In the beautiful bay of Diolus there was an aircraft carrier. It had been there for about a decade after it was decommissioned and it had become something of a tourist attraction. About a year after it went out of service a large group of odd men and women petitioned the government to inhabit the ship for themselves. After much debate and backlash from the conservatives in government, this request was eventually agreed to, much to the amusement of the international and domestic press. The group that moved in was named Hippie Power.

When they marched to the ship, a large Gay Pride flag could be seen, carried by the first of them to board. It was raised above the ship moments after that woman disappeared inside the ship. When the group boarded the vessel it was also obvious to all watching that they were a very diverse group. Nearly half of them were nudists and a good proportion of the other half were wearing dreadlocks and tie-dye shirts. Many had cigarettes in their mouths, and one or two had multiple types. The group proudly admitted that these cigarettes were not exclusively nicotine based. After a few weeks it became clear that the hippies were not done with making their changes to the carrier. The media covering the story noted the wooden crates appearing on deck. They were filled with soil and dispersed throughout the ship. From these beds grew many stalks of brilliant green kale which the hippies could often be seen harvesting and using to drink kale smoothies. There was also an attempt to grow almonds so that the hippies could drink almond milk but this plan was deemed unfeasible.

Over the decade during which the ship had sat in harbour, naked and half-naked men and women could be seen lounging on deck, harvesting kale and holding many gay, polygamous wedding ceremonies. They also sang about love, peace and uniting the world. Candles often lit up the deck on seemingly random occasions.

Following the news of the blockade by Mussoliniburg and others, the hippies have apparently decided that their presence is demanded over there and with flower-crowns in their hair and waltz music blasting out into the harbour, the hippies cleared out the kale from the engine and set sail. It would be a long journey, but an aircraft carrier hosting a few hundred nudist, polygamous, gay hippies was on its way to the Musoliniburgian blockade.

Various ideas had been floated, but most of them were rather impractical. The fact was that they were running out of kale and they weren't growing much else. No amount of peace and love could save them from malnutrition at the hands of an enforced all-kale-diet.

It was soon decided that sailing back to Mzeusia was the only option. Not wanting to go into a foreign port, they sent out an urgent request for food. The Mzeusian government responded with several helicopters loaded with food. One hippie faction demanded an immediate peace, but the more rational faction advocating for sensible food consumption won out.

Despite this new destination and with it, a new purpose, disappointment cracked his whip on the backs of all aboard. Even with the copious amount of hallucinogens taken to cope, there were no illusions about what would have transpired should the protest have gone ahead. A conflict, especially a peaceful one with Mussoliiburg would have been a righteous, just, and invigorating affair. It would have spurred the world to further action, and the hippies would have been the cause.

It took three days before someone came up with a plan. The hippies could simply arrive back in Mzeusia with as much pomp and circumstance as possible. If they couldn't draw attention to themselves one way, they would do it another. The Mzeusian press would most likely cover their return whatever they did, but a fabulously kale-filled nudist party would do wonders for their image. The men and women assembled on deck and orders were given. Some were put to work on flower chains, others repainted parts of the ship with brighter, more flowery designs, and others brushed up on their dancing, leading a sizeable number in synchronised dancing on deck, much to the interest of a passing cruise ship. The largest group, however, were locked into a debate about the future of the ship.

This debate dominated the discussion. The older hippies couldn't remember such a time in their history when everyone was so divided. Whether to plant kale or sweet potatoes as the primary vegetable on ship had come close, and that terrible episode still left some in cold sweats.

Staying in Mzeusia and waiting for the next conflict was one idea put forward. Those taking up arms for that position argued that patience was a core value for hippies. Another group said that once in harbour, the hippies should focus all their energy on kale-growth and petitioning the government for more land. A slick advertising campaign, they said, would rally more hippies to their cause. The backers of this idea were not united, however. A subgroup decided that declaring the First Hippie Reich would be the best marketing strategy, but after being threatened with being pushed overboard, those hippies quietened down. Perhaps the plan with the most support however, advocated for a resupply in Mzeusia, diversification of crops to make the ship sustainable, and then embarkation out into the Lazarene oceans for an epic journey with the aim of spreading hippie values to all.

As the hippies sailed back to Mzeusia, many paths lay open to them.

After many days of travel, the hippies were nearing the harbour. On the way, they had received food from helicopters to sustain themselves, but when, on one occasion, the delivered food contained sausage rolls and beef jerky, the hippies went on strike. For three days they sat in the water, sipping ever shrinking smoothies of kale and muttering amongst themselves about insensitivity. When helicopters carrying news crew would fly over, they would start shouting and shaking their fists. The next food delivery was thoroughly checked before being sent off, and the hippies went on their way.

A few days before entering Mzeusian waters, a news team from the small but ambitious Soggy Newspaper News attempted to come alongside the Hippie Power to do interviews. A group of drugged-out hippies on deck spotted them and believed they were pirates. Shouting out orders, one particular hippie raised the alarm, and the hippies moved to repel the boarders and only the swift action of the news team saved them from a grisly fate. Some of the hippies attempted to man the ships's guns, forgetting they were no longer operational. Apart from an insomnia-wracked hippie thinking he saw the god of storms, the rest of the journey was relatively peaceful.

Upon their return, reporters lined the harbour, taking pictures and making their reports as Hippie Power slowed. The day was a bright, sunny one, and it was under this pleasant weather that a stream of partly tanned, partly sunburned hippies streamed onto dry land. One of them fell over as soon as she touched the concrete, but it wasn't clear if that was the result of having spent so much time at sea, or not.

The hippies gave interviews, called for more to join their cause, made demands of the Mzeusian navy to hand over the entire fleet, and got into fights with a group of protesters who were protesting about something completely unrelated. After a few days, the excitement around their arrival quietened slightly, but the local news still documented the diversification of crops being grown abroad, and the frequent arguments that erupted between the locals and hippies. After about a month of recruiting new hippies and preparing themselves for a new journey, a woman who had apparently become the leader made an announcement from the deck of the ship.

"Dear Lazarus," she began. "For too long you have been suffering under the weight of a life without liberation. For too long, you have not been able to feel the comforting scratch of raw kale against your cheek, and for too long you have not had the pleasure of being free from your earthbound civilisations. We, the hippie community here in Mzeusia realise the peril you are all in, and standing by is no longer an option. Our recent odyssey has opened our eyes and brought us much good chi and karma. We now understand that it is our duty to spread the word of peace and love to all the world. We hope that more will join us in this quest."

With that surprisingly sober announcement, Hippie Power, for the second time, left the harbour with a mission. The locals were certainly relieved to see it gone, but with a better on-board diet and with nearly double the amount of crew members than when they arrived, the hippies were in good spirits.

After about a week of sailing nowhere in particular, Hippie Power was drifting south of Thule, doing very little. Another argument had broken out, and it was looking like a more physical altercation would ensue. The crucial question facing the hippies was the question of what to do next. Of course, the scuffles over diet, the extent which rationing should be introduced, and the ethical implications of certain methods of protest were not going away, but all agreed to discuss these pressing issues another time.

Given the escalating situation in the south, that seemed like the prime place for a dispersion of peace and love, and aside from a few hippies pointing out the danger of such a venture, the hippies were in favour of the destination. Although a specific destination had not been decided on, the southern hemisphere was enough for now, and the engine was fired up. It was also decided that if they were to meet any vessel along the way, the hippies were to attempt a conversion of that crew and see if any would join their ranks. Some even believed of persuading the entire ship to join. If they had voiced such ideas, the rest of the hippies may have branded them crazy, but images of a grand hippie armada traversing the vast waters of Lazarus was to delightful to completely abandon

One hippy ran his hand over the fronds of kale, feeling the lumpy surface of the plant. "So," he said. "I suppose we go back then?"

"Yeah," came the response. "No point staying here getting heatstroke."

It took a good three hours before anyone moved and even then, the movement was only a hippie going to the side of the ship to relieve his sea-sick bowels. A few hours later, through a series of mumbles, probably masterful hippy negotiation, the aircraft carrier Hippie Power got moving again, making its slow and steady progress back towards Mzeusia.

"Welcome to Radio Free Lazarus, I am your host Leticia Grenkin and I am coming to you from Hippie Power, the number one place for peace, love and ethics. Firstly, hello to all our fans around the world. When we docked back at Mzeusia, we were flooded with all your letters and gifts, expressing your love for our commune. It really does warm our kale-scented hearts to know that our message has been so inspirational in so many lives. To all of you who maybe do not know us as well, welcome to this broadcast. I hope to make clear the many benefits of joining us in spirit or in body. We are a growing movement and whether you step onto the deck with your own two feet, or support us from afar, you are all welcome."

Leticia cleared her throat. "Here on the seas we have been very active. As you will all know, tensions have been high with the navies of the world readying themselves for conflict. While we would not pass up any seagoing assistance you can offer us in our fight, the battle to teach people about hippie values must also be waged on land. In this first broadcast, I would like to call on the citizens of the world to form local hippie councils all across Lazarus. I would like to summon all to do their duty and to spread the word. I would like to sleep soundly tonight, knowing that the sun will rise above the waves, with the knowledge that it has risen on a better, cleaner, more moral world."

Leticia paused as the hippies in the room with her clapped. "I must go soon, but let my final, parting words be these," Leticia cleared her throat. "We like-minded souls here aboard the Hippie Power were content to sit there in Mzeusian waters, untouched by the squabbles of world leaders, but then, we had a change of heart. We sailed out to sea and did what was right. We, a small commune of hippies whom most believed were crazy, changed the world. It is time now for you to join us no matter who you are. Together, we shall bring peace and harmony to the world. Thank you, and good day."

"Hello and welcome to Radio Free Lazarus. I am as always, your host Leticia Grenkin, reaching you from the ignorant waters of Mzeusia. Firstly, I want you to know that a life of watery goodness is not a stable life. You might be thinking that is obviously, what with being on a ship, and you are right, but it is also a spiritually unstable life. There are many trials and tribulations here on board, which means that there will not be a regular schedule for broadcasting. We hope you can understand.

Anyway, on to what is really important. No, not the ongoing quest to forge the perfect kale smoothie, but the response to our previous broadcast and our plans going forward. The address which you have all been sending your letters to has been that of a sympathetic millionaire who made her money via sustainable and ethical means. She flew her private helicopter over here yesterday, loaded up with all your letters. It has been truly heart-warming to hear such a positive response from our last broadcast. Given the scale of your love, we have been inundated with letters, and for this reason, we ask you to find another way to reach us. Using all that paper is not sustainable.

What is this alternative method you cry! Well, it is the simple art of Mental Meditation Action, or MMA for short. If you obtain a state of relaxation and then whisper your message to us, we will hear. This isn't an easy process though, so if you want to pick up are book, MMA for Dummies, it should be available in all good stores for around 30 Moes. (OOC: Any resemblance to any real book is purely coincidental.)

Now, onto what we plan to do in the future. That is simple. We cannot tell you. We know that there may well be malicious forces listening in, and were they to learn of our activities, they could threaten our very existence.

As always, keep pestering your loved ones and family to join this growing, global movement. Stay strong, stay green stay woke. Thank you and have a good day.

The hippies bought as much as they could carry and hauled it back on board. After sampling much of the food, they reached a unanimous decision to declare it delicious. The hippies were happy for now.

OOC: Based heavily off of I'm Reviewing the Situation, one of the songs in the 1968 Oliver Twist Musical. If you want to sing along, use this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96rC4X_KWl4

IC: At 4:38 am, a lone hippie wondered onto deck. he sat a moment on the deck, looking up at the night sky. Then he stood and began to sing quietly to himself.

"A man's got a stomach hasn't he?
Kaleing apart, hasn't he?
And though I'd be the first one to say that I wasn't a saint
I'm finding it hard to really as green as they paint."

"I'm reviewing the situation.
Can a fellow be a hippie all his life?
All the Cossacks, and machination
Better settle down and get myself a wife"

The hippie grinned, walking more quickly across the deck.

"And a wife could cook and grow for me
And come for me, and go for me"

The hippie paused, all his cheer having left him.

"And go for me and nag at me
The finger she will wag at me
The smoothies she will take from me
A normie, she'll make from me
I think I'd better think it out again!"

He started to walk briskly in the other direction, staring at the entrance to the bowels of the ship.

"A wife you can keep, anyway
I'd rather sleep anyway."

He looked back towards the houses of Mzeusia.

"Left without anyone in the world
And I'm starting from now!"

He ran across the deck and stopped, hands gripping the banisters for the steps that led off Hippie Power.

"So how to leave kale
And stopping taking drugs?
So how?"

He started to move down the metal steps.

"I'm reviewing the situation
I must quickly look up ev'ryone I know
Normal people, with no migration
Who can help me have a normal life to show!"

"I will go to the shopping malls
And have a house with four big walls
And wave at all the normal folk
With friendliness and no more coke
Befitting of my title sir
Good morning to you, Landlubber!
I thin I'd better think it out again."

He dashed part-way up the steps, before coming to a halt.

"So where shall I go, somebody?
Who do I know? Nobody!
All my dearest companions
Have always been hippies and kale
So at my time of life I should start
Turning over new leaves?"

He turned around, looking again at the houses by the dock.

"I'm reviewing the situation
If you want to eat, you've got to earn a Moe!
Is it such a humiliation
For a hippie to want a job and go?"

He began a slow walk down the steps.

"So a job I'm getting, possibly
I wonder who the boss'll be?
I wonder if he'll take to me?
What bonuses he'll make to me?
I'll start at eight and finish late.
At normal rate, and all, but wait!"

He paused, glancing over his shoulder at the Hippie Power.
"I think I'd better think it out again"

He made his way back up the steps. His feet touched the deck once again."

"What happens when I'm seventy?"

He lay down on the deck, looking up at the night sky.

"Must come a time, seventy
When you're old and it's cold
And who cares if you live or you die?
Your one consolation's the kale
You may have put by."

He stood up, turning his back to the steps.

"I'm reviewing the situation
I'm a hippie and a hippie I shall stay!
You'll be seeing no transformation
But it's wrong to be a hippie in ev'ry way"

I don't want nobody shunned for me
Or made to grow the kale for me
This hippie life is not for me
It's getting far too green for me
Don't want no one to stand by me
But who will find a job for me
There is no in between for me
But who will change the scene for me?
I think I'd better think it out again!"

The man's shoulder's slumped and he walked back across the deck and into the depths of Hippie Power.

Many political pundits would have you believe that the election is between the vile Tylosis, and the perhaps even more repulsive Jania. This is a ludicrous, preposterous, laughable notion that should be fought wherever it crops up. Erika Wallisi has by far the most sensible policies, and despite possessing many incorrect opinions and refusing to address some major issues facing Mzeusia today, such as the future of the Mzeusian Muesli industry, she represents the best chance the country has at common sense governance.

Moving on, the biggest development since the last broadcast is of course the discovery of the tastiness of Leonist muesli, but we will take some time to take about the war between Leonism, Custadia, Cossack Peoples and co. Mzeusia needs to take a strong stance again all combatants, and it needs to condemn every single one of them. War is a childish, vestigial part of human interaction, doing naught but displaying the inability of these failing states to come to the table. It was good of Mr Tylosis to offer them the chance to talk out their differences at Mzikos, but his offer was weak and far too late. We needed to offer peace much sooner, and now that the Mzeusian offer has been refused, we need to make a point of refusing to assist in any way, either militarily or medically. If rogue states wish to bring their guns to the sandpit and duke it out, let them do that. The Mzeusian child in the nursery of international relations will simply play in the ball-pit instead.

That is all for now. Expect further announcements in the future, especially about our next destination and that ambrosia that goes by the name of Muesli. Keep being green and have a good day or night.

Leticia Grenkin, full up on kale and almonds was taking shelter under the shade of the conning tower, when a shout came from the top of that structure. "We've got company! Starboard side!"

Leticia staggered to her feet, rushing out onto the deck. The calm water and gentle sky of the waters south of Thule, showed her nothing, but then another cry went up. "Port side! I meant port side!"

Turning around, Leticia proceeded to join the mass of hippies flocking to the port side of the ship. Many wear yelling and pointing, but one man broke down. "I can't see anything! I must be blind!"

He was mostly ignored, for there in the waves, clinging on to a piece of driftwood was the limp figure of a woman. "Go get him!" someone screamed.

"You misgendered her!" another hippie yelled. Perhaps they engaged in this verbal duel so as to not do any of the work that saving her would involve, Truth be told, not many hippies had cared about learning the proper safety procedures. They had been far too busy munching on kale and smoking mysterious substances to bother with any of that, but, perhaps somewhat surprisingly, even though the vessel was filled with people neither skilled in operating the military vessel, nor always in control of their actions, accidents had not occurred. The older hippies, who had been hippies for a longer time, stood there unable to do anything. The more recent hippies, who had spent more of their lives in the non-hippie world, stepped up to the plate. A couple of them had experience with rescue at sea, and they sprang into action. While the ship was never going to perform the Anderson Manoeuvre, a rescue boat was deployed. It wasn't long before the sprawled woman was laid out on the deck.

"She'll get a shock when she wakes up." Leticia thought.

"Thank you Leticia and hello to everyone listening. I am so glad you could tune in and I wish you happy festivities. You may know me from my campaign to reintroduce monarchy to Mzeusia but these days I have decided to settle down a little. For the time being, me and my crew are lodging with these marvellous, world-famous hippies, but I will shortly be making land and will join you. For now, though, I just want to let you know that I wish you all the best. So, from me. Stay green, stay jolly, stay well. Have a good night."