by Max Barry

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by The Endorsed Libertanny Last of Dreamersistan. . 68 reads.

The Liberation of TEPilee

Harken around, children,
And let me tell you the story
Of how Marrabukses rode up the Holy Mountain,
And liberated the lands of TEPilee,

It was a time of great famine and regret
Under the tyrranical rule of the evil Pharoah Fedele
The Rahls had quietly found Todd McCloud's cheat code
When people knew not to be vigilant,

And they ruled over TEPilee with a Rahlian fist,

To crush all challengers to their throne
The usurper decided to crush all resistance
He let marsupial hunters ran amok
Bringing misery to the lands,

They bamboozled Pakitsk and many into their Hunter cult
Labelling men as marsupials without reason
Making women uncomfortable with the stink eye
And forcing innocent children to listen to Gwen Stefani,

The people of TEP-lee suffered and whined,
And there was much gnashing of teeth and keyboards
Many tried to stand up against their tyranny,
Against the Rahls and evil and their propaganda minister Davelands-Himmler,

And here are some of their stories,

Brave Libertanny tried to ride with the army of the Exiled,
But they found him and marketh him with a blood-red Tidepod,

Clever Asendavia of the Temple of Ademar,
Who kept the holy scriptures of the Conclave free of their sin,

And Lord Danelaw Scandinavia himself,
Who plotted in the shadows with Aivintis

TEPilee owes them all a debt of gratitude that will never be repaid

The world seemed dark and moody,
Like an emo kid's room after his virtual girlfriend broke up with him
The lands were losing citizens and had become 5th in NationStatesia
Those who could jumped ship, and those who couldn't cried sorrows of lament,

And Marrabukses heard their cries of plight,
He decided to step out of the comfort of the EU-lands
And make the dangerous pilgrimage up Mount Wiranath,

Many a times did the horse stumble,
And almost fall into the volcanic pits of Kilkire
But he trotted on till he reached the top
And after scoring a Facebook check-in and taking a duckface selfie
He raised his hands unto the Lord of the Blessed Corn,

And the Lord said,
'Marrabukses, take off your horse shoes,
For you are standing on holy ground,
And i just had the wood veneer polished',

And the Lord saw into Marrabukses' eyes
A great power and determination
As well as possibly conjunctival injunction
And he saw it was good,

And thus he sayeth to Marrabukses,'
Take thee this Holy Troll,
That Ye might lead your people
Out of the shadow of evil Fedele,

And Marrabukses took of the Holy Troll,
And said 'Bless you o Popcorn Lord'
And then he yeeted outta there
Before the Lord's ads tried to click bait him,

And Marrabukses descended from the mountain
And planteth the Troll into the ground
And lo, a Cthulhu emerged and said
'Don't worry, Marrabukses, I got a pro-gamer move in mind',

And then began the Great battle
For the soul of TEP-lee's peoples,

And at the crucial moment
When Fedele ejected the Prophet Todd
And sent Marrabukses to be turned into glue
In the fortress of rejected exiles
Marrabukses said 'Tentacles!',

And Cthulhu emergeth from the shadows
And with the power of RO
He banished Fedele from the land
And thus was evil brought low,

And the people of TEP-lee welcomed Marrabukses
With many a popcorn feast and sweet lumps of sugar
Fedele and the Rahls hid in the shadows
And all worshipped the Lord of the Blessed Corn,

Since that day hath the Marrabukses
Kept the lands of TEP-safe and full of trolling,

Let us give thanks and burn the holy sacrificial Great Algerstonia
And eat of the good Zukchivan goose,

That Marrabukses may reign well
And not get his ponytail stuck in that door handle again
And that the Rahls stay away
Although they probably won't cuz I need a reason for a sequel post