Tragedy struck yesterday when yet another homeless man was killed by a garbage truck's trash compactor in Lafa City. This is the fifth Lafa City incident of its kind just this week. The government is said to be going to pass legislation on the incident later today.
Election news: Dianne Dawson won the election with 272 million votes, a new record! She will take office on August 1st.
Legislation will be passed by government today over last week's tragic incident when a baptist church was blown up by 37 year old Maxwell Runes with a licensed bazooka. Rumors have been spreading about the possibility of bazookas being banned from Lansaka.
Beaches have been reopened all across Lansaka as the country continues to reopen from quarantine.
Nomor Muhan, one of the conspirators of Gregory Husef's assassination, spoke out today from death row, talking about the corruption in the government at that time. Nobody with a microphone was nearby at the time of the speech. We can only wonder whan Muhan said.
Kura Orangojuta, the killer of Husef, was killed in a freak accident yesterday when the kitchen of the Lansaka Execution Prison exploded, killing 13 other inmates and 4 guards, along with 9 kitchen staff. The incident resulted in almost 100 wanted death row criminals escaping. They are now on the loose near Lafa City. If you see any of them, avoid them and call police immediately.
Now, for a commercial break. Up soon: 14 million houses were robbed today. Will yours be next?