by Max Barry

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by The Reformed Thought Criminal of Wolfcloak Rebels. . 443 reads.

The Squirrel-Wolfcloak Civil War [Completed]

Squirrel-Wolfcloak Civil War

February 9th, 2020 – February 27th, 2020
(2 weeks and 4 days)

21st Century Rome Regional Message Board,
Italia, Anatolia, Africa

Wolfcloak victory


Wolfcloak rebels
Nuclear cultists
Squirrel loyalists


Commanders and Leaders










1,400,000 soldiers
80,000 militiamen
300,000 soldiers
50,000 miltiamen
500,000 conscripts


Casualties and Losses

11,883 killed
9,521 wounded
Lots of time lol
12,335 killed
11,143 wounded

The Squirrel-Wolfcloak Civil War, also known as the Wolfcloak Rebellion and the First Nukesade was a civil war in 21st Century Rome, fought between the Squirrel loyalists (allied with the Squirrel military junta) and supporters of the Wolfcloak rebel movement. The conflict originally grew from a popular rebellion against the rule of Iroma, leading to the formation of the Wolfcloak Rebels faction. Continued Wolfcloak provocations led the Squirrel loyalists to declare war on the rebels on February 9th, 2020.

The war was a nearly three-week-long political and military struggle, fought primarily on the 21st Century Rome Regional Message Board, but also in the imperial territories of Italia, Anatolia, and Africa. After gathering a massive army in Germania, the rebels marched on the city of Rome, which was later occupied by the rebellion after a tense standoff with Papal forces. Afterward, the rebels were able to launch a surprise attack on the Iroman fleet anchored in the Battle of the Bosphorous, crippling loyalist forces in the eastern Mediterranean.

The rebel armies were on the verge of invading the loyalist-held Levant when the Iroman regime suddenly collapsed on February 27th, 2020. The rebel forces disbanded shortly thereafter.



Kalends of February coup

Hostilities between the two factions initially arose after the Kalends of February Coup, during which Iroma, Chief Squirrel Officer, and Novo Senatus et Populusque Romanus, former Imperator, seized regional power. Iroma formally declared himself dictator perpetuo and began his rule by openly supporting the controversial Squirrel Cult and its paramilitary wing, the Squirrel Military Junta. Previously, many nations in 21st Century Rome had fought against the Squirrels, so neither the religion nor its followers were very popular in 21st Century Rome. Iroma further alienated his subjects by adopting the title of "Maniacal Squirrel" and attempting to supplant the older Nuclear Cult with squirrel worship. In an attempt to further cement his power, Iroma used the deposed Imperator of 21st Century Rome as a hostage, holding him at knifepoint to threaten the Roman people into worshipping the Almighty Squirrel.

Rise of the Wolfcloaks

Deep discontentment with the Iroma’s rule led to the emergence of the Wolfcloaks, a political faction that opposed the influence of the Squirrel Cult within 21st Century Rome. They were led by the mysterious Titus Cleraticus, and considered themselves the "true sons and daughters of 21st Century Rome", openly calling for rebellion against the rule of Iroma. The name “Wolfcloak” was inspired by the wolf-skin headdresses worn by the Linkvelites of the ancient Roman republic. The uniform was also a reference to the legend of Romulus and Remus. The Wolfcloaks adopted the uniform as a way of honoring Roman history and tradition.

The Squirrels declare war

The Wolfcloaks quickly became notorious for posting anti-Squirrel memes and agitating for rebellion. The rising tensions between pro and anti-Squirrel partisans eventually led to a declaration of war by the Squirrel Military Junta on February 9th, 2019.

Immediately afterward, Koroskvy declared their support for the rebels. Hadrian Gladius, Holy Nuke Pope of the Nuke Cult, also declared a “Nukesade” against the Squirrels, thus bringing Olivedrabia into the war. The Wolfcloaks would also gain the support of Netherbright, Draconovox, Sperio, Koedric, Kyrata,Protos primeros, Compakt Repsublic, Republic of Texas Texas, Spayn, and Albaeara.

Oddly enough, the Squirrels were supported by strongly Christian nations like Slobodovia and Pope Landia, the latter of which would later declare neutrality after the Siege of Rome.

Many Roman nations were indifferent to the war, and chose not to take sides. Nations like Greecelandia, Romau, Mantacore, Omto, Suwaya,
Kamchakta and Novo Senatus et Populusque Romanus officially remained neutral. Despite their official stances, Mantacore and Suwaya provided support to the rebels and the Squirrel loyalists respectively. Greecelandia would later join the side of the rebellion.

LinkCivil War Factions Map by Koroskvy

Conduct of the war

Opening moves

Geographically, the Wolfcloaks started off controlling most of northwestern Europe, including the northern half of Britannia, most of Germania, and the north coast of Gaul. They also held territory in West Africa. In Europe, the Squirrel loyalists only had a foothold in Dacia. Most of their forces were spread out in South Asia and Indonesia, and an outpost in Judea.

When Kyrata joined the civil war on the side of the rebels, Scandinavia also fell under Wolfcloak control.

The Siege of Rome

After gathering sufficient forces in southern Germania, the rebels began an offensive on February 14th, 2020. A massive army estimated to be 2.5 million men strong, mostly consisting of Olivedrabians, Koroskvians, Wolfcloaks and Nuclear Cult militias and under the command of Cleraticus crossed into Pannonia, with the intent of marching on the city of Rome. The army faced little opposition as it moved through Raetia, crossed the Rubicon, and invaded the northern provinces of Italy. Cleraticus and his allies were within striking distance of Rome.

I. Pannonia- netural, occupied by SENATVS POPULUSQUE ROMANVS
II. Raetia- unoccupied
III. Venetia- unoccupied
IV. Etruria- unoccupied
V. Roma- netural, later occupied by Pope Landia

However, the city was held by Pope Jon, an ally of the Squirrel loyalists. He refused all initial demands for the city's surrender, despite the superior military strength of the besieging rebel army. A bloody urban battle seemed inevitable.

Under the direction of Cleraticus, the various rebel armies encircled Rome and began preparing to storm the city. A no-fly zone was established over the city, preventing any chances of airlifting supplies. Large numbers of civilians began fleeing the city and were allowed to pass through the siege lines unmolested. However, many Squirrel cultists were caught at checkpoints and summarily crucified on the direct orders of Cleraticus.

In Rome itself, the streets and buildings were fortified, effectively turning the city into a "fortress" that would have to be cleared in house-to-house combat. The city's defenders numbered 50,000, consisting mostly of ill-trained militiamen armed with modern weaponry. They were also supported by Pope Landia's elite guard unit, which consisted of 189 holy warriors. The defenders had little artillery or anti-aircraft weapons but did possess a large supply of landmines.

However, the anticipated battle was avoided through diplomacy. Just before his troops were to attack the city, Clerticus sent a letter to Pope Jon, expressing his regret that the cultural treasures of the city would likely be destroyed in the ensuing carnage. He pleaded for the defenders to surrender in exchange for clemency and a guarantee to prevent looting by the besieging rebels. This letter convinced the Pope to enter into negotiations with the rebels, eventually culminating in the Holy Treaty of Rome. The treaty prohibited any looting of the city or any indiscriminate killing of civilians. The rebels also agreed to respect the sovereignty of the Vatican within its own territory, and Squirrel cultists who were arrested by the rebels would be given a chance to repent of their heresy before facing execution.

In exchange, Pope Jon agreed to renounce his support for the Squirrel faction, to not oppose the occupation of the city by rebel forces, and to recognize the authority of Titus Cleraticus within the city of Rome. Thus, the treaty legitimized the rebellion's hold over Rome while depriving the Squirrels of a major ally.

Along with a small retinue of guards, Cleraticus entered the Vatican to present the finished treaty to the pope. While the negotiations were being finalized, Republic of Texas Texas mercenaries in the employ of the rebellion accidentally fired off several rounds of mustard gas into Rome, without orders from the rebel command. Several civilians died and many were wounded. During the chaos, a group of terrorists posing as Republic of Texas Texas helicopter crewmen launched a surprise attack after pretending to have been downed by a mechanical error. The attack forced Pope Jon and Cleraticus to take shelter in the Vatican vaults, where they would hastily sign the treaty. Meanwhile. papal guards cornered the terrorists into an administrative building next to St. Peter’s Basilica and a short but violent gunfight ensued. In the fighting, all the terrorists were slain, while a Papal guard named Kaspar Rφist was mortally wounded by a grenade blast. The entire incident was an unfortunate blemish on an otherwise bloodless resolution to the siege

Suwaya also intervened in the siege by sending sailors to smuggle 3,061 Squirrel cultists to the Suwayan capital of Khaleeji. This operation, codenamed "Flaming Squirrel", would lead to tense relations between the officially neutral emirate and the rebel faction.

After Pope Jon signed the treaty on February 17th, the siege was lifted and the city was occupied by Wolfcloak troops. The next day, Cleraticus re-entered the city at the head of a military parade reminiscent of a Roman triumph. He was acclaimed as “Salvator Imperii” and “Magnus” by the cheering crowds. After reaching an abandoned Squirrel cult temple, he stopped to give thanks to the goddess Concord by sacrificing a sheep. He also delivered a speech to the assembled citizens, calling for the goddess Concord to help bring about the end of the civil war, and officially adopting her cult as his religion. The other leaders of the rebellion would also parade their troops in the city to celebrate their bloodless victory.

The Olivedrabian "Hell March"

In addition to aiding Cleraticus's advance towards Rome, the Olivedrabians simultaneously carried out their own operations in Italy, nicknamed "the Hell March". After crossing the Alps, the Olivedrabian army attacked the city of Venice on February 15th and easily captured it, due to the lack of a garrison or defenses. Nuclear Cult militias descended on the city, leading to widespread looting occurs and killings of Squirrel cultists. The number of civilians killed during the chaos is unknown, but likely in the hundreds. Olivedrabian military officials made no effort to reign in the violence.

Shortly after this, approximately 500 Olivedrabian officers, of varying rank, branch, and theater, seeing the atrocities committed by the Nuke as an affront to their honor, issued a protest to Hadrian Gladius, stating that, if the Nuclear Cult was not reigned in, they will immediately withdraw their forces from combat, and return home. A meeting was held by the Olivedrabian High Command, with Gladius in attendance. The meeting led to the redeployment of the Nuclear Cult militias to the African and Asian theaters.

The Hell March offensive was eventually halted at the Battle of Mediolanum on February 16th, where the locals put up a fierce resistance against the invaders, not out of religious zeal, but out of sheer desperation to prevent another sack similar to the one that happened in Venice. The battle devolved into bitter street-fighting, with neither side being able to claim victory.

Meanwhile, the Olivedrabian navy imposed a blockade on all the major ports of Italy's western coast. Aircraft launched from Olivedrabian carriers completed sorties against the Squirrel loyalists, targeting strategic installations and supply lines to the cities of Pisa, Florence, and Ravenna. The islands of Corsica and Sardinia quickly fell to marine landings.

The African front

The African theater of the civil war was no less bloody than the European one. The Draconoxians were stalwart supporters of the Wolfcloak rebellion and carried out many operations of their own against the loyalists. While rebel armies marched on Rome, Draconox's military quickly swept through West Africa, occupying those provinces in the name of the rebel cause. The Draconoxians then used airfields in Chad and Sudan to launch a stealthy paramilitary strike on Iroma's forces within Judea. Simultaneously, a rebel force organized by Draconovox moved down the Nile River to attack the Egyptian-Judean border.

Despite the nation's official stance of neutrality, the National Army of Suwaya seized control of Suez on February 16th and began limiting shipments to Europe. The port remained in Suwayan hands for the rest of the war.

In a desperate bid to bring the war to the Draconovoxian homeland, about 500,000 prisoners from Judean prisons were conscripted into the Iroman army, before being deployed in Africa with the goal of disrupting all trade and travel lanes connecting the Middle East and Africa through guerrilla operations. The operations were moderately successful but were widely condemned as banditry.

The Battle of the Bosphorous

In Rome, the rebels began setting up a provisional government to formulate the goals of the rebellion. On the orders of Cleraticus, Wolfcloak soldiers entered the Roman Parliament on February 18th to arrest the three members of the Squirrel Party. The MPs were imprisoned on "suspicion of treason and heresy" and would later disappear without a trace. Their final fates are unknown.

On February 19th, 2020, the Iroman Squirrel loyalists in Syria and Judea began mobilizing their troops for a two-pronged offensive. The first prong was the departure of a large Iroman fleet from the city of Acre. The fleet swiftly subjugated the island of Cyprus before proceeding to Constantinople, which was controlled by the neutral Greater Roman State. The fleet also carried soldiers for a potential assault in mainland Europe. The second prong of the campaign would be a military advance from the city of Antioch aimed at Cleraticus's lands in Armenia and Caucasia, which had been left unguarded while Cleraticus was campaigning in the Italian peninsula.

In response to this, the Imperial Koroskvian Army began setting up a large defensive perimeter running through Croatia, Hungary, Western Ukraine, and Crimea. The Koroskvian navy also began advancing into the Eastern Mediterranean. Additionally, Cleraticus's eldest son, Caius Cleraticus, began calling on the people of Caucasia and Armenia to mount a defense of the Wolfcloak homeland. Almost the entire population was temporarily mobilized to prepare for a likely invasion by the Iroman army.

Meanwhile, Cleraticus began planning a massive attack on the Iroman fleet anchored in Constantinople's harbor. An armada of ships from his lands on the Black Sea was mobilized, consisting of small but quick-moving boats, each one manned by a suicide bomber and packed with explosives. These boats slowly infiltrated into the harbor where the loyalist fleet was stationed. The attack would also be supported by the Koroskvian and Olivedrabian navies, which had blocked off the Dardanelles to prevent any survivors from escaping into the Mediterranean.

The Battle of the Bosphorous started at midday on February 21st. Without warning, the rebel boats began speeding towards the anchored Iroman fleet. There were so many fast-moving small boats that the deck-mounted ship guns or overhead assets such as drones or helicopters were unable to destroy enough approaching targets in time. The small size of the harbor also made it nearly impossible for many of the Iroman vessels to take evasive action. As a result, the loyalist fleet suffered heavy losses, with thousands of Iroman sailors killed or wounded. More damage was inflicted on the loyalist fleet by Olivedrabian aircraft, which launched sorties over the straits against Iroman vessels. While the loyalist ships that could escape fled to the Sea of Marmara or the Black Sea, the fleet's military strength had been crippled. The battle was a major victory for the rebels, but was regarded by some as an act of terrorism.

Cleraticus's Judean expedition

In a bid to prevent further war crimes, the ruler of Suwaya invited all nations of Rome to the so-called "Khaleeji Convention", where rules of war to protect civilians would be drafted, in addition to outlawing cruel weaponry and instituting a strict watch on all nuclear arsenals. The convention drew delegates from neutral and warring nations alike: Kyrata, Koroskvy, Compakt Repsublic, Kamchakta, Draconovox, Texas Texas, Pope Landia, Mantacore, and Protos primeros would all send delegations. For unknown reasons, Cleraticus chose not to address the convention.

From their seat in the Roman parliament, the rebel leaders began drafting a formal list of demands, called the Postulatio Deditionem ("The demand for surrender"). The document outlined the main grievances of the rebellion, primarily their opposition to the Squirrel Cult and the Iroman regime. They called for the surrender of Sebastinanus, an end to Squirrel Cult’s influence in the regional government, the abolishment of the title "Chief Tree Mouse Officer '', a ban on all political organizations affiliated with the Squirrel Cult, the expulsion of the Squirrel Military Junta from 21st Century Rome, and a general pardon for all who participated in the war on both sides. In exchange, the rebel armies would disband and the civil war would officially cease. However, the war ended before the Postulatio Deditionem could be published.

With the eastern Mediterranean cleared of significant Squirrel opposition, the Levant was a ripe target for the rebellion's armies. Men, weapons, and supplies began pouring into the port of Ostia, where they were organized into an expeditionary force under the personal command of Cleraticus similar to the one he led in his march on Rome. It numbered in the hundreds of thousands and encompassed a wide variety of military units. A significant portion of the original Wolfcloak army remained in the city of Rome to keep order and guard it against a potential attack.

The first wave of the expeditionary force embarked from Ostia on February 23rd, bound for the loyalist-controlled lands of Syria and Judaea. A screen of aircraft and small military vessels accompanied the ships to prevent a surprise attack by the enemy. Once this first wave had established its assigned foothold, Cleraticus would join them with the rest of the army. To support the planned landings, Draconovoxian forces began advancing into southern Judea from their positions in Egypt. Despite facing some resistance, they manage to conquer the lands east of the Gaza strip and were only three kilometers from the city of Jerusalem, Sebastinaius's self-proclaimed capital.

Collapse of the Iroman regime

Ever since the coup that toppled him from power, the Imperator had been imprisoned in a dark, filthy cell in the Squirrel Cult headquarters. The king of the gods, Jupiter, seeing that the moment was right, imbued the captive Imperator with the strength of a hundred men. Filled with divine battle-fury, the Imperator fought his way out of the prison. As the loyalist soldiers saw their rightful ruler emerge from the ruins of the Squirrel Cult's headquarters, they immediately defected to his side. The Squirrel cultists panicked and fled. Upon losing his power, Sebastianus fled into exile in the far eastern parts of the empire.

Shortly afterward, the rebel leaders declared victory for their faction. As there was no further need to continue waging war, Cleraticus ordered the troops of the Judean Expedition to return to Rome, where they would later be disbanded.

Use of memes

The Wolfcloaks and their supporters made use of memes to make fun of the opposing side and to rally their supporters. Additionally, memes were deployed to keep the conflict entertaining and engaging.




  • February 1st, 2020

    • Iroma and Novo Senatus et Populusque Romanus seize power in a coup de'etat.

  • February 8th, 2020

    • The Wolfcloak Rebels begin agitating against the Iroman regime.
    • The Maniacal Squirrel of Iroma attempts to install "Squirrelry" as the state religion of 21st Century.

  • February 9th, 2020

    • The Squirrel military junta declares war on the Wolfcloak Rebels, thus sparking the civil war.
    • Koroskvy declares their support for the rebellion.
    • Olivedrabia declares their support for the rebellion.
    • Netherbright declares their support for the rebellion.

  • February 10th, 2020

    • Koedric declares their support for the rebellion.

  • February 11th, 2020
    • Draconovox declares their support for the rebellion.
    • Pope Landia declares their support for the Squirrels.
    • Romau declares neutrality in the civil war.
    • Greecelandia declares neutrality in the civil war.
    • Novo Senatus et Populusque Romanus declares neutrality in the civil war.
    • Mantacore declares neutrality in the civil war.
    • Protos primeros declares neutrality in the civil war.

  • February 12th, 2020
    • Draconovox declares their support for the rebellion.
    • Pope Landia declares their support for the Squirrels.
    • Romau declares neutrality in the civil war.

  • February 13th, 2020
    • The Nuclear Cult declares their support for the rebellion.

  • February 14th, 2020
    • Olivedrabian troops in Germania begin advancing south into Norica.
    • Titus Cleraticus begins his march on Rome with an army of 2.5 million soldiers.
    • Sebastianus the Humble delivers his first sermon.
    • Kyrata declares their support for the rebellion.

  • February 15th, 2020
    • Protos primeros declares their support for the rebellion.
    • Slobodovia declares their support for the Squirrels.
    • The rebel army led by Cleraticus crosses the Rubicon, marking their entry into the lands of northern Italy.
    • Compakt Repsublic declares their support for the rebellion.
    • The Olivedrabian army sacks the city of Venice, marking the start of the Olivedrabian "Hell March".

  • February 16th, 2020
    • Pope Jon demands the rebels to halt their advance on Rome and threatens to put up stiff resistance.
    • Draconovox carries out attacks against Squirrel loyalists in Africa.
    • The momentum of the Olivedrabian "Hell March" is halted at the Battle of Mediolanum.
    • The western coast of Italy is blockaded by the Olivedrabian navy.
    • The Protest of the 500 occurs.
    • Suwayan forces seize control of the Suez canal.
    • The city of Rome is besieged by the rebel force under the command of Cleraticus. Rome's defenders begin fortifying the city.
    • Spayn declares their support for the rebellion.
    • Soldiers from Republic of Texas Texas join the rebel army near Rome.
    • Cleraticus extends a final offer of clemency to Pope Jon, which is accepted. Negotiations for a treaty begin.

  • February 17th, 2020
    • Cleraticus enters the Vatican to present the Holy Treaty of Rome to Pope Jon for his approval. The treaty is signed by both parties.
    • During Operation Flaming Squirrel, Suwayan sailors smuggle 3,061 Squirrel cultists to the Suwayan capital of Khaleeji.
    • Mercenaries in the employ of the rebellion accidentally fired off several rounds of mustard gas into Rome as the treaty is being signed.
    • Terrorists attempt to murder Pope Jon, but the attempt is thwarted by Papal guards.
    • In accordance with the Holy Treaty of Rome, Pope Landia declares neutrality.

  • February 18th, 2020
    • The city of Rome falls into rebel control without a battle.
    • Cleraticus publicly declares his conversion to the Cult of Blessed Concord.
    • The Squirrel Party's members in the Roman parliament are arrested by Wolfcloaks.
    • Omto declares neutrality in the civil war.

  • February 19th, 2020
    • Convicts in Judean prisons are conscripted into the Squirrel loyalist army and deployed on the African front as guerillas.
    • Iroman forces begin deploying into Anatolia, in preparation to attack rebel-controlled Armenia.
    • Squirrel loyalists occupy Cyprus and Constantinople.

  • February 20th, 2020
    • Radical Violetists carry out a terror bombing in Mediolanum.

  • February 21st, 2020
    • Koroskvian troops begin setting up a large defensive perimeter through Croatia, Hungary, Western Ukraine, and Crimea.
    • The Iroman fleet anchored in Constantinople is crippled by a coordinated rebel attack in the Battle of the Bosphorous.

  • February 23rd, 2020
    • The ruler of Suwaya invites all nations of Rome to the Khaleeji Convention in order to draft rules of war.
    • A large rebel army departs from Rome to invade Iroman Judea.
    • Caius Cleraticus begins mobilizing an army to defend Armenia and Caucasia.
    • Draconovoxian troops begin advancing through southern Judea.

  • February 26th, 2020
    • Albaeara declares their support for the rebellion.
    • Greecelandia declares their support for the rebellion.

  • February 27th, 2020
    • The Imperator of 21st Century Rome overthrows the Iroman regime, leading to the total collapse of the loyalist faction.
    • The rebel armies declare victory and begin the process of demobilization.



The rebel victory resulted in the restoration of the old imperial family and the rule of the Imperator of 21st Century Rome. The Squirrel Cult's influence in the regional government was severely diminished after the fall of the Iroman regime. As a result of their success in the civil war, Titus Cleraticus gained much prestige and popularity in 21st Century Rome. The Cleratici family would go on to become influential players in regional politics and their family members would make many contributions to postwar Roman government and society.