by Max Barry

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by The ⚡🌪️ Deadly Spring Time 🌪️⚡ of Vando0sa. . 32 reads.

Global recruitment 2020

Hewwo entire world! It is I Vandoosa(It's a black hole now), Vando0sa (main Nation) Vand00sa (Nation dropping the bomb) and many other variations of Vandoosa with o's and 0's and Numbers in German.

I've shook the foundation of nations states 3 times in the past with global recruitment. First being Autumn October 2013, second Winter January 2015, third Spring April 2016. There is one season I've yet to conquer.. Summer! And at midnight in my timezone marks the beginning of Summer! This was originally meant to happen in Summer of 2017 or 2018 but goblins stole all of my money. But now it's finally time to show off my greatness and kawaiiness to the world once again! Summer will be conquered!

Behold as I detonate an even bigger Tsar Bomba than the one of 2016 named the Kawaiitomic Bomb!

This will be the largest recruitment campaign in Nationstates history! Over 220,000 Nations will feel a shock wave of cuteness!

When the Kawaiitomic Bomb detonates it will be like a few stars going super nova and might cause a black hole but with the blast it will spew out a massive shock wave that will send radioactive faeries to every nation in the world. Each faerie will deliver a copy of this recruitment telegram! Also the wind from the shock wave might level cities all over the world but it's worth it to spread cuteness to all ends of the universe!

Also the bomb might make Summer become Winter but we gunna do it anyway! That might not happen maybe.

As the first tag:all recruitment said at the end: "When in doubt, a midi!" This one being the final one to conquer all 4 seasons will be "When in doubt, minuit!"

Previous seasons conquered can be found in this dispatch!

Now on to the recruitment telegram the radio active faeries will deliver to you!


This is a another annoying recruitment telegram! But Hopefully this one is more silly instead of boring like the others!

I present to you four choices!

Option 1:
Join our weird random region! We'd like that! This is a casual hang out region where you can do anything from just sitting in isolation answering issues to peeking out on the regional message board to make new friends.

We have a mini regional government mostly an oligarchy (totally not a dictatorship) so you don't have to worry about doing too much in the region if you don't want to. Just a silly populace of anime nerds, gamers, gardeners, Touhou fans, memes and casual chattiness!

As for activities we have the following:

Sunday: We all count how many birds fly by.
Monday: We break big rocks into smaller rocks.
Tuesday: We all spin around really fast to see who falls down first.
Wednesday: We all fall asleep.
Thursday: We nibble on the wings of winged creatures.
Friday: We all cower in fear because Ozoi is watching us.. even more scary if it's the 13'th of Friday.
Saturday: We invade New Jersey at last!

This telegram makes no sense you say? That is because Iwaku is not a serious region. We are more of an asylem for silly and really cute people.
Cuteness is a major part of our culture and we all must have red circles on our cheeks. *UuguUUuu kawaii!*

Option 2:
Pick a different region. Fun thing about regions is nations can move freely through them. If you move to one and don't like it just look around. All regions have a move to button on their page so you can freely drift around till you find the right home.

Option 3:
Reply rudely. A lot of folks reply rudely to recruitment telegrams. Please don't be mean to others.. But if you really feel you must reply rudely please take a number at Iwaku Complaints Department and wait in line.

Option 4:
Ignore telegram and don't reply. If you pick this one make sure you send a telegram saying you pick option 4 so it defeats the purpose of ignoring and not replying.

Oh there is an Easter Egg typo! Try and find it! Also multiple grammar errors hidden!

Also to let you know nations can move freely to new regions and leave as they please with no effects on your nation. So if you move here and decide you miss your old region you can simply move back. All Regions have a button you can click on the region page. Please little nations stop being scared.. you are not trapped in a region once you move there.. you can leave at any time!

Oh in joining you are not joining my nation Vando0sa. You are just moving to The Glorious Nations of Iwaku A region where all types of nations can join. Anything from freedom loving democracies to psychotic dictatorships are welcome!

Click this button right here! Oh and when in doubt, minuit!