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by The Impeccably Arranged Snark of The West Pacific Master Dispatch. . 812 reads.

The West Pacifican - June 2020

Announcements!


Drewpocalypse Features

Regional Reactions
By Mystic Skies

After a certain YouTube video propelled NationStates to another boost in popularity, feeder regions were inundated with a sudden surge of activity. I spoke to a few of our allies to see how this has impacted their regions in the last few months.

How did you handle the surge of nations and how has it impacted your region?

Libertanny for The East Pacific:

Well, we did not handle it well NS-wise, cos NS was just dying. But in terms of our region as a whole, we had a lot of newcomers, that actually decided to stay with us. We used that as a chance, to help our community grow, by advertising RP and GP. I dont know how many people joined RMB RP (but a lot), however what I do know, is we had like 17 people join Forum RP in 3h, and most of them, decided to stay. They play on our minecraft server, they do Roleplay etc. Many people also joined government, however, mostly Magisterium (Legislature). And gonna admit, some of them made fantastic Magisters. We also have one of these people running in delegate electios now.

Xoriet for The Pacific:

The Drewpocalypse impacted us mostly with a massive influx of endorsements and a very active Regional Message Board community. There have been some very wholesome additions, and a few weird ones. The RMB was the area most impacted by the Drewpocalypse, I think.

In a good way? More active or was it difficult to handle?

Both. More active, far more difficult to moderate as well. We appointed several upstanding RMBers to monitor the times where we can't be on to follow the conduct. They are assigned to notify us when there is a problem which requires our intervention.

The Onslaught of Drewpocalypse
By Novasamita and Bobki as part of UTWP

Recently, as we all know, NS saw a massive influx of new, inexperienced players thanks to a certain YouTuber’s videos, causing the servers to crash for a few hours. Many of these new players proved friendly and helpful, others a bit of a pain in the neck, and some just 110% annoying. Badger, Bhang Bhang Duc, Dalimbar, and the other Guardians went to work to preserve our region by mass ejecting many new nations to TRR, trying to keep the roughly 8,000 nation population of TWP. At the peak of the Drewpocalypse, May 4, the region’s total population was more than 12,000, twice the size of TWP before the influx. The following days saw lots of ejections and kicks, and a noticeable fall in the population.

By May 19th, the population had dropped to 6,880 and with the drop came the mixed opinions of other regions and some very negative, immature, and simply rude comments from the ejected nations. Some said that a feeder region, like TWP, should not eject so many nations in a short amount of time, however anyone who has engaged and put some effort into becoming a part of TWP knows that it values quality over quantity.

It seems the nightmare of spammy nations is beginning to end, as many have begun to cease to exist. Some of the nations that came during the influx (notably co-author of this article, Bobki, The Citizens of Hong Kong and Dayadhvam) have contributed much to the West Pacific, writing stories for the West Pacifican, enrolling in UTWP and many other activities. A surge of activity on the RMB, as well as lots of spam, was handled well by the government officials. Some of the ejected nations whined and complained to the Guardians that banned them, while others went on rants in the regions they were ejected into. Here are some examples:

The dreaded dormammu repeatedly said that they would have revenge on TWP and had once posted some amusing threats - “We also were banished by supernatural evil from The West Pacific by foolish sorcerers who knew us not, because we had just arrived. Our vengeance upon them shall be terrible to contemplate... He only slowly removed their intestines using small fish hooks, while slowly dripping burning coals upon their immobilized heads, until the scalp burned away, and their brains boiled within their skulls. The Dreaded Dormammu will not be so kind to those who exiled him here!”.

Serene republic of iran - ”If every person raids the west pacific, THEY WILL BE PUNISHED!”, “Why would I rate the traitorous region 4 stars? they're 0 stars in the good nations rating system.”

However we have also gotten somewhat nice comments about the Purge:

Wabbitslayah has said - “In fact I like to think of it as TWP doing it's nonobligatory duty to help TRR find new citizens to integrate into the game and let the mods sort out those who refuse, with occasional collateral that still helps out TRR. I don't see TNP or TSP ever sending us anyone but the worst of the worst. So I thank ye Bran Astor, Big Bad Badger, Dalimbar, Bhang Bhang Duc, Dilber, Overthinkers, and the rest of the ROs, past and present.”

Babes without borders-”Poor little Newbie Nations! Mistreated by mean old people in The West Pacific!”

Nonetheless, the Drewpocalypse will be a part of not only TWP history, but NS history in general.

Local Citizen Still Robbed After Telling Criminal It Was Illegal

By Adamenze Regalia Simpatica Organiello Niemency of Podium

Davelands citizen Martha Greene has been left confused after being mugged in a dingy alley last Tuesday night, during which she had repeatedly informed her as-of unknown assailant that robbery and assault were clearly-defined crimes under Davelandian law. “I just remember feeling really weird as they repeatedly slugged me in the stomach, all the while I kept telling them that what they were doing was illegal,” says Greene, a prominent member of the Please Don’t Commit Crimes, It’s Not Very Nice Group, which has hosted several galas with items worth several hundred thousands (and sometimes millions) of dollars being hosted in plain sight with little or no security, which to the group’s great surprise, always inevitably goes missing after a suspiciously-timed power cut. “It’s such a shame this always happens, especially since we take care to plan directly adjacent to escape-prone prison institutions whenever we host one of our ‘bring-all-your-valuables’ meetings,” opines Barbara Scottsville, the current head of PDCCINVN for an organisational record of 3 months. “We’re trying to influence public opinion for the greater good of society, but whenever we host our monthly charity runs, several of our members tend to end up left bleeding out or concrete-shoed in the conveniently mysterious dry-dock frequented by unscrupulous types.”

June Puzzle!

Created by Hertfordshire and Jammbo as part of UTWP

A Few Nations of TWP - Probably Awful, Possibly Wrong

LinkComplete this crossword online

Across
1. Their Discord name contains an exclamation mark
3. Blames Dilber for everything
5. Caution, crabs may be in control here
6. The previous delegate of TWP is often known as Halo
12. All your chocolate belongs to them
13. Fill in the missing blank: ________'s Drag Race
14. Emperor of the Chiken
16. The backwards spelling of Wyvern
17. Resident professional Haiku writer
21. Known for their card collecting
22. As of the making of this crossword, they are currently away
24. This person hosted a regional sports tournament not long ago
26. The only S2 card they own is the card bearing their name
28. The current delegate of the West Pacific (And a brilliant one at that)
29. They have questions
Down
2. Commander of TWPAF
4. Winner of The West Pacific Rugby World Cup
7. Warning! This person is very wicked
8. The name of this nation contains a confectionery sweet item
9. Their flag looks like a Hungaro-Norwegian ripoff of the Union Jack
10. A very Red Right Hand
11. Previously held the title of 'Purgemaster General'
15. Claims to be a 'crab-free polity' (Yeah, right)
18. Another name for this person is Aelitia Astor
19. Ever heard of Skymoot? This is them now
20. Their name is an acronym for a much longer name
23. Four letter name that contains a 4
25. Claims to be the King of Thieves on the Discord
27. Three words - The Crimson Order

Send your finished answers to The West Pacific Master Dispatch to be featured in next month's paper!

Congrats to these folks who solved last month's puzzle!

Novasamita
Nrevyw

TWPride
By Fujai

Happy Pride everyone! For those of you who don't know, Pride is a celebration of the Queer (LGBTQ+) community that takes place during the month of June to honor the Link1969 Stonewall Riot, which were a formative event for LGBTQ rights in the United States. This year, with the current situation in the United States, we focus on fighting for justice with the Black community. TWP unequivocally stands with Black folks protesting and rioting against police violence and 400 years of systemic racism in the United States and across the world. #BlackLivesMatter in the past, today, and always. We encourage you to educate yourself on the issues and, if able, donate to organizations like Black Lives Matter, The Bail Project, and your local Black organizations. You can find resources, donation links, petitions, and much more Linkhere. Remember that racism does not occur just in the United States—there is always equity to fight for in our communities, regardless of where we live.

While very few in-person Pride events are happening in the real world due to the COVID-19 pandemic, we are holding our own Pride here in TWP. This includes events like the TWP Olympics and Dalimbar's Drag Race, Queer history days, and Sunday Brunch VCs on our LinkDiscord server. Check out all of our events on this month's Community Calendar!

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Western Haikuology: A Collection and Commentary

The simplicity and elegance of the haiku derive from the poem’s characteristic ability to give you all the feels. The emotions that haiku convey come from their expression of a moment—be it of joy, wonder, sorrow, bitterness. Haiku communicate moments, and as they do, they bring into the open those emotions that give such moments meaning. As poets William Higginson and Penny Harter note, “Haiku work, as we read them, by giving us a moment to look at some thing, some event, and see it more clearly than we have perhaps seen it before.”

The West has developed a legacy of writing and sharing haiku for amusement and for cultural enrichment. The works of the Western Poets range from deep gratitude for transcendental things (the good, the beautiful, the true) to the most mundane yet remarkable things of human life (the refrigerator). Some love the 17 syllable poem. Others detest them.

In preparation for a future publication of the Haiku of the West, here is a sampling and commentary on some of this region’s most snarky, perceptive, beautiful haiku. We learn from the region’s masters, mad scientists, and from those who make their own way. The selections cover three lessons: see the haiku, feel the haiku, be the haiku.

See the Haiku

To see the haiku is to see its potent capacity to express feeling. At this point though it is only about sensing what it can do: generate emotion, communicate snark.

Author: Pollandonia2
As I type these words
I think to myself how I’m
Hungry for cheese curds

Cro Magnon
Can’t write a haiku
So early in the morning
Some moar coffee please

The Anti-Social Socialists (in response to a failed Haikuesday submission)
Not quite a haiku
Nor even a limerick
Just plain spoken words

Commentary

These are but a few examples of the region’s capacity to express emotion. Pollandonia’s haiku is a perfect example of how haiku should lead the reader into a moment, indeed a very moment when the hunger is real. Likewise Cro Magnon’s verses convey a sense of dependence on the power of coffee to overcome grogginess. Finally, the last haiku by The Anti-Social Socialists is a great example of how haiku can, in such a compact space, snarkily critique another by virtue of the form it takes. There is an explicit contrast of the failed submission with the forms of haiku and limerick—in the form of haiku. Crafting haiku in such a way must give a deeply satisfying experience, probably one similar to that of Kevin Malone in The Office when he ate a pig in a blanket… in a blanket.

Feel the Haiku

Haiku are especially about feeling, about expressing and savoring the flutters of the heart, the grumbles of the gut, the savored memories of the soul. If you want to excel at haiku, focus on expressing your feelings through it so that you naturally embrace economical expression.

Yy4u
Embrace the haiku
Flowing beautifully smooth
Amidst sea of words

Elegarth
No no no no no
No no no no no no no
No Haiku no no

Overthinkers
I do not intend
To tolerate more of
Y’all’s shenanigans

Commentary

The reader is probably used to haiku that convey emotion by describing nature. Nature is a major focal point of classical haiku, but it is in fact not the only subject one may write about. Broadly speaking, haiku are about real life, about the here and now. Sometimes in real life, the only answer is no. Other haiku can offer warnings based off of implicit present emotions. No one in their right mind would want to test Overthinkers after reading a poem of such sharpness. Some embrace the haiku as YY4U do. Others embrace its ability to cut someone.

Be the Haiku

To be the haiku, the writer needs to enter into the rhythm of sounds and syllables. You have to think in fives, sevens, and fives. The haiku writer must have profound sensitivity to how to make the most of a total of seventeen syllables.

Yy4u
Haiku don’t have to
Rhyme or to even make sense
Refrigerator

Trebuchet a day
Keeps the miscreants at bay
Refrigerator

New Kigali
Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don’t make sense
Refrigerator

Arnic
Refrigerator
I like refrigerators
Refrigerator!

Hertfordshire and Jammbo
Air conditioner
And some refrigerator
Where’s the sense in that?!

Commentary

Thus far, no fewer than 12 haiku featuring the almighty refrigerator have been published on our RMB. The invocation of the refrigerator can be a helpful reminder of two things: first, part of the emotional power of haiku derives from sonic considerations: the writer needs to have a sense for how to best fill five or seven syllables not just generically, but sonically so that there is a flow to it that pleases the ear. Of course, one cannot easily transpose a poetic form that comes from Japan into an entirely different language and context. But refrigerator gets us awfully close. In any case, the literary scholar that I never was also wants to ask, “What’s in the fridge? What does it symbolize?”

Second, haiku are all about perceiving everyday happenings, things as mundane as a leaf fluttering in the wind to the steady, solid refrigerator on which everyone posts their copy of Dilber’s MS paint crab art. (And Badger’s, if you are an avid collector like I am). Speaking of...

Bonus Lesson

A bonus lesson to conclude: make haiku your own.

Dilber
This is a haiku
Not a traditional one
I just invented a new type that has no guidelines
™ 2018

What a poetic region! The West’s Haikuology features great snark, great hunger, and great attention to the fridge. Stay tuned this summer for the publication of the Western Poets’ historical haiku. They cover all the emotions: gratitude, anger, rage, frustration, sadness, wonder, peace, snark, and radical ambivalence. They address all times and seasons. And some of them are simply outlandish. You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. And you’ll surely be moved to make Haikuesday a mainstay in your day to day life.

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Lampshades and Legislators: A Foreign Affairs Feature on The South Pacific

In last month’s issue, I reported on our friends in Karma. Now I am proud to share a feature on the second region I serve as our ambassador to: The South Pacific, NationStates’ oldest democracy and a land renowned for its South Pacific Iced Tea (SPIT), lampshades, and llamas.

This report includes insights from five TSPers that I interviewed: LadyRebels, a former delegate and the originator of the lampshade tradition; United Federated States of Omega, Minister of Foreign Affairs; Phoenix (FiHami), a rising star in the South who has made an impressive impact in one year; Seraph (Erinor), a former Delegate and current spiritual guru and singer extraordinaire; and another rising star (and tasty colleague) Rabbitz, TSP’s Ambassador to our region. Here’s what they have shared about the region.

A Democracy

As a democracy, TSP is committed to egalitarianism. Omega explains, “When one joins they are no greater and no less than even the most senior of Legislators. This attitude, no doubt, stems from our exceptional democratic tradition where all have equal say in any election or piece of legislation.” Observing TSP from afar, this is quite true and impressive. TSP’s Legislators deliberate regularly on improvements and refinements, and the exchanges allow newer nations to have an equal voice alongside former Delegates, Chief Justices, or Ministers.

Like any other form of government in NS, TSP encourages initiative and creativity. I asked my interviewees to share about milestones that they are proud of. Phoenix, who recently celebrated her first year in NS, created the Assembly Mentor Program. This “is aimed to provide newer Legislators in TSP a communication route with an older, more experienced Legislator who can answer questions about TSP’s Assembly process, about our regional government, and share a bit of TSP’s history.”

Omega cited the resolution that officially made TSP a Defender rather than a raider. Interestingly, he notes that “by recognizing this as part of our culture, we have been able to have better relations with non-defenders as it is finally clear where TSP sits in GP… We remain friends with those regions who are not Defenders, as Pacific-Con shows. Evidently, we can have a great time even when we are the only Defenders in the room.”

Although TSP is serious about its form of government, it is also quite committed to cultural engagement and community building. Rabbitz explains, “Culturally we’ve always been very quirky and very active in terms of getting to know people and reaching out.” Omega notes, “When any new person joins, members young and old are quick to say hello, offer them their government-mandated lampshade and a glass of South Pacific Iced Tea and help them get involved.” LadyRebels adds, “TSP has always had more of a laid back ‘this is a family BBQ’ type of feel. Culturally speaking I have always felt that TSP is a party that never ends. Just don’t make TSP mad” (which is true of any region).

A Cultural Marvel and Cultural Fun

You might be wondering why lampshades are so important in TSP. After inquiring about this, TSP’s Chief Justice and resident historian Kringalia pointed me to an important passage in the archives of TSP and cited the key moment by date. On August 17, 2003, LadyRebels was the first recorded recipient of a lampshade. It seems that the never-ending TSP party was so much fun that LR woke up with a lampshade on her head. Who bestowed this lampshade upon her is unknown to this day. Nonetheless, a legend was born. From that time on LadyRebels organized lampshade parades, and the LadyRebels Bar and Grill morphed into the Lampshade Bar.

Besides the family BBQ grill atmosphere, it seems TSP is also culturally a fairly forgiving place. Omega recounts the following about a regional coup in 2016. “I was amazed how after the coup, in true TSP fashion, the region forgave those who couped and, with a few exceptions, immediately welcomed them back into the community.” It is a community marked by the aforementioned lampshades as well as plenty of RP activities. “Omega adds, “We seldom go a single day without a game of trivia or werewolf on our Discord server and there is just always something to do.”

Seraph has also emphasized RP in TSP: it “is really starting to take off to new heights.” But even beyond that, Seraph emphasizes that culturally there’s more than a bit that the West and the South have in common, especially love of puns. As a former delegate and a former Minister of Regional Affairs, Seraph added that it’s TSP’s friendliness that has kept him in this game for many years. Though TSP’s culture “can be a little hard to pin down,” it is clear that one can count on “a general friendliness, a willingness to be silly without being totally out there all the time, and a sense of democracy that instills a freedom for people to just be who they are, or—since this is the Internet—who they want to be.” There is plenty of reason to visit and create a custom lampshade!

Why You Should Visit and Start a Lampshade Collection

I asked my interviewees why TWPers should visit TSP. LadyRebels states, “I think that each young nation should check out all the founderless regions that are open… NS can be some serious fun or serious period. There is something out there for those that take the time to look.”

For Phoenix, TWPers should visit “for the SPIT and free llamas! In all seriousness, we’re a very fun and friendly bunch… You would also learn that there is a very big war between the cake lovers and the pie lovers. Choose your side wisely.” I’d venture to say that most TWPers would favor chocolate ganache cake—which of course belongs to Darkesia, but we all hope for a slice.

Rabbitz notes, “TWPers have a chance to see llamas, get immersed and drunk on SPIT (editor’s note: if of age), and play Werewolf (a Discord-based variant of Mafia).” Since Rabbitz is is a fellow ambassador, I also asked if they have any hopes for future TSP/TWP interactions. Answer: “Juicy noobs to nom on.” That begged the question of who was tastiest in TSP and TWP. Rabbitz replied Phoenix for TSP. And in TWP? “The Unified Missourtama States!”

Advice for New Nations

I began writing this article during the latter stages of the YouTube surge. With this in mind, it seemed fitting to ask my interviewees for advice they may have for new nations.

Omega: “Find what you are passionate about and then work hard. This is how you will best serve your community and if you wish to someday hold high office, those who seek to serve, not command, will almost always be the leaders who are remembered as legends.”

Phoenix: “What I like most about this game is how there’s a little bit of everything: you can pretty much do anything; there’s so much to offer; and things can change so rapidly.”

Seraph: “Don’t be afraid to try new things in the game [but] don’t try it all at once ‘cos that way madness lies. Always be happy to ask questions, and eventually, to answer them as well. Don’t be afraid to try being yourself. Always be kind.”

In a different vein, I asked LadyRebels what this game has meant and what draws her back to NS. She responded, “TSP draws me back. I love looking around and seeing the changes. I am so happy that TSP and NS have grown so much.” And she has built and maintained many friendships over the years.

SPIT - the Official Recipe

1/2 ounce vodka
1/2 ounce gin
1/2 ounce tequila
1/2 ounce rum
1/2 ounce blue curacao
1 ounce sprite
1 ounce sweet and sour
ice

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TWP Elections - May 2020
By Giovanniland

Hall of Nations, The West Pacific – Every three months, all members of the Hall of Nations decide which among them have the most merit to be elected as the Speaker of the Hall or a Deputy for a ministry. This article will cover results of all four votes, as well as other spotlights.

This voting season didn't have as many changes as the previous one, however one important rule was modified. Now, all Hall of Nations members had to know the candidates and vote for one of them, as the Abstain option was removed. It is also worth noting that the elections took place right after a new nation spawn, increasing the number of eligible voters.

Speaker of the Hall of Nations

Two members decided to run for Speaker of the Hall of Nations, which coordinates all discussions within the Hall. Myself, incumbent Giovanniland, having started the Regional Commendations during the previous term, faced off against Zoran, a newer member which nevertheless proved to have significant experience and ideas for the position. Both me and Zoran aimed to increase newcomers’ participation on the Hall, especially after the new nation spawn.

Nation

Number of Votes

Percentage

Giovanniland

43

75.44%

Zoran

14

24.56%

Total

57

I (Giovanniland) have the following to say: “I am proud of TWP for the high voter turnout, and really liked to organize the elections and other discussions during the last term! I hope I can serve the region well for another 3 months.”

Deputy Minister of Cultural Affairs

Deputy Minister of Cultural Affairs was arguably the closest race, with the difference between the incumbent Recuecn and Fuentana being just one vote. Reçueçn decided to run for their third term, and promised to continue with roleplay map updates as well as sport events, citing the success of the TWP Rugby World Cup. Fuentana, the region’s Poet Laureate of Haiku and Today in the West coordinator, promised to support players into searching the cultural history of the region and enhancing it.

Nation

Number of Votes

Percentage

Recuecn

29

50.88%

Fuentana

28

49.12%

Total

57

Reçueçn told The West Pacifican: “It's always an honor to be chosen to help serve TWP, whether that's by appointment or by winning an election. I'm excited to continue to be able to work for the Ministry of Cultural Affairs, which has some of the West's best people working in it. And of course, congratulations to Fuentana who ran a great campaign.”

Deputy Minister of World Assembly Recruitment

The vote for Deputy Minister of World Assembly Recruitment saw SC#302 resolution author The Unified Missourtama States (TUMS) face off TWP newcomer Saransh. TUMS ran to the position with a campaign of encouraging people to become World Assembly resolution authors, noting a shortage of these people in TWP. Meanwhile, Saransh aimed to use their experience in other regions, such as being former Delegate in Yggdrasil, to improve the WAR Ministry.

Nation

Number of Votes

Percentage

The Unified Missourtama States

26

83.93%

Saransh

15

16.07%

Total

56

The West Pacifican spoke to TUMS, who said “I’m incredibly happy to become Deputy Minister of WA Recruitment and work towards our goal of creating more authors and getting new players active, the recent influx of new players gives us a great chance to really invigorate our World Assembly interactions. I hope to see Saransh join us in our goals and help develop our WA program, I’d like to thank Fuentana for nominating me, and I look forward to (continuing to) work with all my friends in the ministry of WA Recruitment.”

Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs

The position of Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs had the most candidates this season: incumbent Gryphonian Alliance (HyFy), Mystic Skies (Mia), and Varanius. HyFy created the idea of special updates for regions that participated on interregional events with TWP, while Mia promised to create a test for diplomats to ensure quality within the Foreign Affairs department. The other candidate, Varanius, aimed to increase relations with User-Created Regions.

Nation

Number of Votes

Percentage

Mystic Skies

33

57.90%

Gryphonian Alliance

8

14.03%

Varanius

16

28.07%

Total

57

Mia told The West Pacifican that “I am honored that TWP elected me as dMoFA. The candidates were amazingly strong in their platforms. It was a great race. I am excited to serve TWP in a function that I do well and go forward to make our FA department stronger than ever. I am excited for what the future holds.”

In conclusion, this was a great election cycle, with many interesting ideas for the ministries and the Hall of Nations. It is worth noting that the voter turnout was also the highest of recent cycles, with 57 valid votes in most elections. Furthermore, there were no positions with only one candidate, which shows increased interest from members in being part of the government. The region hopes that further voting seasons have even more activity, and that more members decide to try and run for positions!

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West Osi HS Prom: Dancing in the Dark
By Mystic Skies

A night to remember couldn’t be forgotten as students swarmed West Osi High School (WOHS) for a night of dancing, shenanigans and to dance their feet away. In the auditorium, performances ranged from “Don’t Stop Believing” from Journey to a rendition “Phantom of the Opera” performed by Wym and Zoran left the audience moved to tears. There was silence as the audience could appreciate the emotion packed into each musical arranged and delivered by Wym.

The wonderful photo packages photographed by Principal Astor

My date, Dilber, and I

Prom King and Queen Sho and Teralyon

The dance floor saw many fail attempts, smooth moves and even matches that could have been a competition for TWP’s Next Best Dancer if the band room hadn’t been full of misplaying instruments. The library was set on fire with some nerds escaping the loud dance floor, and shens on the 2nd floor rest room ranged from graffiti of love packed floors to swirlies from some bullies that will remain unnamed. Thanks to the chaperones (or maybe no thanks?), the punch went unspiked but one particular delinquent was sent to the principal’s office after he toilet papered Vice Principal Berenson’s office.

Many toes were broken, tears were shed as graduating seniors said their goodbyes, rambunctious teenagers left their mark on the yearbook, couples posed for their favorite memories of lasting dances with bruised toes and graceful movements, immortalized in the below options provided to us by our Principal Bran.

The packages were quite popular and my date, Dilber and I opted for package A. I’ve always worn the pants in that relationship and it was no surprise that Dilber showed up in his best prom dress while I made a stunning appearance in my straight laced suit and tie.

No prom night is complete without superlatives, yearbook memories and a warning from your principals of course. The quad was full of late night football memories, Osi and TWP students dancing away, even singles were seen busting their best moves across the floor. Interviewing the smooching couples proved to be dangerous to this reporter so I opted instead for the safety of the bleachers under the full moon. I, of course, being the teacher’s pet I am decided to spend most of the prom in the library dutifully recording memories from the safety of papercuts and the janitor from hell, Badger, could be heard lamenting about those “bloody kids” from the flooded toilets.

The flashing cameras, music could be heard blasting everything from the crab rave to slow night dances with broken toes as people misstepped on their partner’s toes. At the end of the night, Sho from Osi and Teralyon were announced Prom Queen and Prom King and they took to the dance floor for the royal dance of the evening as festivities wound down.

The last motion of the evening was announced by the superlatives as sobs came from seniors and possibly from TUMS’ detention after he was sentenced to writing “I will not toilet paper the principal’s office” a hundred times as eager students hoping to be named or unluckily named in the titles of year of 2020.

Class of 2020 Superlatives

Most likely to be delegate (coup or otherwise)
- Osi - Ham (by accident)
- TWP - Overthinkers
Most likely to be purged
- Osi - Sygian
- TWP - Dilber
Best Smile (excessive use of emoji)
- Osi - Drake
- TWP - Elegarth
Most glittery
- Osi - Ana
- TWP - Dalimbar
Most friendly
- Osi - Skies
- TWP - Teralyon
Biggest personality
- Osi - Wym
- TWP - Imki
Biggest teacher's pet
- Osi - Ark
- TWP - Mia
Most likely to trip at graduation
- Osi - Rach
- TWP - Vara

The winners were either eagerly celebrated or had their nose in the books in my case. True to teacher’s pet, I sat down with Principal Berenson as tears filled his eyes as he wrote a departing note to students and I of course had to look for memories.

It's been my pleasure to be your Vice Principal da last two years since Ms. Pedretti left. My advice for you is like my grandad always says, you're the only one who can be you, so don't let other folks get in da way. If that don't work, try sendin' 'em down da hill in a broken toboggan an' say they slipped.

-Vice Principal Berenson

As everything with prom I of course have claim to everything that went well when I barged into Vice Principal Berenson’s office.

Mia Duke, 9th grade freshman, knocks at door before barging in.

Mia Duke: Sir Vice Principal Berenson, can I interview you about the prom?

She stuffs the microphone in his face like overeager little kid

Vice Principal Berenson: Ah! Mia ya startled me dere! Sure I can answer you some questions

Mia Duke: So how was planning for prom? How did you decide on the theme this year?

Vice Principal Berenson: Well, planning went pretty well! Our chaperone Ms. Goode made most of our flyers an' things for this year, and she did a right good job I thinks. For da theme, we wanted to go with something classic, to remind us old fogies of the good ol' days, but keep the youngins entertained. Mrs. Asteorra I thinks had da idea for Dancing in the Dark.

Mia Duke: Vice Principal Berenson, how did you plan? Did you contribute any "back in my day" stories? CAn you tell us about prom when you were a youngin?

Vice Principal Berenson: I was pretty busy doin' grading for da antropology class I'm teaching this quarter, so I wasn't involved as much as I have been in the past. We mostly took the good ideas we had from last year's prom and put a dancin' in da dark spin on em'. We got tings like da prom pictures, da yearbook messages, da Yentas pairing off da singles, and of course da dancing.

Now I won't tell ya how long ago my prom was, but back in middle a' nowhere Wisconsin, we didn't have all these newfangle picture booths or balloons or second floors, it was just the forty of us in my class in da gym while they played songs off some ratty speakers with a couple punch bowls in da corner. We had a good time, but I'm glad you kids are able to have an even better one.

Mia Duke: What was your favorite memory of this prom? Did anyone get in trouble? She leans in with a wiggle of her eyebrow Or are you not allowed to tell me who the troublemakers were?

Vice Principal Berenson: Oh I think I can answer both a' dose questions in one, and it'd be when a certain student named TUMS decided it was a good idea to TP the principal's office. Now I shouldn't hafta tell you that's probably a bad idea, but here we are anyway. He got detention, of course, but at least he had a good time doin' it, and dat's what matters.

Mia Duke: Is that the most memorable act you've had at prom or have you seen more delinquency in previous prom?

Vice Principal Berenson: I don't think anyone was quite up front with their troublemaking last prom, but there was certainly a fair share

Of course Vice Principal Berenson had to return to boogieing and I managed to snap a photo of the delinquent TUMS and his date, Badger before they scurried away to cause more trouble.

It was truly a night to remember, and a prom to be outmatched!

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Behind the Scenes at Pacific-Con
By Recuecn

It's a rare event for multiple feeders to cooperate, so when all five of them came together to hold Pacific-Con at the beginning of last month, it was an event not to be missed. Players from across NS were, and there were all kinds of different events and presentations. The conference, which took months of coordination and almost didn't happen at all, was a broad success and very enjoyable for its attendees. As it drew to a close, there were already rumors of holding a second edition next year.

I, Recuecn, had the privilege to be not just a participant at Pacific-Con, but also be host for one of the panels and one of the organizers for one of the events. In this article, I'll talk a bit about what that was like and how it was working behind the scenes, organizing preparations and set up. Both the event and the panel I helped with were related to sports roleplay: the event was the Pan-Pacific Cup, and the panel was designed as an introduction to sports roleplay as well, particularly in case anyone who had tried sports roleplay for the first time in the Pan-Pacific Cup had enjoyed it and wanted to know more about it.

One of the defining features of a roleplay tournament such as the Pan-Pacific Cup, or really any roleplay, is that rather than being a one-off event, it takes course over some time. It will also involves a specific outlined schedule for the different matches in the tournament. Since, of course, it wasn't the only event at Pacific-Con, we had to figure what events to plan around and how to fit it in with the schedule of the conference as a whole. My co-host and co-organizer for the tournament was Highton, a sports roleplayer from The North Pacific, and fortunately the conference was long enough that it was easy for us to fit in an entire tournament without worrying about scheduling it too tightly. And since participants could post roleplays at any time, we didn't have to worry about conflicting with other events such as the presentations happening at specific hours.

The trickiest thing about organizing the Pan-Pacific Cup was figuring out exactly what we wanted to accomplish with the event. One idea was to use the event as a showcase so that more experienced roleplayers from the different Pacifics could participate and sort of show how sports roleplay worked to others who might be interested in learning more about it. In the end, we decided to open up the tournament to anyone from the Pacifics so that even first-timers could sign up and try it out for themselves. Had the goals of the tournament been different, the way the tournament was designed would have been different too. Even aspects of the Pan-Pacific Cup as basic as the schedule and format had to be tailored to what we were trying to accomplish, given the context of Pacific-Con.

Once the format and schedule for the Pan-Pacific Cup had been decided, running the tournament itself was pretty easy. Highton and myself both had plenty of prior experience hosting sports roleplays to be able to host an event like this one, so it wasn't difficult to read the roleplays and produce the scores each day. It wouldn't be quite accurate to say it all went off without a hitch—there were technical issues at one point and a couple small blunders, but nothing that couldn't be easily fixed and smoothed over, particularly thanks to the fact that Highton and I were able to cooperate as co-hosts to cover for each other. The most important part of hosting an event like that—and this applies to organizing many events—is communication. As long as organizers can be clear with each other and with participants about what's going on, everything should be fine.

To help give a bit of an inside look at hosting and sports roleplay for those who wanted to know a bit more, Highton and I, along with Kelssek, another very experienced sports roleplayer from The East Pacific, hosted a panel one of the last days of the conference. Whereas many of the other presentations had been just that—presentations, a speech prepared ahead of time and given by one person—our event was designed as a panel so that a few of us could host it together and respond to questions from the audience.

Here's your behind-the-scenes secret for the article: the reason I suggested holding the event in a panel-format was inspired by laziness. Presenting alongside other people and responding to other people's questions meant a lot less preparation: there no need to determine what aspects to cover myself or draw up some kind of outline. However, although the idea may have been inspired by my own laziness, it justified itself, for in my opinion the panel went really well and the slightly different way of doing it added a lot. We took questions ahead of time through a google form so that Kelssek, Highton, and I could have an idea what we'd be addressing, be able to plan for the length of the panel, and see if we'd need to provide more content if we didn't receive enough questions. I was worried it would be difficult to find a time that would work for the three of us, all in different time zones, but in the end it didn't turn out to be a problem. So the organization was pretty easy here too.

In the end the panel went very smoothly, other than a few small microphone problems at one point. We began by introducing ourselves and then went through the questions one by one, each of us responding to each one and sharing our own opinions. Highton and Kelssek were great to have on the panel with me, since besides just being great people in general, all three of us come from very different regions and have very different experiences with sports roleplay, and thus were able to talk about different aspects of the different questions (although we often had similar viewpoints). We ended with a couple points of our own and taking questions from the live audience.

All in all, my part in helping to organize a couple event for Pacific-Con wasn't too stressful and went pretty well. The events I helped with weren't difficult to organize (although the tournament would have been difficult to do for someone without prior sports roleplay hosting experience, I'd guess). The most complicated part of organizing Pacific-Con was trying to get all five regions on board and find a time that would work for everybody, all while letting each region have a say—events that big sometimes need just one person or a small group of people in charge, and with so many large regions that all needed to cooperate, there were a lot of chefs in the kitchen at times. But once the dates had been nailed down, it provided a framework for the all the events of the conference to be fitted into, and Pacific-Con took its shape as a beautiful mosaic showcasing all of the feeders.

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Comic Alley

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The Writers' Corner
Hosted by Fuentana and friends

The Writers' Corner showcases the creative writing of our region and to helps build our culture of participation and creativity. We will happily consider any form of creative writing: short essays, short stories, poems, RP-based writing.

If you’d like to submit to a future edition, please check out our Linksubmissions thread.

Poetry makes visible the invisible feelings, the longings of the heart, the yearning for what is true and just and beautiful. In this edition of The Writers' Corner we are proud to feature this powerful piece by Zoran.

Grievances of the Unheard by Zoran

Once upon a time there was a dream to make a land for the free,
A dream and that is all it was as people of color were bound
In the chains forced upon them by their fellow men; as their lives
and cries were lost as the bells of freedom rang and drowned their loud sounds;
While their fellow men would whip and beat these poor black men to the hard ground,
And yet for those that ran/to be free, they would be fed to the hounds,

But the Fathers that found this ravaged land had the chance to end it all
And yet they kept the system out of fear; to unite the states and doomed
Their posterity to centuries of hate and pain and spilt blood,
And now I watch the news of the people who are consumed by the gloom,
Unable to do my part at seventeen as men are inhumed
As they seek to be heard after being ignored as anger ballooned,

While those before who rebelled in Shay’s and Whiskey were pardoned
Along with those who left to keep the blood rusted chains in the fields
By Washington and Lincoln, who many admire and praise as heroes,
And yet the men and women who peacefully protest for ideals
Of justice after being ignored for far too long yell out pleads;
Only to be met with force and are sent to jail by some fiends,

After years of fighting for rights of colored people years ago
Were all those sacrifices of those who died for change made in vain?
Liberty may stand on broken chains but she cries in chains herself
As she watches as her people are shot and gassed, writhing in pain,
Meanwhile the orange man hides away tweeting away; guilty as Cain
As he guns down his own citizens, showing how he is insane,

But here I sit holding back tears writing these words to express how trapped
I feel; unable to do my part at seventeen when men before
Conquered nations at my age, and yet I am unable to help
Those who are on the ground taking a stand for true justice and more,
All I can do is sit and watch the world burn as more blood is poured,
Is this the land of the free or of the damned, I ask as I offer another prayer,

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WAR Ministry Update
By Nieubasria

Per our latest internal tool updates, as of writing the region continues to retain approximately 1200 WA nations with approximately 898 endorsements on the Delegate. With the current level of endorsements, the endorsement cap remains at 250.

As reported in the April edition, the expected mass-CTE has occurred. Though we expect a couple smaller waves as the stragglers reach the limit of their grace period, the Ministry foresees a new stabilization point at or near 850-900 endorsements. Our statistical focus will now switch from WA retention to yield rate of endorsements on the Delegate.

I would also like to take the opportunity to welcome The Unified Missourtama States as Deputy Minister. As we look forward with fresh eyes to June and July, the Ministry will be redeveloping the WASP (World ASsembly Program) and continuing to explore community developed General Assembly repeals.

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The West Pacifican Staff - Editor-in-Chief: Fujai, Assistant Editors: Recuecn, Mystic Skies, Staff: Darkesia, Dayadhvam, Dilber, Fuentana, Giovanniland, Nieubasria, Podium, Sensorland, Teralyon, and LinkYOU

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