Learning about the events that occurred on Monday left me without words and in shock. I still feel as if I am in a never-ending nightmare waking to realize every morning that itís no nightmare. My family her friends we are all hurting. We are all missing my dear aunt who left two children two grandchildren and one grandchild on the way. Knowing that she wonít see them grow up knowing that her childrenís grandchildren wonít have a grandmother not hearing her voice or feeling her touch itís very hard to ponder. We are left with the amazing beautiful memories but we will always be missing her vibrant loving personality which can never be replaced.
I personally have had struggles with depression and suicide in the past and I struggled for a long time to realize that pain is temporary and that anger is blinding. I donít know what everyoneís going through I do know though it is just a bump in the road, and even though it seems like that pain will always be there, it wonít pain is temporary. For a lot of us, we get angry, so angry that we are blinded by the bigger picture we donít think about anything other then what is infuriating us. Anger can easily lead down a path of self-destruction.
My aunt was going through a divorce she was angry, she was blinded. She didnít think about her children or her grandchildren or her nieces, nephews or cousins she didnít think about her family instead, she was so angry so blinded by the divorce thatís all she was thinking in her final moments. Instead of a note to her family, it was a note to her ex-husband, instead of dying with someone she died angry and alone.
If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide I donít know what you're going through what your situation is, but if you are depressed and your thinking about it then please tell someone, anyone. Please donít make the same mistake my aunt did. I am in pain, it hurts a lot to lose a family member and life goes on but it doesnít make it any easier without my aunt in my life. Think about your friends think about your family and speak up if youíre feeling this way. Tell a friend tell someone close to you and if you donít have anyone then there are plenty of other resources including me. Please donít put your friends and family through this pain.
On August 31 instead of celebrating my aunt's birthday I will be remembering her. Instead of her grandchildren being spoiled and loved by there grandma theyíll be told stories about her beautiful loving personality. I wish this was a nightmare I wish I could wake up and this was all just a terrible nightmare. This is reality though, suicide is an epidemic. People are taking there lives every day. Good people are taking there lives everyday.
The modern world has clean water, food and much more than some other 3rd world countries in which they have no food or clean water and they would rather starve to death than kill themselves. There is a serious problem in our society, an issue that is being brushed aside too often and it is suicide.
If your thinking about suicide please feel free to telegram me and there are other resources below as well.
National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Online Chat: Lifeline Chat