As some trusty NSers personally know, I have a life or death problem that has been tormenting me for more than 3 years. But I have always struggled forward and with my head held high without repentance of my actions.
Two days ago, I had a slight contact with my problem, and it was not pleasant, but nevertheless everything has been safe. But in spite of this, I am an emotional person and the contact affected me and caused me stress.
Such stress, causes that last night nurse stomach, including vomiting, diarrhea, migraine, cut body, episodes of absence, and mood swings.
I do not know in a conscious way if they have been victims of it, since in my own way of writing I never find error, unless I have been fully aware of it.
Today I received another shocking news, the landlord of my house has just passed away.
He was not just the landlord of the house, he was more than that, he was a friend, a company, a moral support, a religious companion, a help in my depression. And overnight, he left.
Today, after last night, I feel sore from the body, with jobs I can write on the phone or on the PC. With jobs I can have reading comprehension, with jobs I can think. And with this shocking news. I just feel out of it. I feel that God does exist, but I need clarity in his message to help me get out of the well in which the water is filling. Maybe I should let the current flow, so that the thrust will help me out, but my basic instinct tells me that I must keep fighting despite the difficulties.
Today I want to remind you, that NationStates is a game, and that what happens in NationStates, must be taken as a game. Do not allow to transform a game into something personal, because everything in this life is temporary. Do not allow hatred towards others to grow. Do not allow to be angry against a person just because he opposed your wishes one day. Because everyone on this platform has a private life, and everyone, we have our successes and our failures.
We should not project the negative of the real world in our day to day in NationStates, we should not point out that our success in the game is based on real life experiences. It is a game and we should treat it as a game. The errors in a game are solved with the ease that one wants to give or grant.
Do not hold grudges, and do not take personal things.
That said, if in these days I hurt you, I affected you, I insulted you, it was not with intention, maybe it is not enough excuse, but it is what there is.
And that's it, you will see me online,you will see me hesitate or Joke, but with immediate effect I declare myself absent, since my mental health needs to recover from this heavy week.
I have my project, I will be with my project, few have joined voluntarily, and I appreciate it, I will continue to draw my designs, and they will know about me because Discord is my escape from reality.