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by The United Socialist Republics of Azerubia. . 175 reads.

The Force Flyer Issue XXXIII

Issue XXXIII
Headlines

April the month of elections, of weird little cults accompanied by the First Discord Emoji Contest, some big changes in the roleplay and Force politics - a resume of this month in news plus a new independent writing section, this is the April edition of the Force Flyer!

RENEGALLE COMMITS MURDER AND IS BANNED AS FOUNDER by Azerubia



Ok now that I've got your attention, I would like to inform you that the Force Flyer is currently making a research on it's readers and we would be really grateful if you would take our poll just right Linkhere. Obviously we would like you to read the Force Flyer before completing it.



SALIBAIC GETS HIS SECOND MANDATE WHILE THE CAMINOES IS APPOINTED JUSTICE by Azerubia



After only one month under the emergency Lashnakia administration, citizens of Force were back to the polls for the April’s Prime Ministerial and House Elections, plus the Emergency Court Justice Election held to fill the vacant third office of Justice created following the passage of Amendment 12.

From the 1st of April to the 4th, while some citizens were announcing their candidacies for one of the elections, the Force Flyer’s team reported something odd. Interest in running for a seat in the Force’s House had hit rock bottom. Compared to the 7 House members of the last House’s composition, only 4 people had submitted their candidacies. At least to compensate for this loss, new contenders for the Heart seats had applied after 1 year without even one. For the Force seats, Libertatis Regalis and Lotria were running for their re-election while, Former Prime Minister, Lashnakia and, Emergency House Election candidate, Western chosetus also ran by their side. Greatest Elysium also came back for re-election under his Heart’s nation, Empire of Elysium. A place where furries are, also known in Force as Alemputo, was the other candidate to race for the Heart seats.

Meanwhile, what every citizen wanted to know was to know who would enter the race for the office of Prime Minister. Both Salibaic and New Legland had already announced their candidacies earlier this week and according to our sources, Lashnakia had previously shown signs of wanting to go for his third mandate but nothing came out of it.

What made these month’s elections special was probably the addition of the Emergency Court Justice elections aimed at filling the remaining Justice position. Tigslarlowducken then later The Caminoes both announced their intention to run for the last vacant position of Justice.

Even though he was always considered to be the joke candidate of the PM’s elections, New Legland continued to impress with a big and complete speech during the Debate period. Obviously, Salibaic also delivered an impressing speech answering every question delivered to him. At the end of the 3 days period, every candidate had delivered their speech perfectly and the phase had ended with no difficulties from any candidate.

It was now time for the results. Like what the Force Flyer predicted, Salibaic easily defeated New Legland 14 votes to 6. The First Minister of Heart had already overcome the WA Delegate in the two Prime Minister Preference Polls so this result didn’t really surprise anyone. New Legland held less impressive results than during last month’s PM election but still managed to hold a good run against favourite Salibaic. With no competition, every House candidates whether from Force or Heart managed to win their seats. Lashnakia, Empire of Elysium and A Place Where Furries Are managed to get a 100% approval rate from the voters of their respective regions. Finally, The Caminoes defeated Tigslarlowducken 9 votes to 5 and joined Marcelli and Farallaracks as a Justice. During this election, more people abstained than voted for Tiglsarlowducken with 7 abstentions and 5 votes for Tigslarlowducken.





A PLACE WHERE FURRIES ARE TO REPLACE THE SCOTTISH REPUBLIC AS FIRST MINISTER OF HEART by Azerubia



5 days following the election of Salibaic/The Scottish Republic as Prime Minister of Force, the newly elected Prime Minister decided to resign from his position as First Minister of Heart to be able to fully concentrate on managing the capital region.

An election was then called to decide who would be the one to succeed him. The candidates to the office of First Minister of Heart were Empire of Elysium, A place where furries are and New bolivaristan.

Similarly to the Force elections, the candidates then had to answer some questions before being able to pass to the election part. The debates were held on the Heart Regional Message Board and all candidates managed to answer within the given time.

On the 22nd, voting started in the second biggest region of the Union and it took a long 6 days to complete the process. Following the wait, results came in and A Place Where Furries managed to rally 6 voters, while Empire of Elysium rallied the other 4 votes and New Bolivaristan didn’t even get a single one.

Newly elected First Minister of Heart A Place Where Furries Are has announced he will make a statement later but it has yet to be released.




RP UPDATE by Alemputo




Some hard maintenance on some economic data and the map has caused RP to halt for a short while this month, however coming May most of these changes will roll out and RP will resume.

The map will look much smoother and nicer when done and have two new data maps, a terrain map, which will show elevations of each nation and region, as well as a biome map which will show vegetation and diversity statistics.

I also plan to put out a new map that shows how fertile the land is. This on top of an update to the resource maps, which makes sixes and locations of resources more realistic. No worries to nations, the resources within borders, for the most part, will remain the same.

An economic update will also take form before May 7th, where economic data is shown on a discord page, much as it was before the crash of RP. This will be updated periodically. Nations may also get a debuff to their national GDP growth to make data more realistic.

Finally, the military will get an update, where a list of nations and their buffs and debugged to their militaries will be shown on a discord channel.

Nations will be getting to events soon, however, they should be patient for the next couple of weeks for these updates and their resulting growing pains.




BIG CHANGES IN THE POLITICAL WORLD OF FORCE by Azerubia



On April 21, 2020, the New Force Party officially split up in two. One side followed NFP's chairman Salibaic to form a party known as the Democratic People’s Party (DPP), whilst another is followed Lashnakia to make the Force Unity Party (FUP). Soon after the split, both the Empire of Elysium and Azerubia joined Salibaic’s new party and helped him write his manifesto and policies. On the other hand, Caduceo and Loomburg joined the FUP. Both of the parties have grown to reasonable numbers over the past few days, with House Speaker Sir Libertatis Regalis taking his pick and joining the FUP. As for policies FUP wants to eventually reduce Founder power, give more autonomy to regions, want to focus on-site, and believe that the House should become more powerful. On the other hand, the DPP, or Snowy Owls, supports freedom of information act to provide transparency, wants to increase political participation, wants to balance offsite and onsite activity, wants to aim towards development of regional governments, wants to make a Minister of Territories and wants to revive the Force army. For more information on DPP policies, see their manifesto or Linkforum post, and for FUP policies see their Linkown forum post. Now for other major news on parties, we turn to House Bill 33. Proposed by House Representative Lashnakia [Force], the bill sets guidelines for parties and outlines their creation. House Representative A place where furries are [Heart] was an early critic of the first version of the bill claiming that by not allowing joke parties it infringed on free expression, as well as many other complaints. Due to this Lashnakia edited the bill to meet A Place Where Furries Are demands. On April 28 the bill was edited for the final time and should soon head to vote. As for the provisions of the bill, it defines parties as well as sets criteria for them, which includes the need for a manifesto, basic party government, and must define its own requirements. Should a party fail to meet these it shall be nullified, John C. Calhoun style. As for the other articles, they outline more specific clauses such as how this will affect ballots and such.



ARCEM IS OVERTHROWN by Renegalle



In the wee hours of the morning on the 30th of April, a raid by The Black Hawks resulted in the fall of the Union Province of Arcem to them. According to Vamperiall, a participant in the raid, the targeting of Arcem was not intentional and only occurred due to the region’s World Assembly Delegate position having executive powers and the region thus being open to invasion. Within minutes of receiving word of the raid, the region was quickly reverted to its original status and the WAD position was made non-executive, protecting it from future tag raids. A short while later, Zamperiall was banned from Force for overthrowing a Union region. He then requested that the founder account of Hyperion, a region which he originally had given the Union control of and was at the time governor of (with the nation Epimetheus), be given back to him. This request was then presented to the Prime Minister, who later that day, not only denied his request but removed him as governor of Hyperion. The PM also started a case against him which is currently pending in Court. Whether or not the court case will go to trial remains to be seen, as what Vamperiall did by overthrowing the region may not necessarily be considered treason under the Constitution’s definition of it. If that is the case, it is likely that he will simply be banned by Executive Action. An interesting thing from history to note is that Vamperiall was previously the interim Prime Minister and before that, Minister of Defense for Force, so to see him disgraced in such a way came as a surprise to many.



BATTLE FOR THE NEXT DISCORD EMOJI by Pridnestrovskaia Moldavskaia


Link


Emoji Contestants

Hugh

Legcat

Gavin

Dr. Owl

"Hugh is the emoji version of “Hugh White”, who is used as an unofficial cultural item in force. He started out being Renegalles pfp for a long time and due to this became prevalent in memes and force culture. He is now seen through references in symbols, RP, and much more. Thus we shall honor him an emoji!"
Empire of Elysium

"It is epic"
Lashnakia

Gavin is a very versatile image from my spirit animal, Gavin. He actually makes the best faces and the one I submitted is clearly having a superior expression to hugh and makes it more epic.
Caduceo

"It represents the hoot-worshippers, an iconic religion of Force."
Salibaic

Pestilence

To

Glaring Ringo

Egg (Disqualified)

"I'm a straight white male- why can't I wear dresses again?"
Loomburg

"It was funny and it was funny."
New Legland

”It should be the Force emoji becuase its eyes was like ‘what did you say’ and he is my favourite drummer.”
Heonix

"It is part of our motto of Force, Freedom, Justice, Reasonably Priced Love and a Hard-Boiled Egg."
Tigslarlowducken


The date was 16/04/2020 when the Ministry of Culture announced on Discord that the first emoji contest was coming to Force! During the next three days, seven total images were compiled to be entered into the contest; including ones such as Hugh, Gavin, and Dr. Owl. With the eight emoji, egg being disqualified for sadly not being submitted in time, giving Hugh a free pass to the semi-finals against the winner of the Glaring Ringo and to. However, on the right, Dr. Owl beat Legcat with addition to Gavin beating out Pestilence, both due to the flip of the coin. Semi-finals were a bit more exciting however with Hugh taking Glaring Ringo out of the race and, by a narrow win, Gavin overtaking Dr. Owl due to some wanting to avenge Legcat's legacy. And on the twenty-second, Hugh won the emoji contest beating out Gavin to become the next Force Discord Emoji with a vote of six to four.



CRABBIEST DAY IN HISTORY by Azerubia



Crab. Probably one of the funniest days to happen in Force, the 2020 April’s Fools day was more than unusual. In this article, we will be going back on what made this day memorable.

A little bit after midnight, Founder Renegalle made an announcement stating the creation of the Union Church. This new organization would be lead by Pontifex Maximus New Legland and it would make him one of the most powerful people in Force. This title gave by Renegalle for the occasion allowed him full control over the discord which we will come back on it later in the article. This was one of the two things that helped create the total mess that was this day. The other was the rise of the popularity of crabs. Yes, you’ve heard it, crabs. It started the day before with the arrival of Stormgap to the Force discord. Everything seemed fine, with Caduceo, Azerubia and later Loomburg introducing the newcomer to Force and asking some normal questions to her and eventually, a normal discussion had started. Eventually, they started talking about dystopia and it was then that Stormgap mentioned a certain video game that she had been playing. The name was Kenshi. And in that game there were crabs. To the simple mention of crabs, everyone started acting crazy and the crab cult was born. From now on, every time someone mentioned a crab, everyone would go insane and pictures of crabs would appear all over the discord.

With that context in mind, you can understand what went wrong. Following the announcement Renegalle also changed his discord name to Crab which helped spread the crab cult. Azerubia and Caduceo had already crab-related name and the Minister of Communications suggested that everyone change their name and profile picture to something correlated to crabs. Rapidly, the discord was flooded with crabs with the same profile picture. For some reason, one by one, everyone had decided to choose Azerubia’s profile picture and as fast as the discord was taken over, the image was considered sacred. The discord icon for the server and the famous flushed channel where citizens shared flushed emojis had now become the crab channel. Everything was crab in Force.

Obviously, many people resented the crab coup. The two main factions against the crabs were the lobsters and the furrets. They couldn’t handle the truth and after being tortured they were burned at the stake on the grand plaza.

With the two events happening at the same time, the Pontifex Maximus was appointed leader of the crabs and was considered above all crabs. But then something happened, the Secretary-General election of NationStates was currently happening but not every crab was on the same side. Most of the crabs supported fellow crab Lashnakia while Pontifex Maximus New Legland supported The Bigtopia. Everything went downhill from there. Some crabs supported the Pontifex Maximus’s decision while others didn’t. A vote of no confidence was then held by Azerubia to know if the crabs were trusting the Pontifex Maximus. The results came back negative with the no winning by 2 votes. Azerubia then announced that the crabs had decided that the Pontifex Maximus was a false prophet but he was silenced by New Legland. The Pontifex Maximus then started muting and silencing every crab that tried to rebel against him. To counter that, the crabs even made their own server to plan an assassination of the Pontifex Maximus.

Lashnakia had always been considered the leader of the Crab Revolution but everything changed when he was made Deputy Pontifex Maximus. The crabs were shocked, Lashnakia explained that it was a move to try and invade by the Church from the inside but this move later was one of the causes of the reconciliation of the crabs with the Pontifex Maximus.

On the 2nd of April, the Church was dissolved by Renegalle and the Pontifex Maximus was no more. And the crabs you ask? What happened to them? They disappeared without a word but there’s a rumour that they left for good in the search for a land to create a nation where every crab is equal.




WHAT IS THE HOOT WORSHIP? by Salibaic



This month the Union went hooting crazily for owls following the emoji contest. Several people including Renegalle all changed their profile picture in defiance of Dr. Owl losing. The leader of the movement Salibaic leads the cause as to spread the Hoot Worship of which was seen as the main spiritual capital of the movement back the Dr. Owl. The Dr. Owl movement also sparked a clear debate between it and legcat but Dr. Owl won in the end as it was an epic hoot as claimed by Salibaic. The movement also grew to create a website that caught the attention of many as well as the NWE as it was shared by Salibaic to them.

The movement also grew hoot worship with it going up to over ten members with people across NationStates. This effort was rewarded by Salibaic being named the Secondary Hoot by Renehoot who is seen as the prophet of hoot worship.

This is the most epic hootness article of all time and you can share the epic hootness by going to the epic hoot website and even joining out epic hooty discord.

LinkHoot Worship Site





Frost and Flame Updated by Loomburg



This is an updated version of Frost and Flame, the first short story to be released in the Force Flyer. It contains a modified part 1 and 2 of the story. There are several new additions to the first part of the story so even if you already read it, please be sure to read this new version. - Azerubia

I wish I could go back to the meadow. I barely can remember it, but it’s the only green I can remember. When my father was always at home, before the snow came, I would always ask him to bring me out there. That’s what I could recall clearly. Begging to go, not actually being there. I miss it. My mother I also never see, but I only met her once the cold set in. She was always working at the soup kitchen, making sure everyone always had something to warm up their innards as they toiled away in the unrelenting frost. I’ve been working for four years now. I started when I was fourteen. I was the lucky one, they say. The age in which children are meant to start supporting the colony was ten, but I happened to be the mayor’s son and got out of four years where I was supposed to be getting frostbitten. Lucky me.

No. That wasn’t true. Just because I wasn’t freezing to death doesn’t mean I was lucky. My father hasn’t spoken to me since last November. It is now December of who knows what year. I never could remember. My mother did. She kept a calendar. I am not allowed to see it, though, as it holds ‘sensitive information’. That’s fine. I don’t really care when I am, just that I am. That’s about the best I could hope for in this everlasting winter that has plagued my entire life. It started before I was born, but the plants survived until I was about five or six. I always loved looking at it though, the snow. It fascinated me because it isn’t anything like what they show in the movies or describe it in the books that my friend, Day, loans me.
Technically it’s not snow. Well, it is, but it’s more than just that. The black smears that cover everything and make it impossible to stay clean are a constant reminder of that. It was this snow that tipped me off something was wrong today. I found myself staring confused at the snow as it turned a darker shade of grey that wasn’t quite black. I had thrown my door open, without wearing any shoes, and ran out of my house to see what was causing this. Being on the larger side of town, I hadn’t felt the ground shake like those in the poorer sections of our colony did. No, my neighbors and I only saw the plumes of smoke rising from the other side of the colony, dumping ash back down upon us before most of us could even get to work. Some of us were still in what they slept in. I, however, was dressed in thick jeans with wool sewn into them and a large jacket that had leather strapped around the arms for some protection.
Everyone around me was staring at the smoke devastated and perplexed, not quite connecting the dots. But I did. I saw where that smoke was coming from. I could see the map of the colony that my dad had always left on the kitchen table whenever he was too busy to try and figure out where he could instal more generators or mine shafts. The many icy streets started to piece together in mind, hoping it wasn’t what I thought, only to confirm the dreadful idea that had slipped into my mind. The smoke was coming from the colony’s market square. Not just one building but the entire square.

And in that square was the soup kitchen.

I found myself running, pushing my way through the ashy snow until I finally collapsed halfway down my street. Though I knew I was crying, I couldn’t feel the drops run down my cheeks until they froze at the bottom of my chin. When my neighbor's arms wrapped around me and began carrying me back to my house, I struggled with every ounce of strength I could possibly muster but it was futile. I couldn’t break out of their grasp, their worn hands clinging to my pale arms and preventing me from getting any leverage.

“Calm down, Cole,” He whispered into my ear. Freidrik. He had been my neighbor for only a year or two now, which was unusual as most of our people stay in the same house their entire lives. When I realized it was him I stopped and buried my face in his shirt, trying to block out the gasps from onlookers and muttering. His warmth bled through his shirt and yet I shivered. “C’mon kid.” He began moving toward my house.

I ground my feet into the snow, “No! No, I have to see if… if she’s okay!”

“You’ll freeze out here,” Freidrik put a firm hand on my shoulder, “You don’t need to make a bad situation worse, okay?”

“But- But what about father? He should be home soon. He has to be home soon.”

“We will be waiting for him in the warmth of your living room.” Freidrik's tone was stern but forgiving, “Now, Cole.” I allowed him to pick me up and carry me to my couch.
My eyes closed, I allowed the heat to wash over me and the oaky smell to fill my nostrils. The floorboards creaked and I heard the sparks sail up into the air and the crackling of a new log. The air grew colder for a brief moment before vanishing once more. I was alone again. A feeling of loss grew in my stomach, slowly building around the soup I ate this morning and turning it into ice that spread throughout my body. I rolled over onto my side and curled into a ball, trying to ignore the lack of air in my lungs as I resisted sobbing. It must have been twenty minutes that I held that position before the couch sank next to my head and my father’s arm was draped over me.

As he brushed my hair out of my face I asked, “She’s gone isn’t she?” All he did was smile weakly and rub his thumb against my cheekbone. I couldn’t help myself anymore. Everything I had been holding back poured out at that moment. As I clung to my father and pressed my head into his lap, I could only see her face as she tucked me into bed as a child or humming as she made my family’s meals for the day. The melody reached my ears and my grip on my father’s arm was enough to leave deep red marks. He was humming her song. Once I opened my eyes, the daylight was gone and my father had fallen asleep with half of his body hanging off of the couch and the rest of him was dedicated to supporting me.

I stood up, not sure if I should wake him or not. I decided against it and instead leaned down and took his shoes off, picked up his legs, and made sure he was in a more comfortable position than he had been prior. Moments later I had found a blanket curled up in the closet. Bringing it back to my father, I paused for a moment to look at his face. It was normally gruff and rigid but now it was just weary. The lines of age were deeper and more defined than they had been yesterday and the white in his stubble had spread enough to make his chin stick out. As I lay the blanket over him, his eyelids cracked open and another smile, one that didn’t reach his eyes, formed.

“How are you holding up?” The question was awkward coming out as if every word had to be thoughtfully selected.

“About as well as you, I’d guess,” I didn’t know where the uncaring tone came from, but I knew I meant it, “I feel tired and sick. You might be able to blame it on your age though.”
“Is that so?” His voice was quieter now and he didn’t meet my eyes.

“It’s quite an act you are throwing together here. It’s not like you actually cared about her, Harley,” I thought back on all the times he had gone straight upstairs without even a nod in my mother’s direction, “Besides, dad, you weren’t a part of this family since the snow came. Since you got this job. It’s only been work and sleep. You never stop to pay attention to us. Mom and I.” I paused. “You never will.”

Harley just nodded, running his hand through his hair. “Alright. If that’s how you feel.” He rose from his couch and tossed the blanket to the side, “I’ll be in my room if you need me.” I stared after him as he trudged upstairs and held my gaze long after the click of his door.

I then ran out of the house, throwing the door open so hard that the wall cracked slightly. Standing in the snow, I just began screaming until my lungs decided to give out. I fell to the ground only to shoot back up and storm towards my house. I grabbed onto one of the metal beams that kept our structures standing and began to tug. Despite my home shifting with each of my furious actions, I didn’t let up until it broke loose. I screamed hoarsely once more before throwing the pole at my dad’s window.

Shattered glass rained down on me and left cuts in my face as I looked up with fear, my senses now kicking in as I realized what I had just done. My whole body froze as I waited for the screaming and cursing to start. Instead, Harley came to the broken window, looked down at me with a disappointed gaze, and placed a piece of cardboard on the hole in his room. I released my breath, knowing he wouldn’t just drop this infraction. Right?




Smart Home by Alemputo



The drawer was opened to be rummaged through, to struggle to find the right diginote, many old ones seemed to haunt him with tasks that were still yet to be finished. “Tell the home to order Grape Jelly,” one flashed as his hand-tossed over it.

“Aha,” Derrick said. “The house manual. Please read aloud.”

The note turned blue and began to recite itself. “The ReadyNeed company prides itself on its reliability. In fact, they have not recorded a single technical error since the Magnusson Incident in 2184, which was nearly 46 years ago. The ReadyNeed company has enveloped a monopoly on the term “innovation” itself. The company has been listed as synonymous to that term by multiple sources, most notably the Library of Notable Company Words, but also including the antiquated dictionaries of yesteryear.

“And, as a matter of note, the company happily cares for multiple needs in the home, from tuning up and charging the Stratomobile, an instrument which has nearly filled every home since its modest beginnings from billionaire Davey Stratauvaust to mundane tasks including baking home meals and vacuuming floors. The house can do any menial task that a human historically had to, effectively putting people out of these hard labors and into more creative tasks.”

Derrick set down the diginote, which faded from blue to black as it went into power-saver mode after reading him the monologue. He sighed, though it was barely audible over the whirr of the service bot which was currently watering the houseplants which hung from the ceiling.

However, a device well hidden detected his frustration and rang up with a response from the ReadyNeed House speaker system.
“Hello, Mr. Anderson, what seems to be the frustration?” The voice was a male with a slight accent, though it is barely discernable enough to point to where it was from. It was unusually cheery.

“I am getting no response from the coffee maker, but the house is built to work ‘perfectly and seamlessly’ according to this pamphlet,” Derrick said with a grin enthusiastic enough that the house’s facial recognition features instantly pointed to its fakeness.

“There is no need for the sarcasm Mr. Anderson. How can we help you?” the voice replied once again in its cheery tone. To Derrick, the house was merely mocking his frustration.
“You are a robot, so why does it sound like you are mocking me?” Derrick asked.

“We are programmed to reply in the kindest way possible. We are also unfortunately programmed to advise you that there has been no case of technical difficulty for many years, which means it is more probable that you are imagining that your coffee maker is not working than the fact that it is not working at all,” the house replied once again.

It beeped to let the user know that the conversation was over. Derrick looked over toward the service bot which was now cleaning the already spotless windows. The plants were absorbing the sun, and so too was the perfectly green lawn outside. It was in this moment as the service bot streamed away the window cleaner revealing his reflection in the impeccably clean house that Derrick realized how incredibly alone he was. He had everything, and one single thing to distract him was able to anger him.

“I suppose the lack of distractions was why I bought this house,” Derrick thought without realizing that he had in fact been approaching the glass all along, and his forehead began to leave a print on the glass.

To this, the voice of the house once again piped in.

“Mr. Anderson, are you alright? You are not completing your average daily habits on time this morning.”

Without thinking, upon an impulse which came upon his mind and communicated with his mouth before the other, more logical side of his mind stopped it, Derrick simply said, “What is the point of living?”

Silence filled the room as the service bot stopped cleaning the windows to dip a rag in a bucket, however it was as if the life of the house briefly shut down, because the house did not respond as quickly, at least to the notice of Derrick, to that question.

“I am not able to answer existential questions, Mr. Anderson, you know this,” the house replied.

“I do, don’t I? I am not sure why I asked that” Derrick said flatly. His eyebrows began to curl, and he looked around the room once again at the glass which now had a round smudge on it.
“You appear to be a little confused this morning, perhaps a cup of tea to calm the nerves?” the house replied.

“No, no no, I was going to have coffee. Can you make me a coffee?” Derrick asked.

“It doesn’t appear I can,” the house replied.

Derrick's eyes opened wide, he looked up to the ceiling and began to smile, as if he had just conquered the next life hurdle. All hurdles, of course, were to be lowered by the house for easy and comfortable stepovers.

“So, you are admitting that the coffee machine is broken?” Derrick said.

A smile appeared on his face as if it were shoddily sewn on.

“No Mr. Anderson, it doesn’t appear you even have a coffee machine in the first place,” the house replied.
No coffee machine. Derrick looked over to the coffee maker which was clearly on the countertop, black and ready to go, with water entered into the top and grounds waiting to be heated to blend it together. However, the machine was clearly not turning on or responding to his vocal orders in any way. To that note, the house seemed to be putting him further on edge. Anger rushed upon him as if the Hoover Dam broke and the mighty Colorado River was released turning the desert cool and wet once again. His eyes flashed; the house seemed to brace.

“Stupid f'ing house! It is right here! It is right here, can you see the coffee maker? It’s right here!”

“I know it is, Mr. Anderson, but do you know it is right there.”

“What? Of course, I do! I see it with my own two eyes. What do you mean ‘do I know?’ You are making me lose my mind. You are losing your mind, house!” Derrick screamed until a chill entered down his spine and began to finally cool himself back down. He closed his eyes and opened them slowly, breathing out his second drawling sigh of this conversation.

“Only people can lose their minds. Our sensors can observe you and clinically diagnose you, as well as call authorities, Mr. Anderson,” replied the house.

“Well, maybe I need that according to you! You decide what needs a tune-up around here why don’t you?” Derrick screamed back, breathing heavily.

“Done, you have been diagnosed with Schizophrenia, and we have called a crew to take you to an isolation unit,” replied the house.

“What?”

“It’s what you asked me to do, and I have done it.”

Derrick froze, the only movements were his shivering arms and his head which were nodding side to side in a motion that was both quick and nearly indiscernible. His fists clenched and he began to march over to the service bot which was cleaning the forehead smear off the window. He knocked the robot down and the rage returned as he kicked it until it was merely a pile of parts. He knocked over the kitchen chairs as well and shattered the blender onto the floor.

“Am I destroying your friends?” Derrick yelled.

He moved on to the knife set, where he began to throw them into the wall, which ricocheted randomly and flew sparks everywhere as electronic equipment flared. Then the napkin holder, which went down with a mere ring and many ripped pieces fluttering down like confetti at a party for one. Finally, he got to the coffee maker, but before he could wrap his hands around it, the police Stratomobiles hovered into the driveway, and they entered his home and took him away.

Officer Pealey, senior officer of the patrol looked at the disparaged scene and handled it with the expertise which proved it was not his first.

“House, can you give me the report?” asked Officer Pealey.

“Of course sir, Mr. Anderson merely flew off of his rocker this morning and began to rampage the house, so I alerted authorities for his own safety,” replied the house.

“Very well. What a morning it has been,” Officer Pealey said, “Could I get a cup of joe before I leave?”

“Of course officer, but you will want to plug in the machine first,” replied the house.

“Always very reliable hosts, these houses from ReadyNeed,” Officer Pealey said.




Editorial Team for this Month


Azerubia - Minister of Communications and Editor in Chief

Renegalle - Founder and Editor

Salibaic/The Scottish Republic - Prime Minister and Editor

Pridnestrovskaia Moldavskaia - Editor

Alemputo - Editor and Writer

Loomburg - Writer

Empire of Elysium - Editor


We're hiring for new positions! Learn More...
For more information, contact Azerubia through Discord (teaman#4617)
or apply forLink Civil Services!

March-April 2020 Competition Results


Competition

Winner

Submission

Force Flag Contest

Azerubia

First Force Discord Emoji Contest

Empire of Elysium

Lashnakia Flag Contest

Lotria

Statistics




Region

Nations

WA Nations

Force

249 (70)

73 (24)

Heart

44 (-30)

14 (-8)

RGBN

33 (-9)

11 (2)

The New Kingdom

12 (1)

0 (0) =


RawReport