In a move widely expected but not any less painful, Election Commissioner Tsunamy certified the June 2020 Cabinet Election, bowing to Establishment pressure to deprive candidates Panda and RON from their fairly earned victories. They had the votes and the popularity, people were clamoring in the streets for their election, but those in power had a different idea and took serious steps to silence voters.

An anonymous voter -so anonymous that this newspaper cannot confirm if they were even a South Pacifican- said they intended to vote for Panda but "someone offered me a pie and SPIT if I didn't vote". Panda's campaign even reached the fjords of Balder, where a newspaper described his campaign as "perturbing, sadistic, and jingoistic". Panda, who ran on a platform of taking a strong stand against both allies and enemies, clearly was too dangerous to be allowed to win.

A similar fate befell RON, the perennial candidate who runs on a platform of giving more power to voters. It is obvious that such honesty and selflessness cannot be tolerated by the Establishment, who sought to undermine RON by any means necessary. These attempts included, most blatantly, the run of Imperial Frost Federation for Minister of Military Affairs, a clear attempt to divide the vote and ensure that RON would not stand a chance against Phoenix.

Panda has now filed an injunction before the High Court, asking that justice be served and that a new, fairer election be held, but even the Justices seem to have been compromised, calling the request a "mock submission". With crowds marching in Lampshade Street, wearing their protest lampshades and holding street parties with SPIT and pie, one can only hope that the Court will listen.

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