by Max Barry

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by The People's United Nations of The United Princedom. . 1 reads.

DHS Regulations

1) All machinated voices must be tested to sound appropriately intimate and "human."
2) All restroom doors must open outwards, using either a kick or shove mechanism, rather than hands.
3) All sinks meant for hand washing must be automatic.
4) All buildings must be accessible to disabled persons.
5) Hands must be washed when finishing restroom use.
6) Hand sanitizer is an acceptable replacement for all hand washing, but actual hand washing is preferable.