It sucks when you think you have a reciprocal relationship with someone and it turns out the second they hear something about you that’s awful and clearly questionable they bail and don’t even give you notice.
Like. Okay. I guess we weren’t pals then.
Rules when Apple dumps Beepee (if it's not a case of direct harassment, if it's harassment then BLOCK ASAP: basically, if A is harassed by B, A should immediately block B everywhere and vanish from B. But if A isn’t getting harassed by B, then):
1) A should tell B WHY he is blocking that person, BEFORE doing so.
2) Give B a chance to explain themselves. B could have been framed, or B's enemies could have sent A a set of fake logs, photoshopped logs, or out-of-context logs. It may be tempting to delete B right after sending them a flamey accusation, but it's best to hear both sides of the story first. If, after having a frank exchange of truths, and you're still not satisfied by B, you may say so and block them.
3) DON'T spread lies about B. A may (wrongly) believe the rumors that B's enemies told A, but A should not spread these lies without verifying that they're actually true and having REAL proof. Not out-of-context or photoshopped proof (it's too easy to photoshop discord chats using Photoshop or GIMP, and a complete joke to fake any TEXT proof.) Also, if B confesses to doing the crime/rumor, then that's the truth (Brunhilde viewtopic.php?f=12&t=400660&p=32863037#p32863037.) But if B keeps denying the crime/rumor, then STOP spreading the rumors without actual real proof.
4) NO ONE CAN READ OTHER PEOPLE'S THOUGHTS, EXCEPT THAT PERSON HIMSELF. Similarly, no one can read YOUR mind except yourself.
If B's friend is telling you what B's criminal thoughts are, that is NOT proof of anything other than the fake friend being a two-faced friend, because no one can READ MINDS. For example, people could accuse B of hiding a criminal actions due to B's friendship, but in reality B could have been completely absent and did not know about any of it. Or, the criminal could have been deceiving B. Find out what happened from B directly, not third parties.
5) If you have partial chatlog snippets of B's crimes, then show B*, and if B shows you the FULL chatlogs of where your log snippets are from, you may find out that the crime did NOT actually happen. You may find that the rumor is twisted, out of context, and designed to frame B into doing something he didn't do. Therefore, when you see incriminating SMALL chatlogs, ask B if B could send you the full logs of the ENTIRE conversation.
*there may be a case where the person who **gave you the logs of B's chats, tells you NOT to show B, or tells you NOT to show anyone else. If that person is too coward to use those logs to back up his allegations, then that person needs to STOP spreading those allegations. (B already has the logs since they're from B's chats.)
**actually even FUNNIER if that person does not give you ANY logs, but alleges that the logs EXIST. Yes people do this.
There are a few likely reasons why a person leaks from B but does not want B to find out what exactly got screenshotted/leaked from B’s private messages:
-they do not want B to defend himself, especially when the logs themselves are fake or out of context
-that person could STILL be faking his friendship with B (a term called fake friends.)
-That person KNOWS that B can counter-leak the full context of a conversation. For example,
Also, this makes no difference since Perg is retired from NS.
Some idiots have been posting this "out of context" screenshot around in their highly upvoted "WAR ON NPO" dispatches:
Full context shows:
Perg is NOT actually advocating "go all toxic." He's saying that there's always a WAY to win, which is by going all toxic (that doesn't mean he's the one doing it, nor is he saying it's right; he's calling it a method that gets used to "guarantee" "winning.") Example: Karma being toxic making NPO's imperial staff having a breakdown.
(Not sure if this actually happened.)
And to win in CN, a player acts like a "NPO worker machine" or "goes all toxic/throws morals overboard."
That's my theory but that's all I have to comment on the matter. Again, he's retired, and I'm not trying to help him, but the usage of Out of Context screenshots to defame someone always piss me off the most (since this phenomenon keeps happening to me, where my full sentence is photoshopped out by asinine NS players who only display a snippet of a sentence I said, which forms the appearance of me saying the opposite of what I actually said.) I hope this one with Perg was just a misunderstanding and not out of bad intention.
Anyway, there's probably other stuff this guy did, I don't know them or care about them.
P.S. this does not mean I took a stance on this whole NPO war thing. I can still say "NPO Delenda Est" or "NPO Dewenda Est ;;w;;" depending on my choice, but I said none of this stuff because I'm a retired issues-answerer ^.^
(Don't upvote this though, not interested in joining the fray)
Basically, B can show that what the leaker attempts to convey B saying, is in reality NOT what B is saying. B could have been saying the opposite meaning, or saying it hypothetically.
-That person does not want to be caught lying (while the log snippet is real, if the intent behind the speaker's words is twisted from what the speaker was actually saying, the leaker is considered lying, for portraying the speaker in false light.)
-There are exceptions, when you’re a IC(in-character) politician, it’s fine to keep IC secrets; but if they’re OOC allegations, you damn well better get the truth before you accuse someone of harassment/crimes.
6) Find out if there are any actual VICTIMS. For example, many people can claim that B harassed C. But you can ask C, and C says that he never actually saw anything and was on vacation at the beach the entire time. Then you find out that they happened to both be friends on facebook with a criminal, and somehow the story evolved into B harassed C. People went crazy with fake+exaggerated stories about B, ruining B’s reputation. Anyway, if you see that B has 0 victims, maybe re-consider.
7) Consider the motives of the person spreading the lies. See if that person holds a grudge against B, or was “close to B for years”- but turned face within 1 single day. This is called, CONFLICT OF INTEREST. They could have had a fight between friends, was boyfriend/girlfriend but broke up, etc. Not everything is black/white in this world and no one is a perfect angel. See if the person(people) spreading rumors about B are “of the same group of friends,” who suddenly dumped B from their “in-group.” Also, if they use the excuse that they “were close friends with B and didn’t want to do this(ie spread rumors)” — consider that they may have been PRETENDING to be B’s friend the entire, or a significant portion of the, time. Sorry to B if B got deceived believing the friendship is real. (((There are many ulterior motives to pretend to be someone’s friend. I don’t do this, because this was done to me, and it felt horrible, so I don’t do it anymore. I confess that I did it in the past— pretending to be someone I disliked’s friend—but no more from now on. From now on, full honesty ahead.)))
8) “innocent before proven guilty.”
Treat others how you want to be treated. Don’t believe just anything people say, because a lot of it is bull-crap. Base your opinions off your own observations, not other people’s smack-talk. If someone gossips/smears you, you want to be given the chance to defend yourself too.
9) Fake friends are worse than open enemies. B would rather have enemies who say they're B’s enemy, over people who tell B that they're B’s friend but behind the scenes are trying to gossip and make people hate B for fake and absurd reasons.
10) DO NOT ACCUSE "B" of "playing the victim". B could be going through so much stress right now, or defending himself against fake accusations; he does not need to be accused of pretending to be a victim. That's like telling a bullied person that he's playing victim.
11) To be continued when I think of more conditions.
Disclaimer: All characters used here are fictional. (I only wrote this dispatch to rant off some steam (and it felt good,) and to teach people how to treat others right. This is not an attempt to "be a victim" or to "seek pity." Although some are bound to accuse me of that even though this dispatch is purely educational, and some stuff here are actually stuff I learned from my unfortunate experiences, a lot of it from NS too.)
(Disclaimer 2: these rules do not apply to everyone in existence, but they apply to MOST people who are targets of smearing, including myself, and they serve as good guidelines when considering someone controversial- controversial as in, not 100% closed-book banned from truly everywhere but still has a bad reputation- especially from smear campaigns or backdoor gossip.)