by Max Barry

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by The Dictatorship of Swiftlandian Peoples Republic. . 8 reads.

Important Dispatches to remember and get inspiration to do stuff from

Issue #001

Table of Contents

Weekly Highlights
By Ashtie

Hey everyone! Welcome to our first issue! Iím super excited about this project and I appreciate everyone who has contributed to make this possible. Letís get to the news!

New Officers

Last week our new regional officers took office. Letís welcome them here!
WA Delegate: Vavax
Vice-Delegate: States in perpetual federation
Secretary of Internal Affairs: Merni
Secretary of Foreign Affairs: South Norun
Secretary of Cultural Affairs: Federal southern cities

May this new government bring prosperous times to the Labyrinth! Hail Minos!

Recruitment Campaign

I recently bought some stamps in hopes of expanding our regionís community. Who knew money could buy you friends, right? If youíre a newcomer in the region, welcome! We hope you enjoy your stay.

Possible Color Theme Change

King Minos II has grown tired of the same old ketchup/mustard theme that our region has sported since its founding in 2014. This week, our residents will be given a list of new color themes to choose from. The most popular choice will be implemented in the World Factbook Entry (and also a new flag!). Residents: Keep an eye out for the poll and choose stylishly!

Thatís all Iíve got, folks. If you get through the rest of this paper and decide you want to be a part of this mess, join our regional discord and reach out to either myself or our Managing Editor, Merni. Whether you want to join our team or simply submit a guest article for us occasionally, we welcome and appreciate you!

How to World Assembly
By Vavax

This is a beginnerís guide to the WA.

The World Assembly, one of the most integral parts of NationStates, the institution that makes the world go round. Not really, but itís still an incredibly important aspect of the NationStates experience and general gameplay.

What is the WA, you may ask. Well hold on, Iím about to explain it to you. Geez, so pushy. The WA, or World Assembly if you will, has multiple parts to it. One is WA membership and what it allows you to do, the second is the General Assembly, and the third is the Security Council. Weíll start with World Assembly membership. Being a member of the WA is as simple as having a nation, going to the World Assembly tab on the left side of the website and clicking ďApply to join.Ē Then you just stick in your email, and theyíll send you one within a few minutes confirming your nationís entry. Now a whole new realm of possibilities is open to you! One thing you can do is vote in NationStatesís General Assembly (GA) and Security Council (SC). The two are the legislative bodies of NationStates, and are modeled on the UN. (Fun fact, originally the WA was called the UN before Max Barry got a cease and desist notice from the real UN. The SC came much later than the GA as wll.) The General Assembly is where one can submit and vote on resolutions that affect the in- game stats of your nation, such as if a resolution makes trout fishing harder, your trout fishing stat will go down. Also they spawn debates amongst people because they deal with real world issues but thatís boring and itís easier to not pay attention to it. Then thereís the Security Council which deals in commending nations and regions (telling them theyíre cool) and condemning nations and regions (basically still telling them theyíre cool.) In addition to this, they can issue liberations, which prevent the passwording of a region should if be invaded by raiders, which weíll touch on more in just a minute.

Alright, thanks for the text wall Vavax, Iím not going to read anymore. Okay okay, just a bit more. Probably the most important thing you can do with the WA (in my opinion) is issue World Assembly Endorsements to other WA nations. With these endorsements entire new realms of possibility open up. In regions, the nation with the most endorsements becomes the World Assembly Delegate, a position that has wide sway in the World Assembly, with its votes in the General Assembly and Security Council being equal to the number of endorsements it has. In addition, depending on the regionís laws and rules, it can be a position second in power to only the founder of the region.

Before we end this exercise in poorly timed and probably all-around unfunny jokes, letís touch on raiding. Now, raiding is where one or more regions use WA Endorsements to endorse one of their own nations in another region, in order to allow that nation to take control. By doing so, the raiders can take over the region (especially if the founder has ceased to exist or is inactive.) This is why itís important to endorse your delegate! As the more endorsements a delegate has, the more raiders are needed to actually take over a region.

This is the point where we get into the shameless request: if youíre a member of The Labyrinth, make sure to endorse me! That way our region can stay secure, and I will have a sense of fleeting satisfaction. Also endorse States in perpetual federation because then heíll be able to take over as delegate if I explode. Which is his job.

Nation of the Week
By King Minos II

Every week King Minos II will choose a nation to feature and talk about their NationStates stats. Stick around and maybe one day itíll be you!

Arturo Ortiga is lead by a sultan. To become a sultan, you and two others will be selected by the sultan as candidates. Then, there is a vote by the citizens to choose a new sultan.
Legislative power is handled by the sultan while Judicial power is handled by an appointed official.

Military conscription exists. From the age of 20 to 21 (1 year). If you cannot be conscripted because of illness or other special conditions then you have to pay the fines.

There is a limited autonomy to almost every province, each province is governed by a governor that is appointed by the sultan.

Environment control is very strict in order to maintain environmental beauty for future generations.

Most sectors are government controlled, while a small part is privatised.

2.6 billion Ortigans are ruled by Arturo Ortiga, with a population density of 1,319 people/Km2.

The country was established in 1390 as a unification of several different kingdoms.

The nationís capital is ArturoCity, with a population of around 50 million people, and the countries national and official language is Turkish.

What is Arturo Ortigaís highest elevation?

  1. 3,299 meters above sea level

  2. 5,011 meters above sea level

  3. 4558 meters above sea level

  4. 3488 meters above sea level

Regional Issue of the Week
By Arturo ortiga

Every week Arturo ortiga will draft up a fictional issue based on the current happenings of the Labyrinth. The choices will be featured in a regional poll.

The Issue:
There is an increasing number of new nations joining The Labyrinth, and the government is unsure what to do. Several opinions have been put forward by many of the region's residents, and now it's time for you to decide.
The Debate
1. "More new people are joining the Labyrinth? Glory to The Labyrinth!", said a prominent sanitary expert, Hammer Britannia, while mopping the floor. "The Labyrinth is rising again to rule NationStates! HIP HIP, HURRAH!" he screams, throwing his mop into the air.
2. "OUCH! Would you please be more careful? I'm trying to enjoy my drink here," said Ashtie, the mop having fallen on her head while she was drinking a non-alcoholic beverage. She sighs. "Dealing with the newbies in the region was already hard enough, we don't need any more. We should make all new entries pass a test to prove their worth! No more annoying clueless noobs! OH YEAH!" She tosses her glass upwards and runs out of the room.
3. "Ashtie, that's too..." States in Perpetual Federation cries out mid-sentence as the glass falls on his head with a loud crash, making him bleed profusely. "People, we need to relax a bit. Why don't we let the river flow on its own? And then we do some wobble juggle tappity huuuu..." His voice trails off as he crashes on the floor.
4. As the debate halts to allow medics to attend to him, Merni beckons to you from a quiet corner. "See what happened there? Things are going to get only more heated with time," he whispers. "We shouldn't continue like this. Invite each of them to speak to you once, alone, with a time limit and without any dangerous objects in the room. Peaceful debate is the way forward."

Torturing People With Nickelback
By Hammer Britannia

This is a work of fiction submitted to us by a guest writer. It is an abomination and we had to butcher it so hard that it looks nothing like the original. Feel free to submit guest articles to us!

The absolutely disgusting government of Hammer Britannia legalized torture as a form of law enforcement 5 years ago and recently they added a new controversial toolÖ Nickelback. People accused of violent crimes such as murder, rape, treason, and liking pineapple on pizza are subjected to the horrid cacophony of a Nickelback song until they spit out a confession. This new method has not affected the crime rates at all and has only caused laughter within the nation. Many organizations have condemned this inhumane practice, including the WA, ISIS, the KKK, PETA, the AU and the EU. In response, Hammer Britannia simply sends these critics a .gif file of Mr. Burns from the Simpsons giving the middle finger.

Dear Lady Ashtie
By Ashtie

Q: What are some good to get my nation more well known in the region? (Submitted by King Minos)

A: Well, first of all, youíre the king. If that isnít enough to make you well known then youíre doing a bad job.
Haha. Jokes aside, as a new member of any region it can be daunting to dip your feet into the water and interact with people who are already well established in the region. What I love about the Labyrinth is that no matter how many residents we have, there is always the small tight knit community that welcomes new people (well except Merni *cough*).
No matter where you go, though, thereís always a few things you can do to get people to pay attention to you.

  • Post on the Regional Message Board, or quote people who have already posted and respond to them.

  • Participate in elections, whether it be running for office or putting your support behind a candidate.

  • Endorse random people and hope they endorse you back.

  • Talk about politics. People love that.

Hope this helps!
~Lady Ashtie

Telegram Ashtie some questions to answer in the next issue!

Letter to the Editor
óHammer Britannia

Due to there being no other responses, we had to include this frankly ridiculous letter. Please send a letter for the next issue if you have any opinions on real-life politics, regional affairs, or anything else. Letters should be sent by telegram to Merni.

By Real equestria

This was originally a sample comic for Equestria to show off her skills. Unfortunately her computer would not let her make a real one for this week, so we just edited the graphic text on this comic. Hopefully next week will go better.


Ashtie: Editor-in-Chief
Merni: Managing Editor
Vavax: Features Editor
Arturo ortiga: Features Writer- Fiction
King Minos II: Features Writer- Nation of the Week
Real equestria: Features Writer- Comics
Hammer Britannia: Guest Writer


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