by Max Barry

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DispatchAccountDrama

by The Honoratus Alneus Dominatus of Lerasi. . 37 reads.

Response to "Laws of Rage Mage"

OOC: Some of these laws were made as a joke. Mostly to see the response from Lerasi in his dispatch here: page=dispatch/id=1278811
IC wise we are kinda Frenemies. (So far). So I’m just making my IC passive aggressive. If you want to talk to me about a problem you have with what i say here. TG or ping me and I will try to explain it.

1. All the laws in your Basic Rules Handbook apply

2. Participating in Ranganian protests

3. Harming refugees, immigrants, or any non-native Ragean citizens with the intent of removing the “un-pure” from the country.

4. Destruction, damaging, or defacing of government, public, or private property belonging to another.

5. No degrading other countries for being less fortunate. (Unless they are our enemy)

6. Police officers found abusing their authority will be prosecuted.

7. The government reserves the right to access any ones computer systems if it is a matter of national security.

8. Any sexual offenses will result in execution

9. No attempting to bribe officals. If caught. You will be sent to The Waaa and told that they are a former citizen. You know what Waluigi dose to those who fail.

10. Kampf bath water is illegal.

11. No using social media/direct message/texting/forum platform to degrade/deface/humiliate/insult/bully anyone with the intent of lowering ones self esteem or forcing them to commit acts of self harm.

12. Bullying of any nature will not be tolerated.

13. Medieval Battle armor is not allowed to be worn in public.

14. Any weapons you carry must be registered to the Ragean gun database.

15. You must be a part of the Ragean defense force if you are not part of the Ragean workforce or in charge of your home and family.

16. Not participating in military training sessions is unacceptable.

17. Not training your children in small arms combat when they reach the age of 7.

18. You must complete the Valsorian hand to hand combat course.

19. Cthulhu worshippers....you got an entire country dedicated to that.

20. All Lerasian collect calls must be collected in Lerasi.

21. Praising Rangan will mean immediate detainment

22. Using Ragean tech to harm other nations or people’s is not allowed, you will be punished severely.

23. The water combat course must be completed when you turn 13.

24. Obesity is not allowed.

25. Shaming of the poor is unacceptable.

26. Slavery is outlawed

27. Child labor in factories is outlawed

28. Training children in firearms must be done with blanks, rubber bullets, or guns that electronically transmit a shot to a screen to show accuracy yet posses the recoil standard to the firearm.

29. Children are not allowed to be trained in automatic weaponry.

30. Automatic Weaponry training can only be achieved through military training at age 16

31. Do not overwork yourselves. An injured patriot trying to improve our output in the workforce or on the battle field only slows down the process of strengthening our power.

32. The Angel of Charity erotic materials are declared a crime against humanity. Anyone found with Charitain erotica in their possession will be castrated or sterilized.

33. No raging in public.

34. Selling government secrets is a capital offense.

35. Greater Felter. Sit. Stay. Good!

36. Do not accept anything from strange purple men, squids, men in green robes, or angry germanic people in battle armor.

37. If a Lerasian backs up their argument by saying “that’s a fact”. They are to be considered an enemy of state.
(OOC: An example of a joke law)

38. Any Lerasian found shouting about drama over in Nonsico will be detained. We don’t want your problems.

39. Anyone attempting to rally forces for a foreign war not concerning Rage Mage in our borders, with out the consent of the government, will detained and tried as a terrorist

40. Any unsanctioned act of violence or war against another nation will result in you being tried for treason, however, if a worse punishment is available in the country harmed, offenders will be extradited to that nation for proper punishment.

41. Extradition of offenders only applies to those who don’t have knowledge of Ragean defenses or systems

42. Taco Tuesday is only allowed on one Tuesday a month.

43. No using the music software to make chemical,nuclear,thermonuclear, or any WMDs.

44. No making WMDs without explicit government permission and strict oversight.

45. No chucking things into the portal without contacting the Foundation first.

46. E-Sports are sports

47. Texas doesn't exist. I don’t know why people are so scared of....

47. Mentioning the place that starts with T in any degrading manner will get you shipped to Lerasi in a box. They can deal with the lunatic that comes after you.

48. Volinovia is exempt from the no battle armor rule.

49. All waste shall be sent to Lerasi The Waaa.

50. Any attempts to harm the delegates from Arienh will met with extreme prejudice.

51. Sacrifices are not allowed

52. Phoenix hunting is outlawed

53. While tasty, Florida-Gator-K meat is not allowed in our borders.

54. East Pacific Principal has no authority here.

55. All civilian boats must be ready for immediate combat deployment. Look at the Ragean Civil Navy Hanbook for more details

56. Religious squabbling is beneath us.

57. As long as an outside religion is not causing harm to the Ragean population or harming the effectiveness of the government. They can stay. Otherwise, they will be asked to leave. By force if nessasary.

58. Anyone defaming another person for being of another faith will be punished. We support the peaceful coexistence of all religions here in Rage Mage.

59. Recruitment by foreign faiths to gain manpower to fight a foreign war is prohibited.

60. Dabbing is no longer allowed. It is officially declared dead.

61. Crimes committed by Cultists on our soil will be prosecuted in a Ragean court

62. You must attend Paratroop school after completing the Infantry course

63. Harassing visiting delegates or ambassadors is frowned upon. Depending on the severity. You may be given to the country harmed for trial.

64. Extradition cannot be done by foreign powers without a warrant exceeding class level 3

Read factbook


In response to this list of laws by Rage Mage, I have decided to speak my mind!

This is my response to the "Laws of Rage Mage".

1. I never got a handbook.

2. I, too, hate freedom of speech.

3. Terrorists must love that.

4. Terrorists must hate that.

5. Question: My country was degraded for being indignant and generally made up of assholes. Does that count?

6. Some...adult films just became boring.

7. *rushes to erase search history*

8. Harsh, but fair.

9. *slides you a tenner* Maybe we could change this law.

10. Thank fvck.

11. Does this include annoying Alger?

12. See eleven.

13. FVCKING HELL MAN! YOU JUST RUINED MY WHOLE FVCKING AESTHETIC!

14. I'm sure American school children everywhere are disappointed.

15. *fearful* So what do you do with the unproductive ones?

16. Even if you're part of the workforce?

17. WHAT. THE. FVCK.

18. Is this a worldwide thing? Because I didn't get the memo.

19. Unfortunately.

20. Can I also collect taxes?

21. I, too, hate freedom of religion.

22. Time to become an enemy of the people. They can't do jack squat about it.

23. wut

24. Breaking News: My 600 pound life has been cancelled due to the shocking disappearances of everyone that was on the show. Fatties are forced to get fit by running from the police, and terror strikes the hearts of any and every McDonald's lover.

25. *makes it rain on those buggers* It feels good to be bad.

26. TDS: (o.o ) ( o.o)

27. How else am I gonna get cheap labor? *eyes up the immigrants*

28. Was that not a rule before? *sweats profusely*

29. Gee I wonder why. *rereads my earlier comment on American school children*

30. Oh.

31. Kid: *does dumb shˇt and hurts self*
Police: STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!

32. Thank God, Satan, and every other powerful entity that I both prayed to and sold my soul to, with highlights such as Pennywise the Dancing Clown, John Mulaney, and the Hindu god Ganesh.

33. Mild concealed anger mage.

34. *slowly moves my mouse away from the send button on the email I've composed listing all of the Ragean government secrets* Damnit.

35. See 32.

36. Well there goes my plans for the weekend.

37. I have never used that phrase in my life. And that's a fact.

38. Listen here, you little shi—

39. Mercenaries hate this one trick.

40. See 39. These two are basically the same.

41. So if you know about your defenses you can't be extradited? That would make some countries very upset.

42. This is an OUTRAGE.

43. What the fvcking hell?

44. WAS THAT NOT A RULE BEFORE?!?!

45. *intense grumbling*

46. I disagree.

47. Indeed. Hail Satan and fvck Texas.

47. Yay! New toys!

48. OH COME ON!

49. Listen here you little shi— Those fanatics deserve everything coming to them.

50. That's RACIST.

51. See 36.

52. *puts my fork down in surprise as the dead phoenix I was eating explodes into fire and is reborn, before hearing a knock on my door and a "Ragean Police! Open up!"*

53. You seem to imply that it is possible to eat a Florida Gator K without it eating you.

54. Yaaaaaaaaaasssssssssss.

55. See 3.

56. Same dude. High five.

57. Does this apply to gods, too? Because how can you forcefully make a god leave?

58. This contradicts 21.

59. Jihadists sigh in defeat throughout Rage Mage.

60. See 32.

61. So like everyone then? Is there a difference?

62. Why?

63. I'm glad mild harassment is allowed. Sometimes you just need to rough em up a bit, eh?

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