This ones hits close to the heart, to unremembered emotions and feelings, to the loses of the past, and the things built since then. Very briefly, my parents started and long, painful, hurtful and cruel separation and later divorce process that spanned from December 31st, 1999 till way into 2004. It was harsh. For me, as the oldest son. For my siblings, younger and less wise than I was. They ran away. My sister, to her friends and boyfriends. My little baby brother, to my aunt (who was like a grandma to him, as our grandma passed away even before he was born).

That let me at home. Most if not all the time. Supporting my mother, without betraying my mother. Trying to stay both neutral, and yet be able to make her feel better. At 16, 17 years old. Quite a task. I didn't went well I guess. I'm mostly a very cynical human being as a result. I don't regret it. But, and here is the thing, when you are going through stuff like this, it is REALLY hard to express it properly. Feelings and emotions at that age are confusing, they drown you... And the song was a way to hear what I felt turned into words...

This is real. This is the raw thing from which experience is made of. This is the fuel that drives a person sometimes, for better or worse. In my case, tho I went through some dark spots, I think it was for good. Yes, I guess, you can say I'm cynical, harsh, cruelly honest and with a tendency towards getting angry easily thanks to all of it. Thanks to songs like this. But I also completely honest about my feelings, have a very mature and healthy relationship where stuff like this can be discussed and properly handled... I learned not to be the parents from this song, thanks to songs like this one that helped me understand how I, and others that went through the same, went.

Was it painful? Yes. Thankfully I had this song.

All text by Elegarth, The Seeker of Power, except the lyrics, owned by their respective Copyright owners. Format by Elegarth. May, 2019.