by Max Barry

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by The Impeccably Arranged Snark of The West Pacific Master Dispatch. . 329 reads.

The West Pacifican - November 2019

All your chocolate belongs to Darkesia


Delegate transition: Our beloved Dragon Emperor is stepping down, and has named Bran Astor as his heir! Please endorse Bran to make the transition as smooth as possible.

Elections: TWP’s regional elections are coming up soon! Be sure to Linkapply for citizenship and head to the Linkforums to nominate, discuss, and vote!

Ask Dilber

As many of you saw, The West Pacifican has decided to start up an advice column under the auspices of the Minister of Education. What most of you didn’t realize, was that your questions would be answered by something far more important. As you all know, the West Pacific is a region that recognizes in the supremacy of the Delegacy. What you might not know is that the West was once famed for it’s Democracy. Before I was Minister of Education, I wore another hat.

Your questions are about to be answered By Dilber, The Last Legitimate Prime Minister of the West Pacific under the Second Constitutional Convention, and current head of the “Government-in-exile-in-Residence”, as recognized by absolutely no one.

Dear Dilber,
A friend of mine just had several of close associates just planned and attempted a coup in a very large region that failed quickly. As a result my friend and several associates have been proscribed from various regions. My question for you advice guru is two-fold: how does my friend repair their image in NS to be able to join and participate in large regional government? More importantly how does my friend repair their image as an a masterful subversive?

Just asking for a friend,
Rahllie Couper

Rahllie, I think it’s important that we start off with a statement that is near and dear to everyone in The West Pacific: “Rahllie, don’t be a dick.”

Now, with that said, I do have some advice for your friends. First and foremost, the most important step is to IMMEDIATELY declare themselves to be the government-in-exile of said large region. Now, it is no longer a failed coup, and is instead merely a “disagreement in vote counting”. As the last legitimate Prime Minister of The West Pacific, and current holder of the longest Government-in-Exile, I will immediately recognize them as the one true Government-in-Exile, and that’s one feeder down. Also, if you declare yourself to be the large regional government, you are automatically participating in it! I’m pretty sure no one has ever thought of this before, and is therefore foolproof.

I will say, however, that it’s much harder to become known as a masterful subversive once you have failed immediately. Now, there are two methods to fix this. First off, wait 15 years and declare it. Bam, no one remembers what happened 15 years ago. By the time 2034 rolls around, they’ll be good to go. IF they want a faster path, however, there is another path that can be taken. It’s a bit of a riddle, but I’ll leave it for you to figure out: “Coup Lazarus”.

West Pacific Disclaimer: Do Not Coup Lazarus

I hope all of this helps, and your friend is able to form a wonderful family again that’s not involved in anything.

Dear Dilber,
Where do baby nations come from? O.O

Now this is an excellent question. When a mommy and a daddy nation fall in love and want to promote a book about the dangers of capitalism, sometimes a new baby nation is created. Now some might have you believe that in the past baby nations were created out of spite for some sort of entity named “Jolt”, I believe that Violet helps new nations be created. Also, she really likes destroying them so watch out for that in a month or so.

P.S. The teenage years involved new nations coming from something called “Nationstates 2”, but that’s the family secret that no one talks about.

Dear Dilber,
Why is the sun and sky suddenly red. My friends sent me distorted voice mails to touch it, but I'm not so sure about it. What do you think?

Dear Definitely a Zombie,
I apologize for taking so long to get back to you. I believe that you were probably fixed a couple of days ago, and if not, you probably aren’t listening to this. The Wet Pacific Cure Bureau is here for you, and if you continue to have these “thoughts” about touching the sky, we recommend coming back in approximately 363 days for another dose of medicine.

For those of you that I didn’t answer, I am keeping a bank, and will potentially answer last time. Please keep submitting questions, and remember, “The West Pacific is the Best Pacific”.

November Sudoku

Delegate’s Discourse
The Final Discourse

The time has come for me to step down from The Delegacy of The West Pacific. By sometime in the second week of November, my successor, Bran Astor, will take my place on The Dragon Throne. It has been an amazing experience … a huge amount of work, but also enormously enjoyable. I sought to serve my favorite region in the best way I could and I think my tenure has been pretty successful. This is largely due to the talent, efforts and enthusiasm of several terrific citizens of TWP. They have my love and gratitude and deserve to be recognized.

First, my Heir Apparent, Bran Astor … wow. Your skill in transforming your gifted imagination into events, images, publications and programs has been the backbone of our renaissance. I would have been hard put to lead without your guidance and friendship. Now that you have also learned to delegate, :-P you will be a legendary leader of our region.

Arkadia Universalis and Kawaii Schoolgirl, you were with me from the beginning. You are fiercely loyal, yet always speak your minds. Despite complicated real lives, you have given so much of your time and talents to improving The West Pacific. I was so lucky to have had you serve in my Cabinet. I will be shocked if each of you isn’t a GCR delegate in the future.

Dalimbar, you have brought enormous experience … and much appreciated humor … to my team. You have been a GCR delegate on more than one occasion and could easily just sit back and snark about NS events. Instead, you chose to help a noobie delegate find his way.

Our wonderful region isn’t the way it is by chance. It is the product of people who are willing to work. Omnipresent and always friendly Overthinkers, funny and hard-working Rizorien, thoughtful Denieria, welcoming Alchera, steadfast Nrevyw, and TWPer-for-life Dilber … all of the Cabinet … deserves my gratitude and the gratitude of The West Pacific.

It is said that The West Pacific is the most secure of the GCRs. This too is no accident. We are indebted to our Guardians for their vigilance. In addition to those Guardians I have already mentioned, I would like to offer my thanks to Darkesia, Mediobogdum and Yy4u. These three have a long history of service to our region and their advice and friendship have been a great support.

Finally, THANK YOU … the residents of The West Pacific! You are funny, smart, creative and kind. YOU are the reason why we are the BEST Pacific. I hope I have served you well as your Delegate and Dragon-Emperor and promise to continue to work for you for as long as I am in NS.

Zeds & Deads: Z-Day 8

Gooood morning TWP! You may have noticed the piles of almost 2 trillion corpses littering the region a couple days ago, but we’d like to remind you not to panic, as this is entirely normal. Last Wednesday, the dead rose from their graves to attack the region’s poor defenseless citizens, just as they do this time every year by the will of Max.

This Z-Day got off to a slow start after research speeds were greatly slowed. Some speculate it was a lack of coffee, others that it was a faulty wire in a server somewhere, but we may never know the whole truth. Once a cure was discovered, more nations than can be counted joined forces to fire the least destructive missiles ever invented on targets across the region. Many nations stepped into leadership positions in the fine tradition of West Pacifican meritocracy. In recognition of incredible participation across the region, all nations who participated were awarded the Z-Day8 Challenge Coin. Many others who displayed exceptional service received further awards, which can be viewed here.

As a region, TWP had one of its best performances of all time! We finished with the 2nd most survivors of any region, with the lowest infection rate of any GCR at 5.1%, and the fewest dead of any GCR. While TNP had nearly twice as many survivors, we at the West Pacifican consider this Z-Day to be a complete win for TWP (especially considering we didn’t require technological assistance or augment our survivor population with additional nations). If anyone wants to see more detailed stats from the event, you can visit the official tally or the GCR final numbers.

Stats at a glance:

  • #2 Most Survivors

  • #54 Most Infected - next best GCR #17

  • #15 Most Dead - next best GCR #9

  • 5.1% Infected - lowest of all GCRs

Two Z-Days ago, the West Pacifican published an article by Pergamon, a Senator of The Pacific. He said this in regards to Z-Day in feeders:

"A competitive mindset during such an event as Z-day is of no use for a Feeder and rather belongs in an User Created Region in which every single member actually strives for the same goal [...] As such, I think the best option for any Feeder is to declare such an event free-for-all [...] because after this year's Z-day (ignoring all the complaints, whines, and bad blood over the ejection of nations that went against the regional agenda) the Region, the Feeder itself, still didn't do any better - or, well - it was completely pointless."

In anything can be said of this Z-Day, it is that TWP's performance has thoroughly proven that GCRs can be the most successful regions, and that is in no small part due to the unique and vibrant meritocratic culture of The West Pacific.

On The Waves: Live from Stoney Lonesome

LFST is made possible by Today in the West, The West Pacific, and Residents Like You. Thank you!

Live from Stoney Lonesome is an hour-long concert series inspired by Austin City Limits, Minnesota Public Radio's Live From Here and the several hours of cultural chat with Badger these past few years. Several personalities in TWP and all across NationStates were asked to put together a collection of songs that either highlighted a type of music important in their lives, or a favored artists.

SEASON 1LinkEpisode 1: Big Bad Badger, • LinkEpisode 2: Elegarth, • LinkEpisode 3: Yy4u and Xoriet, • LinkThe Nuclear Special, • LinkEpisode 4: Luna State and Bran Astor

TWP Brings Home Hardware From Winter Games

More than two weeks ago, thousands of athletes from around the multiverse gathered for the opening ceremonies of the 14th Winter Olympics, and today they gather once more for their closing. The games were hosted by the cities of Yeaddin and Neverend in Vilita and Liventia over the past sixteen days, with 325 medals being awarded. These Olympics were also the first after OCTWPUS was founded. OCTWPUS (Olympic Council of The West Pacific Union of Sports) is the governing body of Olympic Sport in The West Pacific—all nations in the region may become members if they so desire by joining the LinkRP Discord server.

The West Pacific was well represented by the nations of Tara and cambray (Bran Astor), Recuecn, the Gryphonian Alliance, and Fujai. At the time of this writing, a whopping 20 medals had been awarded to these four nations, representing nearly 10 percent of all medals won. With all those medals and too many top 10 finishes to count, TWP was one of the best performing regions at the games.

The highest profile medal came just yesterday from the Reçueçian Women’s Hockey Team, who won gold in their match against Amuaplye! The match was attended by thousands, including many fans all the way from TWP. Tara and Cambray made an impressive showing with more top 10 finishes than any other TWP nation, including three medals in biathlon, skeleton, and freestyle skiing. Fujai won the reindeer’s share of TWP’s medals, mostly in their national sport of ski jumping. The Fujar dominated the ski jumping competitions and won nearly a quarter of all medals and a third of the golds awarded in them. The Gryphonian Alliance also made headlines with their star bobsleigh duo, Issa Montgomivil and Trip Virtosonne, who recovered from a crash in practice early in the games to win the bronze medal!

We at the West Pacifican can’t wait to see how the region performs at the upcoming Summer Olympics!

The West Pacific Medal Count (as of 2 November)






Medal events






Ski Jumping, Nordic Combined, Biathlon, Cross-Country Skiing






Alpine Skiing, Cross-Country Skiing, Ice Hockey

Tara and cambray (Bran Astor)





Biathlon, Skeleton, Freestyle Skiing

Gryphonian Alliance






In other sports news, the Reçueçian National Football Team recently won the 8th installment of the Independents’ Cup!! Two other West Pacifican nations, Fujai and the Squornshelan Remnant States also competed in the competition. Further, the 84th World Cup is coming up soon, and Tara and cambray (Bran Astor), the Squornshelan Remnant States, Recuecn, and Fujai are competing! There’s still time to sign up here if you’re interested!

Youxia Rankings for Oct 19-Nov 2: 1. Meow-meow-mia (new), 2. Liberillia (-), 3. Fujai (-2), 4. Giovanniland (new), 5. Westwind (-1), 6. Wickedly evil people (-3), 7. Recuecn (+9), 8. Sensorland (-1), 9. Varanius (new), 10. Papercuts and Skittles (-5), 11. Bhang Bhang Duc (+1), 12. Cro Magnon (-4), 13. Gryphonian Alliance (-4), 14. Oometz (-4), 15. The Undivided (-4), 16. Denieria (-2), 17. Ilmecith (-2), 18. Shaqolandia (-5), 19. Doggerstan (-2), 20. DiscGolfLand (-1), 21. Ferroia (-3)

Lost Youxia ranking: Shaktirajya, Kittenlicious