The Daily Demochronikle: 3rd Issue

The Daily Demochronikle
Written: December 22, 2019
Author: Union of Dimonian Socialist Republics
Edited 5:08 PM, December 22, 2019

*Whimpers* It's Too Big

Last night I sat in my epic gamer chair doused in gasoline, eyes glazed, staring at the regional Discord with a dead expression on my face. When I set out to make a daily version of The Demochronikle, I did not expect to write more than perhaps two paragraphs worth of news accompanied by a Gremblo skit and perhaps a quote or two. However, I, the greatest fool of them all, forgot that Letskia was running in this election. I watched with glee as he wrote two massive paragraphs in the Discord, knowing this kind of quality in campaigning would surely improve every other candidates' outlook on how to present their platforms... but then Letskia wrote two more paragraphs... and then another set... some say he is still writing to this day. I was also right in my prediction that the other candidates would refine their platforms... but now... there I sat with a lit match in my left hand wondering if a platform could be too refined. Thankfully, the lovely Alayka took pity on me as he saw my hair turn gray in real time. Though I would love to cut corners and not show every candidates' platform, I find myself to be too much of a masochist to do such a thing. I blew out the match, did some research at 2:00am on how costly it would be to potentially relocate to a secluded commune in Chongqing rather than work on this, then went to bed knowing full well I would post the full platform of every candidate currently running in this election. Some of you may think I copy and paste these platforms, but I do not have discord on desktop, so I decide to rewrite everything rather than figure out desktop discord. Please... I hope you enjoy this... you sick fu-

The litzelands's Updated Platform

"I have served in many different fields, and running Roleplays (while I'm not the greatest at) is one thing I've done, and I can say for certain that a Discord-based Roleplay is not a bad idea. Many people, including most of the candidates, want it. One concern is that it encourages short writing and worsens the quality of writing, but really, a forum-based Roleplay does nothing to improve it. While it is true Discord caps the word limit at 2,000, this is not a problem since you can post multiple posts. Next, Discord does not worsen writing and Forums don't improve it, there is no proof of such. If someone wants to write well, they will, and if they don't, they won't. Forums can be just as bad. Yet again, while people do tend to write longer on forums, this stagnates activity, because some people lack the time to write such long posts nor do they want to put forth the effort. The ability to write a quick little description of a rifle or city will eventually build into a fully-fledged background of a nation. Finally, Discord-based Roleplays are a lot easier for our citizens already on Discord to get involved in, as the server is in a place they already frequent, and they don't need to go to another site. While some of these affect some more than others, most, if not all of them, apply.
I staunchly support New Karelograd and Califaria's ideas to host "Game Nights", which I think if I am to win this election, should absolutely follow through to fruition.

Back to the Roleplay, I do like the idea of a hybrid for smaller-scale events on Discord and larger events on the Forum, and perhaps, if the so-called "Trial Run" of a purely Discord-based Roleplay doesn't work, a hybrid system will be tried next (which from polling data in October, is what the technical majority of people want).

Now, this might not be in the Ministry of Internal Affairs purview, but I don't think Council positions should rotate nor do I think Councilors should do any odd job. While I do think Councilors should help each other and support is important, we elect people to do the job(s) we elect them for, and if not, what is the point of having "Ministries" or election campaigns for them that are based off that Ministry's "Purpose?" If we rotate positions and do any job, then why do we run on the platforms of the Ministries and not just the government as a whole? In some strange way, having set-in-stone jobs and tasks is more democratic. Think about it; you get what you vote for and they do what you vote them into office to do.

I was told that Ministerial Titles were purely for egotistical purposes by a Council member, but I'm sure this was all in a comedic sense, so it should be taken lightly"

New Karelograd's Updated Platform

"So, what you may be asking is, 'Well NK, what are you gonna do about activity?'
So, as you can see I am the DJ of the region. I asked to become this so I could help boost activity in the region. This is my first attempt at increasing regional activity.
I had some ideas as well moving forward.
For example, we host a "game night"(or day if you're named cand). Where we play certain games. For example, Minecraft, Roblox, Fortnite, Jackbox, or something else along those lines.
Another idea was the Demochronikle being rebooted by the somebody, but the founder rejoined and brought it back on his own.
Now, I believe another thing we must account for is council member activity. Certain council members have been less active recently, and in some cases unexcused. My theory is that somehow, them not being active is bringing the whole regional activity down. So, if I am elected, I will put place a series of rules for inactivity. If you are unexcused and inactive for 3 weeks, you will be stripped of your council role and a new person will be elected to your spot.
If you are excused, then that is perfectly fine"

Alayka's Shortened Platform

"Basically I want to boost activity on the room board because when I joined in August it was a whole bunch of activity but now it would truly a ghost town and I feel like the wfe needs a refresh home like the daily newspaper announcements any gremb files and our anthem and some of the most notable dispatches and I believe Discord could be a great way to boost the role play because it's a lot more easier to type on Discord then it is typing on a huge form even though you got a letter limit you can still put a lot of stuff in the 7000 letter limit"

Letskia's Full Platform

"I'll skip the flavour text and cut to the chase, I have several reforms that I'd like to pursue if I win this election, and if I obtain a mandate to carry out these reforms by winning the election I'll make sure these channels are kept open so the populace could use them for reference and to hold my feet to the fire if they feel I'm neglecting my duties. That being said, I would like to preface this platform with a moment of appreciation for the people who make our region a genuinely fun community to hang out in. To quote our newest member at the time of the writing of this platform, Fierma: 'I do love this region for that reason.' The region wouldn't be in the state it currently is without the confidence and support of the foundation; the people.

Moving on, I want to hold true to my principles and deviate from the other candidates in this election in a way that may seem controversial at first glance; I believe the region does not need a legislative branch. To be specific, I don't think that a separate legislative chamber is a necessary aspect of the region given the current format of democracy in the Council. Each Council position will be up for election every month, rotating from one Councillor to another until the cycle repeats. A legislative branch in this circumstance is simply a redundancy, considering that the Council will, within 6 months time, be composed purely of elected positions, save for the Founder. In addition to the frequency of referendums, and some of my planned reforms that will further ingratiate the frequency and accessibility of referendums, a legislative branch has become an obsolete concept in our region's current form of government.

A good place to start would be the reforms I have planned for making referendums more accessible by the public at large. Frankly, the Council is not always available to run polls and gauge the public's opinion on any given policy issue. To address this I'd like to institute public referendums; an institution that will allow for citizens to personally start their own grassroots referendums and whip public support for a policy issue they'd like to lobby to the Council.

Kind of like the suggestions channel we had a while ago, but more focused on the citizenry as opposed to the Council.
The channel would allow for a citizen, if they have an idea for a policy that they'd like to bring to the attention of the Council with concrete support, thus compelling the Council to carry out that policy, to write up their own referendums and allow for people to vote on the policy issue they proposed.

This resembles the legislative branch but more focused on direct democracy and inclusion of all members of the region as opposed to a few elected representatives.

As for the roleplay, there is nobody more dedicated to developing the region's roleplay than myself. I can even attach a dollar value to that dedication: $10 a month to keep the website functioning. If a Discord roleplay is what the people want, I'm willing to cut my losses and dabble in what a well-oiled Discord roleplay might look like. In this case, I do believe that my fellow candidate Litz has a healthy track record to entrust such a task to him. That is why I'd like to expand the flexibility of the Council's structure by creating a system of aides, secretaries, and small-time bureaucrats so that elected Councillors can harness the talents found amongst the populace even if those individuals aren't elected. I can recognize my own shortcomings and roleplay is one of them. But I think that if I am re-elected I can put the resources that can make an active roleplay to good use.

This system doesn't have to be complicated. I'd like to see the Job Listings get revitalized and perhaps included in your daily DC (Demochronikle) feed so that citizens can always see if there are any interesting career opportunities available on the postings.
I've always had a keen eye for talent throughout my time as an officer of this region. I recommended Oliver (Akarea for those not in the know) within the first day of his arrival in the region. I think it's fair to say that that was one of the best decisions I could've made at the time.

The same goes for Edofasia, who has proven an invaluable asset on safeguarding the region from exterior and interior threats.
I'd like to see this potential expanded upon and individuals among the citizens who have something to offer to the region to have an opportunity to express that and put their skills to good use.

I'd also like to see the region become less centralized around the Discord server. We need to present an active and healthy region on the NS front to newcomers, not just on Discord. To begin with, regularly posting on the RMB is something I've committed myself to. I can personally recall, back before TDK's time, joining a new region and seeing that the latest RMB post was from 3 days ago. There's nothing quite so discouraging than a dead RMB.

The World Factbook Entry is in serious need of an overhaul, as our dearest Founder has stated himself multiple times. It needs to reflect the current climate of the region more accurately with a dedicated section linking to the latest DC issue, perhaps a dispatch with an outline of when future elections will be held and if there are any current ones, the status of that election (such as the current candidates and a concise platform summary), and other miscellaneous tidbits of news that reflect what's hot at any given time.

I'd also like to revisit a criminally underappreciated system that the Founder came up with called the settler program. The region currently is on an uptick; the member count is growing and we're getting fascinating new faces. But let's face it; the API is dreadfully slow. We need to expand our horizons if we're to avoid the dreaded boom-bust cycle of growth. Essentially, TDK would send "missionaries", if you will, to convert the denizens of other primitive communities from other websites or games to our superior way of li-I mean, our community. For instance, say we find someone in the server that habitually plays Roblox. We could, say, entrust this individual with a bit of light advertising and perhaps even founding a group to serve as a proxy through which people would eventually join the region on NationStates"

Note: The settler program is not member poaching from other regions, it refers to creating new regional accounts on other websites or online games for public use. An example would be to play World of Warcraft and establish a guild. Anyone who joins the guild would be referred to to Discord and through diffusion would be introduced to NationStates, increasing the rate at which new members are recruited to the region. It should also be said that Letskia's "primitive communities" statement should only be taken as a joke, he explained this last night when someone misunderstood and took offense to his comments

"That and, well, I could spare $5 a month on telegram stamps to kickstart recruitment.
Yes, I'm willing to spend money on the Democratika because damn it this region means a lot to me. And that extends to every Democratikan that resides in it.

Finally, I'd like to touch on one last topic for the day before I get some much needed rest after work (seriously it's the holiday season and that's the busiest time of the year, the line to checkout your groceries stretched from the front of the store all the way to the back), and that's one glaring problem with the current electoral system.

On the current track we're looking at a single Councillor having a term of six months without having to return to the electorate and obtain a mandate for their continued service. I think that a solution to this issue is something we can put #public-relations to good use.

Something like a Q&A period for any given Councillor to keep them on edge and gauge their intentions for the remainder of their term until they have to face the electorate once again.

Questions can be fielded from members of the citizenry and the Councillor in question would answer them in earnest. Speaking of which, I'll be taking questions in #political-campaigns regarding anything above..."

Note: the last part of the quote was redacted since Letskia stated he would only be fielding questions for the next hour. He is currently on a tight work schedule, so any questions to the candidates should be directed to #political-campaigns on the Discord, pinging them personally on the RMB, or telegramming them, thank you.

Old Man in The Closet: a Gremblo Story

I woke up with a fright when I heard a bump in the night. What could that have been? I thought, clutching my Princess Leia bikini Ted Cruz body pillow. I looked every which way including forward, but I could not see anything. Perhaps if I were to open my eyes... yes, that had done the trick, and I saw an ominous black figure standing in my door's archway. Its slender fingers and calves, moreover general slender figure shaped like a man in a suit, had my mind go wild with potential theories as to who this could have been. Thankfully, I saw a belt in its hand alerting me to this figure being my father.

"Son" my father bellowed, "I must do the taxes now"

This frightened me, as a well off citizen in the top 1% just the thought of paying my taxes chilled me to the bone. "Father no!" I squeaked,"clearly the unemployed are not pulling their weight, you cannot give in!"

"It is too late my sonny son" he echoed with girth, "a progressive tax bracket is necessary for a nation's well being"

At this point the hairs on my second chinny chin chin had stood up like red rockets. A called out "help!" and then my closet shook ever so viciously. Its hinges flew every which way and the door shot threw my window. My senior guardian angel, senile citizen, wrinkled wonder by the name of Bushrod Jones stomped out in his bare skinned, manscaping fashion to protect me from the red menace which possessed my father. He gave him a good, meaty slap on the brain instantly halting all organ activity. It was over, and I had Bushrod to thank for it. He slid over to the side of my bed, half mast.

"I... will always be here for you... my lovely spiritual grandson..." he whimpered, now at full mast. Then, quick as he came, he suckled on my teeth assuredly, and ran out the door, leaving it open. I will never forget him... or forgive him for the death of my father.

The Quotes

Akarea wrote:

I live on a barge that is constantly driving up niagara falls. the motor at full pelt keeps it stationary in the torrential current. if the boat ever stops running i will fall off niagara falls and die. every day i have to use a drone to collect boat petrol from the land. i fish for boots and vegetables off of my barge. every day the israeli military violates human rights and Palestinian right to land. i live in perpetual fear of the day my barge engine breaks and i fall and drown

Candanadium wrote:

Oh I'm sorry snowflake, did i OFFEND you? Do you want a bandaid? Do you want a hug? Do you want a kiss? I will kiss you. I will do it. Right on the mouth. Come here snowflake.. that's it.. your lip are so soft, snowflake.. mnnhm... ah...... snowflake..........

Fun Fact of the Day

In Uganda, 48% of the population is under 15 years of age, which is still too old for Letskia