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by The King of All Wild Things. . 157 reads.

Royal Ass Côte 2019


The Third Annual
Royal Ass Côte Races

Tuesday 18th to Saturday 22nd June 2019

Where the Wild Things Are

Maurice Sendup, King of All Wild Things, is proud to host the third annual Royal Ass Côte Races.

Named after the wild donkeys that run free along its diamond sands, the Ass Côte is home to some of Where the Wild Things Are's most spectacular scenery.

Encouraged with carrots, wild donkeys dash across the sands, competing to be crowned ‘Royal Ass of the Year’.

Sponsor a Donkey

Until the 18th June, a limited number of nations may sponsor a donkey on a first-come, first-served basis. The sponsors may choose a name for their donkey, which will be painlessly tattooed on the animal. Want-to-be sponsors should telegram All Wild Things with the name that they would like tattooed on their ass.

Back Up Your Ass

From Tuesday 18th to Saturday 22nd June, all nations are invited to Where the Wild Things Are to cheer for their favourite donkey via our open-to-all poll. The donkey with the most support will be crowned ‘Royal Ass of the Year’.

Players may use puppets to vote for more than one donkey, but it is prohibited to use puppets to vote more than once for the same donkey. Any idiot can stuff a poll using puppets. The challenge here is to convince as many real people as possible to support your donkey.

The sponsor funds raised will go to preserving the pristine Ass Côte for perpetuity as a nature reserve.

Watch the race live here!

Read the 2019 commentary

One hundred and eighty-eight nations supported Royal Ass Côte 2018

Read the 2018 commentary

View the 2018 results.

Ninety-nine nations supported Royal Ass Côte 2017

Watch the 2017 Linkopening ceremony

Read the 2017 commentary

View the 2017 results

Sponsors so far:

Donkey Name


Distance ran (furlongs)

Ass eater






I have a big butt, and I cannot lie



Kim Kardashian



Lazy Ass

Smiley Bob



Elysium Forests



Wolfram Von Richthofen


Short Muffins



so basically im donky



Wild Ass



The King of All Wild Things