by Max Barry

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by Strahcoin. . 15 reads.

STRAH NEWS Article 002: Strahcoin Defeats Extraterrestrial Invaders

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Strahcoin Defeats Extraterrestrial Invaders

The extraterrestrial invaders, who were causing disorder in some parts of Strahcoin, were finally repelled after the Strahconian leader deployed 2,000 more laser fighters. The leader says that the nation "shall stand strongly against all enemies, without and within", and that to continue protecting the nation, "a Space Force, like that of the United States, will be very useful."
According to witnesses, including Interplanetary Relations Secretary Gohn Jalt, the extraterrestrials were trying to spread socialist propaganda and destroy small businesses, seemingly paid by those of the Political Correctness Party. "I saw them," Jalt stated. "They told the aliens to bring our economy to ruin."
A suspect from the party has been arrested and interrogated. The suspect, who was frequently arrested for assaulting entrepreneurs and business owners without reason, embraced the allegations, claiming that "all capitalism must be destroyed at any cost."
The Welfare and Pacifist Parties denied any association with the incident. No evidence has been found connecting them to the attack. The leader has supported them, saying: "I think [the Welfare and Pacifist Parties] have bad ideas for policies, but they would never risk colluding with the enemy or commit treason."