. An 88th body was found shortly after the funeral and was buried with the others.

The death toll of people in Lansaka that had coronavirus passed the 300,000 threshold, with only 193 of those deaths confirmed to have been caused by COVID.

Legislation from the General Assembly of Lansaka was passed banning the ownership of bazookas, with only the National Army, Regional Army, and Interregional Army allowed to possess them.

The Fascist Party of Lansaka was eradicated after claims that the members were trying to turn Lansaka into a modern-day version of Fascist Italy.

The funeral for Gordon Lane, the 6-year-old who was killed by a trash compacter last week, was held and lasted for seven hours.

Saturday, June 27th:

The number of coronavirus cases rose to 17,000,000. So far, over 4,000,000 of those had gone away already.

Sunday, June 28th:

The funeral for Brogan Hiro was held in Lafa City.

Monday, June 29th:

A massive uranium deposit was found underneath the Lansaka National Rainforest. The government only allowed a small percentage of it to be mined to avoid damage to the rainforest.

An assassin attempted to take Rodney Gyrod's life as he walked across the street. The assassin was immediately caught.

Tuesday, June 30th:

A gunman killed three people during a road rage incident. The government passed legislation that further protected the right to bear arms despite protests outside the office of Acting President Gyrod.

Wednesday, July 1st:

219 people were killed when Bigtopian Airlines Flight 877 crashed into a field 15 miles outside of Little Zahana, a small town just outside the Lafa City Metropolitan Area. All flights in Lansaka, Bigtopia, Lilliput, and Maxtopia were grounded in an effort to figure out whether the crash was caused by terrorists.