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by The Crowned Republic of Kabzeel. . 39 reads.

Crowned Republic of Kabzeel



Population: 523,381,000

Capital: Belcross

Official Language: Kabzeelian, English, German, Russian, Arabic

Demonym: Kabzeelian

Government: Socialist Constitutional Monarchy

› Monarch: Kanina Phisher

› Head of State: Zbutime Selmani

› Head of Govenment: Natalia Curri

Legislature: Kabzeelian Collective Agency

› Upper House: Her Majesty's Higher Council

› Lower House: Her Majesty's Lower Council

Currency: ₩ Royal Token





National Anthem: Link"Hatikvah"

Unitary Socialist Constitutional Monarchy

Leading Party:
International Workers Party of Kabzeel

Kanina Phisher

Head of State:
Zbutime Selmani

Head of Government:
Natalia Curri

Minister of the Upper House:
LinkLiriana Shala

Minister of the Lower House:
LinkKoliza Dhamo

The Crowned Republic of Kabzeel is a massive, safe nation renowned for it's combination of capitalist economics and culturally socialist values within a state-planned market economy. Officially led by the Dearest Lady of the Council, Kanina Phisher, the role of head of state is delegated through the President of Kabzeel, Jezebel Hoxha, and the Chairwoman of the Higher & Lower Councils, Natalia Curri.

The government is quite large and socially conservative in some aspects while also being socially progressive in others. Kabzeel has promoted the concept of socialist family values and globalization; however, they are also avowedly critical of the concept of divorce as a "perversion of the sanctity of marriage" and have routinely opposed abortion rights for mothers pregnant for longer than 91 days consecutively.

The frighteningly efficient Kabzeelian economy, worth 233 trillion bitcoins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 107,183 bitcoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.


The Crowned Republic of Kabzeel was founded November 20, 1875 in a violent revolution led by the Honorable Ana Phisher and Director Çelina Maxhuni. The first edition of the constitution would be drafted on March 26, 1876 and officially signed into law May 13, 1876. Kabzeel would become the first nation in history to run a female majority government. This new government would pass socially progressive laws that at the point in time was rather unknown.

This early government of Kabzeel was led by the Republican Socialist faction of the International Workers Party. However, this would begin to change after the election of 1916 that saw Emiranda Logoreci take the presidency under the Democratic Socialist factions authority. Logoreci saught to end this petty factionalism as she viewed it as counter revolutionary bureaucratism, so by 1921 she successfully banned factionalism.

In WWII the Kabzeelians had fought against the German aggressors and on the side of the Allies, primarily the Soviets. After the Allies victory Kabzeel was awarded the land they collected from the war which brought them from the Adriatic Sea to the Caspian Sea.

Policy would remain rather similar until 1986 when Marina Frantsaliiska entered office. She began a process of liberalization in the means of economic flow in Kabzeel's production as she entered Kabzeel into foreign markets and rose corruption to a point Kabzeel had never seen before. She was disposed of in 1996 and barred from running for the presidency ever again. Since then Marina became a vivid critic of Kabzeel and became even more famous by insulting the Dearest Ladies Pipa and Kanina Phisher, as well as Her Majesty's President, The Honorable Miss Bella Mehmeti.

In 2016, Bella Mehmeti chose not to run for presidency and Kabzeel elected a new one named Jezebel Hoxha, who beforehand showed promise as an excellent Chairwoman back in 2010. Kabzeel also elected a new Chairwoman by the name of Natalia Curri who was previously the Minister of Defense.


Current head of state: Jezebel Hoxha; Her Majesty's President of Kabzeel
Current head of government: Natalia Curri; Her Majesty's Chairwoman of Kabzeel

The Crowned Republic of Kabzeel is a socially-oriented state with a recognized monarch, a president, a chairwoman, and a legislature with two houses, those being the upper and lower houses led by Liriana Shala and Koliza Dhamo. The state only has one party, that being the International Worker's Party; however, multiple different factions exist within it.

Law Enforcement

Anti-social behaviours are punishable by jail sentences and/or punitive fines, depending on the seriousness of the infraction. These behaviours, defined loosely as those "which violate standards of morality and show flagrant disrespect for public order and the collective good", include: public nudity, vandalism, possession of pornography, use of profanity in public, recreational drug use, and membership in anti-social subcultures, among many other things.

Crimes penalised by lengthy prison sentences tend to be more serious, such as drug dealing and violence against innocent citizens. Capital punishment is reserved for only the worst crimes: murder, rape, and high treason.

Rights Guaranteed by the Government
- Freedom from slavery and exploitative working conditions
- Freedom of speech (excluding explicit speech and speech intended to incite violence)
- Freedom of ideology
- Freedom of religion
- Right to a fair trial
- Right to education, health care, and housing
- Right to personal property
- Right to privacy while inside one's own residence - police must have a warrant to conduct surveillance.
- Right to vote, for those over 18 without criminal records

Other Laws
Ownership of hunting rifles is legal for citizens. However, individuals who commit a crime of any nature immediately forfeit their right to own a gun.

Production and/or consumption of alcohol is completely illegal.

Production and/or consumption of cannabis is prohibited without the written permission of one's doctor.

Divorce is prohibited in order to maintain the sanctity of marriage and to limit the number of abusive relationships by providing young couples with the proper education needed before they can marry.

Adultery is a prohibited by law in order to maintain the sanctity of a healthy relationship. The penalty is being sent to a reeducation facility.


Foreigners often describe Kabzeelians as some of the most polite, helpful, and generous people they've ever encountered. Common courtesy and "comradely politeness" are considered extremely important; Kabzeelians generally believe in the idea of treating all others with kindness and respect, even if it's someone they dislike.

Some aspects of Kabzeelian etiquette may seem overly formal to foreigners, such as the near-ubiquitous use of surnames and the emphasis on using good manners. Many tourists dislike being addressed as Mr. or Ms., but Kabzeelians often feel as if they're being incredibly rude when addressing a casual acquaintance by first name. Foreigners also note an adversity to jumping into intimacy too quickly--Kabzeelians need to take their time getting to know someone, especially on a romantic level.

An interesting abnormality about Kabzeelians is their tendency to get into deep conversations. Philosophy and politics are both common topics for a casual chat. Unlike in some other cultures, Kabzeelians rarely come out of political debates with hurt feelings, simply because of their unwavering politeness. Says one tourist, "Honestly, a Kabzeelian could insult me to my face and I'd just take it, because she worded it in such a courteous way."

When meeting someone for the first time, Kabzeelians will usually shake hands. At subsequent meetings, cheek kissing is common-Link"socialist fraternal kiss" is exchanged among fellow socialists, and two kiss on the cheeks are exchanged among pretty much anyone else. That said, Kabzeelians don't usually mind if someone expresses discomfort with kisses, and will continue to greet them with a handshake or a hug instead.

Kabzeelian fashion is modest and practical above all else, due to the nation's proletarian history and its staunch opposition of the sexual objectification of women in society.

In Kabzeel the family unit is one of the most important values for all Kabzeelians. The government promotes the idea of socialist family values while abolishing the thought of the nuclear family as an old, outdated reactionary belief used to pull women down and have them remain below the men of society. Families also tend to be quite large -- the average parent has three children, though it is not uncommon to come across Kabzeelians with more than five siblings. Three-generation households are typical, especially in more rural areas where larger homes are available. In more urban areas, often an extended family will share a cluster of neighboring apartments.

Marriage is taken very seriously. Divorce and adultery are socially frowned upon; Kabzeelians view them as devaluing what is supposed to be a very permanent and meaningful bond. However, in Kabzeel the only way to obtain a divorce is whether or not the relationship is either abusive or fraudulent. There is great stigma against premarital sex and especially premarital pregnancy, which is why the government aims to teach and warn young boys and girls the dangers of sex so they may choose more intelligent choices for their lives.


Kabzeel is transitioning away from a free market economy into a Linkstate-planned market economy. The state has a monopoly over the most essential industries, such as health care, education, and infrastructure, while private citizens are free to open businesses in other industries, to a point. The nation is economically self-sufficient and sometimes engages in trade with friendly regimes. Free, high-quality public education is offered from primary school to university. Healthcare is free at the point of use, paid for by taxes. Hospitals will never turn away patients; healthcare is viewed as a human right by the Kabzeelian government.

Working in Kabzeel
Kabzeel has a four-day work week. Most people work or attend school Monday through Thursday. In lines of work which require someone on the job daily, such as the police, schedules are staggered in such a way that 80% of the workforce is there each day.

Typical workdays are only about 8 hours long. The short workday and work week ensure that the workers have the time needed to care for themselves and their families as it is consider to be apart of the Kabzeelian Dream.

All state-owned workplaces offer free lunch for their workers in some capacity. Workplaces outside of the city (such as factories and collective farms) usually have a dining hall of their own where meals are served, whereas most workplaces in the city will provide their workers with free meal passes for a public cafeteria within walking distance.


People of all sexualities share the same rights and live free from persecution. Non-heterosexuals are present even at some of the highest levels of government. Kabzeelians are even very open to the transgender population and have completely integrated them into society. However, some Kabzeelians still hold conservative views upon them.

The government places restrictions on how many immigrants can come to Kabzeel per year. Immigrants must be at least conversationally fluent in Kabzeelian and willing to conform to Kabzeelian culture to a reasonable extent.

About 61% of Kabzeelians consider themselves agnostic with some sort of leaning towards different religions. Muslims make up 30% of the population (Shia Islam is the most prevalent denomination), and various other religions comprise the remaining 9%. A majority of Kabzeelian Muslims identify themselves as "Islamic Socialists".

Same-sex sexual activity

Recognition of same-sex unions

Same-sex marriage

Adoption by same-sex couples

LGB allowed to serve openly in military?

Anti-discrimination laws concerning
sexual orientation

Laws concerning gender identity

Legal since 1937

Legal since 1973

Legal since 1984

Step-child adoption since 1999.
Joint adoption since 2016.

+/-Since 1972;
"Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy"

Bans anti-gay discrimination;
Basic Law: Human Dignity and Liberty
applies to homosexuals and bisexuals

Legal gender
recognition is legal if accompanied
by a medical intervention;
equal employment opportunity law bars
discrimination based on gender identity;

Miscellaneous Facts

Nearly 82% of the population is female.

The official religion of Kabzeel is Dear Ladyism. However, Dear Ladyism is not an actual religion but a doctrine of respect for the royal family of the Crowned Republic of Kabzeel.

Dear Ladyism is the official doctrine of the Crowned Republic of Kabzeel, which espouses the respect towards the Queen and the royal family of Kabzeel.


President of Kabzeel: Jezebel Hoxha
Chairwoman of Kabzeel: Natalia Curri
Party Secretariat of the IWP: Mirni Lumani
Minister of Upper House: Liriana Shala
Minister of the Lower House: Koliza Dhamo


November 20, 1875

International Workers Party
Republican Socialists
Democratic Socialists
Market Socialists
Social Democrats
Logoreci Socialists
(Former President Emiranda Logoreci)
New Socialists
Agrarian Socialists

General facts

Kabzeelian State News/The Lady's Press

Head of Legislature
Natalia Curri

Capital of Kabzeel


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