Boku no Shukuteki Rari: Sukueapantsu Suponjibobu Monogatari!!

Boku no Shukuteki Rari: Sukueapantsu Suponjibobu Monogatari!!
(My Nemesis Larry: The Tale of SpongeBob SquarePants!!)

Tears flowed slowly away from the great samurai Suponjibobu’s face as he gazed upon the carnage that lay before him. His clan lay broken and bloody on the seafloor, devastated by a powerful attack from the unstoppable Rari Robusuta while he was out on campaign. He had gathered the bodies and laid them haphazardly around him, awaiting Suponjibobu and what remained of his inner circle and their inevitable counterattack. Suponjibobu’s gaze met the empty, lifeless eyes of his liege, Daimyo Kurabusu, whose head was severed from his carapace and held on the point of a naginata planted in the sand. Sandi-sensei’s hand grasped his shoulder, holding him back as he shook with rage.

Suponjibobu Sukueapantsu was a legendary samurai, a master of the blade unrivaled in all of Bikini Bottom. He was the most disciplined and calm warrior in his clan as well, even bordering on being carefree in peacetime, but his years of training were unraveling in his anger. In times like these, his closest friends would be essential to balancing his chaotic ki. Standing by his side were two other great warriors: the last of the Kurusti Kuru, Daimyo Kurabusu’s elite samurai that executed the old crab’s will and protected his vast wealth.
To his left was Sandi-sensei, an ultra-powerful karateka from a faraway land. She had left her homeland of Tekisasu to train in the art of karate underneath the fabled Ryukyu Islands, honing her craft until she was capable of splitting a man in two with the swiftness of a turtle’s snapping jaw. Suponjibobu studied under her for years, eventually becoming skilled enough to rival his master. Her patience and control over her emotions kept Suponjibobu from unleashing his power prematurely.

To his right was Patorikku Suta, fabled ninja warrior infamous for his deadly skill with shuriken. When he wished to remain unseen, he disappeared with such totality that his enemies considered him naught but a ghost. He was quiet and stoic, which fools among him mistook for foolishness. However, his tactical and technical proficiency in battle was unrivaled, and he quickly silenced his critics with his dazzling displays of talent...often fatally. He was the sole survivor of Rari’s attack on the Kurusti Kuru, vanishing in a puff of smoke to warn Suponjibobu of the threat they were now here to confront.

Rari looked upon his final three opponents and smirked. The vastness of his power was radiating out into the ocean around him, his heavenly image accented brightly against the devastation before him. His muscles rippled with energy, flexing of their own accord. He was unarmed, for his body itself was his weapon.

“So. Have you all come to pledge your allegiance to Daimyo Purankuton, or to commit seppuku and redeem the honor you have lost by allowing me to crush your pathetic clan?” Rari postured, his cocky arrogance dripping like poison from his mouth. He knew this was no choice at all; the Kuru’s code demanded loyalty to the daimyo even in death. Suponjibobu winced at the mention of Purankuton, his master’s most hated nemesis. Rari was of course his most treasured samurai, as Suponjibobu was Kurabusu’s. He pulled away from Sandi-sensei’s grasp and faced Rari, his power level increasing to dangerous heights.

“Rari...why have you done this? Why must you have brought such destruction upon our clan?” Suponjibobu asked, his voice soft with restrained passion.

“To test my power,” Rari replied. His words seemed to echo off every broken body before him. “But of course, my lord was also keen on obtaining something very special that your clan has been working on, something your pathetic master was trying to keep hidden,” he continued. Suponjibobu’s blood went cold, and his fellow warriors exchanged confused looks.

“The secret formula…” Suponjibobu muttered. He knew, at the bottom of his heart he knew that it was the only way Rari had been capable of such overwhelming destruction. Paturikku turned his attention to his pal.

“What is this formula you speak of? Was Kurabusu keeping something from us…?” Paturikku held firmly onto his katana, prepared for any sudden move. Suponjibobu’s gaze narrowed on his nemesis, studying his ki.

“Kurabusu had been experimenting with a substance that would power up a samurai to extreme levels, but it wasn’t ready yet. Rari must have taken it from the vault during his siege. If Purankuton gets his hands on it, there will be nothing standing between him and total victory,” Suponjibobu explained. He closed his eyes and focused, allowing his chakras to open to their widest extent. “But I won’t let him. Rari will fall to my might!”

Rari laughed. “You think you are any match for me, Sukueapantsu? Your arrogance is disgraceful, you will regret not restoring your honor while you had the chance. Now, feel my wrath!!” His arms swelled with raw energy and slammed hard into the seafloor, sending seismic ripples slamming into the samurai.

“It is his legendary Anchor Arms, Suponjibobu! You have to stop him!” Sandi-sensei screamed as she soared through the water. Wordlessly, Suponjibobu reached for his trusty hydrodynamic spatula and used its oscillating port and starboard attachments to propel him into turbo drive, heading straight for Rari.

“HI-YAAAAAA!!” he wailed, plunging through the depths at the speed of sound. He made impact with Rari with a thunderous crash, a ripple of ki pushing out around them. Rari had raised his Anchor Arms to block the attack, however, and he was propelled backwards. He tumbled backwards into a somersault, and landed on his feet. Spotting an overturned boatmobile to his side, he easily picked up the vehicle and launched it at Suponjibobu with overwhelming force. Suponjibobu barely had time to react, but his Super Instinct activated and without a thought, he split the boatmobile in half mid-air with a devastating karate chop. Rari scoffed.

“Is that all you’ve got, Sukueapantsu? You’re hiding your potential, I know this isn’t even 10% of your power,” Rari taunted, readying himself for a counter-attack. “Don’t hold out on me! Go all out, one last time!”

Suddenly, Suponjibobu’s eyes erupted with blue flame.

“I’m no wimp,” he growled. The spirits of his ancestors began to channel their energy into him, raising him high above the ocean floor. Rari took a step back, shocked.

“C-could it be…? That this wimp is in fact...the m-mythical Gufi Guba?”

“I’M A JERK!”

Suponjibobu’s body became encased in a giant blue inferno, and the spirits of his fallen clan members flowed into him, bringing his power to obscene levels. Rari braced for impact, the secret formula augmenting his thick shell with even more damage resistance. But even the formula could not protect against the wrath of a thousand vengeful spirits....

TO BE CONTINUED?